I have two monitors on my desk. One is attached to my personal PC; the one I’m writing on now. The other is attached to my laptop from work. I’m in my third week of “furlough” from my company. My laptop sits silent, power down. The monitor is black. Mrs. Lion’s desk is in the next room. We are separated by a wall. The door to my office leads to hers. We chat back and forth through the day. It’s a little like the emails we share when she’s working in her office. It’s not the same.
While email is an almost instantaneous conversation, there is a delay in composing replies. Verbally, we don’t take that thoughtful pause to compose our thoughts. It seems that this changes the entire texture of the communication. For one thing, when Mrs. Lion writes something sexy promising fun later, I can savor her words over and over. Verbally, they fly through the air reach my ears, and disappear. It’s just not the same.
Who would’ve thought that remote conversation could be preferable to real life? I wonder if this is a new phenomenon of the Internet age. It seems to me that the immediacy and physical availability we share now would be much hotter. After all, Mrs. Lion can say she’s going to spank me or play with my penis and then walk a few feet to the bedroom and actually do those things. Yup, that would be hotter. However, it doesn’t happen that way. She has work to do so she can’t take a break for some Lion fun. Even when she’s not working, she seems to have a difficult time doing any recreational/sexual activity before dinner.
There’s another rather odd phenomenon that’s emerged since we’ve been together 24/7. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to do anything sexual more than once a day. I’m not suggesting she should do hourly play sessions. That could get very old very fast. However, even when she says she’ll try something again later, like when I’m having difficulty getting aroused, she doesn’t.
I don’t think that’s because she doesn’t want to do things. The problem is probably much more basic. Sexual/play activities are usually motivated by sexual desire. She doesn’t have that anymore. So there isn’t any hormonal drive to engage with me. As far as I can tell, her only reason for doing it is that she loves me and knows I like it. This sort of motivation only stretches so far. In our case, it seems that once every day or two is the limit.
This is where the very basic difference between us is most apparent. When I’m horny, I feel the need for sexual activity. It’s not intellectual; it’s visceral. A good example of the difference between us is our game of Zapardy. Mrs. Lion said she wanted to play it. It’s been a couple of weeks and we haven’t. I asked her about it, she said other things get on the way like dinner preparation, etc. if she was sexually motivated, I think she’d tell me to record the show then later have me strap on the shock collar and playback the day’s program.
Since there is no hormonal need to do this sexual activity, she is content to wait for an occasion when the show is available from beginning to end and she remembers we were going to play. So far, the confluence of those events apparently hasn’t happened yet.
It’s not like she doesn’t recognize this. In the past, she created her “Box O’ Fun”. This is a little wooden box containing cards. Each card has a BDSM activity written on it. When we played, Mrs. Lion would have me pick a card and that’s what we would do. The cards are folded so there is no way for me to see what was written on them. It was fun for me in a scary kind of way. Apparently, it doesn’t hold much interest for my lioness. We haven’t played in months.
The one completely consistent activity is discipline. She always detects when I break a rule and spanks me for punishment. I think she’s found this rewarding in some way. It’s important to me too. I am very glad she does this. I hope we can figure out a way she can be rewarded by doing those other things with me. It may not be possible. Even if she can’t find that reward, I’m very grateful for what she does. It’s true altruism on her part.