crystal ball

For some time now I’ve been wild (no chastity device). Even so, my rules continue to be enforced. I don’t masturbate. Recently, I’ve been considering why I would or wouldn’t be locked into a chastity device now that nearly five years of conditioning has trained me to behave as though I am wearing one, even when I’m not.

There’s no simple way to understand the influence the device has had on both of us. Just as I’ve been trained to avoid getting myself off, Mrs. Lion has learned to be consistent in her role as my keyholder and disciplining wife. Between enforced male chastity and our blog, we have changed our physical relationship drastically.

Mrs. Lion has always been spontaneous about when I get to ejaculate. She often decides if I will come or not after she has started teasing me. She’s said that she prefers this to a schedule. I’m fine with that. I do tend to get more orgasms this way. As far as I can tell, this hasn’t damaged any other part of our relationship.

Since my shoulder surgery Mrs. Lion has narrowed her BDSM focus. Panties, diapers, dildos, and visits to our dungeon have virtually disappeared. I think the reason is that Mrs. Lion lets me decide if I want “play” or not. That’s a very clear acknowledgement that BDSM is just for me. She likes to make me happy, but putting me into panties or diapers doesn’t affect her. So, if I don’t want to do it, she’s happy to go along. The same is true of play spankings and anal training.She knows I find things up my ass uncomfortable. So why use the time and energy if I’m not having fun?

This isn’t intended as a criticism. It’s an observation. Should Mrs. Lion do things she knows I don’t like, when she doesn’t have any fun doing them? This applies to the chastity device, play spanking, anal activities, and bondage. I haven’t written about any of these things in a long time. Mrs. Lion has no hints from me that I want to be “forced” to accept these things. I think that’s because I know full well that if I write, for example, about pegging, Mrs. Lion may well take that a veiled request for her to do it to me.

We both know that our blog posts provide input and feedback to one another. I’ve intentionally stayed away from wistful comments about BDSM activities. I’m ambivalent about having the ability to “remind” Mrs. Lion of something I want.

For one thing, I may not really want it when the time comes from it to happen. For another, I’m resistant to the idea that I can plan any of these activities. I also don’t like that I can stop one that is bothering me. Most notorious are the dreaded diapers. I really hate wearing them after a while. Mrs. Lion has always been kind enough to let me out of them when I ask. Should she do that?

In one sense I think she should. I am relieved and feel so much better when I can escape a hot, wet diaper. But in another, I am reminded that I only have to wear one when I want to. While at the time, I am happy, ultimately I am disappointed that I have so much control. This isn’t a matter of Mrs. Lion surrendering power to me. It’s more that I know that the only one getting anything out of the experience is me. My wish to submit is being indulged because Mrs. Lion wants me to be happy.

Ultimately, this is true. I know that. But I’ve never been a fan of dominance as a service. I prefer losing control and being forced to go past the point I am having sexual fun by submitting. I know that Mrs. Lion isn’t even amused by my plight when she diapers me or puts me in panties. I doubt any woman really finds that fun. We men like to think that our partners are turned on by our humiliation and discomfort. I know a lot of dominant women. Not one has ever agreed it is sexual fun to see her man in panties. However, that isn’t to say it isn’t fun to see him in an uncomfortable predicament.

I think the dominant side of BDSM is more of an intellectual exercise than an emotional one. From my own experience, I know that I got pleasure out of pushing the envelope with my partner. The best examples are anal play and play spanking. It was fun for me to watch “progress” as she could manage larger and larger dildos, for example.

It was also fun to be successful in “training”. An example of my training its the drastic reduction of the number of times I spill food on my shirt. I’ve been trained to be vary careful about that. I’ve also been trained to always wait for Mrs. Lion to eat first or give me permission to eat. I don’t know if she enjoys her success, but it is tangible evidence of her skill in domination. It surprises me that I am trained. But I have to admit that I am. I don’t even think about it. I just do what she has trained me to do.

I wonder if she thinks about this. Is it enough fun to want me to learn other things? I also wonder if the chastity device wasn’t a reminder to “make” me do other things that she knows I find arousing, but hate when they happen to me. I’m not asking for more of this stuff as much as asking how she thinks and feels about these activities, particularly training.

There’s always a temptation to try to make money from a blog. I’m sure you’ve seen sites that promote books, stories, and pictures for sale. This is the tried-and-true revenue generator for otherwise free sites. There’s nothing implicitly wrong with this idea. I’ve noticed that the same information that is being sold is often available free on other sites.

A different revenue source is commissions. Very often, when links are provided to products discussed in a post, it is special and if you buy, the blogger gets a cut of what you spend. You don’t spend more for the product. The commission is paid by the people selling the product. This is fine as long as the review of the item is honest.

Sometimes, you will see a blogger talk about how great a product is to do something that common sense says isn’t possible. One blogger is touting pills that make male orgasms more intense and produce more semen.

This is a topic of some interest to me. My semen production is poor. I’ve done a lot of research on the topic. According to reputable sources, nothing will substantially change this; certainly not an herbal pill. Some people say they do get results from these pills. Maybe they do, but the evidence suggests the pills are a waste of money. Worse, every so often a blogger will claim personal success at the same time he publishes a commission-producing ad for the product. That smells really bad to me.

We don’t carry ads and never accept a commission for the sale of any product we discuss here on the blog. Any links I provide to a source contains nothing that would result in money coming back to me. The Journal produces no income. In fact, it costs us quite a bit to publish

The reason I’m posting about this is that I’ve come across at least one case where someone is making money claiming an herbal orgasm/semen enhancer works. My research suggests it doesn’t. I wish it or some thing else would. I’d take it myself.

Penis extending or semen increasing remedies are very popular scams. Many of us wish we could do better in one or both of those areas. Legitimate drug companies have spent hundreds of millions of dollars looking for a way to do this. They’ve had no luck so far.

If you are considering one of the many products claiming to extend your boner or help you squirt buckets of semen, instead of reading claims from the seller, do some research. You can save a lot of money after a few Google searches.

Deciding on a male chastity device isn’t easy. The motive for wearing one is usually based on a desire to transfer sexual control to another person, the keyholder. Once the device is locked on, all sorts of hot things can happen. It’s ironic, but some of us get turned on by not being allowed to get aroused.

Go figure.

That’s not the only inherent contradiction embodied in male chastity. Take the device. It’s supposed to be an escape-proof vault that prevents erection and orgasm. Its wearer is only able to pee. Otherwise, the penis is useless unless released by the keyholder.

That’s the fantasy. Of course, male chastity is a consensual sport that is almost always initiated by the man. Women don’t generally spend a lot of time thinking about penises. If they do, it’s about how one can provide them with pleasure, not how to lock them up.

The idea of penis bondage is a male concept. Some women like the idea once it’s introduced to them, but it is unlikely they will be obsessed about the mechanism to do it. Mrs. Lion is happy using a short length of lightweight rope for the purpose. Concern about the hardware is on me alone.

Guys with experience, or newbies who take the time to do some research, discover that practical devices for male chastity aren’t inescapable prisons. In fact, the general solution to caging a penis is a tube or cage connected to a ring around the penis and balls. The ring has to be small enough to prevent a ball from slipping out if is worn without the cage. Any smaller is asking for discomfort.

.Please note that I didn’t say tight enough to make escape impossible. A lot of guys, even men who should know better, keep trying tighter and tighter base rings. At some point, they resort to lube to reduce the pain caused by the friction of a tight ring. Even with a scrotum-choking ring, escape is absolutely possible since the penis can be worked out without removing the ring.

That’s the thing. Any device held on by a band around cock and balls can be escaped. Devices can make the process very painful, but escape is still a possibility. A lot of pain and expense can be spared by just accepting this fact. Remember, you agreed to wear it. What’s the point of trying to get out?

Ironically, many guys look for the roomiest cage possible. The want a constricting base ring attached to a cage their penises swim in. I think this choice is the result of a anatomical misunderstanding. Most guys think about their penises when they are hard, or remember things that happened when they were aroused. A hard penis needs its space. It hurts to try to compress it too much. So, the reasoning goes, if a hard cock can be hurt by fencing it in, a soft one has a similar vulnerability.

To a large degree that’s not true. A soft weenie is very compressible. You can easily press the head and make it less than an inch long. You would be less successful squeezing the head to make it have a smaller diameter. The conclusion: a penis cage can be very short but needs to be wide enough to avoid too much squeezing .

From my experience, the most comfortable and erection-proof cages are very short, but wide enough to only compress the diameter by a quarter of an inch or so. My flaccid penis is about 2-1/2 inches in length most of the time. It can be much shorter after a cold dip in the pool, and quite a bit longer for no good reason.

I’ve discovered that those measurements have no real importance in fitting a chastity device. In my case, I’m very much at home in a cage measuring 1-1/4 inches in length. Your experience may vary. I would suggest that all but the most enormous cocks will live happily in a cage under two inches long.

My point is that fitting a chastity device is counter intuitive for most guys. Most important is comfort; least important, security. The base ring should be large enough for comfort without having a ball slip out when it is worn without the cage. The cage itself should be only slightly narrower in diameter than its occupant, but should be a lot shorter. A good gauge of length is the size after a nice, cold swim. You get the idea.

Try the idea out with an inexpensive, Chinese cage. Dhgate.com has lots of them. You may be surprised by how good it feels to go wide on the ring and short on the cage.

I’ve been thinking about wearing a chastity device. As Mrs. Lion said yesterday in her post, I won’t masturbate or stray. That eliminates the main reasons to lock my penis in a cage. At least it seems to. Wearing a chastity device is inconvenient for both of us. It makes peeing awkward at times. It requires Mrs. Lion to remove a lock or security screw for access to her weenie. Being wild makes things easier all around.

In the beginning, almost five years ago, I asked to be locked up. Mrs. Lion agreed because it was something I wanted. The cage re-energized our physical relationship. Now that the cage has been off for months now, we find that our sex life remains very active. There is one change. I get more frequent orgasms. My average wait is down almost two days from 2017. I don’t know if that is significant or attributable to my being wild.

All this looks like the need for physical restraint is gone. Maybe. One other thing has changed over the years: The decision of when or if I am caged has passed fully to Mrs. Lion. In the beginning, it was my choice. That evolved to it being all Mrs. Lion. That was the dream, after all.

It looks like that decision has returned to me. Mrs. Lion will cage me if I want. That makes my chastity device more like a sort of kinky clothing than a functional bondage device. Maybe that’s what it always was and I turned a blind eye toward that reality.

Now, after all these years I can’t ignore that fact. It’s not that I want to be forced into a cage again. It’s also not that I don’t. Mrs. Lion wrote that if I want to wear it on weekends, I can. That seems silly to me. I’ve worn that cage for years. There’s no particular thrill being caged from Friday night to Monday morning. That sort of sentence is for diapers, not a chastity device.

Mrs. Lion has avoided using enforced chastity as part of her punishment arsenal. Sex has always been separate. Similarly, she has refused to punish me by keeping my caged extra days. So, the chastity device doesn’t fit our BDSM play; at least up until now.

It’s something else. Has being wild taken something away from me? It’s possible it has. I still think about the hardware. I even bought an inexpensive Chinese cage that is only an inch long. I’ve been looking at Steelwerks devices. I’ve also been corresponding with a custom cage maker about product improvements.

Obviously, my interest in chastity devices is still very strong. I don’t like the idea of wearing a device as a piece of male jewelry. You may believe this is all a no-brainer. “Lock him up!” We get that reader feedback a lot. Maybe that’s what we should do.