When we began male chastity, I wrote about how a keyholder could handle difficult situations with her caged male. The obvious answer at the time was to stop playing the male chastity game. After all, it is a game initiated by men to make sex more exciting. Right?
That made a lot of sense seven years ago. I don’t think it does now. With or without a chastity device Mrs. Lion controls sex for me. I am forbidden to masturbate, so she is the sole source of sexual pleasure for me. Over the years, we have established a pattern for my sexual activities. Essentially, I am teased to the edge of orgasm almost every day. When Mrs. Lion decides I should ejaculate she makes me come. It’s simple and works for us. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself, so her sexual needs aren’t part of the process.
A little while ago I asked what would happen if I decided to jerk off? It was an academic question since with or without a male chastity device I haven’t done that since December 2013. I was curious about how Mrs. Lion would react. Several years ago I posed the same question. She responded by saying that she considered me masturbating in the same category as fucking another woman. She implied that she would end our marriage if I cheated.
At the time she didn’t confirm or deny either assumption. Later, she said that jerking off was not as serious as cheating. It still left how she would react to the open question. When I brought it up again recently, she responded that if I jerk off, she would end male chastity. I asked her to elaborate since orgasm control is our only sexual activity. She responded that she wouldn’t edge me anymore and would just get me off.
Since the only sex we had before male chastity was monthly handjobs, I wondered if that was what she was thinking. She said it wasn’t. She said we would cuddle and she would get me off. Ever since she responded this way, it has been on my mind.
It isn’t that I am worried that I will suddenly decide to jerk off. That really isn’t the issue at all. The real problem I have is that Mrs. Lion doesn’t seem to realize how important our male chastity has become to our relationship. Sure, at one time the threat of ending it would be a frightening consequence for doing something wrong. We both could clearly see what life would be like if I couldn’t wear a chastity device. It would be a very serious punishment for me to lose this great, sexy game.
Now it isn’t a game. Stopping it would disrupt our relationship. Without male chastity and orgasm control, we have no sex life. We started all this because of a sexual chasm that had opened between us. Because Mrs. Lion had lost all interest in sex for herself, there was no biological need for her to think about sex for me. Essentially, she forgot I needed sex.
Male chastity built a bridge across that chasm. It was an intellectual exercise coupled with my need for sex that allowed us to have an active sex life that worked for our marriage. Over the years this has been refined and has become an organic part of our relationship.
Ending it would hurt me. It would probably drive me into masturbating regularly to try to replace what I lost. It would also anger me. I can’t pretend that the same resentment I felt when I was getting monthly handjobs won’t return. It would be less of a punishment than a dangerous upheaval of our marriage.
There’s also one other problem with her threat: it would be permanent. Mrs. Lion would be closing the door on the only sexual balance we had. There would be no coming back.
In addition to male chastity, we also practice domestic discipline. This is a powerful toolkit for Mrs. Lion to use. She can let me know when something I’ve done upsets her. She considered her DD options if I jerk off. She felt that this offense was too serious to simply earn me a spanking. That may be true, but does it warrant a sexual death sentence?
I think that’s at the root of what is bothering me. Her decision to terminate our current sex life seems to say that she doesn’t consider DD a serious disciplinary tool. I think that she believes if I do something truly upsetting, DD won’t work. I think Mrs. Lion believes that I associate spanking with trivial offenses. Since I’ve never been punished for anything serious, it may be that she associates beating me with the small stuff. She may feel at a loss on how to deal with a big problem like me jerking off.
I don’t think it is a good assumption that spanking is only for minor offenses. I certainly don’t feel that way. A particularly long and strong spanking for jerking off is a serious punishment in my mind and probably an effective deterrent. In addition, locking me in a chastity device without release of a period of time is also real punishment to me.
My point is that we have tools to help prevent making the punishment for me becoming a capital offense. The entire point of DD is to provide clear communication of displeasure in a way that deters repeats of the naughty behavior. Does spanking always work? No, not always, at least at first. Does it work eventually? Yes, I think it does. It isn’t so much the pain of the spanking, as it is being made painfully aware that I hurt my lioness. That’s really the entire point, isn’t it?
Take care of your marriage. There is a solution.
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