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In: Punishment, Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Spanking

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, this has been a very difficult year for us. I’ve had several physical challenges which I’m sure you have read too much about. Our two parrots died about a year apart, and we’ve had to move to a different house. All of this happened in the space of just 10 months.

Through most of this we have managed to keep up our enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). I give her a lot of credit for being able to actually do this in the face of so many challenges. It’s a tribute to our love for one another that we’ve gotten through so much difficulty still loving each other more than ever.

We have had a moratorium on spankable offenses. I spilled food on my shirt the other night and Mrs. Lion told me that she wouldn’t be adding any more spankings for spilling until she caught up with the ones I’ve earned already.

I’ve been reading about how other couples in disciplinary relationships manage. One of the biggest challenges facing us is understanding the process that allows new things to earn me spankings. I realize that seems a little unclear. Bear with me.

In the past, Mrs. Lion has been careful to announce rules that she plans to enforce. I think this is a bit burdensome for her. Other people use a kind of early warning system. For example, let’s say I start acting bossy. Mrs. Lion could say, “That is a spankable offense,” when I begin. She doesn’t have to use those words, she could just give me “that” look.

The point is that she has the opportunity to warn me if she feels I may not understand how close I’m getting to thin ice. He also has the nuclear option of telling me I’m about to be spanked. I think providing warning when she feels that she doesn’t want to drop the bomb, offers her a simpler way deal with my behavior.

Another area of concern is the amount of time that elapses between committing an offense and the punishments starting. For example, it’s been several weeks since I spilled food on my shirt several times and earned 10 spankings. There is no question that I will have a problem connecting my misbehavior with spankings delivered weeks later. However, I am owed to spankings and it’s only right I get them.

Should spankings have an expiration date? If Mrs. Lion doesn’t get around to punishing me within a certain number of days after the offense, why get a pass?

There are good arguments for adopting this policy. Even an adult can lose the connection between misbehaving and being spanked if the distance between the two events is too great. There is universal agreement that the closer the spanking is to the offense than earned it, the more connection will be made between the two.

Mrs. Lion proposed forgiving the 10 spankings since I earned them so long ago. I was reluctant to agree because it feels like I got away with something I shouldn’t. On the other hand, I barely remember what I did to earn them. Maybe a good compromise is to give me one severe spanking so I know I didn’t get away with anything and let the other nine go.

That makes sense to me. The simple fact is that I really can’t sense a cause and effect relationship between spilling and spanking if the punishment is postponed for more than a short time. In my experience, I learned the most from spankings that occur extremely close to the offense that earned them.

The reason I’m reluctant to agree that all of my current backlog of spankings should be forgotten is that I think I need the grounding being spanked will give me. We’ve known for some time that I get a sense of stability when I feel Mrs. Lion’s control. One of the strongest depressions of this control is when she spanks me. It’s 100% unmistakable.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Aside from being busy unpacking, I’ve been busy beating myself up over the loss of our parrot. I just know I did something wrong. He trusted me and I let him down. I’d do anything to get my big bird back. Needless to say, I haven’t been in much of a mood to do Unlocktober.

Lion says he understands, but I’m not sure how much longer he’ll understand. His natural inclination is to want to be close after something like this happens. Maybe he’s just quicker to bounce back. I have the power of guilt on my side. It’s not so easy to bounce back.

Yesterday, we were discussing his still-pending punishments. I know it’s not the right thing to do, but at this point I’m willing to let them go and start from scratch whenever I find the damn paddles in the mess of boxes. After all, isn’t it more important we find his clothes and the rest of the silverware? I guess he’s thinking that getting back to normal should start with enforced chastity and our female led relationship. I’m less concerned with that. We’ll get back to that as soon as we can find things and we’re not tripping over boxes.

Of course, I’m not saying all the boxes need to be unpacked. We lived in our old house for thirteen years and there were still boxes that weren’t unpacked. I’d just like to get to the point that more of our belongings were out of boxes than in. I’d like to be able to cook a real meal. I’d like to be able to find the thing I just put down because I put it on a clean counter top rather than on a cluttered one that seems to gobble up whatever is placed on it.

I know Lion is a sexual being. He craves attention. Maybe I just need to identify two goals per night that need to be done and then the rest of the attention goes to Lion. I’m convinced the goal needs to be to unpack two specific boxes. If the goal is to clean off the counter, I could be there all night. Since I helpfully labeled boxes as vaguely as “kitchen” or “bathroom”, I might just stumble across that one item that has been eluding us. So far it’s been like playing “Where’s Waldo?”.

Added to the chaos, is the fact that Lion’s birthday is Wednesday. I don’t have a thing planned. Ordinarily, we’d either celebrate the weekend before or the weekend after. I’ve been so focused on the move that I don’t have a clue what to do. I did find a steakhouse nearby that looks promising. That may be the answer.

My goal for the day, not the unpacking goal, is to pull myself together and get back on track for Unlocktober.

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In: Sex, Lion's Journal, Punishment

Mrs. Lion is exhausted. She’s been working hard on our new house. We’ve installed our “smart” bulbs in the fixtures around the house. Now using our Amazon echos we can control them with our voices. This is a big help because switches for these lights are in very inconvenient places. Mrs. Lion knows where some of our paddles are, but can’t seem to find the ones she likes to use most often. I’m not sure she’s actually in the mood to deliver the punishments I am owed.

There’s been a lot written about the need to punish close to an offense being committed. This is certainly true when training dogs or small children. I’m not so sure it makes that much difference with an adult. Whenever she decides to administer the 10 spankings I am owed for spilling on my shirt, I promise that I will remember why I’m getting them and they will be just as effective as a deterrent as they would have been if given on the spot when I spilled.

On the other hand, when punishment occurs close to the offense, there is a sort of cause and effect relationship formed in both of our minds. I think this is beneficial because it makes disciplinary pattern much more instinctive.

One of the big problems most people seem to have with the idea of a disciplinary power exchange is the seeming inappropriateness of one adult disciplining another. I think this is far more significant than concern over the discomfort spanking, for example, might cause. Over the last 50 years there has been endless discussion about equality between sexes, races, and nationalities. Political correctness is a way of life in the United States. So, how do you fit in a relationship where one partner is clearly superior.

The answer is very simple. The partner who wants to be submissive or inferior, asks the other to take the dominant role. You could consider it unfair if the dominant partner imposes power over the other without this consensual transaction. I asked Mrs. Lion to be my disciplining wife. She isn’t imposing her authority over me and punishing me without my agreement. I asked for this. She had to work very hard to establish herself in this dominant role.

When we get to times like this, where external situations sap time and energy, a lot of the “optional” activities temporarily fall by the wayside. In our case it’s sex for me, and of course, discipline. It’s not that Mrs. Lion lost interest in these things, it’s that she is a limited amount of energy and is using it on the more important basics of establishing us in our new house.

This is a reasonable way to prioritize physical energy. On the other hand, it clearly demonstrates that these activities suffer exclusion when triaged with some other things. Interestingly, Mrs. Lion does find the energy you deliver some sexual activity to me. She knows how important it is for me. Punishment, on the other hand, is much further down on the list.

I’m not criticizing this. It’s reasonable because even if the lack of punishment encourages me to break other rules, her decision to postpone spanking is very easily reversed and re-prioritized if my behavior warrants.

On the flipside, this postponement demonstrates that we haven’t yet made our disciplinary activities a fully integrated part of our lives. I’m not surprised we haven’t. Even though we’ve been doing this for a few years, it’s still not something we just *do*. I hope it becomes one, but that may be an unreasonable expectation.

Meanwhile, we do have to decide when were going to resume. There is so much work to do here that if we don’t make a conscious decision to fit punishment in, we’re in danger of forgetting about it entirely.

I’m happy that Mrs. Lion does prioritize sexual activity. Though I think that perhaps punishment should rank above sex. If there’s only enough energy for one, delivering punishment instead of pleasure sends a message all by itself.

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In: Lion's Journal

Friday night Mrs. Lion began our Unlocktober celebration. She decided to stick strictly to the rules, unfortunately, and masturbated me until I had a very nice orgasm. I know she’d been planning to do oral sex and for some reason decided if the Unlocktober rule said hand jobs, that’s what she was going to do. I remain hopeful that the next release will be oral. For the record, before the Friday night my last orgasm was 11 days ago.

I’ve been conditioned to expect an orgasm about every seven days. I really wonder if I can turn to a much more frequent ejaculation interval. I always believed that “use it or lose it” applied especially to ejaculation frequency. I guess I will find out.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Lion is busy unpacking the hundreds of boxes from our move. This morning when she woke up, she discovered that our blue and gold macaw died. He was collapsed in a heap on the bottom of his cage. I’ve had the bird over 25 years; his entire life. Mrs. Lion was particularly close to him for the 17 years she’s been with me. He could be very annoying, but he could also be enormous fun. We will both miss him.

About a year ago, our second bird passed away. She was an African gray who was also 25 years old. That’s a reasonable lifespan for a gray. But a macaw can live well over 100 years. We both wonder if he didn’t die of loneliness after his lifelong friend died.

Now, we are without a bird. Of course, we still have our golden retriever and she is wonderful company. Both birds displayed no signs of illness. After so many years, the house will feel a good deal emptier without our noisy, silly, feathered friends.

Mrs. Lion’s on a treasure hunt trying to find various components we need to get our kitchen together. I’m hoping that we will have time to work on my office as well. I’ve been using a laptop as we moved. My eyesight isn’t very good and I will be most appreciative if I can get back to my desktop computer with its 32 inch monitor.

Speaking of treasure hunting, Mrs. Lion’s paddle collection is still sequestered in a moving box. When she finally unearths it, I have 10 spankings waiting for me from before we moved. Fortunately, I’ve managed to avoid adding to that total the last two weeks. This is a bit of an accomplishment given the chaos surrounding our move.

I’m not sure which orgasm rhythm Mrs. Lion will use during Unlocktober. I don’t think I will do very well if she selects daily hand jobs. I think I’ll be challenged if I have to come every other day. It’s not up to me and I will do my best to meet the schedule she selects.