By:
In: Punishment, Lion's Journal, Sex

There is a tendency for our readers to just think of us in terms of our sexual adventures. That makes sense because we created this blog to write about them. These activities don’t define us though they permeate our day-to-day lives. For example, our domestic discipline extends into every aspect of our lives. There are no boundaries on when or how I earn punishment. More about that later.

Pandemic tip: Social distance greeting!

By trade, I am a technology manager and Mrs. Lion is an insurance specialist. Her company put her on furlough in late March. She went back to work in April when her company got a Federal loan. I went on furlough the end of April and I am still not back to work. The $600 a week emergency relief has saved us. That, combined with her unemployment benefit gave Mrs. Lion a bit more than her normal take-home pay. My combined benefit is considerably lower. Still, it is enough to keep us going.

I can’t help but worry that I won’t be called back to work. I realize that it’s been less than three months, but still… If the weekly emergency money is allowed to expire this month, we will be in serious trouble. Obviously, I worry about this. However, I’m actively trying to remain positive.

One very nice benefit is that Mrs. Lion’s boss is letting her work from home three days a week. It’s great that we are together most of the time. Of course, she has to work, but we can chat a bit and she and I have lunch together. Since she doesn’t have to commute, we have an extra hour together each day she is home.

No spankings before dark!

One thing that doesn’t change is that Mrs. Lion still holds off on any disciplinary or sexual activity until after dark. It’s odd since we have a lot of opportunities every day of the week. In fact, since we are both being very careful about avoiding contact with people, we have a great deal of time alone at home; much more than we had before COVID-19.

I must be missing something. I don’t understand this. She can take the five or ten minutes needed to punish me if I do something during the day, but she doesn’t. Now that there are almost no bars to immediately reacting, things still haven’t changed.

That goes for our, well my, sexual activities. I can count on one hand the number of times we started before 8 PM. I would like to start earlier since I tend to get sleepy later in the evening.

I wonder why we aren’t taking advantage of the newer opportunities we have. We’ve discussed this several times. Each time, Mrs. Lion agrees that we should be able to take advantage of our schedule, but we don’t.

It isn’t that we don’t make progress at all. Mrs. Lion continues to “perfect” her spanking technique. She keeps improving as a disciplinary wife. Every spanking is extremely painful and memorable. She isn’t bothered by my expressions of displeasure or my wriggling. She is determined to do the job at hand. I’m not complaining. I’m proud of her.

There has to be a reason why we can’t pursue DD and sex during the day. I’m available and naked all the time. I wish I could figure it out. It’s one thing to delay punishment because it is an inconvenient time. It’s another to just delay it for no particular reason.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Tuesday night I wasn’t feeling very well. I had a stiff neck and a headache, but I managed to play with Lion and get him all riled up. I still felt yucky yesterday so, just for fun, I plugged my symptoms into WebMD. It suggested I have meningitis. Okay. Not likely but thanks for playing our game.

Lion was snoozing a lot and I was still not feeling well so we didn’t play last night. I’m not sure why he was snoozing, but I’m pretty sure my problems are from the change in weather. It seems that whenever a front goes through my sinuses are affected and I get stiff and achy. Apparently my head is a barometer. I still have a headache and stiff neck today but I’m going to make sure I get to play with Lion tonight.

When Lion chose the blindfold card the other night, he suggested I put it back in the Box O’Fun. He’s right. For one thing, he likes being blindfolded. For another, it doesn’t take the place of another card. And it adds to his fun. Fun, of course, is not always what he gets from the Box O’Fun. It’s mostly mean things, but that’s what BDSM play is. Why would you subject yourself to torture if it wasn’t fun on some level? Even when Lion protests that it hurts too much, there’s my weenie standing tall and proud and giving everything away. Clearly weenies are connected straight to the part of the brain that enjoys these things.

i don’t know why he likes to be blindfolded

I’m not sure why Lion likes the blindfold. I mean, obviously there’s some mystique about not being able to see what’s coming. It adds to the excitement and suspense. I guess I’ll file it under Things I Don’t Understand About Lion along with all the other needs for ouchy things. Whenever he says someone on the TV is weird for doing a certain thing, I remind him that he does weird things too. He can’t deny it. We all do things that are weird to other people. I guess people would be boring if they were all carbon copies. (Did I just show my age by referencing carbon copies? Do they even make carbon paper anymore?)

We’re heading into a holiday weekend with COVID-19 cases spiking in a lot of areas. I take the dog to the vet today. Lion has an eye appointment tomorrow. And then we’re cocooning ourselves in the house for three days. At least, that’s my plan. One of those days, Lion will be waxed. I noticed a small forest of fur growing at the base of my weenie. I’m sure there are hairs elsewhere that need to be yanked. Maybe we can play in the afternoon at some point. If the weather is remotely nice, maybe we can barbecue. But, for the most part, we’ll practice our social distancing. We were quite good at it even before the virus.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Control (training)

Male sexual response is highly dependent on age. As we grow older, it becomes more difficult to physically arouse us. Generally we need more stimulation to get hard and our refractory period gets longer and longer. When I was 20, I could come twice with only 10 or 15 minutes between activities. Now that I am more than twice that age, it’s difficult for me to get off less than two days after my last orgasm.

This is very common. Sadly, most of us get interested in BDSM, orgasm control (including wearing chastity devices), spanking, and other more exotic sexual activities when we are over 40 years old. All of this stuff would be much easier to do and clearly more dramatic if our hormones were flowing more freely. Imagine how much more difficult male chastity would be for a 20-year-old.

The subject that’s both appealing and useful, especially as we age, is male sexual training. A lot of the fantasies are around training a guy to get hard on command and perhaps ejaculating when told. The first, getting hard on command, is probably fairly easy to do with the younger man. Us older guys need physical stimulation.

using your other sex organ: your brain

We recognize that our most powerful sex organ is our brain. Extending the concept, suggests that by stimulating the brain we can also produce physical arousal. I absolutely believe this. When I write or read about activities that are exciting, I find myself getting hard. Unfortunately, this isn’t a reliable way to arouse me.

I can’t predict which topic or stimulus will physically turn me on. Apparently there are other factors below the surface that affect this. However, it’s obvious that I can produce an erection without direct physical stimulation if conditions are right.

In “Clockwork Orange” the villains play Beethoven’s symphonies while they torture people. It gets to the point that just hearing Beethoven sends them into a panic. They have been taught to associate the music with a brutal experience.

learning from religions

Religions do the same thing. Over years of church attendance, people learn to associate the music, the smells, and the drone of prayers with a mental state that is both receptive and powerfully linked to what they call “prayer”. While we don’t have a lot of studies on the topic, there is good evidence that when in that mental state, people can make things happen. No, they can’t make spoons bend or objects rise, but they can affect disease to some extent and influence events involving friends and relatives.

Eastern religions go more directly to this mental state. Practitioners are conditioned by the smell of incense, the repeat of mantras, particular physical positions, and other techniques to quickly get into that special mental state. I am a strong believer in this.

The big question is, can we do the same thing with sexual stimulation? I’m pretty sure that we can have some success. I think it’s age-dependent as well as requiring absolute consistency in preparation. In other words, a strictly organized approach is needed to make this work.

Teaching your senses

If you are willing to try, a multi-sensory approach probably has the best chance of succeeding.

1 Sound Most of us associate particular music with events of importance to us: our first dance with a loved one, a particularly poignant moment in life, the loss of someone. You get the idea. It’s the “Clockwork Orange” association. It doesn’t have to be music. It could be the sound of the ocean, a thunderstorm, or any other sound that influences your feelings. Pick one. Produce it when you’re getting ready to begin the mood for sex.

2 Smell Our sense of smell is directly wired to our emotional center. Remember the smell of brownies baking in grandma’s kitchen? How about your lover’s scent when he or she is excited? You get the idea. Since we want to set the stage for arousal, we need a scent that we can easily produce when setting a scene. One choice is incense. That won’t work for me. I am allergic to most of them. Perhaps a perfume might work. Women have been using that for centuries to attract men. You get the idea. Put on the music or sound, and produce the scent.

3 Touch This is the trickiest arousal stimulus. In the beginning, it has to be direct stimulation of the penis. If you are young, it may be just touching you someplace other than your genitals that will work. For us older guys, we probably need direct penile stimulation at first. The trick is to use at least two points of stimulation.

Start off with touching a sexually exciting spot that is not the penis. If it can be a G-rated spot, like behind your ear, so much the better. If not, rubbing the butt or balls almost certainly will help. When you start out, your partner should first stimulate that second spot. Then, without stopping move to your penis and stimulate there as well.

The idea is to teach you to associate getting an erection with stimulation on that other part of your body. You will almost certainly learn to be able to do this. After you do, your partner can try stimulating a less directly-sexual location in the same way to see if you can be trained to get hard doing that too.

putting it together

Our objective is to use the combination of stimuli to produce sexual arousal. I don’t think it’s possible to do this by yourself. You may be able to do it. Anyway, a good approach is to first execute step one. Put on the music you want to associate with arousal. Be naked when you do. Your objective is to learn to get hard as quickly as possible with minimal direct stimulation.

Next, step two: Initiate the scent you want to associate with arousal. The music is playing. Your partner is with you, and you are naked. Give yourself some time. Lie down on the bed with your partner. Snuggle a bit. No touching right now! Just close your eyes and absorb the sound and the scent.

Once you are relaxed, your partner should then touch. In the beginning, she will directly stimulate your penis while also gently rubbing the secondary spot. In my case, gently tickling my balls is very erotic.

Don’t expect a lot to happen in the beginning. You almost certainly will get hard because she is playing with your penis. That’s good. Stay there, relaxing, and soaking in the feelings.

Her job is to get you as excited as possible. You aren’t going for the gold. You want to just feel how exciting it is as she does these things for you. Once you are thoroughly turned on, she should stop.

This isn’t edging or teasing. She should stop well before you get close to ejaculating. After she stops, relax and breathe in the scent and enjoy the sound. She will probably be touching you in other places. Enjoy the close, sensuous experience. After you lose your erection, she can stimulate the non–penis spot, balls in my case, again. Continue that stimulation for a while to see if your penis reacts. If it doesn’t, she can stimulate your penis until you are thoroughly turned on again.

Rinse and repeat. A training session would probably contain four or five sets of “exercises”. When you are done, that doesn’t mean you get to ejaculate, relax a bit, and then turn off the music. Remember, this is an exercise in arousal not ejaculation.

training for both of you

The value of exercises like this is to condition you both to associate activities, smells, and sounds with male arousal. Your partner may well get turned on too. That’s fine, but it isn’t for her. The idea is that she will have a very interesting tool that will get you hard and ready for more activity.

It will also teach both of you that sex with a man does not have to end in ejaculation. Women already know that this is true of themselves. Both men and women have been conditioned to believe that once a man is hard and directly stimulated, ejaculation has to occur. These exercises can help change that view.

Obviously, this can be done in a BDSM context. It certainly doesn’t have to be. Redirecting sources of male arousal is helpful. Most of us never got a chance to learn the value of non-penile stimulation.

Even if these exercises never train you to get hard when stimulated someplace other than your penis, it will teach you both how to relax and enjoy a nice, sensuous experience.

This can take a long time to work. Like most things sexual and BDSM, consistency is critical. Perhaps one of these sessions always precedes actual sex. That would probably strengthen the connection between these other stimuli and male arousal.

If you try this, please let me know your experiences.

By:
In: CBT, Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial
lion's box of penalties
Lion’s Box O’Fun.

One of Lion’s favorite things was mixed with one of his least favorites last night. He picked the blindfold card from the Box O’Fun, which requires another choice to go with it. His second choice was Icy Hot.

Oooooh! Too bad.

The thing we discovered last time he chose the blindfold was that he shouldn’t know what the second card is. Duh! It basically nullifies the blindfold. The problem with Icy Hot is that it stinks. I figured he’d know the second I took the cap off. I overlooked the fact that I don’t apply anything else to his balls or perineum so he knew from feeling it long before the smell or burning took place. Oh well. Maybe next time the blindfold is chosen it won’t be so obvious right away. [Lion — It wasn’t obvious immediately. When I felt the cold on my perineum, I guessed what was coming.]

I didn’t put as much on as I did last time because I knew I wanted to give him oral again and I didn’t want Icy Hot all over his balls and then all over my face. I also set a five-minute timer. He’d have to deal with the burning until the timer went off. No running to wash it off right away. I don’t think he had any trouble with it. It burned but nothing he couldn’t stand. [Lion — It wasn’t too bad this time.]

Despite Lion’s objections, my weenie was happy about the Icy Hot. I went to wash my hands, came back and he was standing at attention. I guess Lion was a horny boy. And that trend continued into his blow job. I edged him three times. Three times I got him very, very, very close to the edge. Very close. If I had gone one more stroke I think it would have been too much. He’ll be that much hornier tonight.

As usual, I have no idea how long it’s been since his last orgasm. All I know is that last night wasn’t time. And tonight might not be it either. Always keep him guessing. [Lion — Last night it was 5 days.]