Mrs. Lion is exhausted. She’s been working hard on our new house. We’ve installed our “smart” bulbs in the fixtures around the house. Now using our Amazon echos we can control them with our voices. This is a big help because switches for these lights are in very inconvenient places. Mrs. Lion knows where some of our paddles are, but can’t seem to find the ones she likes to use most often. I’m not sure she’s actually in the mood to deliver the punishments I am owed.
There’s been a lot written about the need to punish close to an offense being committed. This is certainly true when training dogs or small children. I’m not so sure it makes that much difference with an adult. Whenever she decides to administer the 10 spankings I am owed for spilling on my shirt, I promise that I will remember why I’m getting them and they will be just as effective as a deterrent as they would have been if given on the spot when I spilled.
On the other hand, when punishment occurs close to the offense, there is a sort of cause and effect relationship formed in both of our minds. I think this is beneficial because it makes disciplinary pattern much more instinctive.
One of the big problems most people seem to have with the idea of a disciplinary power exchange is the seeming inappropriateness of one adult disciplining another. I think this is far more significant than concern over the discomfort spanking, for example, might cause. Over the last 50 years there has been endless discussion about equality between sexes, races, and nationalities. Political correctness is a way of life in the United States. So, how do you fit in a relationship where one partner is clearly superior.
The answer is very simple. The partner who wants to be submissive or inferior, asks the other to take the dominant role. You could consider it unfair if the dominant partner imposes power over the other without this consensual transaction. I asked Mrs. Lion to be my disciplining wife. She isn’t imposing her authority over me and punishing me without my agreement. I asked for this. She had to work very hard to establish herself in this dominant role.
When we get to times like this, where external situations sap time and energy, a lot of the “optional” activities temporarily fall by the wayside. In our case it’s sex for me, and of course, discipline. It’s not that Mrs. Lion lost interest in these things, it’s that she is a limited amount of energy and is using it on the more important basics of establishing us in our new house.
This is a reasonable way to prioritize physical energy. On the other hand, it clearly demonstrates that these activities suffer exclusion when triaged with some other things. Interestingly, Mrs. Lion does find the energy you deliver some sexual activity to me. She knows how important it is for me. Punishment, on the other hand, is much further down on the list.
I’m not criticizing this. It’s reasonable because even if the lack of punishment encourages me to break other rules, her decision to postpone spanking is very easily reversed and re-prioritized if my behavior warrants.
On the flipside, this postponement demonstrates that we haven’t yet made our disciplinary activities a fully integrated part of our lives. I’m not surprised we haven’t. Even though we’ve been doing this for a few years, it’s still not something we just *do*. I hope it becomes one, but that may be an unreasonable expectation.
Meanwhile, we do have to decide when were going to resume. There is so much work to do here that if we don’t make a conscious decision to fit punishment in, we’re in danger of forgetting about it entirely.
I’m happy that Mrs. Lion does prioritize sexual activity. Though I think that perhaps punishment should rank above sex. If there’s only enough energy for one, delivering punishment instead of pleasure sends a message all by itself.