By:
In: Sex
1-inch long jail bird

I never did very well sustaining traditional romantic moves. I wasn’t all that good in the first place. Maybe there is something wrong with me that prevents me from initiating sex. It isn’t that I don’t want it. I do. I’ve always been horny. I just can’t seem to make the first move.

Over the years, I learned to warn potential partners of this defect. That helped, at least for a while. Sooner or later, the reality of this issue would get in the way of my relationships. Mrs. Lion is struggling with it now. Is she feeling the same sort of fear of rejection that plagues me? It seems that way based on her post yesterday (“Awkward“). After nearly twenty years, you would think that we would have worked out the sex stuff.

It’s true that Mrs. Lion didn’t take to BDSM and spanking the way some women do. One partner of mine considered spanking me as excellent foreplay. She got wet by tying me to the bed and then spanking me. After a while, she needed to turn me loose and “be an attack lion.” I was turned on and ready to mount her. The act of topping me turned her on. Unfortunately, other more serious relationship issues got in our way.

Mrs. Lion and I are perfect for each other in almost every way. Sex seems to be one way we aren’t. I believe that for something to work, both partners need to benefit from the transaction. A good example is a woman getting aroused by topping. It neatly solves the problem of initiation. That isn’t our situation. That may not mean all is lost.

The challenge is to find ways to make sex a win-win. That’s tricky since Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex. The easiest solution is for me not to be interested either. Problem solved. Oh, wait, I am interested. Let’s put a pin in this problem right now. We solved a similar problem not too long ago.

I wanted a disciplinary relationship. That required Mrs. Lion to create rules and enforce them. She isn’t a very proactive person. See, it relates to sex as well. So, how can she make and enforce rules when she isn’t inclined to take action on anything? It took a lot of time and effort. At first, the rules were trivial and thinly veiled excuses to spank me.

That worked very well. Mrs. Lion learned to effectively spank me without feeling guilty for hurting me. In that case, practice made perfect. Now, she is completely happy to bruise my bottom and make me yelp in pain. It isn’t fun for her. It’s more like a chore. Emotion isn’t an issue.

Interestingly, enforcing rules is sort of fun for her. She likes games, and it is a sort of a game to catch me breaking a rule. This is only true if the rule is a concrete, observable offense, like not closing the shower door. If the offense is subjective, like annoying her, she rarely enforces it. Many disciplinary wives have the same issue. Our current challenge is to find more concrete rules to enforce. Suggestions?

OK, back to sex. We are presented with the same sort of challenge we have with discipline. Sex is more difficult. Mrs. Lion doesn’t get turned on. Nothing we can do will make her want sex. The trick is finding something that will be enough fun for her that she will want to do it often. Hopefully, it will also turn me on and lead her to edge me or get me off.

When I was locked in a chastity device, the ritual of unlocking me at least every other day presented a concrete activity that started things going down “there.” It was similar to spanking me because it was a clearly defined activity that she didn’t mind doing. She never grew to like it, and she didn’t enjoy locking me up again. Fiddling with the locking mechanism annoyed her.

I think that it worked because the activity of unlocking me was an expected, clearly-defined activity. She didn’t have to wonder if she should tie up my balls, fondle me, snuggle, or just hold hands. We agreed that the cage came off for teasing and other sexual activities, at least every other day. It was the same as spanking.

We had agreed on discipline, and we both understand what it means. I’m not shocked or upset when the spanking bench comes out. Mrs. Lion knows exactly what to do. There is no ambiguity. Similarly, we both knew that I would be locked in a chastity device and let out every day or two. No ambiguity. We both understood that once unlocked, sexual activity would occur. Mrs. Lion got to choose. Usually, she masturbated me.

I am not saying that I should be locked up again, though it is fine with me if Mrs. Lion decides to do it. My point is that we both do better with clearly understood plans. Ambiguity is the enemy. Whatever Mrs. Lion decides to try as a way to start sex, it has to be followed religiously. She does it when she agreed she should–daily, every other day, etc. I don’t get to say no–just as with spanking. I suppose I could end up in the Jail Bird if Mrs. Lion can’t think of anything else.

By:
In: Life with Mrs. Lion

The one constant in life is change. Reading personal/sexual blogs illustrates this point. Some bloggers start out talking about their real-life activities; chastity devices, spanking, etc. Over time, things change. Some blogs go from journaling to sexual fiction. Others chronicle 180-degree changes: bottom to top, top to bottom, straight to bi, etc. The most important change is rarely documented: more to less.

Entropy applies to sex as it does to everything else in the universe. As we age, our appetites change, and heat cools. The problem is that our minds don’t cool at the same rate as our bodies. This is what makes old men chase young women. In their minds, the seniors are still twenty or thirty years old. The shape of a desirable woman doesn’t age in our male minds.

I’m writing from my male perspective. Women seem to be realists. They understand where they are in the spectrum of desirability. They may not like it, but they know. We men are much less likely to see ourselves realistically. Maybe that’s why Mrs. Lion, like many wives, describes me as her oldest kid.

Retaining perpetual youth, at least mentally, is a good thing in most ways. My sense of wonder hasn’t dimmed. I still love to discover and try new things. I’m always disappointed when I discover that my body doesn’t do what I want. I don’t seem to have a sense of my place on the timeline of my life. I’m sure death will surprise me one day.

Very often, good things have bad sides. For example, the genes that protect against Malaria also cause sickle cell anemia. Natural selection favors disease resistance. If the mutation also causes a deadly disease in a small percentage of the people with the protection, nature counts the mutation as a winner.

I’m not claiming that age blindness is a genetic mutation; it could be. While it has a lot of benefits to people who have it, there are also downsides. Optimism is one benefit. Another is the energy to keep learning and evolving. A big downside is the inability to adjust expectations to match the realities of getting older. Guys with this issue try to date twenty-year-olds when they are 75.

The good news for me is that I optimistically embark on new ventures. I’ve had several different careers in my life that ranged from show business to program management. Currently, I’m trying to become a novelist. Since I haven’t had an English course since high school, I may be delusional to imagine that I have the skill to write something people will want to read.

I know that I can write hot porn. That is hardly a test of writing skills. I want to make a reader see a movie in their (hate using the plural to avoid gender assignment) mind, identify with the protagonist, feel real emotion. That’s hard to do. Getting men hard and women wet with sexual description is easy.

Maybe it’s arrogance for me to believe I can succeed in something just because I decide to do it. It’s the way I’m wired. It’s the only way I can function. So far, over 20 agents disagree that I can be a successful author. Oh well. Someone will give me a chance. Right?

When it comes to sex, my disposition can make things hard on poor Mrs. Lion. Even if it takes me a couple of days to recharge between orgasms, I’m still a young stud in my head. I still want sex even when I can’t perform. It would be much easier on my lioness if I didn’t have the genetic disposition to believe I could do anything I set my mind to. We all have to balance the good and bad when considering our choices.

She picked me. I hope she realized who I am when she did. I worry that the good I offer her outweighs the trouble to keep me. It takes time and energy for lion maintenance. My lioness is good-natured. She’s learned to be an effective disciplinarian. That’s not her nature. It’s something needed to make me happy. All the one-way sex is another cost of maintaining me. I’m grateful she is so willing to do it for me.

It’s not a free ride for me. I may be young inside, but I’m not selfish. It’s painful to consider that I can’t give back what she gives me. I worry that sooner or later, she will realize how little she gets in return for all that work. I’m smart enough to understand that love is much more than weighing transactions. Even if I can’t see it, something must make being with me worthwhile. At least, I hope there is.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
The Russian invasion of Ukraine (map from New York Times)

Welcome to 1939. This is how World War 2 started. Hitler began gobbling up pieces of Europe. Now, Putin is working from the same playbook. Like 1939, some politicians admired and supported this dictator. Can you say “Donald Trump?” In 1939 it was Oswald Mosley in England. Appeasement was the initial response to Hitler.

Sadly, we had no good choices for president in 2020. Biden is a political hack who was a weak veep under Obama. He isn’t any better now. Trump is an insane autocrat who nearly killed our country during his unfortunate reign. Since he is a fan and friend of Putin, he would be rooting the Russian troops on to victory.

There is a real problem that transcends political lines. Russia is testing the West to see how far they can go before NATO sends in troops. At this point, the US has far more military strength than Russia. Given our unfortunate experiences in Afghanistan and Iraq, we have no taste for more military action. Putin knows this. He has been cultivating friendship with China. Trump makes China the enemy. Right now, China is neutral. As an economy as big as ours, if it throws support to Russia, I think world war is inevitable.

I’m not worried about nuclear armageddon. There is no military value in turning the earth into a radioactive wasteland. I am very worried about a conventional war with Russia. I’m sure that Putin is worried about one too. Like Hitler, he believes that as long as his enemies think that the strategic value of going to war is too small, he can keep nibbling away at eastern Europe. It worked for Hitler.

Apparently, Biden’s strategy is to put economic pressure on Russia. He believes that if the richest people feel economic pain, they will make Putin stop. I doubt it. He’s known that we will do this. I’m sure he plans to gobble up another chunk of territory and then announce that he is done and stop attacking. He will get the West to agree not to offer NATO membership to Ukraine. That’s what he needs.

“Republicans are expected to seize on additional domestic economic hardships to criticize Mr. Biden and Democrats. A strong faction of the Republican Party — led by President Donald J. Trump that includes the Fox News host Tucker Carlson — has been praising Russia, downplaying the importance of defending Ukraine and criticizing Mr. Biden for many policies. Some analysts say Mr. Putin sees such political division as a strategic advantage.” (New York Times, Thursday, February 24)

Of course, there is a chance that Russia won’t stop and will annex Ukraine as Putin attempts to recreate the USSR. He has nothing to lose if he decides that NATO won’t respond with force. The economy in Russia isn’t good anyway. Sanctions won’t hurt him. He doesn’t care about his people any more than he cares about the suffering in Ukraine.

Putin warned about interference saying, “Russia is a powerful nuclear state.” NATO is an alliance of more powerful nuclear states. Putin knows this. He has such a huge force ready to attack Ukraine because he can take half the country in a day or two. The West is slow to respond. By the time we take any serious steps, he will have swallowed Ukraine whole.

By:
In: Sex

I want to write about what happened last night (I’m writing this on Wednesday afternoon), but I’m unsure how to say it without sounding negative. Mrs. Lion gave me an orgasm with the Magic Wand. That’s the objective part. In her post yesterday, she wrote about it (Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?) The subjective side is considerably more complicated.

Everyone over thirty knows that sex is more than stimulation and orgasm. Before thirty, there isn’t time to contemplate the subtleties. Even when the sex is one-sided, the way mine is, more is going on than stimulation and orgasm. Last night’s Magic Wand session is a good example. First, let me say I didn’t expect violins and sweet talk. Sex for us has never been exactly romantic.

Since Mrs. Lion lost her libido, foreplay is generally some uncomfortable activity like clothespins or IcyHot on my balls. I generally find that stuff exciting. In past years, the added spice of being locked into a male chastity device was part of the sexual landscape. There’s never been anything else.

I don’t see how there can be. Sex is like tennis. It’s generally a game for two. Yeah, you can also play doubles, but that’s a different post. Anyway, you can also hit a tennis ball against a wall for practice. It’s not the same as a game with someone else. Sex is the same. Masturbation is the hitting-against-the-wall version. At least that’s what I thought.

Another version that’s not as lonely is one-person sex is what Mrs. Lion and I do. We aren’t having sex or making love. She is getting me off. I’ve learned that is a very significant distinction. There is no give and take, no seduction. I have no active part. She’s getting me off out of the goodness of her heart. I’m grateful that she does, but it just doesn’t feel like tennis.

I don’t know what the alternative is. Maybe there isn’t one. Even if you include the teasing and orgasm control, it doesn’t feel like sex. Sure, I enjoy the orgasms. I love getting oral attention. That really feels good. But I’m not doing anything. Since I’m not giving pleasure, I always wonder when I’ll stop being her favorite charity. If you read her posts for the last year or so, you’ll see that she’s often tired or achy and discusses why she can’t keep her sexual promises.

She’s telling the truth about the way she feels. I suspect that part of the reason she feels that way at bedtime is, at best, a lack of interest in getting me off. It makes sense. If her libido were awake, there would be a motivation to be sexual. As it is, she has to sit or lie in an uncomfortable position and do something that ends up hurting her shoulder or some other body part. I’m not imagining it. It’s documented here.

I’m not whining about lack of attention. My point is that it’s impossible to have a sexual dimension if I’m the only one interested. I know that I’m not alone in this situation. If there is a good solution to this problem, I’m not aware of it. I know that I’m lucky. Mrs. Lion actively tries to give me sex. I am grateful for her attention. It’s not her fault that I am feeling this way. I’m tired of being her 9 PM chore. Maybe it’s time just to stop.

[Mrs. Lion — I don’t want to seem indelicate here, but even when sex was a two-way street, I did most of the “work”. Generally, I revved him up and then had to rev myself up. Back in the day, Lion had an orgasm every night. There’s no way I was up for one for myself that often. I did have orgasms fairly frequently. As a guess, I’d say less than once a week. Lion would do something, in the sense that he’d give me oral sex or use his fingers. Less often, he’d give me anal sex. Because of this, I inadvertently “taught” him to only have sex on his back. Anal sex with him behind me is, well, behind us in the distant past. Believe it or not, I miss anal sex more than I miss wanting orgasms. There’s just something about being taken from behind.]