By:
In: Oral Sex, Lion's Journal, Nudity

I didn’t write a post yesterday. I didn’t have any particular reason other than not having much to say. I’m very lucky that I have Mrs. Lion. We love being together and having little to do other than house stuff and playing on our computers gives us a lot of time to enjoy one another. Since I’ve been furloughed from my job — my last day of work was this past Friday — I haven’t had an excuse to wear a T-shirt. Now, I am completely nude all the time. I like the contrast with Mrs. Lion who is generally wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Clearly she wears the pants in the family.

We’ve been having a little debate over the meaning of the word “play”. Mrs. Lion takes it to mean sexual activity. In her book that includes all sorts of rather painful BDSM activities but always ends with some sort of attention to my erection. I’m not arguing with this very pleasant definition except when I may not be in the mood for sexual activity. I don’t think that should stop the other stuff from happening. I also think that these activities jumpstart any sexual reluctance I might have.

Mrs. Lion warms the oil in the microwave to turn it to a liquid. Then she applies it liberally to penis and balls.

Speaking of sex, it’s true that I really like coconut oil when Mrs. Lion masturbates me. It is slippery like other lubes, but it has a slightly different feel. I found that different lubes produce different sensations. We have some premium silicone lube, several different brands, that feel pretty much the same. They are much more slippery and because of that, I don’t think they feel as good when applied to my penis. We have some premium water-based lubes as well. They start out as slippery as the silicone and then become a little sticky as they get used. They are okay but not nearly the same. Coconut oil isn’t as slippery as the other lubes. It’s got enough slip to make it feel good as Mrs. Lion’s hand moves over both the shaft and head of my penis. But it isn’t so slippery that it prevents her from pulling up the skin on my shaft.

I like that sensation. That’s why I’ve always liked no-lube hand jobs. I really like the feeling of the skin being pulled up over the head and coming down. I don’t like unlubricated rubbing of the head, that’s not a pleasant feeling. Another advantage of coconut oil is that it’s edible. That means that if she wishes Mrs. Lion can begin with her hand and lube and then move to her mouth. She’s never done this. I don’t think it would be a good idea with the other commercial lubrication. The coconut oil is healthy to consume. How nice. Now I can be counted as a food supplement.

Hand jobs are very important to me. They are the bread-and-butter of my sex life. Since Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself, she has two ways to provide me with release: she can use her mouth or her hand. Most of the time when she has no plans to get me off, she uses her hands. I’m much less responsive to being jerked off right now. I don’t know why, but it’s much more difficult for me to get close to the edge this way. Even with the coconut oil, I still have a difficult time.

When Mrs. Lion uses her mouth the problem disappears. Part of it might be that for the last seven years almost all of my sexual activity has been via Mrs. Lion’s hand. Blow jobs have been relatively rare. Over the last couple of months, Mrs. Lion has used her mouth much more often. In fact, the last three times she got me off, it was with her mouth. Historically, oral orgasms constituted less than 25% of my releases. Obviously, I like this new trend. Mrs. Lion has commented that the extra time and energy it takes to get me to the edge by hand is more difficult for her than using her mouth. It certainly takes a lot less time orally.

None of this is intentional on my part. I guess it had to happen at some point. A lion can’t live by hand jobs alone. Even for teasing. I’m very grateful that Mrs. Lion is willing to work so hard to give me pleasure. I do feel some guilt about this. That also delays my release. I don’t see any way around this. We’ll have to talk about it.

What’s your favorite way to get off? What’s your favorite way to get your partner off? Has the additional time you have been spending together changed sex for you? Do you have any ideas that might help us?

By:
In: BDSM, Edging, Mrs Lion Comments

I had a headache yesterday. It was almost like the aftermath of a migraine. By afternoon I was mostly foggy with a slight background of pain. Lion kept asking how my head felt. I know part of it was his concern. I also know he was wondering about the likelihood of play. Just before dinner, he asked again and I told him the pain was still floating around in there. He said it figured. When he’s horny, I don’t feel well. There it is!

The steam from the shower seemed to help alleviate the headache for a while. I still feel it today so it didn’t completely cure it. However, I felt good enough to give Lion a blow job. I wasn’t going to leave him hanging when he said he was horny. Plus, if I didn’t do anything with Lion when I wasn’t feeling 100%, I’d never do anything with him.

He was correct. He was a horny boy. One of the things I love the most is taking his limp cock in my mouth and feeling it get hard. Maybe it’s a pride thing. I did that! And then I get to play with the fruits of my labor. Lion made it to the edge and then I worked on getting him closer and closer. I know I was playing with fire. I even considered giving him a ruined orgasm, but that would have been a waste of my time. I wanted him frustrated. A ruined orgasm would not do that.

I think I edged him five times, with the last two being right to the edge. Before the last one, I asked if he wanted to come. Of course, he did! I knew it without asking. Sometimes when I ask, he says it’s not up to him. Obviously, but I want to know anyway. I have no idea how many days it’s been since the last orgasm, but last night wasn’t his night. I want to torture him a bit more. Maybe tonight. Maybe not. [Lion — it was 10 days.]

I’d like to touch on something Lion said about playing even if he isn’t in the mood. He said that at BDSM parties in New York, there’s no sex involved. I suppose that would have been a good analogy if I had “come of age” in said parties. I did not. Lion and I had a sexual relationship before he introduced me to BDSM. For us, sex has always followed play. With that in mind, I don’t think it’s irrational of me to think that we shouldn’t play if he’s not horny. The two go hand in hand. Again, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to idly play with my weenie while we snuggle even if he isn’t in the mood. Neither of us thinks it will go anywhere. But a full on let’s-try-to-get-Lion-to-the-edge session wouldn’t work very well. No matter how long we try, we won’t get any further than my idly playing with my weenie while we snuggle.

[Lion — I think we have a little bit of a definition problem. “Play” to me isn’t just sexual activity. It includes things like having to wear the spiked jockstrap, diapers, play spankings, nipple stuff, etc. None of those things are directly sexual. That’s what I meant by play.]

By:
In: Anal play, Lubes, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion says it’s not necessary for him to want to play for us to play. This seems strange to me. It’s one thing to know we probably won’t get to the edge in the first few days after orgasm. I can see that playing with him then sort of primes the pump, so to speak. But if he has no interest in playing, why would I do it? I mean, why waste our time? Will he enjoy himself at all if he doesn’t want to play?

Think about it this way. If there’s a party you’ve been looking forward to and you really want to go, chances are you’ll have a good time. This is similar to being horny and wanting to play. Obviously, your play may not end with an orgasm but you can still have fun. If it’s a party that you’ve sort of been looking forward to and you really want to go, you may or may not have a good time. This is similar to being horny but maybe not ready for edging. If it’s a party you know you need to go to but you’re really not looking forward to it, you probably won’t have a good time. This is similar to not being horny and not wanting to play. Maybe you have to go to the party. Maybe it’s the in-laws’ anniversary party and you really don’t like your in-laws. But Lion doesn’t have to go to the party. Why should I make him?

[Lion — It’s not the same thing. The thing about BDSM play is that it doesn’t need to be something you do when the bottom is horny. It’s just something to do. I think of it as no different than the punishment spanking. When I do something wrong, Mrs. Lion doesn’t care if I’m in the mood for spanking or not. I’ve earned it, so I get it. This is kind of the same thing. It’s not like having sex or even being jerked off. In fact, where I come from in the East, at play parties sex is never permitted. It’s true that it’s a lot more fun if I’m really turned on, chances are pretty good I will get really turned on well things are in progress. It’s the old “initiating” issue.]

Anyway, I decided to do it even if Lion didn’t want to. He was snoozing around 2. The other day I mentioned setting an alarm for 3 to play then. So I tried to stick to it, but then Lion woke up and went into his office. I guess it was about 3:45, he went back into the bedroom and said he was watching “House” if I wanted to join him. I snuggled in under the covers with him and started playing with my weenie. He liked it although he wasn’t getting hard. And then…I fell asleep. We haven’t been sleeping all that well. Lion was snoozing earlier. I guess I followed suit. I was awake for a little bit, still snuggling. And I fell asleep again. Out cold. So much for playing earlier in the day. It was already time to make dinner so I went off to do so. By the time I got done with the dishes, it was after 8. Lion said he thought we were going to play earlier in the day. Yup. So did I before my unscheduled naps.

In my defense, I had a plan for our early play. I was going to shove a butt plug in and do some Lion milking. There was no reason we couldn’t do that after 8 so I went on with the plan. However, there was a reason we couldn’t do it. I forgot Lion’s shoulder has been hurting. So the milking was a bust, but I then decided to take out the coconut oil and try our luck with that.

My weenie loves coconut oil. He was hard almost the instant it touched him. I still don’t know why coconut oil is preferable to other lubes, but who cares. It’s slippery and makes the same sloppy slurping sounds as other lube. And Lion was hard. I’m not sure how long we were at it, but eventually he said he wasn’t going to get anywhere. I wiped him off and he went to clean up. I forgot he had the butt plug in. That may be part of the reason he didn’t get anywhere. Since he was washing off, I removed the butt plug so he could get himself clean there too.

Even though it was an unsuccessful edging session, I don’t consider it completely unsuccessful. Lion had fun. I had fun massaging him with coconut oil. I don’t think it would have been as much fun if he hadn’t wanted to play. [Lion — Only one way to find out :)]

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

Now that we are both home full-time, there are infinite opportunities for play. At least you would think there are. In fact, if anything we are engaged in less. Part of the problem is that Mrs. Lion is apparently not sure when I want to play. She wrote about this in her post “Getting Our Signals Straight“. This uncertainty is very familiar to me. I’ve always had a serious issue with initiating sex. A big part of that was my concern that it would not be welcome. In the same post, she wrote about using the stop and go signal for me to signal my availability. Okay, fair enough. I’ll use it.

Another issue is that we have always had only one play session per day. I think this was because we had too many other things to do. It’s also because Mrs. Lion apparently has trouble with sexual activity while the sun is up. That wasn’t always true. All of our initial dating was during the day. Since we’ve been living together, with the exception of playing in our sling, all the action has been after dark. I think this needs to change.

I’ve been surprised that even discipline waits for the night. As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, punishment is not dependent on my desire for sex or anything else. I get it when I earn it. However, I only seem to get it when the sun goes down. I think that this time while we are together 24 hours a day, is a good opportunity to break that pattern. There’s no reason I can’t be punished immediately after an offense has been noted.

Another area Mrs. Lion mentioned was my mood. Unlike punishment, she noted, play requires cooperation from my penis. I disagree. I’m very happy she enjoys it when I am hard, but the vast majority of activities we can do in the BDSM area don’t require an erection. Only edging needs that.

I know that Mrs. Lion wants me to enjoy the play. A lot of the things we do aren’t fun at the time. We have a very long history of knowing that regular BDSM fuels me sexually. It may not manifest itself at the exact same time she is doing something to me, but experience indicates the beneficial results will appear shortly after.

The biggest problem, I think, is that I am the only one who can potentially enjoy this stuff. Mrs. Lion’s libido isn’t working right now so she isn’t turned on when she does things to me. If I’m not turned on, she reasons that it’s silly to do it since neither of us is having fun. This is a difficult problem. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. There’s nothing either of us can do to bring back her arousal. BDSM is an intellectual exercise for her. She does it because I need it. It’s obvious why this is not terribly effective.

If she is approaching this intellectually, maybe she should reason that her timing of play activities might be “acting as if” she was turned on by doing things to me. I know it’s not easy to work up intellectual enthusiasm. Sexual enthusiasm is almost instinctive. But if this is going to work reliably, I think she needs a replacement therapy. We both know she’s not getting wet when she does stuff to me, or if I do stuff to her. But she knows that activities would turn her on if everything worked correctly.

It all comes down to how she feels about our play sessions. If they have to include my sexual arousal during the play, we are going to be very limited. Well, maybe not that limited. If she starts off a play section with a partial blow job, I might be erect with very little trouble. If she finds a way to enjoy the actual BDSM activity, the state of my penis or emotional readiness becomes much less important. The BDSM becomes something she is doing because she wants to do it.

I have no idea if this is possible. I’m just hoping to get us started again in a more spontaneous, sun-still-shining way. I think it will be more fun for both of us.