By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Male chastity is a game that is increasing in popularity. The rules are simple: The man doesn’t get to ejaculate until his keyholder (partner) allows it. That’s it. Fini! Okay, most of us expand that a bit. To help assure that the male doesn’t “cheat” and masturbate when out of sight of his keyholder, he is often locked into a male chastity device. That usually isn’t the main reason he ends up in one.

orion side view
Evotion’s Orion male chastity device. Unique in design and a dream to wear. The only device we have that allows me to reliably pee standing up.

The concept of male chastity is a — wait for it — male idea. Very few, if any women think of preventing their partners’ orgasms for any length of time. There’s a good reason for this: Women generally lose interest in sex if they don’t have any for a while. The kind of sexual urgency that most men experience isn’t duplicated in women. That’s not to say that women don’t get really horny. Of course they do. Generally, it wouldn’t occur to a woman that stopping her from having orgasms would be a fun game.

I think wearing a chastity device is sexually exciting. The idea of being forced to abstain is very hot. Add to that a keyholder who unlocks me and brings me to the edge of orgasm over and over and then locks me up again, that’s amazing. The purpose of the chastity device is to heighten the feeling of helplessness. Wearing a device that is locked over your penis preventing erection and orgasm is a real trip.

Obviously, the various penis prisons aren’t escape-proof. One way or another it’s possible to defeat even the most secure device. The idea is to make it so difficult that it isn’t worth the trouble. More realistically, we males want to be locked up. What sense would it make to defeat the device that we find so cool and exciting?

Playing this chastity game for a long time does change things. Mrs. Lion and I have been doing it since December 2013. After three years of 24/7 device wear, I was conditioned to live under Mrs. Lion’s orgasm control. Even without a device I never masturbate. I haven’t gotten myself off since the day I was locked into a male chastity device.

At the moment I’m not wearing a device full time. Mrs. Lion locks me in one when she decides I need penis bondage. Locked or not, she is my only source of sexual release. She teases me nearly every day. She brings me to the brink over and over and then simply stops. I’m trained to keep my hands away. This goes on as long as she wants. Generally, she lets me ejaculate every 7 to 10 days. That seems to be right as far as she’s concerned.

Most people who play with male chastity don’t do it full time. It’s a game they play every so often. That’s fine. It’s a way of life for us. Even though wearing a chastity device isn’t strictly necessary, when she locks me into one, it is a nice reminder of her ability to turn a mental game into a physical one anytime she wants. Even though I find it tricky to pee when wearing a device, I like it a lot when she locks me up. I am in no danger of getting myself off, when locked up I can’t even get hard. That’s even more control.

I admit it. I love the hardware. At this point I don’t have an opinion about my male orgasm control. It’s so embedded in my life, I can’t imagine things any other way.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking

Yesterday in my post “Great Sex As We Age: Four-Step Foreplay” I talked about modifying both male and female foreplay to account for changes as we age. Even though I understand what’s happening, it still bothers me. I really can’t wrap my head around the fact that I need substantial warm up to be ready for sex. It just doesn’t feel fair.

Meanwhile, we continue to enjoy our adventurous sex life. I should really say my adventurous sex life. Mrs. Lion isn’t interested right now. I keep hoping I can find a way to get her back into the game. In the meantime, she has to work a lot harder to arouse me. I’m very grateful that she’s willing to put in the effort. It’s a truly altruistic act.

Even though it’s not directly sexual, our female led relationship is exciting to me. There are very real, painful penalties for failing to please my lioness. The penalties are meted out with Mrs. Lion’s paddles. It’s exciting to think about being spanked.

This is one of the more confusing aspects of a disciplinary relationship. Even though the rules and punishments are real, there is a sexual undercurrent. What we do isn’t power-play. It’s real punishment for real offenses. Nevertheless, it apparently provides sexual stimulation for me.

I’m carefully avoiding the labels, “dominant” and “submissive”. These suggest an oversimplification of a fairly complex process. I like to feel Mrs. Lion’s authority. It is deeply exciting to me. I’m not sure it’s an emotional necessity as much as a sexual one.

I don’t want to have sex after being punished. The spanking hurts a lot and I just want to go off and lick my wounds. Yet, the next time Mrs. Lion tries to arouse me it’s easier. Go figure!

maintenance spankings keep the sexual furnace burning

split rubber spanking paddle
I have no idea why I have a sexual connection to this. It hurts like hell and I try to avoid meeting it again, but if I don’t, my sex drive slows down.

We’ve come up with all sorts of rationalizations about why maintenance spanking is important. Other people have too. I think the actual bottom-line truth is that receiving punishment-level spanking flips some deep-seated sexual switches. I also think that for me the more severe the spanking the more satisfying it is on this deep level.

If my spanking makes my butt sore for days, the memory of each twinge is both sexual and instructive. This is complicated for me. I definitely work hard to avoid earning a spanking. The memory of how much it hurts is in my mind when I remember to set up the coffeepot or do other things Mrs. Lion has told me to do. I am actively working to avoid another spanking.

Yet if I don’t get what I’m avoiding on a regular basis, my sexual interest seems to drop off. Spanking me charges my sexual battery. Experience has taught me that a lighter, play spanking isn’t that effective. That deep, dark part of me wants it to hurt and hurt a lot. I want a maintenance spanking to hurt as much as one delivered to punish me.

That’s hard for me to admit. If in some way spanking provides me with sexual fuel, is it really a punishment?

I think it is.

Punishment hurts and it also turns me on

Just because I have a sexual connection to spanking, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t an effective punishment. My underlying attraction to it may be why I willingly get myself into position for a beating I will hate. It also may be why I accept it. Experience has shown us that punishing me does change my behavior. The change isn’t permanent. Eventually, I will slip and need a painful reminder.

I guess we both have to accept that our disciplinary activities operate on more than one level. P promptly spanking me for breaking a rule or annoying Mrs. Lion, makes me change. I also get much more interested in sex.

Mrs. Lion has always treated sex as completely separate from punishment. It doesn’t matter to her if I am turned on by my punishments. It’s just helpful to her when she wants to arouse me later. It would be a problem if the spanking didn’t correct the offense.

It’s a little hard for me to understand how something so unpleasant ultimately turns me on. I think Mrs. Lion has known about this for a long time. If I’ve been a good boy for too long, a maintenance spanking will recharge my sexual battery without affecting our disciplinary relationship.

We’ve agreed that if I break a rule soon after the maintenance spanking, I get a punishment spanking as severe as usual. Just because my butt may be marked by a spanking, it doesn’t stop Mrs. Lion from punishing me again even if it’s only an hour after my last spanking. She sees it as my problem for not being more careful. I agree.

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

Sex changes as we age. The changes are often so gradual that we don’t notice them until they reach a point that sex stops working the way we expect. A few small changes in technique can keep things boiling hot.

Most guys have heard a lot about how women need more foreplay. As they age, they need more and more. That’s no surprise. Ladies, men might not realize it, but they also need more foreplay too.

for the ladies

Before, and especially after menopause, women produce less vaginal lubrication. It’s this natural lube that makes intercourse comfortable for her. The common technique to correct this is for the woman to lube her outer and inner labia, plus put some lube into her vagina before sex.

This is probably not very sexy for her. It does work to make intercourse more comfortable, but probably not much to make it more fun.

Try making the lube process part of foreplay. The man can do that in a way that makes everything feel natural Here’s how:

  1. Begin with traditional foreplay that doesn’t involve her genitals. Kiss her, play with her nipples, rub her thighs. You get the idea. Do everything that gets a woman hot except going near her pussy.
  2. She will enjoy this. It gets her body to give you permission to go to her pussy. Take a good quality, water-based lube, and put it on one finger. Kiss her while you do this. You want her to be unaware of the lube.
  3. Take the lubed finger and gently massage her clitoris. Start out with a very light touch, slowly moving your finger in a circular motion. Her breathing will change. Keep this up longer than you think you should. This clitoral massage is not only arousing her, it signals her body to prepare for you to enter her. It may even let her produce some natural lubrication. That isn’t important. What is important is that her vaginal muscles will relax in preparation for your penis.
  4. Stop massaging her clitoris and lube two fingers liberally. move them up and down over her vulva working your way to her vagina. She may arch up to meet your fingers.
    Get some more lube and slowly insert the two fingers into her vagina. Take your time. She will probably help you. Once in, move your fingers in and out and slowly fuck her with your fingers. She’s ready for you now.

For Him

Many women believe a man needs no more than an erection to be ready for sex. This is technically true but many men, as they age, find it impossible to maintain the erection once inside their partners. This can be very disturbing to the male mind. It certainly upset me when it happened. Improved male foreplay along with a change in sexual position can go a long way to solve this problem.

  1. Don’t let his apparent desire to “go to it” fool you. A sixty-year-old man is still 20 in his mind. He expects his penis to perform the same way it did when he was much younger. Insist that he let you take your time getting him ready. He should get you ready first. You will probably be fully set to accept him once you properly prepare him. Don’t let him rush you.
  2. Take your time and massage his penis. Once he is fully erect, he will probably be worrying that if you keep stimulating him he will ejaculate. If you see that he is close, stop and spend some time on his balls. You want him very aroused.
  3. Even if he was on the brink of ejaculating, wait and then stimulate him again, Just don’t let him come. You want him desperate for release.
  4. He’s ready for entry. An excellent position is for you on top, facing his head. This is the cowgirl position. It is considered the best sexual position for female orgasm. It is also one of the least stimulating for the male. That’s why it wasn’t too important if he got to the edge.

Ride him cowgirl

This technique for foreplay isn’t foolproof. We are all different. The key is to get to know each other as you change over the years. This four-step foreplay program allows you to adjust the stimulation as needed. Using your hands extensively first gives you feedback that will make you a much better lover.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

In her post yesterday”The Pseudo-Stereotypical Marriage” Mrs. Lion discussed Friday night’s inability to get hard. That was a surprise to me. It’s a subject that I would rather not discuss. But as they say on courtroom shows, she opened the door. I guess I have to step through it.

She’s right. I just couldn’t get hard. That’s happened occasionally in the past. This time, before trying to get me hard, Mrs. Lion lassoed and tied up my balls. This is usually a surefire way to get my motor running. Nothing. I don’t get it. [Mrs. Lion — I did realize after I tied him up that I should have tried to get him hard first.]

It’s been more than a week since I’ve been spanked. I would think that’s a good thing. Maybe I miss it. I certainly don’t have a good time while Mrs. Lion is beating my butt. Apparently, other parts of me do.

Before we go out and test this theory I hope Mrs. Lion will give me another chance. Of course, if it turns out that I need a regular spanking, Mrs. Lion is certainly up to the task and doesn’t mind delivering.

Times like this are always difficult. I start wondering if I am broken. I certainly hope not. Aside from being really big fun, sex, including Mrs. Lion’s teasing, is a wonderful way to bring us closer. I suppose our domestic discipline is too. Both involve physical contact.

I haven’t checked my spreadsheet, but I’m sure it’s been more than three days since my last orgasm. There’s been no teasing since then. That means I haven’t had an erection.

Before getting in any deeper, I’ll just wait and see what happens. One way or another things will work out. Wouldn’t it be ironic if my butt had to be red before my cock would stand up?

On Friday Mrs. Lion didn’t try extreme (oral) methods to get me hard. It might be that her mouth could be just as effective as her paddle. That would give her a choice.

Maybe I’m overthinking. Perhaps I was too tired or my allergy pills affected me in a new way. I’m sure Mrs. Lion will keep you posted. I’m not sure I will.