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In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity, Spanking

We have been blogging for almost nine years. If you haven’t been with us the entire time, this might be a good chance to catch you up. Mrs. Lion and I have been together for almost 19 years. We were both married before. She has three grown children, and I have two. We are both from New York. I am from New York City, and she is from Upstate; city and country lions. We moved to the Seattle area about 15 years ago when I was offered a good job by a company here.

We have been kinky almost the entire time we’ve known one another. Mrs. Lion started spanking me (play, not discipline) within the first month we dated. Those early spankings were so light I could barely feel them. She started CBT early too. She has a real talent for tying and separating my balls. She also used clothespins quite a bit.

In the late fall of 2013, I discovered cheap Chinese male chastity devices. Years before meeting Mrs. Lion, I reviewed kinky toys and tried quite a few custom male chastity devices. At that time, I was a top and lived with a 24/7 bottom. Wearing a chastity device for more than a few days didn’t fit our lifestyle. Also, those early chastity devices were not very comfortable.

Anyway, I was surfing Amazon and searched for “chastity.” To my surprise, a large number of devices were displayed. They were all inexpensive. I got excited. I ordered three. I didn’t have a plan to be locked up. I just wanted to try them. OK, the idea turned me on.

One of the devices from Amazon seemed to fit comfortably. I went to Mrs.Lion and explained my concept of male chastity to her. She agreed to lock me up. I told her that she had control of any sex I might have. I described the typical male chastity fantasies about being made to wait. She disregarded my narrative. Instead, she decided to make me ejaculate every day. When I expressed surprise at this, she told me she was in charge of when I could ejaculate. If she wanted every day, then I would squirt every day.

I couldn’t argue with her logic. She was in control. My body wasn’t in agreement with this policy. I couldn’t sustain that much jerking off. She relented and went to the more typical orgasm control schedule for me. She agreed to unlock and tease me at least every other day. She decided when I could come.

That first night in December 2013, Mrs. Lion made her first rule for me. It started when she asked me to masturbate while she watched. Her goal was to learn the best way to jerk me off. I did it and told her that I masturbated a couple of times a week. She was genuinely upset. She had no idea I was doing that behind her back. She told me that I could never jerk off again. Never? Yes, never.

Since I was being locked in a male chastity device, any question of jerking off was academic. Mrs. Lion is a laid-back lioness. Consistency has never been one of her strengths. When it came to forbidding me to jerk off, she was a rock. I spent the next three years locked full time. The device only came off to give her access or for cleaning. I didn’t have a chance to jerk off.

I tore my rotator cuff when I fell on a business trip. It required surgery. The device came off for about three months while I recuperated. By that time, I was conditioned not to masturbate. I didn’t even try. Male chastity worked. Chastity device or not, Mrs. Lion owned my sex life. That is true to this day. I haven’t jerked off since that night in 2013.

chastity devices

The male chastity devices I bought on Amazon didn’t fit perfectly. I had problems with pinching and irritation around the base ring. The cages were too long, and peeing became an unpleasant adventure. I discovered dhgate.com, a website that offers an amazing array of male chastity devices (just search for “male chastity”). The prices were much lower than Amazon’s for the same products.

I tried a few more devices from that site. We had the same problems with them. I discovered Mature Metal. This is a two-person company that makes custom male chastity devices. Their Jail Bird model got rave reviews on various web site. Mrs. Lion and I talked about ordering one. It would cost about $400. She wasn’t certain I would want to wear a device long enough to justify the expense. I said that I would. She agreed.

The Jail Bird was very comfortable. The cage was too long. The head of my penis almost never touched the bars at the end. Mature Metal offers adjustments at reasonable prices. Over time we had the cage shortened twice. The current version has a one-inch cage and is a perfect fit.

We also tried other devices. Do a site search (top of the right column) for “reviews” to read about them. Several worked quite well. I wore an Evotion Orion for quite a while. This is a beautifully finished, 3D-printed chastity device. It was the only printed device that wasn’t abrasive on my tender skin. I stopped wearing it because I kept developing a sore under the head of my penis after about a week of wear. I was unable to figure out how to fix it. You’ll find several posts about this device if you search for it.

from love taps to a tomato bottom

Almost from the time I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up, I also asked her to make and enforce rules. She agreed to try. She is a very creative lioness. She made rules that I was sure to break often. That way, we would get “practice” with spanking. She loves to experiment.

Her plan worked. I ended up being spanked several times a week. She often forgot to punish me when she caught me breaking a rule. So we created “punishment days.” Monday, Thursday, and later Saturday were designated punishment days. I had a rule to remind her on each of those days. That way, she would be less likely to forget to spank me. To this day, I get punished if I don’t remind her every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday.

Over time, she became bolder about paddling me. She stopped feeling bad about hurting me and treated spanking like a job. She doesn’t enjoy spanking me but doesn’t mind doing it. She prides herself on making my bottom red and sore enough to hurt for days afterward.

Once the spankings really hurt, I stopped breaking my rules. It wasn’t intentional. The paddling flipped a switch in my brain that helped me remember to obey. That’s almost true. After a week or two, I would forget a rule and earn a spanking. This recharged my obedience battery for a few weeks.

I forget less and less. That’s good news in terms of domestic discipline but bad news for us. If I’m not spanked regularly, Mrs. Lion starts to forget to spot my infractions, and I get sexually frustrated and less responsive. We tried adding play spankings to fill in when I didn’t earn punishment. That didn’t work very well.

The solution was to add “just because” spankings. If I don’t earn a punishment for a week or two, Mrs. Lion spanks me “just because.” It’s a full ten-minute disciplinary spanking. The rationale is that I must have done something she didn’t spot. The reality is that it recharges my sexual batteries and Mrs. Lion’s hunting instinct. We have a counter on the right column that shows how long it’s been since my last spanking. When the number starts going into double digits, the paddles come out.

Now you are all caught up on our lives. If you want to read more, there are over 5,500 posts on this site that you can read. Have fun!

By:
In: Sex, Spanking

I have to give my lioness a lot of credit. She works very hard to make sure I have a sex life. The job is getting more difficult. I don’t understand why, but I’m not responding very well. She isn’t doing anything wrong. It’s me. Maybe I’m in a slump. Perhaps my intense work writing is affecting my sex drive. I don’t know. I like that Mrs. Lion locked me into the cock ring last night. I’m interested in trying a new use for the spanking bench.

We should make a few changes here. Unfortunately, Mrs. Lion has to bear the brunt of the work it will take to get them done. I agree that we need to use other rooms. There is a lot of clutter scattered around the house. Most of that has to go before we can spread out. That will take a lot of work. Maybe we need to make a trip to the dump with stuff we don’t need anymore.

the sore buns report

Ironically, my bottom hurts when I sit on the bed, but not when I’m in my desk chair. The best explanation for this is that my bruises are more to the sides of my bottom. They don’t end up contacting a normal chair. The bed is soft, and pressure is applied further up the sides. I don’t remember this happening before.

When I’m spanked, I usually end up with what some people call a tomato butt. There are a couple of large, darker red areas. Those areas are leathery to the touch and sometimes bleed a little. This has less to do with Mrs. Lion’s spanking style than my particular anatomy. Some bottoms turn pink and then dark red. There is little-to-no tomato effect. Others, like me, rarely get very red but almost always get the dark, leathery patches. I don’t think that equates to how much the spanking hurts. Mine hurt a lot. Mrs. Lion makes them hurt from beginning to end.

On Monday night, I said that she was Lioness 5.0 based on her spankings. She said that she was 1.5 because she feels that she has backtracked in other areas. I understand what she means. It’s not just her. We both allowed ourselves to drift away from our sexual path. Inertia is threatening us.

It’s not fair to blame her. I’m probably more to blame. My excitement level is low. She isn’t inspired to do more. I don’t know what to do about this. Neither of us is ready to give up.

By:
In: Sex

Maybe is a popular word here. It doesn’t mean no and isn’t yes. The beef stew wasn’t made because it was frozen solid at 3:30. It takes too long to cook for us to start any later than this. I suppose that clears the deck for sexual activity tonight. That doesn’t mean there will be any, just that it is possible.

I’m getting cynical about sex. We still don’t have a good way to communicate desire and intention. If I say I’m horny, Mrs. Lion will do something for me even if she isn’t feeling well. If I don’t say anything and wait to see if something develops, it usually won’t. That’s how we’ve gotten to 15 days since my last orgasm. I’m writing this on Monday afternoon.

We have a failure to communicate. There’s a more difficult problem. Mrs. Lion and I can’t seem to get properly situated for handjobs. She currently sits on the edge of the bed near my feet and works from there. I have to make room for her while still providing access to my naughty bits. It’s difficult for me in that position.

I’ve been wondering about using the spanking bench instead of the bed. If I lie on my back, she can sit in a chair and have very good access. The bench is narrow enough for her to find a good spot. Alternatively, the waxing table is at just the right height for her if she is standing. We have a Sleep Number bed, and it isn’t great for this.

When we had the sling set up, it provided excellent access for manual and oral stimulation. It was also perfect for anal play. Too bad we almost never used it. That brings me to my central point. Our best stuff, from spanking to blow jobs were delivered out of bed. Our bed is far from ideal for most sex.

I also think that if we teach ourselves to go somewhere other than the bed for most sex and play, it will set expectations accurately and will provide a certain amount of locational foreplay when we move to the assigned spot. Moving spankings to the spanking bench improved more than just the delivery of the punishment. It also makes Mrs. Lion’s intention totally clear. We are both prepared for what is to come.

This is equally valuable for sex. If we can improve delivery as well as atmosphere, we have a serious winner. What do you think, Mrs. Lion?

By:
In: Chastity hardware

You may wonder why a locking cock ring is a valid expression of male chastity. It’s ironic that in this kink, we start with the most extreme expression, a male chastity device. This device has two main components: a base ring that goes around the cock and balls and a cage that encases the penis and prevents erection and ejaculation. Its purpose is to prevent masturbation.

I wore various male chastity devices (cages) 24/7 for over three years. Mrs.Lion tapered off locking me up after I had shoulder surgery. That was about three years after she started. It became clear that I had “forgotten” how to masturbate. Sure, there are times I play with my penis. I never get close to orgasm. It isn’t so much that I stop myself. I just don’t think of it. All those years in a male chastity device broke me of the habit.

More recently, I’ve missed the feeling of my penis belonging to my lioness. Sure, I know it’s hers, but I liked it when I wore a device locked around my cock. A simple solution would be to go back to wearing a male chastity device. I hesitate because the device makes peeing difficult. My urethra wanders off-center in a device and urine sprays. One of our readers gave his solution for that problem. He pees into a cup held over his cage. The cup catches the spray. Smart. We have a plastic 32-ounce pitcher that would be perfect.

I had a less radical idea. Since I don’t need a male chastity device to prevent masturbation, maybe a locking cock ring would do the trick. Mature Metal makes this device, the same people who make the Jail Bird, my favorite male chastity device. Essentially, it is a Jail Bird with the cage removed. It has the base ring that goes around my cock and balls and the first penis ring of the chastity device.

The penis ring is slightly larger than the one on my Jail Bird. That’s to allow for expansion when I get hard. It’s not designed to strangle my erect penis. It’s tight enough to apply pressure, but not too much. The people at Mature Metal say it is a good way to start before wearing a cage. I disagree. It’s really an invisible male chastity device. Make no mistake; it’s securely locked in place. Sure, I can get my penis out, but it isn’t coming off my balls.

I chose a double base ring for my invisible chastity device. It’s heavier but more comfortable than a single ring. If I were to go back to wearing the Jail Bird full time, I would ask Mrs. Lion to let me order the double ring for it. I don’t recommend a double-ring when you start out. The chances are good that you will need to try at least one different size ring to get the perfect fit. The double rings are much more expensive to replace. Once you are sure you have the perfect size, get the wider ring if you want.

When I wore the Jail Bird, Mrs. Lion would comment on how much she liked seeing it on me. She hasn’t made any comments about my invisible chastity device. It keeps my balls front and center like the Jail Bird did. It’s impossible for me to forget I’m locked up. Time will tell if the invisible male chastity device works for us.