By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

I’m not sure if it was the promise of being restrained and spanked that did it, but Lion has been horny this weekend. I wasn’t even planning on playing with him last night. As we snuggled it was apparent that he was interested. Naturally I obliged.

I edged him a few times. Technically last night was his scheduled night. I jumped the gun and gave him an orgasm Saturday night. He’s not usually so interested the next day. But here he was, horny and ready for action. What to do, what to do.

Of course I knew what to do. My goal is a happy Lion. I gave him another orgasm. Am I spoiling him? Since he never knows if I am just edging him or going all the way, and he doesn’t expect an orgasm, I don’t think he’s spoiled. He’s probably more spoiled by all the attention of nightly edgings than from a few orgasms close together.

Today we head home again. I’m sure the pressures will come crashing in around us again. I’ll try to maintain nightly play sessions, but I can’t force Lion to be horny. I can only offer and support him. It just makes sense to me to give Lion orgasms when he’s interested.

At some point, Lion will find a job, and eventually things will go back to normal. Then I might not be so generous. For now I’m willing to give him as many orgasms as I can.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Saturday night, true to her word, Mrs. Lion tied me to the bed with our travel restraints. She then used her hand and several toys to spank me. It was a fun spanking; not at all like the dreaded punishment swats. She immediately followed the spanking with a slow session of oral sex that ended in a very exciting orgasm. I  had a very good time. We then snuggled and watched TV until we fell asleep. My allergies were bothering me and Mrs. Lion had a hard time getting comfortable, so we watched an old episode of Emergency and the start of “The Berkeleys of Broadway”.

Orgasm control and the denial that is part of enforced chastity is puzzling to a lot of people. Even guys who want to practice this are often unsure of the reason. Obviously, there is the masochistic streak that revels in frustration and denial. There is also the more fundamental submissive part of our nature that likes to surrender control. Those two factors are probably the most basic drivers in enforced chastity. Oddly, there is a third that is almost completely opposite of the other two: sexual attention.

Without enforced chastity, the only person interested in the state of your penis is you. People, even kinky people, would find it irrelevant to receive reports about when you last ejaculated. Hard, soft, horny or not just doesn’t come up in conversation. Even inside a marriage, how interested is a wife in hearing the status of her husband’s genitals? Most males, certainly including me, pay a lot of attention to their penises. We spend considerable time thinking about sex and orgasm. Sex colors a great deal of our interests yet almost no one wants to hear about it.

Enter enforced chastity. Now a lot of people are actively interested in your penis. Your keyholder enjoys teasing you and withholding orgasm for days and weeks on end. She is most interested in your penis. She loves to learn you are horny. She laughs when she sees a nascent erection straining against  your chastity device. Hordes of people on the Internet delight in your frustration and adventures. At last the rest of the world is giving your penis the attention it deserves.

In our case, before enforced chastity, any reference to my penis and its unfulfilled needs would elicit guilt or annoyance in Mrs. Lion. Our unspoken sexual cease fire was a source of discomfort for both of us. In a vanilla relationship, any male sexual frustration is as likely to elicit upset as it is opportunity. The old I-have-a-headache joke is based in cultural fact. “Not tonight,” is a classic response to male sexual need. Married men continue to masturbate as a way of avoiding these uncomfortable moments.

Sexual power exchange relieves this. If one partner becomes sexually submissive, then an opportunity for sexual dialog is created and any frustration one partner feels is intentional and therefore part of the fun. Enforced chastity certainly does that for me. For one thing, masturbation has been removed as a sexual outlet for me. I’m never allowed to do that and my chastity device assures Mrs. Lion I am obeying that rule. She enjoys my frustration and does everything she can to make sure I am horny as much of the time as possible. She edges me almost every day. I am never more than twenty-four hours away from a frustrating near ejaculation.

So now, contrary to my past, I am actively encouraged to discuss the sexual state of my mind and body. My sweet lioness devotes considerable attention each day to the state of my penis. Since she has no pressure to give me release, she can have guilt-free fun enhancing my frustration. I’ve traded a large percentage of my potential ejaculations for an ongoing, fun sexual dialog. There is no more sexual guilt. Mrs. Lion doesn’t need to feel any sexual pressure from me. She knows that I want her to frustrate me. She is free to laugh at my frustrated grumbles.

Sex has always been currency. In most relationships it is used as a weapon of control. Rape is the most extreme use of the sexual weapon. Of course most of us never even think about that kind of violence. It’s appalling. But it does graphically remind us that on a far gentler scale, sex is commonly used to assert or gain control. Enforced chastity is a conscious choice to delegate sexual control and agree for that control to be enforced physically via a chastity device or other means. It’s an agreement between caged male and his keyholder.

This power exchange is very arousing to the male. In fact, knowing he has surrendered sexual control is in and of itself a turn on. It sure is for me. Keyholders have different reactions that range from providing control as a service to her male to enthusiastically embracing the power and pushing it to the hilt. Most keyholders, I think, fall somewhere between those two poles.

Regardless of degree, all of in enforced chastity share one key value: we have voluntarily surrendered and accepted sexual control of our partner. I consciously agreed to give Mrs. Lion sexual control over me. She has accepted. Our sexual dialog is forever changed. We know our roles and accept them. Isn’t that better than, “I have a headache, dear?”

 

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex, Spanking

Quite often I don’t have no opinion on things. I can take it or leave it. I don’t care. There was an attraction I wanted to see. But it was 60 miles away. On one hand, we’re closer now than we’ve ever been or probably ever will be. On the other hand, I do all the driving when we’re away, so did I really feel like driving 60 miles. And back. What are the other options? We could go back to the camper and enjoy the river. We could go back to the camper and watch tv.

Lion likes adventure. So we drive. I drive. And we find things that no one else cares about. Sometimes it’s a fruit stand. Sometimes it’s an interesting rock formation. Sometimes it’s a small wildfire on the other side of the river. And then we go back to the camper and watch the river or tv.

Two things I have to keep in mind are that Lion doesn’t like sitting still for long and that he wants what he wants when he wants it. He was thirsty yesterday. “Boy, I’m thirsty.” “I wish there was someplace to get a drink.” “I thought we could stop there for a drink.” Sometimes he’s just a toddler about things. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s not. Yesterday it was not.

I hadn’t slept well, my stomach was fighting me, I was tired, and Lion wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Now he’ll say he’s willing to drive but when I ask him he tells me he’s not really up to it. So I drive. And if I’m driving I don’t necessarily want to make all the decisions. Especially if we’re not out there for me.

Well yesterday it did turn out that it was for me but only because we were headed toward the attraction that I wanted to see. And it’s only a little further and we’re more than halfway there now. So we went. And I’m glad we did, but I didn’t want to be the one who decided to go.

I know that’s infuriating for Lion. Why can’t she just make a decision? Jeez! My non-opinion concept creates few ripples for me. Pizza for dinner? (I had pizza for lunch.) Sure, pizza sounds good. Let’s go grocery shopping tonight. (I’m really tired.) Sure, we can do that. but I know it drives Lion crazy.

However, I did make one decision last night that Lion was a fan of. Even though I was tired, I kept my word about strapping him to the bed and spanking him. He had a good time. And despite getting the date wrong, I gave him a wonderful (if I do say so myself) oral orgasm. It should have been tonight. But who’s counting? He can have another one tonight if he’s up for it. The more the merrier.

By:
In: Bondage, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex, Spanking

Do you ever read the right column of blogs? Mine, at least, contains extra information you may find useful. We show a list of recent posts and comments, a rundown of some blogs we find interesting, as well as my chastity and orgasm status. I habitually read the right columns of other blogs. Sometimes there is gold buried there. I like to see what other bloggers  list as blogs they like to read. I constantly change our list to reflect my current taste. Of course there are so many other great blogs out there. I read many of them too. Our right column list reflects my most consistent reading. I often check our blog to see if there are any new posts in one of the listed blogs.

It’s very satisfying to find kindred spirits out there. In some cases I’ve developed friendships which I treasure. As I’m sure you know, there is a lot more to life than enforced chastity and FLM. I am very grateful for the support we get for those other areas too. It means a lot to me.

One of the reasons we choose to write every day is our commitment to consistently report our kink as well as live it. We both read each other’s posts. For me that means I frequently get coming attractions of what is going to happen to me next. It gives me something to look forward to, or sometimes, to dread.  We also give and get daily feedback on our feelings and reactions to recent activities. It’s also valuable that we can refer back to prior posts to verify our memories and to track our progress. For me, at least, these posts have kept me honest and committed to male chastity and FLM.

It’s entirely too easy to withdraw when times get tough or when expectations haven’t been met. Daily posts make it very difficult to hide. If I try to gloss over something in my morning post, Mrs. Lion will call me on it (in the nicest possible way) later in the day. I don’t think this would happen as reliably without our blog. But it’s more than that. You provide very welcome feedback that helps us both.

I’m writing this post from our camper on the shore of the Columbia river. It’s Saturday night. According to Mrs. Lion’s post today, after my shower I can look forward to being tied down, spanked, and teased. We may also eat some ice-cold watermelon. If we eat it at the table, I may have some trouble sitting. Lately, we haven’t been playing much. Life intrudes into our fun.

Speaking of life, I continue to make most of the decisions for us. Sometimes this bothers me since in FLM, while I may be told to make some decisions, I’m not sure I should be expected to make almost all of them. I realize that Mrs. Lion is often indifferent to which option we pursue; like where to go sightseeing. It just annoys her to have to decide just to show her power. I don’t mind deciding. But then, how does she show her power over me? I think we need some way she can clearly assert her role without upsetting herself or worrying about upsetting me. In fact, is the only way to demonstrate power to deny the submissive something he wants? Is the only understandable expression of power being able to say “no”?

Power exchanges like ours need more than an agreement to surrender and accept control. Certainly, Mrs. Lion has demonstrated her sexual control continuously. I have learned that my orgasms are completely under her control. She enforces my lockup in a chastity device and gives me almost no choice about sexual activity. I accept her control at a very deep level.

Maybe this sexual control is the only domination for us at this time. Or, like enforced chastity, perhaps we need a lot more time and some ideas to help us accelerate our FLM. We both need to get comfortable with any power exchange we continue. If Mrs. Lion feels pressured by making decisions she would rather give to me, then it won’t work for her. Similarly, if I don’t have something that will remind me that I am not in control, it won’t work for me either.

Most of the time when we hit an impasse like this, Mrs. Lion says she will do better. But “better” means she will do something that will make her uncomfortable in order to help me. I don’t want that. We need to work out something together. Since we have a pretty good track record and we are best friends, I am confident we will find a way that works for both of us. Lion taming isn’t easy and requires a firm hand and a lot of patience. Mrs. Lion has both.