By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

When I first read about male chastity in the 1990’s I have to admit that I was a bit turned on and also put off. Everything I read talked about strict keyholders and long deprivation. It was extreme submission expressed via a device that locks up the penis.

I understand that some guys love these fantasies. It’s ironic because they use them as fodder for jerking off. Read about never ejaculating while you bring yourself to orgasm. Go figure. I liked the idea of being sexually controlled. It didn’t turn me on imagining extreme scenarios.

Those stories eventually piqued my curiosity enough to investigate actually wearing one. I had started a website that reviewed sex toys and decided to branch out into male chastity. I began contacting people who made chastity devices. There weren’t many. Most were happy to send me a device to review. This isn’t the story of those reviews.

If the device didn’t injure me right off the bat — a surprisingly large number did — I wore it for a few days. I didn’t find myself sexually aroused by the confinement. I was mostly annoyed by the challenges the crude chastity devices presented to me. None of them were particularly comfortable. I suppose that wouldn’t have been an issue if I found some inner arousal because I was locked up.

Of course, I was locking myself up. I just couldn’t get into the fantasy that I had a keyholder. I didn’t look for one because the entire idea of male chastity wasn’t all that overwhelmingly interesting to me at the time. Nevertheless, I had fun trying the devices and reviewing them.

Over a decade later I discovered my secret sauce. My sex life had gone down the tubes. Mrs. Lion had lost interest in sex. We hadn’t discussed it, but she didn’t display any interest in sex. I’ve always been rather shy about initiating sex. I think it comes from a very serious fear of rejection. I’ve missed countless opportunities for sex thanks to this fear. A woman would have to almost ask me to fuck her before I would be brave enough to pick up the ball, so to speak.

That meant I always waited for Mrs. Lion to make the first move. I hated that I couldn’t bring myself to do it even with her. She made less and less first moves. It ended up with her jerking me off or giving me a very-rare blow job about once a month. This was my worst sexual nightmare. I still couldn’t turn it around on my own. I was withdrawing and felt very depressed.

One day I stumbled upon cheap male chastity devices on amazon.com. I had no idea that there were cheap devices and that Amazon actually sold sex stuff. I felt that old chastity tingle. Since I had a lot of experience with chastity devices from the old days, I looked for some that might fit me. I ordered a couple.

When they arrived, I excitedly tried them on. It was very cool to feel them restraining my cock. Neither fit well enough to wear for more than an hour or two. Besides, I didn’t want Mrs. Lion to know about them. I ordered two more. One of the new batch fit pretty well. I decided to tell Mrs. Lion what I was thinking about.

I had been reading whatever I could find on the Web. Most were worthless, but I got some ideas about talking to her about male chastity. It took a lot of effort to bring up the subject. After all, it was S-E-X. I proposed locking me up. I explained that I thought she could tease me often, but only let me ejaculate once in a while. She agreed. There are tons of posts from 2014 about how this got going.

a sneaky way to get sex (for me at least) going

My reasoning was that if Mrs. Lion had the only keys, she would need to remember to provide me with sexual stimulation. It was a somewhat sneaky way to transfer sexual initiation to her. She agreed because she loves me and wants me to be happy. I don’t know if she read the subtext at that time.

As it turned out, she wasn’t very interested in sex for herself. Male chastity allowed her to keep me sexually satisfied without pushing her into sexual activities she didn’t want. Over time, I missed the fucking and she missed me initiating sex. Thanks to the blog,  we wrote about these feelings. We tried and failed to bring two-person sex back. I tried initiating; it was so hard. Mrs. Lion responded a little, but apparently her pilot light was out.

Male orgasm control became the only sexual activities we share. I am forbidden to masturbate, so I am at the mercy of Mrs. Lion for any sexual pleasure. We both learned to like this. It mostly satisfies my continuing need for sex. I still miss fucking. I really miss giving Mrs. Lion orgasms. But that doesn’t mean I am not having fun. I worry that there is nothing in it for her.

The entire point of all this is that male chastity is the secret sauce of our sex life. Most recently, Mrs. Lion discovered that if I wear a male chastity device, I am more responsive when she takes it off. It isn’t because I secretly jerk off when I am wild. I don’t know why this is true, but it is. For this reason, I am permanently locked up again. At least that’s what she says. Love that secret sauce!

the brand new lioness box o’fun

After Mrs. Lion previewed my post, we went off to run some errands. I asked her what she thought of my post, particularly about my problem with initiating and sex for her. She said that she sort of knew about why I wanted to be locked up.

I asked her about sex for her. On a few occasions I’ve given her some orgasms. I asked how she liked them? She said that she enjoyed them but she didn’t feel that she wanted to go out of her way to get more.

cowgirl position
This is cowgirl position. It’s most successful for giving Mrs. Lion orgasms.

It sounds like the old iniitiation issue. I had an idea. We use the Box O’Fun to jump start BDSM for me, why not create a lioness Box O’Fun with orgasmic activities for her? We could have cards for oral sex, finger fun, and lion riding for starters.

Lion riding in the old days was when Mrs. Lion mounted me cowgirl style. This position has the best chance of getting her an orgasm and is very likely not to allow me to have one. More recently. we she’s mounted me reverse cowgirl where she faces my feet. This position will get me off, but not her.

reverse cowgirl
Reverse cowgirl. In this position it is easy for me to come, but difficult for Mrs. Lion.

I suggested we go back to cowgirl. In the past if she decided she was done riding my cock, she would slide forward and I would continue with my tongue. I love that! Since an orgasm for me isn’t part of any of this, she could have a great time. Her Box O’Fun contains 6 Oral, 4 Finger, and 2 Cowgirl cards. This covers what I think she will enjoy. She still insists it’s for my pleasure. We’ll see.

Mrs. lion wondered if picking from the lioness Box O’Fun would be enough to get me going for teasing? Oh yeah, it would! Now we have to get going. I know us, if we don’t start right away, we may never begin. I’ll make sure we have it going before we leave on vacation.

Yum!

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

According to Mrs. Lion, The Cage Is Here To Stay. I admit that I was surprised by her post yesterday. I wasn’t surprised by her conclusion that I am more interested in sex when I wear a male chastity device. I knew that. What surprised me was how much she dislikes putting it on and taking it off. I know she isn’t alone feeling this way.

penis pulled back into evotion chastity device
Once the shaft section is locked to the base ring, the penis has to be pulled back so only the glans sticks out. Mrs. Lion locks the shaft section on and I pull back my penis. She lubes the shaft before she locks the section on. This makes it easier to pull the penis back.

Many keyholders let their caged males remove and put on their own chastity devices. We never did that. Both of us agreed from the start that part of Mrs. Lion’s control is that she and she alone handle the keys. I do help her putting devices on me. It is my job to thread my cock and balls through the base ring. She takes over after that. In the case of the Evotion cage, once she locks the shaft cover in place, I pull my penis back so only the glans protrudes. Usually, there is quite a bit of penis sticking out of the shaft cover. Pulling the penis back isn’t easy. Once I have just the glans protruding she locks the glans cover in place.

I’m not sure that I can do this for myself. Mrs. Lion works pretty hard to get the pieces together and then make the locks work. It isn’t a smooth process. I can’t really see the places the two locks are inserted.

The Jail bird is even more frustrating

jail bird on lion's penis
To lock the Jail Bird, the cage’s hollow shaft receiver has to be aligned precisely with the threaded hole in the base ring shaft. There are no guides or stops to help with this process.

Of the two main chastity devices we own, the Mature Metal Jail Bird and the Evotion, the latter is easier to lock on. Our Jail Bird works with a security screw. To lock the cage to the base ring, threaded holes in the base ring shaft have to be precisely lined up with the holes in the cage (see photo, left). Performing this task is impossible for me. It takes Mrs. Lion a lot of effort to align and thread the security screw in place.

Another possibility is the Heart-On full coverage device. This one is very different from any other device I have worn. It completely contains my penis and balls. Once on, my genitals are gone. I like the idea of a full coverage device. This one may be larger than needed. I’m not at all sure how Mrs. Lion feels about how this looks on me.

heart on fitting details
The Heart On full coverage device has a rear piece that fits like a standard base ring. The cover has a penis guide ring and hinge. This was easy for Mrs. Lion once she figured it out.

Getting it on is easier than the other devices. First, the base plate is threaded over my cock and balls (Top of image, right). Then the black ring is threaded over my penis. It disconnects from the outer shell, so putting it on is easy. Then the outer shell hinge snaps into place, the black ring fits into its socket, and the outer shell is pushed up and locked in place. Mrs. Lion had very little trouble with this device.

Bathing turned out to be easy and I had no trouble staying clean. I used a squeeze bottle with a long, narrow spout to get liquid soap inside. Then I used my showerhead to rinse.

lion wearing the heart on chastity device
Here I am wearing the Heart On full coverage device. I think that it looks like I don’t have genitals. It’s pretty humiliating!

I rejected the idea of full coverage after testing the Heart On, not because it wasn’t comfortable and secure. It was. I think it had more to do with how I felt about losing all contact with my genitals. The color is rather humiliating too. But then, I like humiliation.

I’m still not sure how I feel about “losing” both cock and balls to a device like this. In a real sense, it is a purer form of male chastity. I lose all contact with my genitals. I can’t even see them. The device is invisible under clothing. That pink blob barely makes a bulge under my pants. I’m not sure if Mrs. Lion likes seeing my balls. If she does, this device won’t work for her.

After Mrs. Lion previewed this post she said that she didn’t like how I look when I wear the Heart On. I guess seeing your lion with his cock and balls replaced with a pink blob is too much. It turns out that isn’t the reason at all. Mrs. Lion went to the Nintendo website and showed me a picture of Kirby, a Nintendo character. Laughing, she said that is why. See for yourself (below).

heart on chastity device and nintendo kirby
I’m on the left. Nintendo’s Kirby is on the right.This is the reason Mrs. Lion objected to me wearing the Heart On chastity device.

She’s written that the only reason she still locks me in a male chastity device is that my apparent love of bondage makes me a lot easier to arouse when I am unlocked. There’s no question that she’s right about me being much easier to arouse. I’m not sure the reason is my love of bondage.

She also wrote that she has always taken me out of my chastity device when we travel. The reason for this is that I had a tough time peeing straight when wearing the Jail Bird. I don’t have this problem with either the Evotion or Heart On.

If you are interested in more information, here are links to my reviews of these products:

Mature Metal Jail Bird
Heart On Full Coverage Device
Evotion Wearables Orion

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Female led relationship with discipline

I forgot to set up the coffeepot on Thursday. Friday morning, Mrs. Lion came into the bedroom, and somewhat-gleefully told me that I didn’t set up the coffeepot. She likes catching me breaking rules. The conversation didn’t go further. We both know what that means.

It seems a little strange to me that my only spankable offense in over two weeks is forgetting a chore. If it is, I’ve managed not to piss off my lioness except for the whining-to-wear-a-chastity-device incident. Apparently that didn’t rise to the level of butt burning and instead, earned me 24 extra in-cage hours of no sexual activity.

For the record, I’m not happy about earning a spanking. While I am turned on by the thought of being spanked, I know I will hate being punished. I’m a little bothered by the fact that Mrs. Lion still seems to be having trouble “catching” me annoying her. Since I know that she loves spotting me breaking rules, something must be going on.

We agreed that she would punish me for my smallest behavioral errors. We know that this is necessary for her to establish a disciplinary habit. This nit-picking technique taught her to be a totally consistent disciplinarian when it comes to the concrete, external rules like forgetting to set up the coffeepot. She got to this point by a combination of conscious observation and reminders from me when I realized I did something wrong.

Since the new challenge is somewhat subjective, it’s hard for me to help her. On the other hand, I think she notices infractions but writes them off as not worth the energy to spank me. We talked about this too. I suggested that she needn’t spank me then and there. She could put it off the same way she delays rule-breaking punishment to a more convenient time. She agreed.

I don’t think that’s the challenge she faces. It may have to do with believing she deserves the level of respect that spanking me for annoying her implies. I want her to correct me. I think it will help both of us. I will learn to be more aware of how I affect her. She will have a way to wipe the slate clean. By not letting me know when I annoy her, she has to either stuff the negative feelings or let my behavior feed a negative self-image.

When she stuffs those feelings, eventually they leak out in ways that aren’t good for either of us. On the other hand, by punishing me each time I offend, there is no stuffing of feelings and I get an opportunity to improve. We have a long history that shows spanking me changes my behavior. It may seem odd that I am advocating behavior that will result in me getting punished. It’s the way we started domestic discipline. It was my idea.

While punishment has evolved to a point that I genuinely hate it, the results of our disciplinary relationship are undeniable. We are both happier and when we had to suspend it, we both felt the loss. What may have started out of a fantasy of mine, has evolved into a powerful, positive force for both of us.

Punishing me for upsetting Mrs. Lion is a giant step. I don’t want to minimize it. Mrs. Lion had a hard time learning to spank me severely enough to turn the experience into something I absolutely hate. We both recognize that this is necessary for it to help me change. Any less is more a BDSM experience.

We have definitely reached that point. Mrs. Lion has also learned to feel neutral about hurting me. In earlier days it bothered her to be causing me more pain than I “want”. She had given me many BDSM spankings that made me yelp and bruised me. But she was careful to keep the intensity within what I wanted.

The transition to spankings that don’t take into account whether I am enjoying them was very challenging. Now, she decides when to end a beating. She says she bases her decision on the color of my butt. She completely disregards my screams and complaints. Spanking is real punishment.

I’m confident that it won’t be long before I regret writing posts like this. There will be many days when I will wish I left well enough alone. There will be a lot more when I will be grateful we have this very important channel of communication open.

By:
In: Punishment, Lion's Journal, Sex

When we began male chastity, I wrote about how a keyholder could handle difficult situations with her caged male. The obvious answer at the time was to stop playing the male chastity game. After all, it is a game initiated by men to make sex more exciting. Right?

That made a lot of sense seven years ago. I don’t think it does now. With or without a chastity device Mrs. Lion controls sex for me. I am forbidden to masturbate, so she is the sole source of sexual pleasure for me. Over the years, we have established a pattern for my sexual activities. Essentially, I am teased to the edge of orgasm almost every day. When Mrs. Lion decides I should ejaculate she makes me come. It’s simple and works for us. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself, so her sexual needs aren’t part of the process.

A little while ago I asked what would happen if I decided to jerk off? It was an academic question since with or without a male chastity device I haven’t done that since December 2013. I was curious about how Mrs. Lion would react. Several years ago I posed the same question. She responded by saying that she considered me masturbating in the same category as fucking another woman. She implied that she would end our marriage if I cheated.

At the time she didn’t confirm or deny either assumption. Later, she said that jerking off was not as serious as cheating. It still left how she would react to the open question. When I brought it up again recently, she responded that if I jerk off, she would end male chastity. I asked her to elaborate since orgasm control is our only sexual activity. She responded that she wouldn’t edge me anymore and would just get me off.

Since the only sex we had before male chastity was monthly handjobs, I wondered if that was what she was thinking. She said it wasn’t. She said we would cuddle and she would get me off. Ever since she responded this way, it has been on my mind.

It isn’t that I am worried that I will suddenly decide to jerk off. That really isn’t the issue at all. The real problem I have is that Mrs. Lion doesn’t seem to realize how important our male chastity has become to our relationship. Sure, at one time the threat of ending it would be a frightening consequence for doing something wrong. We both could clearly see what life would be like if I couldn’t wear a chastity device. It would be a very serious punishment for me to lose this great, sexy game.

Now it isn’t a game. Stopping it would disrupt our relationship. Without male chastity and orgasm control, we have no sex life. We started all this because of a sexual chasm that had opened between us. Because Mrs. Lion had lost all interest in sex for herself, there was no biological need for her to think about sex for me. Essentially, she forgot I needed sex.

Male chastity built a bridge across that chasm. It was an intellectual exercise coupled with my need for sex that allowed us to have an active sex life that worked for our marriage. Over the years this has been refined and has become an organic part of our relationship.

Ending it would hurt me. It would probably drive me into masturbating regularly to try to replace what I lost. It would also anger me. I can’t pretend that the same resentment I felt when I was getting monthly handjobs won’t return. It would be less of a punishment than a dangerous upheaval of our marriage.

There’s also one other problem with her threat: it would be permanent. Mrs. Lion would be closing the door on the only sexual balance we had. There would be no coming back.

In addition to male chastity, we also practice domestic discipline. This is a powerful toolkit for Mrs. Lion to use. She can let me know when something I’ve done upsets her. She considered her DD options if I jerk off. She felt that this offense was too serious to simply earn me a spanking. That may be true, but does it warrant a sexual death sentence?

I think that’s at the root of what is bothering me. Her decision to terminate our current sex life seems to say that she doesn’t consider DD a serious disciplinary tool. I think that she believes if I do something truly upsetting, DD won’t work. I think Mrs. Lion believes that I  associate spanking with trivial offenses. Since I’ve never been punished for anything serious, it may be that she associates beating me with the small stuff. She may feel at a loss on how to deal with a big problem like me jerking off.

I don’t think it is a good assumption that spanking is only for minor offenses. I certainly don’t feel that way. A particularly long and strong spanking for jerking off is a serious punishment in my mind and probably an effective deterrent. In addition, locking me in a chastity device without release of a period of time is also real punishment to me.

My point is that we have tools to help prevent making the punishment for me becoming a capital offense. The entire point of DD is to provide clear communication of displeasure in a way that deters repeats of the naughty behavior. Does spanking always work? No, not always, at least at first. Does it work eventually? Yes, I think it does. It isn’t so much the pain of the spanking, as it is being made painfully aware that I hurt my lioness. That’s really the entire point, isn’t it?