Mrs. Lion hates it when I suggest what she “should” do. In my post yesterday, “Get Hard Or Else“, I responded to her post of the day before, “Communicate or be Spanked” where she suggested that on nights I don’t want play or get teased sexually, I might be spanked unless I had a good reason. I suggested that maybe this could be a less squishy rule that required me to get hard when she wanted.
I’m not trying to defend the fact I elaborated. I just want to avoid a trap we seem to fall into: When a rule is subjective like spanked for annoying Mrs. Lion, it doesn’t seem to get enforced. When the rule is concrete like, set up the coffeepot every day, Mrs. Lion is excellent in observing an infraction and punishing it. That’s why I tried to make her subjective concept into a more concrete one.
We both decided that there wasn’t enough spanking going on here. That may sound odd coming from me, but we both can all-too-easily stop something if we don’t consistently practice it. The maintenance spanking I got last Tuesday didn’t have the same effect on either of us that punishment has. We agreed to find more opportunities for me to earn a spanking. We both realize that the disciplinary part of our marriage has value for us that we don’t want to lose.
Given that, it seemed to me we could have a concrete easy-to-spot rule that would provide us with opportunities for more spanking. It also would take advantage of the connection I have with spanking and sex. That’s the reason for my proposal.
I suppose that means I want more spanking. I do, but it isn’t that simple. Mrs. Lion is willing to spank me if I ask her. Those “play” spankings have a very different feel. It may be because we both know I requested it. That puts me in control. That may also be the problem with maintenance spankings. I don’t earn them.
It is a very different feeling when I am to be spanked for breaking a rule. I feel a total loss of control as well as remorse for doing something wrong. I think Mrs. Lion also approaches it differently. She means business and wants me to learn something. She knows that if she doesn’t make a very strong, hopefully-lasting impression I won’t change.
This is where a sexual rule becomes tricky for her. Sex is for me. Mrs. Lion reasons that if I don’t want sex, there is no reason for her to impose it on me. That’s logically sound. Up until now, I’ve thought about orgasm control as Mrs. Lion preventing me from having orgasms unless she decides to give me one. It’s the basis for male chastity. In that sense, me not wanting sex is fine. It’s less work for my lioness.
When Mrs. Lion wrote about expecting me to want to play unless I had a good reason not to, I realized that orgasm control and male chastity has a flip side. If I’m not allowed to ejaculate without permission, shouldn’t any sexual response also be under her control? If she wants me to get hard and she is in control, shouldn’t I? If she wants me to pick a card from the Box O’Fun and then get what’s written on it, shouldn’t that happen?
After her post, I realized that it should. Preventing orgasm is pretty easy. She can lock my penis in a male chastity device or rely on my training to assure I won’t ejaculate without her making me. A much more interesting concept for me, at least, is the idea that if she wants me aroused, shouldn’t I obey?
I’ve reached a point when sometimes I’m not in the mood for sex. Recently, that’s happened frequently. It would be too easy to let me control when I get hard. In a way, it is the same as me deciding when I get spanked. It might work for some, but I don’t think it works for me.
My suggested rule may not work well either. I’m sure that in the beginning, I will get frequent spankings. That’s not a bad thing. I believe that punishing me for failing to be aroused will have the same effect that punishing me for spilling on my shirt had. I stopped spilling on my shirt. Wouldn’t that be a great outcome?