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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

August is a fairly good month for us. Lion and I met online on August 13, 2002. By the 16th we met in person and had sex for the first time. Yes, we work fast. But you have to remember that I was coming out of a sixteen year marriage and I was convinced that it was my time to sow my wild oats. It turned out that I was looking less for sowing and more for finding someone I could really get along with. Neither Lion or I were interested in a long term relationship at the time. We certainly weren’t looking for marriage. For one thing, I was still married. Lion had been married a few times before. So we continued enjoying each other’s company. Even after I moved in we were decidedly anti-marriage. Not anti-marriage in the sense that we didn’t believe in it. We just didn’t believe in it for us.

In August of 2005, Lion said we should get married. Both of us knew we were in it for the long haul by that point, and marriage wasn’t a requirement. Lion wanted to make sure we were legally protected. If anything happened he wanted no question of who should make the decision to pull the plug or even visit each other in the hospital. So on Friday we got our marriage license and rings and, since we had to wait 24 hours before we got married, put on the brakes until Monday. We’re not religious people so it’s not like we could call our minister/pastor/rabbi and do an impromptu wedding. On Monday morning we called a local justice of the peace, went to her office at lunchtime, and (one of my favorite parts of the whole thing) yanked a random lady out of an office to be our witness. Bing, bang, boom. Done. To this day, it’s still one of my favorite weddings I’ve ever been to. No muss, no fuss. We don’t care about fanfare anyway, and I think the whole thing cost less than $300 between the license, the rings, the JOP and the cake ([Lion — Carvel ice cream cake]). Now, thirteen years after meeting, and ten years after that whirlwind wedding, we are still together and going strong. A year and a half after adding male chastity to our lives, we’re better than ever.

I hope he thinks the sex is better than ever. He may have to wait longer for his orgasms, but I think he might enjoy them more. Getting him incredibly turned on and edging him a few times before giving him release is definitely more intense. Last night we played before we went to dinner to test Lion’s theory that edging him in one session would lead to a less painful orgasm in a second session. By the time we got home it was late, but I think because we had played earlier, he got turned on quickly. I couldn’t very well give him a quick orgasm. Nope. Where’s the fun in that? I had to edge him a few more times. Each time he thought this was it, I stopped short. And then suddenly this was it. And it didn’t hurt. Score one for Lion. Well, score two – one for the orgasm and one for no pain.

His next wait is only four days. I hope he can make it.

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In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex
pizza peel
This is the peel Mrs. Lion got me as my anniversary present. I was lusting for one since it makes putting pizza in the oven much easier. It also looks like a big-butt paddle.

Today is our tenth anniversary. Sunday (I think) is the 13th anniversary of our meeting. It doesn’t feel like we have been together that long. I am amazingly fortunate to be with Mrs. Lion. In every respect she is my perfect soulmate. This year money is too tight to buy gifts or do anything extravagant. I did sell something on ebay and we will use that money to go to a restaurant we like to celebrate tonight. I was very surprised when the UPS man brought a metal peel. Mrs. Lion knows I have been wanting one for a very long time. It’s used to put pizza into the oven. I have a wooden one which is perfect for removing pizza, but is too “grabby” to work well sliding out from under raw crust after putting it in the oven.

In all of those years we have never had a serious fight. I have never had the slightest desire to be anywhere but with my lioness. I am the world’s most difficult critter to shop for. She has never failed to delight me with her gifts, big and small. Before meeting me she had only had sex with one other man. I had the honor of introducing her to kink. Despite the initial shock when I asked her to spank me, she has embraced our adventurous lifestyle and has become an extremely competent keyholder and disciplinary wife. I am a very lucky guy.

Coincidentally, today is also my scheduled orgasm day. I’ve been on my best behavior and I think sometime this evening I will finally get to come. I thought that by this point (18 days), I would have lost a lot of interest in an orgasm. I also figured that edging me would be more difficult. Wrong on both counts! Mrs. Lion has no trouble getting me hard and edging me. She has edged me more than five times every night. By the fifth or sixth time, barely touching me will get me ready to come. She’s gotten really good at edging. She always manages to stop with me hoping for that little bit more that will get me off.

Tomorrow’s first post, the one I usually write, is our one-thousandth. It marks a milestone. By my calculation, that is well over 700,000 words written. The post tomorrow morning is a joint effort of Steeled Snake and his keyholder, Steeled Snake Charmer, Mrs. Lion, and me. The four of us practice enforced chastity in somewhat different ways and have been doing it for about the same amount of time. Mrs. Lion and I would like to thank the Snakes (?) for their generous contribution. Their blog is one of my favorites. I hope you get a chance to read this post. It wasn’t planned that our thousandth post falls within a day of our tenth anniversary. I hope the coincidence is a good omen. We need some financial good luck now. The stress hasn’t hurt our relationship at all. We agree that as long as we have one another, we are very rich lions.

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In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

There is a bit of folk wisdom that says a man will do anything for the promise of sex. Teenage girls learn that boys can be easily manipulated if you get them hard and then tell them what you want. You don’t have to get them off, just make them think that sex is possible if they obey. This, of course, is the basis for the old expression, “Leading him around by his cock.” It seems to me that this is the basis for modern enforced chastity. The general belief that one of the primary drivers of male behavior is the desire to have sex, suggests that if you control a male’s ability to orgasm, you control the male. I think a lot of us, including me, buy into this. There is no other logical genesis for enforced chastity.

Every single enforced chastity fantasy is about much more than just preventing orgasm. They’re all about controlling other male behavior using the possibility of orgasm as the carrot and extending the wait as the stick. Is this true? Are we that easy to control? From puberty onward, most of us combat this vulnerability by masturbating; providing our own orgasms. Granted, it’s not nearly as much fun as a partner stimulating us, but it does take care of the basic biological need. If you lock the penis in a device that prevents masturbation, then the only outlet becomes the person who has possession of the key to unlock it. All this is obvious. If this relatively inexpensive, easy system essentially tames a male, why don’t more women try to lock their partners in a chastity device? The simple fact is that nearly all enforced chastity is initiated by the male.

In all the time I have been writing about enforced chastity, I am only aware of two cases when the woman initiated it. Most of the fantasies are just the opposite. But in reality, this is a male-initiated activity. I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. I am very happy she did. I think there are some very good reasons why women don’t suggest enforced chastity. The first, I think, is that they are unaware there is such a thing as a male chastity device. Let’s face it, most people, male and female, have no idea that some men have their penises locked up and their orgasms controlled by their keyholders. If, by chance they learn of enforced chastity, the vast majority are shocked at the practice. They equate it with whips and chains. It’s way outside of their sexual comfort zone. Those of us who practice this know that. Do we tell our coworkers, family, and friends our penises are locked up? No way!

In fact, even though they know men can be manipulated with the promise of sex, women generally avoid that behavior. They feel it is unfair or wrong. Many of these women are perfectly comfortable using guilt as a control mechanism, but not sex. In the general population here in the U.S., sex is an uncomfortable subject for most people. It’s something they do in a dark bedroom. Even kinky people who practice exotic sexual activities and like BDSM, find using sex as a control tool to be uncomfortable. That’s why enforced chastity is such a exotic kink. The vast majority of the BDSM community practice power exchange for an hour or two at a time. Very few extend it to daily life. That small minority of us who want lifestyle control and want orgasm control and enforced chastity have an uphill struggle to actually live it. The first problem is to convince our partners to do it. Behavioral control isn’t in the vocabulary of most women (and men, for that matter).

Control by withholding ejaculation is something almost all women never considered. It isn’t that they are simply unaware of the practice. Those who have hear of it don’t believe that it works. Most men who try enforced chastity stop within a short time of starting. Those denial fantasies are hot. Actually being locked up for days at a time without hope of ejaculating is a different story. They discover that it isn’t all fun and games. That chastity device is hot to wear, but not so hot to be unable to remove. They discover that enforced chastity and orgasm control isn’t about sex at all. It’s about power. When the keyholder recognizes that this kink is about exerting control, the fantasies fade from the male mind and he realizes that things are changing on many levels. This is uncomfortable for most.

It isn’t just keyholders who have to move out of their comfort zones to practice enforced chastity. The caged males also discover that they aren’t just experiencing extended foreplay, they are no longer in control of sex; theirs or their partner’s. Almost by definition, when that locks snaps shut, they are sexually submissive and either have to learn to live with that or give up.

I’ve discovered that I can indeed be led around by my penis. I have to please my lioness to have any hope of ejaculation. In our case, Mrs. Lion schedules my orgasms and almost always sticks to that schedule. I have no doubt that if I displease her, I will not only get punished, she will extend how long I have to wait for my next orgasm. Just suggesting that if I don’t do something I will have to wait longer is enough to pull me up short and do what I am told. A spanking, no matter how painful, only lasts a short time. An extra three days of waiting feels like an eternity. Just knowing that I have absolutely no control over when and how I will orgasm, is a powerful incentive to be obedient. I’ve learned in the most graphic way possible, that I can indeed be led around by my penis. Even after more than a year and a half, it still works. I’m sure it will work forever.

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Yesterday, my post discussed possible ways to determine minimum and maximum wait times. Mrs. Lion in her post mentioned that I offered so many different opinions that it’s a good thing she does the picking of wait times. My intention yesterday wasn’t to offer her a smorgasbord of wait times I want. It was to suggest logical options. None of what I wrote is about what would work for me, just some ideas about setting enforced chastity waits. I think that each male reacts differently to enforced waits between orgasms. A lot has to do with age. But based on my reading, we are quite similar.

In my case, I’ve observed that starting with the third day of waiting I get much hornier. This peaks on the fifth or sixth day. My interest remains very strong until the seventh day. After that it drops slowly. By the fifteenth day I don’t think much about sex during the day. If Mrs. Lion teases me nightly, she can easily get me erect and excited no matter how long the wait. If she skips a day, even early in the cycle, it takes more work to get me hard. She observed that yesterday. In the past she commented that I get hard very quickly between the fifth and seventh days.  On the day she edged me twice I was super interested in coming. Apparently the frequency of edging has the expected effect on me. What I find interesting is that now that I am at my 15th day of waiting, even writing about all this isn’t arousing me. I’ve read that others also find waiting much easier after about ten days.

I’m not sure that any of this should influence how long I wait, but it does influence the lion “weather report”. This loss of interest when not being stimulated doesn’t mean I am less interested in an orgasm, at least for now. Instead of biological pressure to come, I find myself missing the opportunities to come. It’s hard to put into words. It’s like the feeling you get after a great vacation. You really wanted it to last longer or happen again very soon. It’s a longing. Is this emotional horniness? I think that in situations where the keyholder allows the caged male to give her frequent orgasms, there is much less longing. On an emotional level it must be quite satisfying to provide all that sexual pleasure to the keyholder. Even in vanilla sex, I’ve noticed that my satisfaction is much greater when my partner had a good orgasm.

Our case, at least at present, is different. Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in orgasms for herself. We are both focused on my orgasms exclusively. I think this is why I can observe so easily my change from physical sexual need to emotional longing. As a practical matter, it shouldn’t affect how Mrs. Lion sets my waits. It just means that the lion weather report changes as my wait lengthens. It also means that if time between edging sessions is increased, she can expect it to take longer, maybe much longer to get me aroused and close to orgasm.

There’s one other thing I have observed: After a long wait (for me), the orgasm can sometimes actually hurt and not be very pleasurable. Other guys have observed this as well. My theory is that my body needs “priming” before actually going for an orgasm. That doesn’t mean edging me in the same session as I get to come. That didn’t help in the past. I think it means an edging session the same day that doesn’t end in orgasm, then some time later the session that includes preliminary edging and the orgasm. That’s just a theory. I don’t have any real evidence to support it. I also believe this is only necessary after a relatively long wait. I think it gives my endocrine system time to secrete enough hormones to restore physical horniness. This could all be wrong, but it’s my theory for now.