By:
In: Spanking, Domestic discipline
This is how it works at our house. I’m in charge until I’m not.

Yeah, I tend to be too analytical. I like to think that’s a good thing. Maybe it isn’t. I’ve been thinking about the convoluted sexuality that’s evolved in my life. Mrs. Lion and I are pushing a decade of our kinks. That’s not entirely correct. She’s been spanking me for nearly twenty years. But the early years were just not very serious play spankings. They were part of BDSM scenes.

When we began male chastity, the nature of things changed. We acknowledged that Mrs. Lion had the last word. No, she didn’t become a micromanaging mistress. We agreed that she had the absolute right to decide what I should and shouldn’t do.

That meant our day-to-day lives weren’t going to change. She could make rules that she would enforce. If she assigns a chore to me, failing to do it earned me a punishment. In our house, punishment is a spanking. If you’ve been reading our blog, you know that a spanking is a serious ten-minute visit with Mrs. Lion’s paddles. It is absolutely no fun.

Most people would be appalled at my punishments. Domestic discipline could be considered abuse. The reason it isn’t for us is very simple: the idea of being spanked turns me on. Being spanked as punishment is an erotic theme for me too. Actually, getting punished most certainly isn’t. It doesn’t matter. I want Mrs. Lion to spank me for transgressions. I want the spankings to be painful and not a bit sexy. Yet, I get aroused thinking about getting one.

Even though it’s obvious that I need to feel her paddles, I never deliberately break a rule or forget a chore. The “game” is very important to both of us. Mrs. Lion likes “catching” me break the rules. When I do, she spanks me. She doesn’t mind beating me. She doesn’t particularly like doing it. It’s part of the game.

She likes that I know that it will hurt if I break a rule. That’s my side of the game. I have to be careful to stay out of trouble because spankings really hurt. I willingly accept the spanking because the idea of being spanked turns me on.

We have an interesting balance. Mrs. Lion likes catching me. I work hard to avoid giving her anything to catch. Hard as I try, she’ll find something every week or two. When she does, I pay the consequence. She spanks me. My ass is literally on the line.

By:
In: CBT, Orgasm

Last night Mrs. Lion put the locking cock ring on me. It’s been a long time since I’ve worn any penis “jewelry.” The locking cock ring allows me to get hard and doesn’t prevent sex. That’s not its purpose. I haven’t masturbated in nine years. I don’t need a device to keep my hands off my penis. The reason I’m wearing the cock ring is more complicated.

The main reason is that it is a concrete symbol of our power exchange. I can’t remove it. Only she can. We don’t need to be reminded who is in charge. We need to be reminded that sexual control requires consistent activity. Both of us have been letting things slide in the sex department. Mrs. Lion will forget or be too tired to do something. I will not be in the mood. She is quick to let me stop any potential action.

This isn’t how we decided we wanted things to go. Sex under her control is not just denying me orgasms. It’s also having me perform whenever she wants. If I’m due for attention, I should get it. My interest isn’t the point. My job is to present my genitals for her attention. If she wants to tease me, she should tease me. I don’t have the right to refuse.

On the other side of the coin, she commits to playing with me at least every other day. She’s missed a lot of those dates. The locking ring is a visible reminder of what we agreed to do. It’s hard to ignore.

Late last year, Mrs. Lion decided to give me at least one orgasm a week. Despite the problems we’ve been having, she’s come through. I had three orgasms in November and December, Four in January, and five in February. The six months before averaged two a month. Almost every time she gave me sexual attention, she got me off.

This is what we wanted to change. Consistent teasing leading up to a weekly orgasm was her goal. Maybe locking me up again, even if it is just a cock ring, will get the teasing going again. My job is to be available. I can do it. If I fail, there is always the spanking bench.

Speaking of that, I had trouble finding a company that would make our spanking magnet. Two canceled my orders because it was of my bare bottom. I finally found an open-minded outfit on Etsy that is making it. Mrs. Lion will put it on my whiteboard when I earn a spanking. She will know at a glance if she owes me a beating. The goal is to punish as soon after the offense as possible.

Spanking has proven to be a successful educational tool for me. Mrs. Lion is still slow in finding new rules. We both seem to do better when she has many opportunities to catch me. I can think of at least one she might want to add.

By:
In: Orgasm denial, Body Hair Removal

Sunday was hair removal day here. Mrs. Lion waxed me, front and back. Nothing is left between my neck and upper thighs. It’s a good look. I like how my balls feel when completely hairless. The skin is soft and very sensitive. I wonder if she notices. The waxing process takes a lot less time and seems easier for my lioness. It’s true that the hair growing back is thinner (less thick). In most places, less grows back as well. There is one spot above the base of my cock that grows back despite laser and wax treatments. Stubborn.

I always get a short, fun playtime after Mrs. Lion uses oil (light mineral oil) to clean off any wax residue. She oils my cock and balls and then masturbates me. It always feels good. On Sunday, there was something new. She moved her hand down and then let go. Rinse and repeat—just downstrokes. Holy shit!

In the past, she’s used just upstrokes. This technique is exciting but will never produce an orgasm. Nature has programmed us, males, to always ejaculate on the thrust in. That makes sense. We need to ejaculate as close to the cervix as we can get. That gives our sperm the shortest swim to the waiting egg.

That means if his partner is playing with his penis and only moves her hand up from the body, there will be sexual stimulation but no trigger to ejaculate. Mean tops like my lioness know this since this motion is also less arousing because the skin is being pulled up and over the frenulum, which reduces contact and stimulation.

For the record, I’ve had the skin pulled down with one hand while the other (lubed, of course) moves up over the sensitive spot. The result is more arousal but no orgasm regardless of how long she did it. My penis was aware of the direction of stimulation and refused to squirt.

On Sunday, Mrs. Lion did the opposite. She oiled me up and then moved her hand over the head and down to my body. She did it at the same speed she would normally move up and down when she jerked me off. The sensation was amazing. I did not doubt that I would come if she kept it up. She didn’t–the bitch! She smiled and said, “Not now.”

By:
In: Sex
This is my locking cock ring. It allows erections and easy peeing.

Over the last few posts, we’ve been discussing possible ways to restart sex on a regular basis. I admit that I introduced the idea of using a male chastity device again. Mrs. Lion seems to agree that is the best alternative (“No Other Idea”). There is one huge drawback: It becomes nearly impossible to pee neatly. No, sitting down to pee isn’t a viable alternative for me. I have too much difficulty getting up from the toilet to sit every time I pee.

Only one of my chastity devices keeps my urethra reliably aligned. That one is the Evotion Orion. Every time I’ve tried to wear that one, within a few days, I develop a nasty sore under the head of my penis. It appears to be caused by the very mechanism that keeps my urethra in place. There is a ring that fits just under the head that prevents it from slipping back into the device’s body. We tried changing the measurements of the shaft with no luck.

The least reliable for keeping my urethra in position is the Jail Bird. It’s also the most comfortable. Even the one-inch-long version still allows my urethra to wander. I’m not ruling it out as a possibility if Mrs. Lion wants to use it. The Evotion is out because it injures me.

There is one other possibility. We have a locking cock ring. This device doesn’t prevent erection or masturbation. Since I don’t masturbate, that isn’t an issue. It does lock on and is visible if Mrs. Lion cares to look. Taking it off and putting it on is no different than managing the Jail Bird.

Mrs. Lion doesn’t like putting any device on my penis. She hates fiddling with the locking mechanisms. We both agree that I shouldn’t do it myself. The act of removing and putting on a device is an essential component of control. Also, I am much less likely to get a device on successfully.

The reason a male chastity device was so good at getting us back on track had very little to do with its primary function. In the beginning, it trained me not to masturbate. It did its job very well. The act of removing and putting on the device added an element of necessary ritual to sex. It was impossible to look at my genitals and miss that something was locked on. If Mrs. Lion groped me, she would feel the device instead of skin.

I think that’s what made it work for her. The device focused attention on my cock and balls. It was an unsubtle reminder of unfinished business. Maybe we don’t need the full-on chastity device to achieve the same effect.