By:
In: Sex, Spanking

Our waxing table (a standard massage table) works wonderfully for handjobs. Mrs. Lion had easy access with both hands. It felt wonderful. We use light mineral oil for wax removal. It’s wonderful for handjobs. Waxing went very smoothly. According to my calendar, the last waxing was January 16. That can’t be right. I probably forgot to record the one after that. I would guess that the last time was around March first.

More regular waxing sessions make the job easier and much faster for Mrs. Lion. Professional waxers suggest monthly refreshers. Maybe we can try that. I’m back to not sending out any fluid when I ejaculate. I stopped using the EMS machine. Back to it tomorrow.

After waxing, I always shower to wash off the oil Mrs.Lion uses to remove wax that remained after pulling my hair out. I forgot to close the shower door again. That means a visit to the spanking bench. It’s been eight days since my last spanking. Ugh!

I suppose this bears out the common knowledge that a man can’t “remember” to obey a rule. Usually, I do better than just a week. Maybe the orgasm made me forget. It doesn’t matter. Mrs. Lion believes in cause and effect. Break a rule and get spanked. It’s that simple. No discussion is needed. As soon as she told me that I didn’t close the shower door, I knew what would happen to me.

We still have just two rules that Mrs. Lion enforces: set up the coffee pot and close the shower door. I’m surprised that I can’t manage to remember to follow them. I’m also surprised that I don’t have more. It’s good for us to have a set of rules for me. We are happier if I’m spanked regularly, and I have rules to follow.

It’s not mysterious why this works for us. The idea of being spanked turns me on. Regular spankings fuel my sexy thoughts. Having rules to follow provides a disciplinary connection between us. I can’t describe it, but it is another way we reinforce our bond with each other. Mrs. Lion enjoys observing me and catching me breaking the rules. It’s a sort of game for her. More rules will add to her fun.

The other benefit is that, for the most part, I do what I’m told. The spanking I will be getting (writing this on Sunday afternoon) later will remind me to close the shower door–at least for a while. Consider what it would be like if we didn’t have domestic discipline. I would forget to close the shower door. Mrs. Lion would notice and maybe growl at me. Next time I forgot, she would growl again. There is no resolution. It’s the classic “squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube” situation. Feelings fester.

Eventually, a fight would erupt. “You always leave the shower door open!” I would deny it. Unresolvable bad feelings would continue. That never happens with us. I’m punished every single time I leave that door open. If Mrs. Lion thinks I’m not getting the message, she adds time to my spanking. She has no trouble bruising my bottom.

After I’m punished, we both feel that the situation has been resolved. Case closed. It doesn’t mean that I won’t forget again. When I do, the paddles come out. Nothing festers other than the blisters on my butt.

By:
In: Male Chastity

After millennia of human reproduction, men still don’t understand female sexuality. Women aren’t any better at understanding males. A very good example of this is male chastity.

misunderstanding 1: women like the idea of controlling male orgasms

The entire premise of the male chastity game is that the female partner will have fun frustrating her man. How many women think about their partners’ penises? Sure, they like to see them. They may even think about nice things to do with them. I would be very surprised that they spend much time thinking about withholding orgasms from them.

Face it. We males spend a lot of time thinking about our cocks. We have spent most of our lives being able to jerk off whenever we want. Some guys get turned on thinking about their partner controlling their orgasms. Their fantasies run away with the idea. The stupid memes on the Internet say it all. They show images of models with captions expressing their pleasure at frustrating their men by locking them into a chastity device. Fat chance!

The point is that almost every woman practicing male chastity with her partner is doing it because he wants it. Many guys kill any chance of playing this game by insisting on living out the stupid fantasies they read online.

misunderstanding 2: women want to trade male orgasms for female fun

Most male chastity stories are about the cruel woman forcing her man to give her oral sex, massages, pedicures, etc., in exchange for the chance to ejaculate. If you’re with a woman who loves you, she expects you to want to sexually satisfy her without blackmail. If the only way she can get you to eat her out is to lock you in a chastity device, your relationship is doomed.

Do you seriously think a woman would enjoy knowing that the only way she could get sexual satisfaction is to lock up her husband’s cock? This idiotic idea stems from a very legitimate side effect of male chastity. If the man wants to be frustrated and made to wait, there’s a good chance his partner doesn’t want to wait for him. A rational man practicing male chastity is very willing to please his partner while locked up and unable to get pleasure himself. It’s the price of admission to the male chastity game. It’s also a lot of fun.

misunderstanding 3: women think male chastity is a lifestyle

Many men want to believe that male chastity is a new, improved way to live. There are countless stories about male sexual denial as a fun dimension to marriage. I admit that I believed this. There are many posts from our early years of male chastity where I claim it’s a way of life. Well, it isn’t.

It’s a game. That’s right, a game. Yes, we’re in our ninth year of playing it. I haven’t masturbated since December 2013. That’s when we started playing. It hasn’t changed our lives. At best, it’s a habit. I don’t think we would know how to go back to me having uncontrolled orgasms. Mrs. Lion never wants me to masturbate again. She accepts her role in the game and regulates my sexual activity.

That doesn’t make it a lifestyle. We are the same couple we were before we started. Sex isn’t that different. All that has changed is my ability to get off on my own. I asked to play the game Mrs. Lion agreed. I don’t know what would happen if I asked to stop. I don’t know what would change. I guess that she would laugh. She knows it’s too late. I haven’t forgotten how to jerk off. I feel no desire to do it, no matter how horny I feel. If she wanted, maybe I could learn again. I don’t think she wants me to try.

By:
In: Sex, Bondage, CBT
balls tied and separated

I haven’t been responsive to Mrs. Lion. It’s odd because I find my mind drifting to erotic thoughts during the day. My cock begins to harden. At night, after dinner and Mrs. Lion’s shower, I don’t get turned on. I want to get hard, but I don’t.

This has been happening for the last week or so. It isn’t that she doesn’t try. I can’t get interested in sex. Maybe it’s just a slump. I’ve been known to get them. I can’t understand what is happening. Maybe that would work if Mrs. Lion used the spanking bench for sex. If she got out my restraints, that might do it.

I think that any ritual other than reaching under the covers and touching my cock would be beneficial. It may be that I’ve become my own worst enemy when it comes to sex. For example, when Mrs. Lion waxes me, I’m usually not feeling sexy when she starts yanking my hair out. By the time she is finished, I’m starting to get hard on my own. I know she’s going to start a handjob with oil. It isn’t the oil. It’s the buildup from the very unsexy waxing.

The reason this always works is that something else that is unrelated to jerking me off happens first. Maybe that’s why CBT and bondage work reliably. Tying up my balls is nice, but as far as lion foreplay goes, it is pretty much the same as fondling under the covers.

It isn’t that I always need the big buildup, but at this point, I need more than I’m getting. For example, for the last few days, Mrs. Lion has said, “Want me to suck you?” When she asks, I’m not focused on sex. It’s just a question like, “Want some cookies?” Business as usual. For the record, I almost always love a blow job. If Mrs. Lion just started instead of asking, I can’t imagine I wouldn’t react.

She wouldn’t be able to do it long because I would be in a position that made it awkward for her. But a minute or two of attention would almost certainly get me very happy to get in the proper position. Oh yeah! Moving to a different location, like the spanking bench or waxing table, would train me to be ready for sex. It might not work the first few times, but I’m sure it would after a while.

I think that most women believe that men are always ready for sex. When we are in our 30’s and 40’s, that’s true. As we age, we need the same sort of buildup that women need. Familiarity and age dull the male libido. One reason men seek extramarital sex is that new partners make them feel young and virile. A new female is a powerful aphrodisiac.

No, I’m not advocating going out and finding a mistress. I am suggesting that my libido needs help. It’s alive and well but isn’t easy to wake when sleeping.

“he wants a floor show”

Mrs. Lion said that I’m like our puppy. When she gets a treat, she carries it around without eating it. She’ll only eat after we make a big fuss about how yummy it is. OK, maybe I’m the same way with a sexual treat. I’m not alone.

I have a theory why many men like to go to massage parlors for a handjob. I doubt that the women there have particularly novel skills in how to jerk a man off. Part of it may be the novelty of a new female paying sexual attention. Guys like that. A bigger reason is that the pros don’t just grab a guy’s junk and start playing with it. They make some pretense of a full-body massage.

They may not be offering medical-grade action, but they are doing a lot of non-genital touching, front and back. This sensual contact goes on for a while. The guy is paying for thirty minutes. That’s why they call the handjob a “happy ending.”

I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion offer thirty-minute massages. It is instructive how aroused I get after being waxed. Anticipation and ritual are powerful aphrodisiacs. The mind controls sex. Engaging it is the secret to orgasm. Women accuse men of ignoring this important fact. They are as guilty as we are. Their excuse: Men don’t need foreplay, they’re always ready. Ha!

By:
In: Domestic discipline

In 1936 Dorothy Spencer published The Spencer Spanking Plan. She begins,

Several years ago I conceived the idea of settling domestic misunderstandings in our home upon a somewhat unique basis—the giving and submitting to carefully regulated corporal punishment.

My idea was to inaugurate a system of cooperative discipline that would sincerely benefit the party at fault and prevent all serious trouble by furnishing a definite, fair and effective method of adjustment. The plan was a wonderful success.”

Her idea was that a couple could use spanking to solve domestic differences. Unlike our domestic discipline, the Spencer plan called for both partners to administer and receive spankings. The actual plan is very simple. Both partners agree in writing to consent to being punished for agreed-to behaviors. It goes on to describe how Dorothy Spencer thinks the punishments should be administered.

She wrote that a lot of men requested her plan. This is in line with modern domestic discipline. Men, like me, ask our wives to punish us as needed. The idea of mutual DD is interesting. I suspect that few couples actually practiced that way.

The Spencer plan dictates that spankings are never to be given in anger. It also says that it is important that a spanking lasts a long time. She doesn’t say how long but teaches that time being spanked is more important than intensity. We’ve learned that’s true.

What struck me about this famous concept was its importance in assuring that once punishment is administered, the offense is forgotten. The big idea was that spanking avoided holding on to anger and grudges. That’s how it works for us. The other stressed point was that spankings had to be given on bare skin. Ms. Spencer was very aware of the humiliation a bare-bottom spanking evoked.

There’s no way to know just how popular this idea was in the 1930s. I guess that it didn’t get much circulation. Modern spankos like to point to this as an early endorsement of domestic discipline. Paddle makers like to offer “Spencer paddles.” Dorothy Spencer never advocated paddling. She believed that women should get bare-hand spankings and men whipped with a belt.

If you read her plan, you will probably find it quaint. The agreements she wrote for partners to sign are nice templates for a modern DD contract.