Mrs. Lion is off on a short trip East to be with her family. It’s just the dog and me for now. The dog and I have something in common: We both have “shock” collars. We got one for the dog to help her learn not to jump up on us. It’s very humane. I know because I’ve been made to wear mine and feel its effects. The dog feels it enough to distract her and stop the jumping. It is also unpleasant enough that she generally remembers to behave when I pick up the controller.

My shock collar is worn under my balls, with the electrodes touching my perineum. When Mrs. Lion decides to give me a shock, it feels like a sharp hit. I can’t really describe it. The sensation is unpleasant but doesn’t feel like an electric shock. It gets my attention and can make me jump. The version I wear uses her phone via Bluetooth to send a signal to the unit under my balls. It has an effective range of about thirty feet. The dog’s collar uses a dedicated controller that is good for more distance.

I bought the lion version of the shock collar as a tool for Mrs. Lion. The problem is that she doesn’t have any real reason to use it. The short range makes it rather useless for “paging” me when we are out and about. Too bad. That’s one function she likes. We had one with a dedicated controller that had more range. She didn’t remember to take it with her when she had me wearing the shock collar. We got the current version because she always has her phone. We’ll be getting a new shock collar that uses a dedicated controller. It’s a big improvement for fitting. Mrs. Lion had to customize the collar we have now. The new one (link to item) looks like it won’t need any custom fitting. It’s also a lot cheaper than our current collar.

tie me up

Another challenge for my lioness is restraining me. It takes Mrs. Lion considerable time and effort to secure my wrists and ankles and then set up the actual restraints that attach to the bed. We need an easier solution. One possibility that might be useful is to put an eye in the kitchen ceiling. Mrs. Lion can use quick-connects to attach a short chain to the eye, and my wrist restraints to the chain. We’ve done that in the past. It’s pretty easy to set up. Mrs. Lion then has easy access to my front and back while seated comfortably in a kitchen chair.

The central issue for both the shock collar and restraints is getting in the habit of using them. This is on Mrs. Lion. I don’t know what I can do to help. I know that it’s cool when she uses my shock collar. It’s very exciting to know that she can make me do what she wants by remote control. Restraints are big fun for me.

Both of these activities take time and energy. They also require imagination to integrate into our daily lives. I guess the bottom line is that I’m not maintenance-free.

The problem I have with writing a sex blog is that there are times I don’t want to talk about sex. Well, you might say, don’t write a post. You have a point. Lots of bloggers go weeks, even months between posts. Why do I feel compelled to write if I miss just one day? I’ve been asking myself that question for some time. I’m pretty sure that I won’t spoil your day if you don’t wake up to my latest adventure. Let’s face it, there is only so much one can write about male chastity and spanking.

One big topic that Mrs. Lion and I are well qualified to discuss is how to do those things over many years. We are in our ninth year of orgasm control. Mrs. Lion has been spanking me for the better part of two decades. Obviously, we have figured out how to integrate these kinks into our happy marriage. That’s something.

When I started this blog, I hoped that we could give and get advice from other couples. It didn’t take long to learn that our blog isn’t particularly interactive. Some other blogs attract lots of comments and conversations. We don’t. Is it our style? Are we unapproachable? Are the topics we discuss more like magazine articles than interactive forum discussions? I know from our web analysis data that lots of people actually read what we write. They just don’t talk back.

Writing a blog with a large audience is an ego boost. It also puts a lot of pressure on us to keep writing interesting posts. Since we get little feedback, we have to come up with things in a vacuum. Some bloggers use “prompts” to find things to write. A few blogs are actually dedicated to generating these prompts. Nope. I don’t like that at all. I don’t even read blogs written to these prompts. I watch our stats and try to use them to help guide our direction. Mostly, we write about what we are doing and thinking at the moment.

Mrs. Lion and I lead pretty isolated lives. We aren’t very social and we both work from home. Even when we went to our offices, we didn’t make many work friends. I wonder if we would enjoy knowing other couples who share our interests. Before I was with her, I did hang out with people in the local BDSM community. Mrs. Lion didn’t feel comfortable with that crowd. Then we moved west where we don’t know anyone.

If you read our blog regularly, you know that we make our own fun. We are content in our isolation. I suppose there is an area we might welcome prompts: sex and kink. We often run into trouble trying to come up with things to do. We also have trouble deciding what to have for dinner. For a while, we tried Mrs. Lion’s Box O’Fun. It’s a wood box with a collection of slips of paper containing BDSM activities. It worked well while we used it. Mrs. Lion stopped for some reason and never started again. When it comes to sex and play, if we don’t answer the question of what we are going to do, we do nothing.

The Box O’fun was far from perfect. Often, the slip of paper called for an activity one or both of us didn’t want to do. The game didn’t allow for that possibility. I guess we needed an IF NOT, THEN {something else] clause in our program. Usually I was the one who didn’t want to do something from the box. Mrs. Lion refuses to force me to do sexual things. Maybe the IF NOT should be to pick another slip of paper and return the rejected one to the box. Sooner or later, I have to do everything she chose to put into it. I would be postponing the inevitable. That has an interesting flavor.

See? I managed to come up with something after all.

Like most bloggers, I faithfully read several blogs on topics of interest to me. They sometimes provide fodder for what I write. Other times, I find myself shaking my head in disbelief. Very little shocks me. I’ve been part of the kinky community for almost my entire adult life. Mrs. Lion is much newer to kink. I introduced her to it. Her interest in kink is strictly limited to me, as far as I can tell. It isn’t a subject of intellectual or emotional interest to her. That’s too bad.

Over the years, I’ve encouraged her to read other blogs and articles about BDSM, chastity, and spanking. I hoped it would fire up her imagination and make her the source of new things we would do. She’s tried but doesn’t enjoy reading about it. [Mrs. Lion — I liked the 50 shades of Gray trilogy, but Lion laughed at it. I understand the story itself was ridiculous but it had some good sex/kinky scenes in it.] She loves to read Facebook and often takes it as her news source. [Mrs. Lion — I don’t. If I see an interesting story, I verify it other places.] Well, you can lead a lioness to blogs, but you can’t make her kink.

I don’t take that as a failing on her part. She’s very willing to implement the ideas I present to her. That is a big deal. It’s my failing that I wish she had my level of interest in kink. It doesn’t matter. She’s a very effective top and has no trouble causing me discomfort. She is an incredible spanker. I don’t have anything to complain about. Despite the differences, we are very happy together. She’s my best friend. Since Mrs. Lion has been working at home, we spend 24/7 together. I love it.

I think that our stress around BDSM and other naked activities began when we got our current bed. When I needed rotator cuff surgery, we decided that a bed that I could adjust would allow me to sleep. We got a Sleep Number split king bed instead of buying an expensive recliner and moving to the living room. This consists of two adjustable twin beds bolted together. There is a gap between the mattresses.

The bed did its job. I could find a comfortable position to sleep. Mrs. Lion likes to raise her back to read and watch TV. I do too. The problem is that it is two separate beds. We can’t snuggle at night, and play is made difficult by the gap and by different settings we might have. While we both like it, the bed puts distance between us.

Our spanking bench is proof that the bed causes many of our difficulties. Mrs. Lion had a lot of trouble spanking me before we got the bench. She had me across the bed, over the footboard, on my tummy on the edge, and in other places and positions. None were good for her. When we got the bench, the problems disappeared. OK, you could argue that no bed would work for spanking, and you might be right. Let’s consider handjobs.

Before getting the new bed, Mrs. Lion worked out a very good position to jerk me off. We were both comfortable, and she had no trouble edging me. Since we got the new bed, she hasn’t been able to find a position that works for both of us. Yet, when she has me on the waxing table (just a portable massage table), she has no trouble. Maybe the same is true of other play, including CBT.

Regular sex is very difficult on this bed (when we had it). It had to do with the narrower bed “squishing” more. We use the same sleep number settings as we did on the old bed. Maybe a traditional mattress is better for any sexual activity. We don’t have room for two beds. Too bad.

Tuesday night was clothespin night. Mrs. Lion used the wooden clothespins with stair-tread tape on the clamping end. They are very intense. Mrs. Lion found the spots on my balls that are most sensitive. I winced as she put each one on. It was equally uncomfortable when she removed them. It’s been a while since she’s used those particular toys.

I receive email ads from a couple of BDSM suppliers. I’ve taken advantage of sales and bought toys that looked like they might be fun in the past. Invariably, they never got used. This is true of the leather restraints I got after Mrs. Lion approved the purchase. It may be that she prefers the familiar. She also seems to have a strong preference for CBT.

In a recent post, she mentioned that she doesn’t particularly like anal play. I was surprised because we have done a lot of it. We have a large collection of penetration toys (dildos and butt plugs). When she was interested in sex, she loved anal. I guess that inserting things in me isn’t as much fun. I’m sorry I didn’t learn about her dislike of anal play earlier. I don’t want to put her through things she doesn’t want to do.

I think she likes bondage but doesn’t want to do the work setting up and strapping me down. I think that she is a creature of habit. If she strapped me to the bed every time we were to play, maybe the habit and familiarity with the process would make it routine. I don’t know.

At one point, I figured that she might like some activities if she got a sense of accomplishment out of her progress. I suggested that she “train” me to take larger and larger objects anally. It was my idea that she would get a sense of accomplishment. I would if the roles were reversed. She didn’t. On the other hand, she’s mentioned that she has pride in the quality of spankings she delivers. She said she likes to see my butt get red and my yelps louder.

When sex is only one way, it’s difficult to work out activities that provide pleasure for both partners. Mrs. Lion is wonderful about making sure that she takes good care of me.