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In: Lion's Journal
lion in women's crotchless panties
One funishment that is both uncomfortable and humiliating is to have to wear women’s underwear like these crotchless panties I had to model.
(Click image to view larger)

In less than a month we will publish our 4000th post. It’s a real milestone for us. Statistics aren’t readily available about other blogs, but I would guess we are in the top five of our type of blog in terms of number of posts. We also have over 40 pages of content as well that can be reached via the menu at the top of the page. If you have any ideas about what our 4000th post should be about, please either comment or leave us a note in Contact Us.

Mrs. Lion and I discussed my proposal about a two-tier system to handle any infractions I may commit. We both like the “play” rules and the resulting punishments I get. We also agree that the more serious infractions require real spankings. Now that we’ve untangled the two very different sorts of ways I can earn punishment, there is a much lighter atmosphere here. Mrs. Lion is particularly happy that she can resume play spankings. She also said that she resolves to be much more observant about real infractions and punish them promptly.

There has always been a sort of game aspect to our FLRD (Female Led Relationship with Discipline). It’s very hard to get too serious about me spilling some salsa on my shirt. Of course, we recognize that infractions like this were training wheels to help us develop good habits in terms of observing infractions and then punishing them. Like I said yesterday (click here for post), the punishments became very inappropriate because they rose to the level of true domestic discipline.

Mrs. Lion also agreed that for the most part, sentencing me to multiple days of spankings hasn’t worked out very well. By the time we get to the end of a series, I’ve pretty much forgotten why I was being punished. We’ve decided to adopt a system that other disciplinary couples use: The way to distinguish more severe offenses from lesser ones is by the length of the spanking. Mrs. Lion is very good at disciplinary spankings. From now on, she will set a timer for the length of the spanking I receive. She hasn’t decided what the base duration will be. I suggested five minutes. If an offense is more than minimally upsetting, Mrs. Lion will extend the spanking. She hasn’t determined what the increment will be. I suggested five minutes for each level of offense.

This is serious stuff. Five minutes of Mrs. Lion’s disciplinary spanking is not only very painful, but memorable for at least a couple of days. I can imagine how much I will hate 10 or 15 minutes. She also reserves the right to extend the punishment to another day in addition to the first spanking in the case where she is particularly upset by what I did. It’s possible for me to earn two long spankings if I do something particularly bad. I’m fine with this. It makes sense and lets the punishment fit the crime.

In the misdemeanor category, however, Mrs. Lion has the opportunity to give me “funishments”. These are things that I will most certainly not like, but fit into the category of the sort of play we have done in the past. An example of this would be to sentence me to wear a diaper day and night for two or three days. Another might be spending time in the corner on my punishment stool. You get the idea. The possibilities are endless.

The point is that I am being called out for breaking a rule. I will have to endure something I truly don’t like, but not exactly fear. I don’t like living in a diaper, for example, but thinking about it is pretty hot. I suppose being made to wear women’s panties is in the same category. Funishments represent a sort of BDSM approach to trivial rules. Mrs. Lion, of course, decides which rules are trivial and which are not. Funishments could also include spanking and then sitting on the punishment stool. The spanking would be more in line with the play spanking instead of the much more severe disciplinary one.

All of this is in very good accordance with our initial thinking about rules like spilling on my shirt. Mrs. Lion selected it because she knew I couldn’t help breaking it often. It gave her an opportunity to punish me. Until just now, the opportunity to punish me was used as a way to train her in true discipline. Over the last few months, I have to admit it felt pretty awful if I just got a drop of something on my shirt. Her disciplinary spankings had risen to the point that I was truly being punished.

The training wheels are officially off. We both want to continue with the somewhat silly rules because we both enjoy the resulting penalties I get. Neither of us enjoys the disciplinary spankings I can earn. We haven’t thought this through completely. I’m sure Mrs. Lion could use suggestions for funishments she can inflict on me. She could probably use some suggestions on new rules that would make it more likely I get in trouble. Of course, the kind of trouble I’m talking about doesn’t upset her and earns me the funishments that turned me on.

The ball, or more correctly, my balls are in your court. Give her your ideas.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments
Lion is back. And all it took was for me to agree to do everything he wants. It’s not quite that simple. It’s not everything he wants and it’s not like I don’t want to do it. We’re just trying to get back to a point when things worked. That feels like a very long time ago, but it really isn’t.
I don’t remember exactly when we went off the rails. I’d guess it was somewhere around the time we moved. We’ve had a stressful year and we’ve been on-again-off-again with playing and sex for the whole year, but I think the move is when I threw in the towel. I tried but there was too much going on and I was being pulled in too many different directions. Now I think I can commit to putting Lion back at the top of the list. Well, the dog is at the top. And then there’s me. And work. So Lion is not at the top. He’s maybe fifth. Well, he’s in the top ten. (I’m teasing.)
Last night I tied up my balls tightly and had them bouncing along. Then I used the Magic Wand on them and my weenie. The balls didn’t like the vibrator too much but my weenie was very happy. It still took a little while to get him to the edge, but we got there. I even got a little bit of precum. That hasn’t happened in a while.
This morning, Lion told me he’s been waiting five days. I have no opinion about whether that’s a long time or a short time. [Lion — It’s a couple of days less than average] I’ll know when it’s time to give him his next orgasm. Since he’s back, and assuming he’ll be able to get to the edge fairly consistently, I’ll wait till he’s sufficiently horny by my standards. He may think he’s tree-humping horny but I’ll decide.
Tonight I think he’s in for some anal action. I think we’ll probably start with just a butt plug inserted for a while. I know he wants me to train him, but I think we need to get him used to something knocking on that backdoor again. All in good time, my pet.
I’m also on the hunt for a vibrator that goes on my finger so I can give him a regular hand job with a smaller vibrator. I’ve seen a few but I haven’t had time to really do any research. This weekend I’ll take some time to do it.
I may not always be glad I’ve re-committed to playing with Lion. It will depend on how tired or busy I am, but I think it’s necessary. We haven’t been really happy for a while. It’s time to focus on what’s important.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Sex

I may have made a mistake. Six years ago we began our power exchange. It started with enforced male chastity. I was locked into a chastity device and only unlocked for Mrs. Lion’s teasing and medical visits. We had a good agreement and we kept it up. It’s was a lot of fun. As I’ve written before, I haven’t always been in a chastity device. The first three years were constant lockup. Due to a couple of surgeries I had to be unlocked. We got out of the habit of keeping me in a chastity device.

There’s a good reason for this. Locking and unlocking me is extra trouble for Mrs. Lion. She has no concern that I will cheat and masturbate to orgasm. The chastity device is just a form of bondage that I find exciting. It represents time and effort with no real payback to Mrs. Lion. I have to admit that I’m not completely sure I want to be in the device right now. My coordination and ability to walk isn’t wonderful and trying to hit the toilet while wearing a device just adds more challenge. I can’t sit down to urinate because it’s difficult for me to get up again. Anyway, I’m pretty sure my days of freedom are numbered.

Enforced male chastity is a sexy kink that some men find very exciting. It doesn’t have the same appeal to women. However, like many things we guys like, women we love will indulge us. It It’s pretty easy to sustain enforced male chastity. With or without a device, I haven’t had an orgasm that wasn’t provided by Mrs. Lion since the end of 2013.

Our second power exchange may be problematic. I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge, make rules, and punish me for failing to follow them. I told her (and you) that my motive was to get her comfortable with expressing displeasure at things I do she doesn’t like and punishing me for those violations. About four years ago, we started with some simple rules: I was to wait for her to start before I could eat, I was not allowed to spill food on my shirt, and I had to remember to remind her of scheduled punishment days.

It was easy to observe violation of these rules and none of them had any deep emotional link for either of us. It was more a BDSM game than a serious expression of a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). We understood that this was a way to train both of us in the proper habits of a disciplinary relationship. Over the years, no new rules were added. Mrs. Lion learned to become an effective disciplinarian. Her spankings were unmistakably unpleasant. We experimented with various ways to punish me.

Remember, the objective was for Mrs. Lion to be able to recognize behavior that upsets her, and punish me appropriately. The old rules remain in place. Some of our readers have commented that the level of punishment I get for breaking them seems way out of proportion to their seriousness. We, of course, agree. However, rules are rules and spankings need to be sufficiently severe to send me a message about repeating the errors of my ways.

I’ve gotten very good at avoiding getting into trouble for those initial rules. I still break one of them now and then, but it’s rare. Mrs. Lion dials up the severity of my punishment if I am a repeat offender. For example, I managed to forget punishment day three times within a month. Mrs. Lion sentenced me to four days of spanking for each offense. She wanted me to make it a priority to remember to remind her.

This is fine. However, as evidenced by my post yesterday, we’ve been having some trouble. More correctly, I have. My interest in sex has been decreasing. My ability to respond to Mrs. Lion has, to say the very least, diminished the point of being almost nonexistent. In the meantime, I actually did do something that upset Mrs. Lion and she punished me for it. I’m pretty sure I’ve done other things, but she hasn’t mentioned them or punished me for them.

It finally dawned on me that we now have a true disciplinary relationship. Yes, Mrs. Lion still isn’t quite there observing offenses. However, she has become an effective disciplinarian when she does. She has resolved to be more observant of my behavior. She also resolved to punish me much closer to the actual incident.

lion's spanked ass
This is too much for just spilling some food.

Because we realized the inequality tween “real” offenses and breaking those trivial rules, I proposed that offenses received sentences of one or more days of spanking. That way, for example, spilling on my shirt might earn me one spanking. Interrupting Mrs. Lion could earn me three or four. We’ve been trying that system for a few months. It’s not that effective. The main reason is that by the time we get toward the end of a series of spankings, we both have pretty much forgotten why I was being punished.

The solution to this particular problem is reasonably easy. Now that Mrs. Lion is a true disciplinary spanker, she can sentence me to a longer spanking for more serious offenses, rather than a series of spankings that span days. We’ll have to discuss that.

That still leaves us with the sex-isn’t-so-much-fun problem. We both enjoyed the relatively playful observation and punishment for breaking trivial rules. When the spankings became truly disciplinary, a lot of the fun went out of the game. I stopped getting aroused thinking about getting punished for spilling food on my shirt. I genuinely dreaded my disciplinary spanking that would result in me having trouble sitting down for days. Mrs. Lion, for her part, also wondered at the wisdom of such severe punishment for essentially silly rules.

She commented about the fact that she could no longer “play spank” me. At one point she suggested that she could use other, less-severe punishments for these rules. For example, her current alternate is mouth soaping. I think she is on the right track. I made the silly observation that it would be impossible for me to get a play spanking if spanking is the main punishment for breaking rules of any sort. That might’ve been true in the days when punishment spankings didn’t leave me sore for days.

Now, however, disciplinary spankings live in their own category. If Mrs. Lion likes the idea of varying the length of a punishment spanking to keep it in proportion with how serious she feels the offense was, we could start with, say, five minutes and she could extend any number of minutes beyond that as needed. She could set a timer which would make it very easy for her to do.

lion in a diaper
Lion in his diaper. Maybe a couple of days in one is a good punishment for a misdemeanor.

We could have two classes of punishable offenses. We can have the play class which represents spilling on my shirt or forgetting punishment days etc. We can also have the true disciplinary class when I commit an offense that Mrs. Lion considers serious. By making this division, she is now able to increase the list of things that can earn me a punishment of the “play” category. For example, if she asked me to remind her of something and I forget, she can punish me appropriately without resorting to the domestic discipline level of punishment.

It should be simple for both of us to understand this distinction. I think it’s really important for us to do this. Whether we understand why or not, the less serious disciplinary activities provided a sort of launching pad for other BDSM activities that we both enjoy. Breaking a trivial rule, used make me hard when I thought about what was going to happen next. It doesn’t anymore because I know what’s going to happen and I’m going to hate it.

Maybe this is like the difference between a misdemeanor and a felony. Spilling on my shirt or forgetting to remind Mrs. Lion of something is a misdemeanor. Interrupting her or otherwise annoying her is a felony. Felonies result in disciplinary spankings. Misdemeanors can earn me less severe spankings as well as mouth soaping, wearing a diaper for a couple of days, or other unpleasant childish punishments.

Mrs. Lion used to enjoy thinking up things she could make into rules that she knows I will frequently break. When the punishments became truly disciplinary, it stopped being fun. I think this misdemeanor and felony distinction can put the fun back into what we had originally and make her think more about truly spankable offenses.

lion's punishment stool
Some time in the corner on his punishment stool is another good punishment for a misdemeanor.

I guess she will have to experiment with what the minimum length of a felony spanking should be. She can also think about how to “punish” misdemeanors. She has lots of tools for that. Felonies, on the other hand, should always earn disciplinary-level spankings.

I think it’s kind of interesting that when we began to get close to reaching our stated goal in terms of FLRD, we took the fun out of activities we used to enjoy a lot. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between play spanking and punishment. Given Mrs. Lion’s ability to deliver a really painful spanking, I don’t think I’ll have any problem understanding the difference between a misdemeanor and a felony. A spankable offense is a felony. Punishment will be administered as soon after the offense is possible and there will be no mercy. Misdemeanors, on the other hand, are opportunities for some painful fun.

I think that we have unconsciously developed a sexual language that may seem odd to other people but works for us. Apparently, it includes rules, observation, and punishment. At the same time, as we got better at our FLRD, we discovered that this more serious power exchange is very healthy for us as well.

What we didn’t understand was that we had to separate-but-similar things going on: the relatively trivial-but-fun rules and punishment activities; and the more serious behavioral corrections that earn domestic-discipline-level punishment. I think that if we can separate the two and Mrs. Lion improves in observing and punishing felonies, we can start having a lot of fun in the misdemeanor department.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion had a long day yesterday. He hadn’t slept well and then he was stuck on the bus home from PT for two hours. His shoulder hurt and he was tired. He took a shower and then hunkered down under the covers and snoozed while I got dinner ready.

After my shower I pulled out the rope again but I let him sleep for a little while. Finally I woke him up and asked if he wanted to play or continue snoozing. He opted to keep snoozing. I got him a pillow to put under his arm as the physical therapist recommended and he was off to slumberland again.
I guess the difference between last night and the night before was the fact that I communicated with him. Earlier in the day I’d mentioned using the rope. I followed that up with actually attempting to play with him. It didn’t matter that he declined. I understand. Pain and lack of sleep are detrimental to sex. We can try again tonight.
In a post the other day, Lion mentioned that he liked it when I teased him in our emails. I’d tell him I was going to do this or that to him that night. It was exciting for him. The problem was that I often didn’t follow through. Sometimes I was tired. Sometimes I forgot. Lion didn’t like that I’d gotten him all excited and then nothing happened. I “solved” that by not promising him anything in our emails. That doesn’t work either. I think we’re both much happier when there’s sexy banter back and forth in our emails. I’m making an effort to do that again. If I can just follow through, we’re golden. [Lion — I loved those sexy promises. I would look forward to them coming true all day. So, when Mrs. Lion would forget, it was a big letdown.]
Tonight, Lion would like the rope used, and something else. I’m not sure what he has in mind but I’ll figure something out. He might not like it if I choose Icy Hot. He might like it if I choose a butt plug. That’s just the chance he takes when he asks for “something else”.