Use A Little Restraint, Please

balls tied and separated

I haven’t been responsive to Mrs. Lion. It’s odd because I find my mind drifting to erotic thoughts during the day. My cock begins to harden. At night, after dinner and Mrs. Lion’s shower, I don’t get turned on. I want to get hard, but I don’t.

This has been happening for the last week or so. It isn’t that she doesn’t try. I can’t get interested in sex. Maybe it’s just a slump. I’ve been known to get them. I can’t understand what is happening. Maybe that would work if Mrs. Lion used the spanking bench for sex. If she got out my restraints, that might do it.

I think that any ritual other than reaching under the covers and touching my cock would be beneficial. It may be that I’ve become my own worst enemy when it comes to sex. For example, when Mrs. Lion waxes me, I’m usually not feeling sexy when she starts yanking my hair out. By the time she is finished, I’m starting to get hard on my own. I know she’s going to start a handjob with oil. It isn’t the oil. It’s the buildup from the very unsexy waxing.

The reason this always works is that something else that is unrelated to jerking me off happens first. Maybe that’s why CBT and bondage work reliably. Tying up my balls is nice, but as far as lion foreplay goes, it is pretty much the same as fondling under the covers.

It isn’t that I always need the big buildup, but at this point, I need more than I’m getting. For example, for the last few days, Mrs. Lion has said, “Want me to suck you?” When she asks, I’m not focused on sex. It’s just a question like, “Want some cookies?” Business as usual. For the record, I almost always love a blow job. If Mrs. Lion just started instead of asking, I can’t imagine I wouldn’t react.

She wouldn’t be able to do it long because I would be in a position that made it awkward for her. But a minute or two of attention would almost certainly get me very happy to get in the proper position. Oh yeah! Moving to a different location, like the spanking bench or waxing table, would train me to be ready for sex. It might not work the first few times, but I’m sure it would after a while.

I think that most women believe that men are always ready for sex. When we are in our 30’s and 40’s, that’s true. As we age, we need the same sort of buildup that women need. Familiarity and age dull the male libido. One reason men seek extramarital sex is that new partners make them feel young and virile. A new female is a powerful aphrodisiac.

No, I’m not advocating going out and finding a mistress. I am suggesting that my libido needs help. It’s alive and well but isn’t easy to wake when sleeping.

“he wants a floor show”

Mrs. Lion said that I’m like our puppy. When she gets a treat, she carries it around without eating it. She’ll only eat after we make a big fuss about how yummy it is. OK, maybe I’m the same way with a sexual treat. I’m not alone.

I have a theory why many men like to go to massage parlors for a handjob. I doubt that the women there have particularly novel skills in how to jerk a man off. Part of it may be the novelty of a new female paying sexual attention. Guys like that. A bigger reason is that the pros don’t just grab a guy’s junk and start playing with it. They make some pretense of a full-body massage.

They may not be offering medical-grade action, but they are doing a lot of non-genital touching, front and back. This sensual contact goes on for a while. The guy is paying for thirty minutes. That’s why they call the handjob a “happy ending.”

I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion offer thirty-minute massages. It is instructive how aroused I get after being waxed. Anticipation and ritual are powerful aphrodisiacs. The mind controls sex. Engaging it is the secret to orgasm. Women accuse men of ignoring this important fact. They are as guilty as we are. Their excuse: Men don’t need foreplay, they’re always ready. Ha!


  1. I have many of the same issues with erection, stimulation and ejaculation. Have you ever had your testosterone checked? Even if it’s with normal, your “normal” may be higher than what your current level is. Also, oxytocin lozenges before sex make it easier to orgasm. You can get a prescription from a urologist. Do you take any meds for depression or anxiety? Finally, consider a daily low dose of Cialis. Instead of the high dose just before sex.

    1. Author

      All of my hormone levels are normal and unchanged over a number of years. I tried the 5mg Cialis daily. It didn’t work as well.

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