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In: Chastity device fitting
The one-inch Nub is very comfortable

When I wrote about chastity device fit several years ago, my advice was based on cages like the Jail Bird or Holy Trainer. They are simple containers for the penis. Over the years, I learned that the shorter the cage, the better the fit. Since we started writing about short cages, more have come on the market. Famously, Holy Trainer started selling their “Nub”. This device is only one inch long. I found it comfortable to wear. Other guys who generally wear longer, custom cages also like it. It’s so short, the urethra pokes out of the front like two little lips. I didn’t find that a problem.

The bottom line is that so long as the diameter of the cage is close to the measured diameter of the shaft, the length isn’t important. Cages like the Nub are very comfortable. I had my Jail Bird shortened to a one-inch cage and it fit like a glove. Bear in mind that a one-inch cage doesn’t mean there is only one inch of room for your penis. You have to add in the thickness of the base ring and the gap left for the scrotum. Depending on the cage, that can add another inch.

There is a new kind of chastity device. This type has a separate “chamber” for the glans (head). The way it works is that there is a ring or shelf inside the device that “catches” the glans where it gets wider than the shaft. There is a sort of groove under the head of the penis. These devices add a ring or shelf that fits into the groove. It prevents the head from slipping back. I am aware of two makers who build devices like this: the Cherry Keeper, and the Evotion Wearables line of devices. Both makers use 3D printing to produce their devices.

evotion orion ring to hold penis head in place

I love this feature. By “capturing” the head of the penis, it stays put pressing the end of the cage. The shaft can expand and contract without changing that. Great idea! Unfortunately, I didn’t fully understand the implications this design has on fit.

When I sized my Evotion Orion male chastity device, I assumed that the same sort of very short cage would work best for me. So, I specified a shaft length of 31mm (approx 1-1/4 in.). This is the distance from where my penis joins my abdomen (top side) to the bottom of the glans. This is roughly the same sort of fit as my very short Jail Bird.

The Orion goes on in three sections: the base ring, shaft tube, and head cover. The shaft tube has a ring at the front designed to capture the groove under the glans. (See image, above) Since I gave a very short measurement, I had to really pull from behind the base ring to get the shaft back so that just the head protruded. Doing this puts a lot of stress on delicate skin. Since the glans was held in place by the ring, there was no reason for this very short section.

This is the my Orion with the “short” shaft section, You can see that the head (glans) is captured by the shaft section so that it will remain in place if my penis shrinks further.

After hurting myself with the stretching exercise, it finally dawned on me that I didn’t need any shaft compression to keep the head in place. The device could be considerably longer without causing any problems. I remeasured my penis when flaccid, but not coming-out-of-cold-water shrunk.The abdomen-to-glans distance was 49mm (1.9 in). That is a big difference! I ordered a new, longer shaft section using this measurement. That would make the abdomen-to-tip about 3 inches.

Bear in mind that Evotion wants a measurement along the top of the penis. Mature Metal and other cage makers want the shaft measurement on the bottom side, measuring from the scrotum to the tip. The Cherry Keeper wants that bottom measurement from scrotum to base of the glans and then the glans length. That allows locating the “shelf” that captures the glans.

It turns out that we have two measurement strategies depending on the device design. If getting a “free cage” design where there is no retainer for the glans, I think shorter is better. I love my 1-inch Jail Bird and Holy Trainer Nub. They are comfortable and the head of my penis stays front-and-center where it belongs.

When it comes to devices that have a “head capture” feature, the strategy needs to be different. Shaft length can be longer. I made mine the same length as my penis is when at rest. It isn’t the shortest it gets and isn’t the longest. It’s an average from a week’s worth of measurements. The glans size stays fairly constant for a flaccid penis. The length measurement should be as accurate as possible. The same is true for the diameter. Glans diameter is measured at the widest part, just above the groove.

Measurements have always been important when fitting a male chastity device. Always make them when completely flaccid (soft). Don’t leave room for an erection. The devices are designed to prevent them. The better the fit, the more comfortable and effective the device. Take your time. Remember, you will be living in this cage 24/7.

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In: Orgasm denial, Lion's Journal, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion’s birthday is tomorrow. Since I can’t afford any big-ticket items, I decided to order some New York delicacies. I got him the “Birthday Box” from Katz’s deli. I guess it’s one of the last remaining famous deli’s. Lion can have corned beef and pastrami on rye with real deli mustard. Or he can have a reuben. He can have a half-sour or full-sour pickle on the side. I also added some plain bagels and matzo ball soup. And he can finish it off with a black and white cookie. It’ll be almost like being back in New York, if only for a few minutes. [Lion comments — I ate at Katz’s regularly my entire life. I am overwhelmed by this amazing, thoughtful gift.]

I like surprising Lion. Apparently this year’s theme is food. I got him lobster rolls from Maine for our anniversary. But I don’t always surprise him with food. Sometimes I do it with orgasms. I’m not sure which he likes better. [Lion comments — Food is always an appropriate gift for me. Come to think about it, so is an orgasm.]

The food is certainly harder to come by. And he’s probably thinking he’ll get an orgasm for his birthday. I usually give him one on special occasions. However, if he thinks he’ll get one, maybe it’s not so special. It definitely won’t be a surprise. So maybe I should wait. Then again, if I tell him I’m waiting I could theoretically surprise him with one if he’s not expecting it.

The reality is, we haven’t been doing anything sexual since his sore spot and bruise developed. Now the original sore spot is mostly gone, but the bruise morphed into a sore spot. The doctor says it doesn’t appear to be infected. I’m not quite sure what it is if not infected, but Lion says it doesn’t hurt as much.

He wanted to play last night, but I guess I wasn’t up for it. I didn’t have anything going on other than dinner sitting like a brick in my stomach. That’s not insurmountable. I’ll check with him later to see how my weenie feels and looks. We’ll probably play tonight. Whether he gets his birthday orgasm remains to be seen.

In about an hour, Lion will say, “Are you getting hungry? I’m hungry. What do you want to do about lunch?” Okay. He won’t ask what I want to do about lunch but he will ask if I’m hungry. We already know what to do about lunch. We’re off to New York for a deli experience.

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In: Male Chastity, Sex

Feminism notwithstanding, men and women are very different when it comes to sex. It’s this difference that makes it so difficult for a lot of women to understand male chastity. Of course, it’s impossible for me to know how women feel about sex since I’m male. So I’ll start with something I know very well.

We males think about sex a lot. We’re programmed that way. Male mammals are always ready to have sex. In most of the animal kingdom, all they need to do is sniff a female in heat, and off they go. Human males retain that evolutionary imperative. Sex is never very far from the top of our minds and other places. Most of us learned to masturbate before we reached high school. I learned when I was 11. Once I discovered how good it feels to ejaculate, I was hooked. From then on, getting off was something I did several times a week.

If a female was available and willing, I had the additional pleasure of sex with a partner. That’s the best! If one wasn’t available, I always had my hand. Even after I was married, I filled in between times I had sex with my wife by masturbating. I don’t think more than two or three days ever passed without ejaculation.

I believe women are different. It’s not that they don’t like sex is much as we do. Apparently, it is just not as important to them. The net result of this is that masturbation is far less interesting to most women than it is to men. I don’t like this generalization because I know several women who love to masturbate and do so far more often than I ever did. That’s not the point. I think the female attitude towards orgasm is fundamentally different than the male’s. I think that we are far more goal-oriented. We want to ejaculate as soon as we can. That’s why many men find it hard to understand why women want so much foreplay.

The point is that the male focus is on finishing. We are programmed to ejaculate. That’s how we contribute to reproduction. A female doesn’t need to have an orgasm to get pregnant. All she has to do is feel receptive to a male and allow him to finish inside her. The female orgasm is gravy. Of course, I’m speaking from the strictly reproductive point of view.

This difference in approach is programmed into us. Free will allows us to improvise and improve our sexual experiences. Modern women want and expect orgasms as a normal part of sex. It may not be necessary for reproduction, but it certainly is an important contributor to her happiness and to the success of her relationship with her mate.

male chastity exploits the difference between men and women

Keeping all of this in mind, when a man decides he’d like to play with male chastity (orgasm control), he is talking about surrendering his ability to arbitrarily decide when he will ejaculate. Since almost all of us, males that is, expect to ejaculate at will, this is a big deal. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, the idea of having to wait to ejaculate until Mrs. Lion decides it’s time, is very hot. This is the essence of male chastity.

She had no idea why this made any sense. She never felt the several-times-a-week urgency to orgasm the way I did. [Mrs. Lion — Never?] But if I thought it would be fun to turn over control to her she was agreeable. Locking me in a chastity device was an amusing indulgence for me. It’s true that I probably would have resisted the urge to masturbate if I wasn’t wearing a chastity device. But in the beginning, I might have jerked off in a moment of weakness. After all, it was a habit decades-old.

Wearing a chastity device made it virtually impossible for me to jerk off. Sure, I could have pulled out of the device and masturbated. But that would have been considerably more, shall we say, intentional than casually reaching down and playing with my penis. The chastity device for me was the same as Nicorette gum is for a smoker. The smoker can still have a cigarette, but the gum takes away some of the desire. The chastity device made access to my penis considerably more difficult. It deterred me.

Most people play with chastity over relatively short periods of time. The device may stay on for a weekend, a week, or even longer. It will come off and sex will resume as usual. This includes casual masturbation. That’s not what we did. Once we found a chastity device I could wear long term with comfort, I remained in it full time except for when Mrs. Lion would tease me or, if I was lucky, jerk me off. It was just too difficult for me to masturbate.

That’s a good thing. Mrs. Lion absolutely hates the idea of me masturbating. Before I asked her to lock me up, I had no idea she had strong feelings on the subject. I was a little embarrassed to admit that I did it. But I didn’t expect such a strong reaction. She told me that she had no idea that I jerked off. She let me know that she hated the idea. In that respect, she liked the idea of locking my penis in a chastity device. However, I don’t think she felt that I needed it once she told me she wanted me to stop masturbating.

self-control isn’t enough

She had a lot more faith in me than I had in myself. I thought that if I got very horny and I wasn’t locked up, I probably would have cheated now and then. As it was, I couldn’t cheat. I stayed locked up this way for over three years. The device had to come off for a few months when I got shoulder surgery. Between the pain of recovery, and the fact that I had broken the masturbation habit, I was in no danger of getting myself off. Now that we’ve been doing this seven years, it doesn’t matter if I’m locked up or not. I’ve completely forgotten how to get myself off. That may sound strange, but it’s true. I just don’t want to masturbate anymore. I’ve been trained.

the last time i jerked off was 7 years ago

In fact, since December 2013 I haven’t had an orgasm that wasn’t produced for me by Mrs. Lion. She has never allowed me to masturbate even under her supervision. She is the only source of my sexual pleasure. That is how it should be. While she doesn’t consider it as serious as having sex with another woman, getting myself off is cheating as far as she is concerned. Since she is in charge of when I get sexual release, I’ve learned to accept teasing as long as she would like to do it and I wait for ejaculation until she thinks I should get off.

She has accepted my suggestions. Maybe she accepts too many. I can ask her for an orgasm and she will quite often agree to give me one. I think that’s changing now. She is less interested in my input. I know that a lot of guys would find that disturbing to think about. I believe a lot more would find it fun. This is all possible without the hardware. I think it’s more fun for me if I’m locked into a chastity device. I recognize that nothing changes if I’m allowed to be wild.

Practicing male chastity requires a fundamental change in the sexual dynamic. With most couples, the male initiates sex. Sometimes, perhaps often, the female rejects the advances, but he makes them. It’s rare that she starts things. I know Mrs. Lion would have preferred me to be the initiator. I was never good at it. I think it all comes down to a very deep-seated fear of rejection. At least that’s how it feels to me.

With male chastity, I can’t initiate. I’m physically unable to have sex without Mrs. Lion taking action. I suppose she could train me to ask for sex. If she did that, I couldn’t even have a possibility of ejaculation unless I asked. The thing is, I would hear an awful lot of no’s. She doesn’t like to say no. I certainly don’t like to hear it. It’s not so bad if she teases me and I am panting to ejaculate when she says, “Not tonight.” That’s part of the game. I suppose being trained to ask could also be part of the game if she wanted.

Even now, after all these years, I am still a little amazed that I am turned on thinking about being prevented from getting what I want. It may be that by feeling aroused when my mate says, “No,” to ejaculation, I am being set up to be obedient to my mate. The same thing is true of spanking. Mrs. Lion punishes me with disciplinary spankings. They are painful and I don’t like them a bit. Yet, I get aroused thinking about her spanking me.

It’s that arousal I feel thinking about things that aren’t pleasant, that drives me to accept them. I get turned on thinking about Mrs. Lion denying me orgasms. It may be 20 days since the last time she let me have one and I am desperate, but I still get turned on thinking that she is going to say no and make me wait longer. Perverse, huh? Since I like bondage, wearing a chastity device has the double turn-on of being restrained and being prevented from ejaculating. A true double whammy!

When I think about it, at least for us, male chastity has brought us closer. Sex, or the lack of it, isn’t an emotional barrier or weapon in our family. It’s something that’s under the conscious control of my mate. It’s that simple. It’s fun for me, and I hope for her as well. Sure, I get to ejaculate a lot less often than I did before we started. I’m much happier.

By:
In: Orgasm denial, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

The doctor told Lion my weenie doesn’t look infected. Lion says it hurts less and thinks he might be ready for some teasing tonight. I think he’s thinking with his penis. I’m pretty sure it’ll be too sore for much activity, but I’m game if he is.

The other day I read on Facebook that Ozzie Osbourne and his wife have sex twice a week. That’s gone down over the years. I’m not sure why anyone cares how often Ozzie Osbourne has sex (except Ozzie himself, I guess), but there it is. When I told Lion he said he doesn’t get sex twice a week. Baloney! He may not have an orgasm twice a week, but he gets teased almost every day. I consider that a form of sex. Lion conceded it was. He said it’s been seventeen days since his orgasm. Yeah. And whose fault is that?

It was Lion’s idea to do orgasm denial. It was his idea to extend his wait over the past month or so. He said he was getting orgasms too frequently. Most “normal” men will never say they’ve had orgasms too frequently. Then again, most caged males will agree with Lion. Many caged males consider it a badge of honor to have very long waits. Lion does not.

I made Lion wait twenty days last time. It was longer than his average wait. I don’t know if he wanted to wait longer or not. I still think varying wait times is the way to go. Without the sore spot getting in the way, Lion may have already had his next orgasm. Who knows? I think it would be silly to make him wait twenty days again. Would that mean twenty was the magical number? That would be boring.

I think the point of orgasm denial is that he no longer chooses when he orgasms. If it’s truly up to me, then I can make him wait four days or twenty-four days, or anywhere in between. I can even make him wait longer if I’m feeling evil. Although, if I was really evil, I’d give him a few orgasms after a four-day wait and then stretch it out to twenty-four. That would get him used to the short wait before surprising him with a longer wait. [Lion comments — Interesting thought.]

Lion was hard this morning while he was looking at the sore spot. He thinks this means he’s ready for sex. If it isn’t too sore, is Lion ready for an orgasm? Maybe. Maybe not. I wouldn’t get my hopes up, Mr. Lion.