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In: Health and safety, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion had a doctor’s appointment today for his intestinal issues. Neither of us has fevers. We were tested just inside the clinic door. If Lion can manage a stool sample, he’ll be tested for parasites, bacteria, and viruses. Neither of us is looking forward to obtaining that sample. The more concerning information we got is that his blood pressure is low. It was low at his last visit too. The doctor wasn’t concerned either time. However, Lion and I both wonder if that could be the cause of his lack of sustained erection.

It’s not that he always loses his erection. Sometimes he never gets to the erection stage. Other times he’s fine. Unless we test it more often, I don’t think we’ll have any idea if it’s consistently low. Of course, testing just before we want to play is bound to be a buzz kill. We need to decide if the information we’re looking for is worth finding out right then and there or if he can just test at random times during the day.

The thing is, at Lion’s previous visit, he was convinced he should reduce the dosage on one of his medications. By the time we got home, he’d decided he shouldn’t. This morning he said he should. Will he decide later that he shouldn’t? It’s not like he’s stopping all drugs. He’d just be reducing the amount. I think it’s worth a try. If he’s worried, he could ask his cardiologist for advice.

I’d think, if Lion is really concerned about the lack of sustained erection, he should give the lower dose a try. I don’t think his blood pressure will shoot through the roof, especially if we continue to monitor it. It might take a few days, but maybe he’ll be back to the old, hard-as-a-rock Lion. That is, of course, assuming his intestinal issues want to play nice.

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In: Life with Mrs. Lion, Lion's Journal

We’ve been together for 17 years. Seven of them have been spent with our FLRD and orgasm control in place. As Michael (collardmichaelcom.blog) pointed out in a comment, we don’t seem to get angry at each other. It’s true we get annoyed. I growl and Mrs. Lion snarls. Since we’ve added domestic discipline to our marriage, there is less snarling and more spanking. I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I can’t remember more than two times I’ve been spanked for annoying Mrs. Lion. I expected much more frequent visits with her paddle to manage things I do that piss her off. That hasn’t happened.

It’s tempting to digress into the why-I’m-not-punished-for-pissing-her-off discussion; that belongs in a post all by itself. The simple truth is that things don’t escalate very far with us. I think we both had enough bad experiences in our lives to give us a sense of proportion. I can’t speak for Mrs. Lion, but for me, it’s pretty simple: is it worth risking the most wonderful thing in my life for some issue? I’ve never been able to answer yes to that question.

It could be that Mrs. Lion is a very easy-going, good-natured woman. Her good nature sometimes worries me because I know that there may be things going on under the surface she is reluctant to express. We’ve talked about this many times and she promises to not let things simmer. This seems to be very difficult for her. I’m not sure why. She has to know that she can’t lose me by growling at me or spanking me. I guess there’s a nagging fear under the surface that the little things will build up and I could lose her.

Some psychologists claim that couples who don’t fight have unhealthy relationships. Their theory is that there must be conflict in any relationship. If the conflict isn’t brought to the surface, it can fester and eventually destroy the couple. This sort of thinking was a very big deal in the 70s. The idea was that every feeling should be expressed, evaluated, and resolved. It didn’t matter how trivial. This is a very tiring way to live. We just don’t want to go that route.

I tend to express my feelings. I don’t think it’s a mystery how I feel about anything. This isn’t true of my lioness. However, I think she has gotten much better at letting me know when things bother her. This is probably the main reason we’ve never fought. She’s used to me growling and knows how to manage it. In her role as my disciplining wife, while she has the tools to express her feelings, she’s been slow to use them.

I don’t think she believes she really can. Even if she doesn’t, over the years we’ve worked out our own style of communication that satisfies us. We’ve both been open in our posts. They accurately reflect how we’re feeling at the time we write them. We’ve assiduously avoided any whitewashing. With us, it’s pretty much what you see is what you get.

I’m still committed to helping Mrs. Lion extend her disciplinary power. I know there are times that she just stuffs her feelings to avoid any growls or snarls. I keep hoping any snarl opportunity will convert to spanking. That would be best for me, I think. (Famous last words!)

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In: Health and safety, Mrs Lion Comments

Every so often I think all the nonsense happening this year is my fault. After all, we had a horrible 2019 and I (stupidly) thought 2020 would be better. I am so, so sorry. I didn’t realize my hopes for 2020 would spiral so disastrously out of control. Obviously I’m not conceited enough to think I caused this. It’s just weird that last year was crappy for us and this year, while it started out benign enough, is crappy for everyone.

Even the weather is stupid. We’ve had thunderstorms the past few days. Thunder! I can count on one hand the number of thunderstorms we’ve had since we moved here from New York, and yet we’ve had them for the past few days. Now, the east coast is bracing for snow while we are forecast for 80 degree weather. Things are topsy turvy all over. I guess it should come as no surprise that Lion and I are topsy turvy too.

Poor Lion has been dealing with stomach issues for about a week. He seems fine in the morning, but then he goes downhill. Yesterday he ate mostly bland stuff, but he was still suffering. By bedtime, he added nausea to the mix.  Thankfully it didn’t last long. This morning he’s been resting. When he wakes up he’ll call the doctor to see if he needs a visit or if some drug can be prescribed. We’ve tried everything we can think of but nothing helps.

Needless to say, there was no joy in Mudville last night. We snuggled while the thunderstorm rolled through and I played on my iPad while he snoozed. We watched reruns of “House”. Until we get his stomach figured out, there will be no play and/or sex. I am in full-on Lion-care mode. Nurse Lioness is in the house. He feels bad when he interrupts my work, but I don’t mind. My primary job is taking care of him. It may “only” pay in kisses but the fringe benefits are excellent.

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In: BDSM, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Sex

I have two monitors on my desk. One is attached to my personal PC; the one I’m writing on now. The other is attached to my laptop from work. I’m in my third week of “furlough” from my company. My laptop sits silent, power down. The monitor is black. Mrs. Lion’s desk is in the next room. We are separated by a wall. The door to my office leads to hers. We chat back and forth through the day. It’s a little like the emails we share when she’s working in her office. It’s not the same.

While email is an almost instantaneous conversation, there is a delay in composing replies. Verbally, we don’t take that thoughtful pause to compose our thoughts. It seems that this changes the entire texture of the communication. For one thing, when Mrs. Lion writes something sexy promising fun later, I can savor her words over and over. Verbally, they fly through the air reach my ears, and disappear. It’s just not the same.

Who would’ve thought that remote conversation could be preferable to real life? I wonder if this is a new phenomenon of the Internet age. It seems to me that the immediacy and physical availability we share now would be much hotter. After all, Mrs. Lion can say she’s going to spank me or play with my penis and then walk a few feet to the bedroom and actually do those things. Yup, that would be hotter. However, it doesn’t happen that way. She has work to do so she can’t take a break for some Lion fun. Even when she’s not working, she seems to have a difficult time doing any recreational/sexual activity before dinner.

There’s another rather odd phenomenon that’s emerged since we’ve been together 24/7. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to do anything sexual more than once a day. I’m not suggesting she should do hourly play sessions. That could get very old very fast. However, even when she says she’ll try something again later, like when I’m having difficulty getting aroused, she doesn’t.

I don’t think that’s because she doesn’t want to do things. The problem is probably much more basic. Sexual/play activities are usually motivated by sexual desire. She doesn’t have that anymore. So there isn’t any hormonal drive to engage with me. As far as I can tell, her only reason for doing it is that she loves me and knows I like it. This sort of motivation only stretches so far. In our case, it seems that once every day or two is the limit.

This is where the very basic difference between us is most apparent. When I’m horny, I feel the need for sexual activity. It’s not intellectual; it’s visceral. A good example of the difference between us is our game of Zapardy. Mrs. Lion said she wanted to play it. It’s been a couple of weeks and we haven’t. I asked her about it, she said other things get on the way like dinner preparation, etc. if she was sexually motivated, I think she’d tell me to record the show then later have me strap on the shock collar and playback the day’s program.

Since there is no hormonal need to do this sexual activity, she is content to wait for an occasion when the show is available from beginning to end and she remembers we were going to play. So far, the confluence of those events apparently hasn’t happened yet.

It’s not like she doesn’t recognize this. In the past, she created her “Box O’ Fun”. This is a little wooden box containing cards. Each card has a BDSM activity written on it. When we played, Mrs. Lion would have me pick a card and that’s what we would do. The cards are folded so there is no way for me to see what was written on them. It was fun for me in a scary kind of way. Apparently, it doesn’t hold much interest for my lioness. We haven’t played in months.

The one completely consistent activity is discipline. She always detects when I break a rule and spanks me for punishment. I think she’s found this rewarding in some way. It’s important to me too. I am very glad she does this. I hope we can figure out a way she can be rewarded by doing those other things with me. It may not be possible. Even if she can’t find that reward, I’m very grateful for what she does. It’s true altruism on her part.