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In: Writing, Lion's Journal

If you’ve been reading along for a while, you know I wrote a novel. I self-published it on Amazon. That turned out to be less than wonderful. I don’t have any way to promote the book, so not many copies have sold. I decided to try to get an agent. I own the Amazon publication, and I can transfer it to any other publisher. I sent lots of queries to agents. I got some replies, all negative. One agent liked the book but said publishers had trouble with previously published books, so she passed. I have more than one book in me, so live and learn.

I’ve also realized that I could do a much better job with fiction. Writing for this blog isn’t particularly good training. Yes, it helps me sharpen my vocabulary and style. I’m writing in the active voice most of the time now. But it doesn’t make up for lack of knowledge when it comes to fiction. Fan Mail has gotten good feedback from people who read it. I got a lot of help from Mrs. Lion and Julie, who are both gifted bloggers. I’m happy with that story. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t do much better.

All those rejection letters are hard to ignore. I realize that at best, some student reader spent ten minutes with the story. Unsolicited manuscripts get little interest. That’s why I published myself. I’m in the process of writing a second novel. This one is proving much more difficult to write. I think that may be a good sign. My writing process is less organic. I’m trying hard to craft the story so that the characters have more depth. Maybe I’m kidding myself. It could be that my confidence is damaged, and I don’t trust what I write. I don’t know.

After I sent off all those queries to agents and started getting rejections, I stopped liking the 150 pages of my new book, which I had already written. I’m back on the first page again, struggling with the opening. I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of Stein On Writing by Sol Stein. He’s a famous editor and writer. He gives good advice but does nothing to improve my self-confidence. I’m not a quitter, but I truly don’t need to find ways to depress myself. Before I published Fan Mail and tried to get an agent, I was having a lot of fun writing; not so much now.

I don’t know any fiction writers, so I have no network to help me through this. In the meantime, I’ll keep slogging along, and when I get enough of the revision done, I’ll share it with my amateur editors.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I don’t know what made me think of Icy Hot last night. I could have chosen clothespins or a rope. Maybe it was because Lion mentioned hot balls a few days ago. I thought he meant when I swat his balls. He meant Icy Hot. Okay. I’m game.

Have we ever used the spray? I have no idea. Lion bought it when he saw it advertised a long time ago. Last night, he complained that it was maximum strength. I pulled out the tube of Icy Hot. It’s maximum strength too. Apples to apples. So I lifted his balls up and sprayed some below. He grimaced immediately. It couldn’t possibly have been hot that soon. While he was getting used to the heat, I was playing with my weenie. He was betraying Lion by getting hard. Lion told me when I got to a grip that felt the best. I have filed that away for future reference.

Eventually, the heat started to dissipate and I asked Lion if he wanted to lay across the bed. I teased Lion that the Icy Hot smell in my face was going to clear my sinuses. It was a fairly strong smell even if it was losing its heat. I don’t think I actually got him to the edge, but I got him pretty close. He enjoyed himself.

Before I started sucking him, I told him I was just playing with my food. It’s been six days (now seven) since his orgasm. I think he can wait a little while longer. I know that changes the orgasm experiment, but maybe we’re past that. I can always go back to giving him an orgasm more often if he has trouble again. For now, I’d like to tease him some more. I’ll still let him know when I expect an orgasm versus when I don’t. He will still get spanked accordingly.

I like to change things up on him to keep him on his toes. I’m in charge. I can do that.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

It hurts to sit. It’s been two days since Mrs. Lion spanked me. It may be more uncomfortable than yesterday. Aside from the soreness, there’s an itch too. That’s probably part of the healing process. I’m not complaining. It shows that Mrs. Lion is effective when she wants to punish me. Boy is she! Yesterday, we discussed some of the physical questions that come up during a strong spanking. Mrs. Lion is concerned about doing real damage. It’s difficult to really injure a bottom with a paddle. She worried about hitting bruises.

Hitting a bruise isn’t a great idea. It’s serious if you use a cane or whip. The force they can deliver could break the skin and potentially do deeper muscle injury. Even then, I’m not aware of damage requiring medical attention. It’s true that I bleed a little and show red marks under my skin. I’m sure this is because I take blood thinners, which makes it easier to mark me. Mrs. Lion said that she saw areas that appeared swollen. I felt them after she finished. She worried that hitting those areas might injure me. For the record, those spots didn’t develop into bruises or sore spots. I decided to do some research.

Accounts of disciplinary spankings include mention of swelling, white spots, and blisters. Based on the pictures Mrs. Lion took right after she spanked me show minimal swelling and some very obvious blisters (See image, right). I’ve read several references to these. None of the experienced paddlers considered swelling or blisters as reasons to stop. They did say that these marks are signs of an effective spanking. From what I’ve read, white areas seem to be the next stage a chastised bottom displays. These signs are fairly new to both of us, and I appreciate that Mrs. Lion was cautious. I think it’s safe to hit these areas. At least experiment and see the outcome. I’ll hate it.  Of course, that’s the idea.

Mrs. Lion wrote that we had some minor disagreements, and it apparently bothered her that I argued with her. I have no memory of this. I don’t remember her growling at me. I know that she is concerned about picking her battles. Punishing me for arguing is no different than punishing me for getting food on my shirt or forgetting to set up the coffee pot. If she consistently observes and reacts, I will learn. It’s what we both want.

I think I understand why she didn’t pursue these offenses. Because they bother her as opposed to external unemotional rules, it seems to cause her to hesitate. Punishing me for arguing is no different from getting food on my shirt. They don’t put our relationship at risk. It’s what I want. OK?

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Spanking

It might have been because it was late-ish when I started trying to play with Lion, but he wasn’t very responsive. It sounded like I was making headway, but Mr. Weenie never got hard. Eventually, Lion said maybe we should wait a day. He said I was probably hurting my shoulder anyway. It’s a difficult angle with him under the covers. He pointed out that the angle wouldn’t be difficult if I were under the covers too. True, but then I’d be hot. Would it not work for him to come out from under the covers? Do I have to do all the work? Maybe I need to tell him to get his ass out if he wants any action.

The thought occurred to me that I could spank him for not getting hard. I think that would be going too far. Sometimes, for fun, I snap my fingers and say, “Up. Up, boy.” Of course, it never works, and I never expect it to work. I’m just silly. I know he can have an erection without physical stimulus, but I don’t think he should be punished for not getting hard.

I’m not sure if he’s having any trouble sitting today. [Lion — I am! It still hurts.] I didn’t check to see if I’d actually bruised him. It was enough to know he was sore the next day. He told me I could spank him again if I needed to, even if he was bruised. He hoped I didn’t have to, but I could. There was a scary moment when he dropped food on his shirt. If it left a stain, he would have been in trouble. Thankfully, for him, there was no stain. Whew! That was a close one. I told him I could always use some soap if he were bruised. That eliminates the possibility of doing damage – to his buns, at least.

We seem to be having some issues with disagreements lately. Lion seems to want to press his point. After the first back and forth, I think he should stop. What’s done is done. Does it really matter who said what when? As soon as I have to raise my voice (which I don’t normally do), we are done. I’m not talking about anything of any consequence. I mean, if one of us said X and the other said X right after or even at the same time, who cares who said X? X was said. Done. Do we really need to fight about X? And, no, I’m not backing down. Isn’t part of being Lioness 4.0 taking charge of a situation and growling?

Of course, if it’s something significant, then we should discuss it. That’s different. I’m not trying to take over the entire marriage. I’m just trying to flex my muscle where it makes sense to do so. Isn’t that what Lion wants? [Lion — Yup.]