My latest experiment involves my anxiety meds. With the help of my doctor, I will start weaning myself off of the drug that may be causing my libido issues. It’s worth a shot. If it doesn’t work, or if I get too crazed being off it. I suspect, if I go off it slowly, it will be okay. If I suddenly morph into Lioness 7.0, maybe I need to be back on the meds.

I realized after I wrote my post yesterday, that Lion and I had discussed using the glass butt plug again, only this time I’d start with the larger end. I wasn’t going to jump right to the larger butt plug. However, I decided to give him a night off since he’d just had an orgasm. I reasoned that he wouldn’t necessarily want anything up his ass if he wasn’t even mildly horny to begin with. Instead, we snuggled and watched TV.

As we were about halfway through Jeopardy, Lion said it’s been a while since we’ve played Spankardy. I might have to pencil him in for a night or two in the coming weeks. He doesn’t earn very many swats when we play. I’ll have to revamp the rules or maybe just make those few swats count. I could do a warm up and then start counting.

I have a sinus headache. I’m not sure what we’ll accomplish today. I know we have an errand to run either today or tomorrow. I’m hoping I’ll feel better later and we can do some more anal training.

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that Lion took the glass anal toy in so far last night. I got about four of the bumps in easily. Even as I was moving it in and out, he didn’t seem to have any discomfort. I asked if he felt it, and he said he felt something. I think the difference between the bumps and the non-bumps isn’t much. The other butt plug I got will be much different. First of all, it’s much bigger. Then there’s a big difference between the bumps and non-bumps. Big. And, as Lion pointed out last night, that isn’t even the big version of that toy. It’s actually the small version, and it looks pretty daunting.

Once I was done with his posterior, I went to work on the anterior. My weenie responded quickly. I was somewhat surprised given Lion’s issues lately. I sat up and started giving him a hand job. At one point, I thought he was starting to lose it and asked if he thought we were done. It’s a valid question, especially so close to an orgasm. He wasn’t done. And eventually, I asked if he wanted me to suck him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say yes so quickly. He practically jumped into position. I’m glad he was so horny.

Lion doesn’t normally stay completely hard throughout the entire show. Maybe he used to, but not anymore. I always wonder if he’s done. I don’t stop until he tells me he’s done or if I’m done. It’s funny that he wrote about not making any noise during sex. He’s almost silent. Occasionally he moans a little or inhales sharply, so I know I’m doing something right. He also changes the angle of his pelvis when he’s pretty close. I was fighting off a cramp in my leg, and I was about to stop, but then his position changed, and I knew we were on our way.

When he was having some trouble staying erect or even feeling horny, we started an experiment of having an orgasm every chance he could. We thought maybe it would prime the pump, so to speak. I wasn’t sure if he was expecting to come or not. When I say “expecting,” I mean did he think we were still experimenting. We never talked about stopping it. I know he never really expects an orgasm. He may anticipate it or hope for one, but there’s never any guarantee.

On the other hand, I can give him an orgasm whenever I damn well feel like it. Except for a day or two after an orgasm, of course. Even if I had decided we were no longer experimenting. I could have surprised him. I could have edged him a few times to build up the intensity. However, he seems to have a hair-trigger again. If I stop at the wrong point, I risk giving him a ruined orgasm. Who wants that? Not us. So I’ve been continuing. Last night I was rewarded with Lion cream filling. Yum!

After work, I have a doctor’s appointment to discuss weaning off the anxiety meds to improve my libido. Lion needs a haircut. He says he’s looking shaggy. I’d wait till he looks like Scooby-Doo, but he’d hate that, so I’ll give him a buzz cut when I get home. And tonight might be a bigger butt plug night. I wonder if he’ll be able to take it.

We tried the yoga pillow again. Well, Lion tried it. I spanked him while he was trying it. His cheeks were still not spread open enough to spank into the crack. I’m not sure what we’ll need for that. I was concentrating on hitting near the crack and spreading his cheeks to hit inside. Lion tells me I hit to the side if I swat where I think I should. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it when he sits. He just feels it more if I get the majority of the swats in the middle.

Between switching from the wood paddle for his cheeks to the smaller paddle for inside his cheeks and concentrating on the placement of those swats, I wasn’t really able to figure out if he’d had enough. When I asked him if he thought that was enough of a warmup, he asked why I was hitting him. I told him it was “just because.” And if it was just because, it didn’t really matter how long I hit him, so I stopped a few minutes later.

I know the just because swats are supposed to be the same as a punishment, but I really wanted his cheeks open so that I could swat inside the crack. If that wasn’t happening, there didn’t seem to be much point. If I owed him swats, I certainly would have continued. He would have needed to learn a lesson, or at least be reminded that he’d broken a rule.

spanking inside his crack is still a challenge

My issue remains, how do I get his cheeks spread open? Lion suggested trying over the knee again. I don’t think either of us is acrobatic enough to do that. Maybe there’s a way, but I don’t want to take a chance on him falling. I can’t remember if our spanking bench opened him up or not. We dismantled it a long time ago anyway. Oh well. The search continues.
[Lion — I could spread them for you.]

I didn’t do anything anal with him. Maybe we’ll do it tonight. I figured spanking was enough for one night. I still have to give him a haircut, but I may be able to put it off one more day. I’m finding that taking a shower earlier adds to the chaos of coming home and doing whatever needs to be done before dinner is started. I like having some time to decompress from the day. Lion says he thinks a shower is calming and de-stresses him. I’m sure I’ve found showers comforting at some point, but taking one before dinner makes me feel rushed. I suppose I’ll get used to it, though.

The lion may be ready for some weenie attention, especially if we do anal play. It’s been a few days. Even if he doesn’t have an erection, he’ll still like being played with. Think of it as snuggling for his private area.

I have been so tired lately. Worse than usual. Obviously, this is not conducive to working, household responsibilities, or taking care of Lion. It may be one of the reasons I haven’t been following through when I tease/threaten Lion with activities for the evening. I’m not sure what to do about it, but I will bring it up at my doctor’s appointment on Friday.

Several days ago, a butt plug was delivered. It’s a PVC plug from Extreme Restraints. When I saw it, I thought it might be a nice addition to the glass butt plug Lion bought recently. I thought they’d be about the same size at their small ends, with the PVC one having more marked separations between the bumps. After it arrived, however, I realized it’s much bigger. Not that we can’t or won’t use it. It’s just not quite what I had pictured. Certainly, the PVC will be squishier and perhaps easier to tolerate than the glass one. We won’t know till we try.

Speaking of trying, we haven’t revisited the yoga pillow since the first time we tried it. If I don’t give Lion a haircut tonight, we may revisit the pillow and see if we can’t find a suitable crack-spanking position. Lion has suggested a smaller rubber paddle for that purpose. It may work well, but it’s short so that I won’t have the same leverage as a longer paddle. I guess to find a good position, I can use it. It’s not like I have to abandon a longer paddle altogether. I can use the smaller paddle when I want to whomp his crack and the longer one when I swat the outer areas.

Last night, we watched one of my shows. I still like it, and Lion still doesn’t. However, it’s what he said when I told him I hadn’t thought about watching my show in the living room while he watched his in the bedroom that bothered me. He said there isn’t a surface to sit on in the living room. Previously, this was true. The couch was my go-to place for clean sheets and comforters that I didn’t want to fold and put away. A few months ago, I cleared things out. Then, when his treadmill was delivered, the area was taken over by all the cardboard it arrived in. Within a week, I had that gone. There may be a few random things in the living room, but I worked hard to get most of the stuff out, and I’m confident I could find a place to sit to watch TV if I want to.

Yesterday, Lion received some chair pads that are supposed to improve our posture when we sit at our desks. He said it has the added benefit of being squishier for a spanked bottom to sit on. Uh. No. Nope. No way. What’s the point of spanking a butt if it’s going to be comfy? He shouldn’t be allowed to cradle his sore buns after all my hard work to tenderize them. Sorry, Lion. The chair pad can be used for posture, but not the day of or the day after a spanking, making it difficult to sit. He’s lucky I don’t find a different kind of chair pad that hurts more when he sits with a sore butt.

Yup. Sometimes I’m a bitch.

[Lion — The new chair pads aren’t very comfortable. They are soft but too small.]