Every so often, I forget to schedule my posts, and they go live as soon as I save them. That happened yesterday with my “Body Image” post. Despite being so public, I’m still uncomfortable with how people, especially women, look at me.

This isn’t a new problem. I can’t think of a time in my life when I wasn’t sure that I was ugly. I wasn’t fat. For most of my adult life, I was 170 to 180 lbs. This isn’t bad considering I’m 6-2. I was too shy to approach women. Fortunately, a fair number approached me. Still, I missed out on a lot.

I’m heavier now. I suppose age and careless eating have done me in. Still, I wish I could feel more accepted. I know that many women have similar concerns. Body image and self-esteem are close relatives. Men don’t generally talk about this. I am.

Mrs. Lion says that she likes my body. I find that very difficult to believe. She also thinks I’m smart and I’m a good writer. Maybe I’m smart, but so far, not one literary agent has shown interest in my book. I’m looking for feedback that will either end my writing career or give me enough hope to go on.

If I’m going to be completely honest, it would be nice to get validation on my body too. I don’t smile when I publish a nude picture of myself. I don’t imagine any women (or men) find my genitals good-looking. The trouble they may be in is interesting, but the actual body is meh.

Silence is as bad as “yuck.” Agents don’t want to read my book because I’m not interesting. People don’t like my naked parts, so they don’t comment here or on Twitter. No news is truly bad news. I know that people do like our posts. I’m very proud that I have a lot of readers. But when it comes to how I look, let’s face it, no news is bad news.

[Mrs. Lion — What can I do to convince him I like his body? I don’t believe him when he says he likes my body either.]

I don’t know about other bloggers, but I rarely think about how revealing a blog can be. For example, over four million people have seen my naked body. That’s a big number. My face is the only part of me that hasn’t been published here. Every single orgasm since 2014 has been graphically documented here. Any adult can read about my sex life.

I suppose that was my goal when I started publishing. I certainly didn’t think about this in detail. I wanted to write about our adventures with male chastity. Well, duh, that had to include a lot of information about my penis—much more than I expected.

What I wanted was a chance to offer real information about male chastity. Mrs. Lion contributes every day too. She makes sure that what I write is accurate and fills in missing details. The result is a lot more than authoritative male chastity information. It’s a no-holds-barred look at my sex life.

I’ve gotten a lot out of writing here. Mrs. Lion learns how I’m feeling and what I might want or not want. I learn her reactions to what we do. The blog fine-tunes our activities. We are only two readers. There are many more. It’s not the same as just having sex in public. Our readers know what we offer and come because they are interested.

Still, I have no control over who gets to see my bare, spanked bottom or my hairless genitals. If you want to see it, you can. I can’t stop you. I’m generally aware of this on some level. When a reader reacts positively, it’s exciting and makes me want to do more. When the response is hurtful, I wonder why I did this in the first place.

I also thought about which image makes me feel most exposed. Ironically, it isn’t a closeup of my erect penis. It’s a picture I took outdoors a few years ago. I’m standing naked on our deck. All of my imperfections are clearly visible—lumpy lion. I’m not sure I ever published it. It’s me at my most vulnerable.

I thought a lot about sharing this image. It dispels any fantasies about my body. It’s unlikely you will find me sexy after you see it. I doubt you read the blog because you are attracted to me.

The only positive feedback I got from yesterday’s post was verbal from Mrs. Lion. No comments from either women or men saying that they like seeing me naked. This is disappointing but not unexpected. Most women don’t react positively to naked strangers. This is probably an evolutionary adaptation. Men react almost all the time. Also, female bloggers tend to post nude pictures of themselves or female friends. Clearly, they prefer seeing other females even if they are heterosexual.

The nudes of me that readers like

As a male sex blogger, this puts me at a disadvantage. About half of our readers are female. They don’t particularly like seeing my penis in or out of male chastity devices. The male half of our readership appears to enjoy images of my penis locked in chastity devices. That’s fair; it’s one of the main things this blog is about.

Both male and female readers (and Mrs. Lion) like to see images of my spanked, naked bottom. There is a certain sexiness about this. Other men who are spanked or want to be spanked enjoy imagining what produced the marks. I think our female readers enjoy the evidence of Mrs. Lion’s authority. In over seven years, no one reacted positively to the unspanked images of my naked ass.

The ones they don’t.

I realize that I have a fairly typical butt. For that matter, my penis is average too. The only reason anyone would react positively to my unspanked ass or erect penis would have more to do with feelings toward me as a person. Some level of sexual interest is probably needed before a woman would have any particular interest in my sexual parts. At the very least, an emotional connection is required.

What I get from the lack of reaction to my picture is that my writing fails to create an emotional connection with readers. About one-third of our readers come in from searches. These people are looking for information, not connection. In the past, we received comments that some people like following the flow of our relationship. Even though this is a sexual blog, the interest doesn’t appear to extend to sexual interest or curiosity.

Another possibility is that maybe our readers would instead create mental images of us and find photographs irrelevant or disturbing. What about me? What do I want? I like that you take the time to read our blog. It’s important to me. I guess I would be happier if you also liked my pictures. I am OK with sticking to text-only. The exhibitionist in me wants to show you my naughty bits. Oh well.

The logical decision is to limit images to direct illustrations of our topics. The images don’t have to be of me. You have spoken. More correctly, you haven’t said anything.

We didn’t do anything last night. I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why. I didn’t do anything. In addition to not playing with Lion or edging him, I completely forgot I owed him swats. He forgot to remind me about punishment day on Thursday. I didn’t remember either. I guess those brain pills we’ve been taking are doing a first class job!

It was just before nine when I asked Lion if he wanted to play. He said he thought he’d be getting punished. Oops. I told him I’d get him today and he said it was too late for play.

Inertia.

The same thing happened to dinner. Neither of us was really hungry. It was getting late so we had soup.

Inertia.

Maybe we can blame it on the fact that the smoke is clearing and it was raining again. Sometimes atmospheric changes can affect moods.

Yeah. That’s it.

This morning I had an odd thought. It’s not that I haven’t had this thought before, but Lion has been opposed to it. When I first started going to Lion’s house to play, he suggested he should always be naked for me. It seemed like a good idea at the time. He’d be naked when I got to his house. It saved time, I reasoned. I’d get naked too because our play eventually led to sex. After I moved in, he stayed naked because that was the rule. I stayed naked because that’s how it always was. Over the years, it’s made less and less sense.

Lion needs special permission to be dressed when a repairman comes. When we come home from the store, he needs to ask for permission to stay dressed so he can do X. The problem with always being naked is that if anyone ever comes to the door (a rarity, to be sure), he can’t answer it. The old house was in the woods so having no curtains on the windows wasn’t a problem. There was no one to see inside unless they were at the door. This house is wide open. As a result, the blinds are always closed. It’s usually dark in the house. I don’t like that.

We tend to stay in the bedroom for everything except cooking and using our computers. It’s more difficult to always be in the bedroom with clothes on. You can’t really get under the blankets wearing jeans. On the other hand, I’d like to not be in the bedroom all the time. We have a bigger television in the living room. We rarely use it. (Yes, I know the living room is a mess right now but there’s little reason to clean it if we never use it.) I’d like to use the whole house. Lion is more comfortable in the bedroom. Of course being in the bedroom means more chance for nookie and, now that I think about it, Lion thinks we don’t play when we’re in the camper because we spend so much time in the living room. I think my chances of using the living room are doomed.

Anyway, heading into the winter, I’d like to allow Lion to be clothed more often. I know he wants to adhere to the rule, but he’s the one who actually made it a rule. I just conceded it sounded like a good idea at the time. Maybe it doesn’t anymore. I’m not saying he should never be naked. Just not all the time.

[Lion comments — I don’t do well with “sometimes”. The naked rule works so well because there is no grey area. Even if I stayed dressed, I wouldn’t want the blinds open. I don’t want people peeking in.]