I like happy endings–both kinds. I’m a sucker for romcoms. What can I say? It’s just the way I’m wired. You might wonder what I consider a non-movie happy ending. Obviously, an orgasm is one kind. Another is a teasing session that ends in edging. Sometimes I prefer the orgasm variety. Often, edging is more fun. I like activity; sexual activity.

If you are a new reader, you may think that sounds very selfish of me. I didn’t mention happy endings for my lioness. She isn’t interested in them. That’s too bad because I love giving them to her. Back in the day, we had a lot of fun. I miss those times. Maybe that’s why sex isn’t as easy to get excited about. I love it when Mrs. Lion arouses me. I always start off feeling guilty that I’m being selfish.

Sex is like eating. If you aren’t hungry, it isn’t much fun. Eating to stay alive isn’t the same as savoring new dishes. After enough time with no sex goes by, I get hungry. I suppose that is when I would jerk off. I can’t do that. So I get frustrated and then lose interest. It’s usually pretty easy to get me interested again once Mrs. Lion gets my attention. That isn’t always easy.

More often than not, thinking about sex makes me sad. It’s like looking into the window of a good restaurant without having enough money to eat there. I don’t want to be unfair in the way I’m talking about this. I think Mrs. Lion assumes that because I’m the one who wants sex, I’m going to be responsive right away. She doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t want to ask her to do something for me.

It’s hard enough to accept when she initiates. I know that there is nothing in it for her. I’m not selfish by nature. If she could find a way to enjoy doing BDSM or sexual things to me, I would feel a lot better. Even pretending to have a good time would work. I absolutely hate to be a chore. That’s why more often than not if Mrs. Lion asks if I want to play, I say no.

Things are still not going too well. Mrs. Lion is still suffering from vertigo. She tried the exercise that the doctor gave her. It didn’t seem to help. She (and I) slept most of the afternoon. The dog woke us up at 5:30 AM, and I guess we didn’t sleep too well after that. The weather has cooled off here. It was 46o F when I woke up this morning (Saturday). I wish I could do more around the house. Stuff needs to get done. I know Mrs: Lion will do them even though she isn’t feeling right.

We saw a commercial for IcyHot Pro. It’s a new version of Mrs. Lion’s favorite ball massage product. This one has the maximum amount of menthol (10%) and camphor (10%) permitted. She hasn’t tried it yet, but it promises to be horrible. When she opened the package, she said, “You are a glutton for punishment.” I smiled and said that I was just getting what she wanted. Mrs. Lion almost never actually gets something she says she wants for play.I provide the followthrough.

Mrs. Lion generally paints a “racing stripe” of the hot stuff from my anus, over my perineum, and along the seam on my scrotum. Depending on her mood, I get a wide or narrow strip. I hope she will just paint a small stripe of that new stuff. The old maximum strength version burns like hell. Thanks to her use of this weapon, I’ve learned that if I’m hard, the pain is significantly reduced. If Mrs. Lion stops stimulating me and I get soft, the pain is much worse. I think this is true of both sexes. Sexual arousal diminishes sensitivity to pain. Chemical weapons like IcyHot Pro allow Mrs. Lion to play with this. The new weapon is ready when she feels ready to launch it.

I have been thinking about spanking. Oh, no! You too? I’m being silly. Spanking has been part of my life for over thirty years. Until I met Mrs. Lion, I gave and received spankings as part of BDSM scenes. Sometimes, it was part of foreplay. It was never tied to discipline, even as a pretend scene.

The thought of being spanked turns me on. I think it is a form of sexual vulnerability. That’s an amazing state to be in. From my conversations with others who like BDSM play, as a bottom, we all feel vulnerable. Often, we are physically restrained so we couldn’t escape if we wanted to. That’s really hot to me.

Some people argue that disciplinary spanking is the real basis for BDSM “play” spanking. I disagree. Until several years into my marriage with Mrs. Lion, that thought never crossed my mind. Our play spankings did a good job of setting the stage for domestic discipline, but we weren’t rehearsing. The play was something else.

I wanted disciplinary spankings because being held accountable offered a new dimension of vulnerability. I am spanked because I did something wrong. I have no choice but to accept the punishment. OK, before the legal beagles go nuts, yes, consent is involved. I want to lose the right to avoid punishment. OK? Moving on.

In the beginning, our domestic discipline was more like role-playing than actual punishment. Mrs. Lion made some rules that I was sure to break. If I broke one, she wasn’t affected. They were rules like not being allowed to spill food on my shirt or eating before she starts. They were trivial in one sense, but useful in another. Offenses were easy for her to spot. It was more of a game for her. She didn’t particularly like to spank me, but she knew it was part of the game.

It turned out that taking this light-hearted approach worked. We got used to the routine of our roles. Spanking me stopped bothering Mrs. Lion. She learned to treat it as an activity she wanted to perfect. I learned that I would be punished every time I broke a rule. My spankings became long and painful. The rules might be trivial, but the consequences of breaking them weren’t.

As we evolved, the tone of our domestic discipline changed. The rules covered behavior that mattered to Mrs. Lion. I am to set up the coffee pot for tomorrow’s breakfast before 5 PM every day. That’s obviously important because if I don’t do it, Mrs. Lion has to go to a lot of trouble first thing in the morning when she is sleepy and rushed to get ready for work. The second rule is that I have to make sure the sliding shower door is closed at all times. This is necessary because if it is open, the dog goes in and tracks mud in the wet shower and all over the floor.

These are obviously very useful rules. Breaking one of them has consequences. I’m punished every time I break one. Mrs. Lion prides herself in giving me a sore bottom that will hurt for days after she spanks me. Good workmanship! Sitting here with an unspanked bottom, I can say that I’m proud of her for getting this far. During a spanking, I wonder why I got myself into this.

When I first asked Mrs. Lion to discipline me, I had an important motive. Mrs. Lion is a very generous and accepting person. If I annoy her, she generally lets it slip even though her feelings might have been hurt. Over time, these petty annoyances build up, and she gets very angry. When she does, she won’t yell or let me know in a direct way. She’ll ignore me. That hurts my feelings and doesn’t make her feel better.

I realized that this had to change. I suggested that Mrs. Lion spank me every time I annoy her. She’s found this nearly impossible to do. I still have hope that she can do it eventually. In the meantime, we have “just because” spankings. If Mrs. Lion feels that too much time has gone by since my last spanking, or she feels that I annoyed her and she let it slide, she will give me a “just because” spanking.

When we started these, the thought was that it reset our focus on our domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion and I can start to forget our roles. A just because spanking generally fixes that. More recently, before she starts swatting me, she will tell me that on this or that occasion, I annoyed her. She seems to be using the just because spankings to punish me for upsetting her.

This makes a lot of sense. I think she has a problem with beating me for upsetting her. I think her sense of fairness interferes. She will rationalize that my behavior wasn’t all that bad and that she was just in a bad mood. It seems difficult for her to isolate and punish behavior that annoys her.

I think this is temporary. By using the just because spankings to cover more than resetting our roles, she is building up to punishing me for upsetting her without linking the spanking to a just because event. Speaking of which, it’s been fifteen days since my last spanking. That means a just because spanking is due soon.

This morning the temperature was a chilly 44o F. I guess fall is on the way. On Monday night Mrs. Lion gave me a delightful oral orgasm after an eleven-day wait. This is about average lately. She has me wearing my shock collar on a daily basis from when I get into my home office until I take my shower in the evening. The first day I wore it, she gave me a friendly vibe and a test shock to get the level high enough to get my attention. I got a vibe the second day and another today.

Things have been pretty quiet around here. That’s fine with me. I’m busy writing and learning about farming. It turns out that the Aerogarden food that we bought with our farms just doesn’t produce good-tasting strawberries or tomatoes. The strawberries have been sour, and the tomatoes nearly tasteless. I’ve ordered different foods. Hopefully, we’ll get the flavors we were promised.

Mrs. Lion is determined to get anal play going again. In a way, I’m glad. It’s probably one of the most dominant activities she can do. I’m glad she’s persisting. I’m not so glad while she is doing it. I wish I could explain exactly why I like this. I can’t. All I know is that it works to charge my sexual battery. BDSM is a necessary lion vitamin complex, I guess.

I’m sorry that this is such a short post, but my other writing project awaits.