By:
In: Erections, Lion's Journal, Spanking

Mrs. Lion hates it when I suggest what she “should” do. In my post yesterday, “Get Hard Or Else“, I responded to her post of the day before, “Communicate or be Spanked” where she suggested that on nights I don’t want play or get teased sexually, I might be spanked unless I had a good reason. I suggested that maybe this could be a less squishy rule that required me to get hard when she wanted.

I’m not trying to defend the fact I elaborated. I just want to avoid a trap we seem to fall into: When a rule is subjective like spanked for annoying Mrs. Lion, it doesn’t seem to get enforced. When the rule is concrete like, set up the coffeepot every day, Mrs. Lion is excellent in observing an infraction and punishing it. That’s why I tried to make her subjective concept into a more concrete one.

We both decided that there wasn’t enough spanking going on here. That may sound odd coming from me, but we both can all-too-easily stop something if we don’t consistently practice it. The maintenance spanking I got last Tuesday didn’t have the same effect on either of us that punishment has. We agreed to find more opportunities for me to earn a spanking. We both realize that the disciplinary part of our marriage has value for us that we don’t want to lose.

Given that, it seemed to me we could have a concrete easy-to-spot rule that would provide us with opportunities for more spanking. It also would take advantage of the connection I have with spanking and sex. That’s the reason for my proposal.

I suppose that means I want more spanking. I do, but it isn’t that simple. Mrs. Lion is willing to spank me if I ask her. Those “play” spankings have a very different feel. It may be because we both know I requested it. That puts me in control. That may also be the problem with maintenance spankings. I don’t earn them.

It is a very different feeling when I am to be spanked for breaking a rule. I feel a total loss of control as well as remorse for doing something wrong. I think Mrs. Lion also approaches it differently. She means business and wants me to learn something. She knows that if she doesn’t make a very strong, hopefully-lasting impression I won’t change.

This is where a sexual rule becomes tricky for her. Sex is for me. Mrs. Lion reasons that if I don’t want sex, there is no reason for her to impose it on me. That’s logically sound. Up until now, I’ve thought about orgasm control as Mrs. Lion preventing me from having orgasms unless she decides to give me one. It’s the basis for male chastity. In that sense, me not wanting sex is fine. It’s less work for my lioness.

When Mrs. Lion wrote about expecting me to want to play unless I had a good reason not to, I realized that orgasm control and male chastity has a flip side. If I’m not allowed to ejaculate without permission, shouldn’t any sexual response also be under her control? If she wants me to get hard and she is in control, shouldn’t I? If she wants me to pick a card from the Box O’Fun and then get what’s written on it, shouldn’t that happen?

After her post, I realized that it should. Preventing orgasm is pretty easy. She can lock my penis in a male chastity device or rely on my training to assure I won’t ejaculate without her making me. A much more interesting concept for me, at least, is the idea that if she wants me aroused, shouldn’t I obey?

I’ve reached a point when sometimes I’m not in the mood for sex. Recently, that’s happened frequently. It would be too easy to let me control when I get hard. In a way, it is the same as me deciding when I get spanked. It might work for some, but I don’t think it works for me.

My suggested rule may not work well either. I’m sure that in the beginning, I will get frequent spankings. That’s not a bad thing. I believe that punishing me for failing to be aroused will have the same effect that punishing me for spilling on my shirt had. I stopped spilling on my shirt. Wouldn’t that be a great outcome?

By:
In: Erections, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

In her post yesterday, “Communicate Or Be Spanked“, Mrs. Lion made it clear that when she wants me hard and interested in an orgasm, I better be or face a spanking. She did write that she would accept a good reason for not wanting sex, she would have to decide on just what would be acceptable. She also said that she didn’t want to be unfair and would not require me hard and panting too soon after she had gotten me to ejaculate.

I suppose this is a logical extension of male chastity. If you consider that orgasm control not only includes preventing orgasms unless authorized, it also should include producing orgasms when expected or at least produce an erection. In the past, Mrs. Lion has been more than happy to put off sexual activity if I didn’t feel like it. I haven’t felt like it for the last few days. Okay, I get it.

This isn’t any different than me being very horny and bugging Mrs. Lion to get me off. It’s probably just as aggravating for me to pass up on the sexual activity. I know that Mrs. Lion isn’t saying that she expects me to ejaculate or get spanked. She is very happy teasing me and putting off ejaculation. Apparently, she is not that happy about this lack of interest in any sexual activity.

It may be that a corrective spanking will revive my interest in sex. She may have thought of that when she wrote her post. We both have come to realize that more frequent disciplinary spankings do us both good. I guess failing to become erect after reasonable stimulation makes sense as a new rule. A hard penis automatically cancels any objections I may have made about not being interested. My penis is the ultimate “interest meter”. Since I am always naked at home, she can check the meter anytime she wants.

I guess that since the normal male sexual state is horny, the concept of using orgasm control to insist on arousal hasn’t come up in the past. I admit it. I would’ve never thought of this. I think it’s a good idea. I also think that we both have a very good sense of when, after an orgasm, I can reasonably be expected to get turned on. This is currently the second day after I come. So, if I ejaculate on Wednesday I should be ready to be aroused on Friday.

From my point of view, it would be a good idea to establish some parameters. For one thing, it’s exciting to have this sort of rule. For another, it keeps both of us honest in terms of what is expected and what will happen if I don’t meet that expectation. I also think it is fair to require me to be able to get aroused when Mrs. Lion wishes on any day after that second day. Exceptions could be made for illness. I think it’s important to my mental health to make that the only acceptable excuse.

There are two possible outcomes from establishing this new rule: The first is that I will be much more actively interested in producing erections for Mrs. Lion. I will understand that there are no excuses because it’s late, etc. The second is that I will probably end up getting more frequent spankings. This is also good because we both agree that I need much more regular discipline. I wrote about this in my post, “Much More Than A Spanking“.

If Mrs. Lion spanks me immediately after deciding I wasn’t being responsive enough, it will set up an association for me. Also, if after spanking me she tries again, it should become interesting. If I can’t get hard after I am punished, does that mean I need to be punished again right then and there? Or, does it mean that I get a pass for the night? Mrs. Lion may have to experiment to decide which is better.

Meanwhile, her thinking moves us in a new direction. She is demanding proper “performance” sexually as well as behaviorally. This could be interesting.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

There is no question that I’m fond of my penis. I think most guys feel the same way. Females seem less obsessed with their principal sexual organs. I think that may be why things like male chastity don’t really occur to them. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion privately shook her head in amazement when I asked her to lock up my penis. She knew how much I liked it and had to wonder what I could possibly be thinking about when I asked her to take it away from me.

That’s the thing. When I thought about my penis being locked in a chastity device and Mrs. Lion holding the only key, I got aroused. Hell, I still get aroused. This has to top the list of completely confusing ideas. Here I am craving her touch or even mine, and yet I desperately want her to make it impossible for either of us to touch it.

Some people might think it’s so exciting because when Mrs. Lion locks up my penis, she takes control of it. The idea of surrendering control has always been hot. Bondage has always turned me on as well. So, thinking about my penis existing in a cage that I can’t unlock is probably the ultimate expression of surrendering control and being in 24/7 bondage. In a way, it’s the ultimate male BDSM game.

That makes sense in a kind of perverted way. I don’t think it would have been very much fun if Mrs. Lion simply locked me up and then did nothing more. When I asked for male chastity, I wasn’t asking to permanently end enjoying sex. I was asking to be put on a sex diet. Like a food diet, the sex diet restricts the amount of sexual pleasure. Just like a food diet, a sex diet left me hungry and unsatisfied between “meals”. To make sure that I remember what I’m missing, Mrs. Lion would unlock me and edge me almost every day. I was almost always “hungry”.

I don’t think either of us planned it, but over time I learned to be satisfied with less. I am not saying that I stopped wanting sex. I just learned that I could be quite happy with regular edging. Fortunately for me, Mrs. Lion likes it when I ejaculate. She likes the taste of semen. I’m always very happy to provide that for her.

Making me wait a long time for ejaculation was never part of my fantasy. I just liked surrendering sexual control. I think that there is a tendency for women to simplify the way male sexuality works. After all, males are very direct and to the point. That doesn’t mean there aren’t subtle processes work behind the scenes. For example, a surprisingly large percentage of men find it difficult to initiate sex. I certainly suffered from that. Losing control of my penis also meant there would be no reason why I would need to initiate. I can’t initiate if my cock is locked in a little cage.

I can’t deny that relieving myself of this responsibility was one of my motives. I think that my inability to initiate may be one of the main reasons Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex. I think she needs a man to strongly initiate activities. I feel quite guilty about this. It’s way too late to do anything about it, of course. It’s hard not to feel badly that maybe by curing my sexual needs, I damaged hers.

Some of the women who write about locking up their men like to say that a man doesn’t really need more than one orgasm every 7 to 10 days. Somehow they divined that this is the physiological and psychological optimum sexual frequency for the human male. For whatever reason, this seems to be the frequency Mrs. Lion prefers for me. I don’t think it’s optimum. I don’t think there is any optimum interval between male orgasms.

For a male in chastity, the interval has to be long enough for him to feel the control of his keyholder. That’s how he knows he’s on a sexual diet. I wonder how much sex I have to lose before I can get off of it. Just kidding, Mrs. Lion.

By:
In: Chastity device fitting, Chastity hardware, Lion's Journal

Every so often I read a post by a guy who wears a chastity device. Sometimes he talks about how he had it sized. Many full-time chastity device wearers have custom-made devices. It’s just more comfortable if you live in the device.

I always assumed there was only one “right” way to size chastity devices. Every manufacturer makes a big deal out of getting measurements of a totally flaccid penis. I’ve written endlessly about how important it is to make sure the device isn’t too long. Over the years I’ve discovered that a short cage keeps my urethra properly centered at the tip of the device. That’s important because a properly centered penis with the head firmly in contact with the end of the cage assures neat, stand-up peeing.

This molded-in ring at the front of the shaft cage effectively traps the penis head in front of it.

The cage makers, including the off-the-shelf guys, now agree with this concept. Short and very short cages (1 inch in length) are readily available. A couple, most notably the Evotion Wearables Orion, have a molded-in ring situated just behind the head of the penis that “locks” the head in place. This design makes overall shaft length less critical.

Having said all this about going small, the shaft and head diameters have to be accurately measured. There is no risk or discomfort in compressing the length of a penis. Compressing the width can reduce circulation and lead to edema.

It turns out that some guys have a completely different idea about sizing their male chastity devices. Some order them slightly too long. This allows an erection to start. His keyholder can see this. She likes seeing it trying to grow.

Others order the device with measurements of a complete erection. They want to feel the full effect of arousal with no way to get off. This is pretty impractical for most. If the device is a solid tube, it will probably fill with urine when peeing. This can be prevented by locking the device on with a Prince Albert piercing. This will force the head of the penis into the top of the tube regardless of erectile state.

An open cage design like the Jail Bird probably allows too much access to an erection. Devices like this need a flaccid penis to work correctly.

lion wearing the heart on chastity device
Here I am wearing the Heart-On male chastity device. It encapsulates my cock and balls.

There is a small-but-growing number of men who want a device that locks up more than just the penis. They want their entire package under lock and key. Before 3D printing, it was very difficult to make such a device. Steel devices are just too heavy to be practical.

I reviewed the Heart On device. It’s a full-coverage plastic chastity device. It’s a clever design and works well. It isn’t very attractive visually. It looks like an egg was grafted over my junk. Still, it is lightweight and secure. I was able to wear it for days with no problems.

orion side view
Evotion’s Orion male chastity device. Unique in design and a dream to wear.

My current favorite chastity device is the Orion made by Evotion Wearables. It’s supremely comfortable and secure. It allows me to stand and pee 100% of the time. It’s incredibly small and light. It is undetectable under clothing. You can read my review here.

The more traditional manufacturers may need to take a look at some of these newer innovations. The built-in ring that goes below the glans is a fantastic way to keep the head up front and centered. As far as I’m concerned, this is a real chastity game changer.