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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Yesterday when the alarm went off I automatically went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I’m used to doing it in a sleep-deprived haze so it wasn’t until I brought the tray into the bedroom that I realized it was Sunday. Lion’s day to make breakfast. Oops. I guess it really was backwards day.

As I was doing things around the house I was debating whether I should do the laundry. Ultimately I decided that laundry is one of Lion’s chores so I didn’t do it. When he gets a job we will re-evaluate it, but for now I’m more than happy to have him do it. I haven’t given him many chores so far. He’s been very good at finding things that need to be done so there has been little need to actually assign things. But that leaves me with less to punish him for. However, I’m going to start punishing him for things that are not done correctly.

Last week I came home to a mess in the bathroom. There was a white film all over the counter. Lion cleaned it with Comet and it left a residue. Comet always seems to do that. It requires a lot of rinsing to get rid of the gritty film. He did clean it up once I mentioned it, but it got me thinking. If a chore is not completed satisfactorily, whether or not it was a chore I assigned him, he should receive a punishment. If I ask him to take the garbage out and it drips all the way to the door and he doesn’t clean that trail up, he should be punished. If he takes the garbage out on his own and forgets to put a new bag in the can then he should be punished.

On the flipside, I hope Lion agrees that I have been praising him more often. I’ve been trying to notice things. It still seems weird to me to tell him he’s a good boy. When I tell the dog she’s a good girl now it makes me realize how ridiculous it sounds to me to say the same thing to Lion. I know he likes it. The dog couldn’t care less. So why is it weird? I guess it seems demeaning to me. I’m not even sure I told my kids they were good boys and girl. Not even when they were toddlers. I did tell them they did a good job at whatever task they were doing. But good boy is more something I would say to an animal. I know. It’s me. He likes it so who cares if it makes me uncomfortable. Point taken. I’ll keep doing it. So Lion will be punished for a job not well done, and praised for a job well done. No matter how ridiculous both of those ideas sound to me. I’m still fighting with (against) myself about domestic discipline. It will take time. Just go with it. You can do it. It’s dumb. Shut up. (Thank you, voices.)

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Sex

I spent Easter Sunday at a grilling and smoking class. I signed up for it last fall while still working. As Mrs. Lion wrote, I wasn’t enthusiastic about attending. I’m not feeling all that great being out of work. But since it was paid for, and at worst I would end up with a lot of tasty food, I went. It was a good decision. The instructor was excellent and the school well equipped. I came home with some useful knowledge I can apply to add some more flavor to our diets. Mrs. Lion spent the day working around the house. We do share chores. While we may have a wife-led-marriage, we still share the load. In the best sense of the word we are a partnership. It’s just that she’s the senior partner with the final say.

Saturday night I was truly surprised when Mrs. Lion unlocked my cage and began playing with me. That activity ended with a full orgasm by mouth. I loved it! The night before, our regular tease night, I had received an accidental ruined orgasm. I know Mrs. Lion was worried I wouldn’t enjoy an orgasm the very next night. I have to admit that when she started to tease me, I wasn’t very aroused. However, that quickly changed and I had a wonderful time.

It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that our take on enforced chastity and wife led marriage is very much our own. I suspect that most of the people who actually practice these things have also individualized them in many ways. The biggest problem is that the people with the least experience tend to do the most writing in blogs and on forums. We, for example, are not in a position to talk authoritatively about wife led marriage. We’ve been doing that less than a month. Of course, we have shared what we learn as we learn it.

I’m particularly bothered by the amazing amount of fantasy masked as fact on various blogs. Fantasy is so much more appealing than fact. I’m getting better at sorting things out. One blog that I have delisted, wrote several posts about hiring a personal trainer for her husband. This trainer, surprise surprise, also spanked him. Really? In fact, one of the typical ways fantasies unmask themselves is when they discuss outsiders magically participating in their activities. I’m not saying it never happens, but not nearly as often as the Web might lead you to believe.

There’s nothing wrong with fantasies. I enjoy them sometimes. But when the people presenting the fantasies pretend they are fact, people new to our kinks get very wrong ideas. Women, in particular, whose partners have discussed enforced chastity or wife led marriage with them are particularly vulnerable to these fictions. There have been times when Mrs. Lion said she felt she wasn’t doing a good job because she didn’t perform the actions a blog said that she should. Of course, the blog was written by a lonely guy who likes to masturbate to hot chastity stories, even his own.

Even here at The Journal, occasionally some poor soul will write a long comment that is his story. It always starts with his wife or girlfriend surprising him with a chastity device and then goes on to talk about what she does to him and makes him do. Why in the world would anyone want to send that to us? If I publish it, does he get status and credibility? It seems pathetic to me. It reminds me of the guys who used to attend TES (BDSM organization in NY) meetings. They came week after week and asked any new female if she would be their mistress. Now, that is a sterling pick-up line if I ever heard one. Sheesh.

I didn’t mean to rant. I just want to help provide a safe, authentic place for people who want to try or who are living with enforced chastity and FLR. I’m thinking about things I can do to expand this beyond our blog. Any ideas?

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Ruined orgasm, Sex

Today is backward day in the Lion’s den. I am doing chores while Lion is off taking a grilling class he bought pre-unemployment from Groupon. Yesterday he was talking about not going. He’s been feeling depressed about the job situation and didn’t feel like socializing. I think the only reason he went is because it would have wasted the money he spent on the class. His heart really isn’t in it. Meanwhile, I am defrosting the freezer, baking a pie I found in said freezer and doing any other things I can find that need doing.

Last night was Lion’s scheduled orgasm. I was worried he wouldn’t be ready for it since I accidentally gave him a ruined orgasm on Friday night. I was mad at myself for doing it. I knew when his scheduled date was and he’s usually not horny the day after a ruined orgasm. I was happy when he gave the “Lion weather report” and said he was horny. When I unlocked him and started to play he wondered why he was getting attention two nights in a row. I asked him if he’d rather I didn’t and he quickly told me it was my decision. That’s what I thought! Of course he didn’t know an orgasm was on the way.

He was happy when I moved between his legs. In no time he was squirming. Not quite bucking but I knew he wanted to. When I sucked him for a while and stopped I bet he was sure I was just going to tease him. A few more times like that and he must have been absolutely positive it wasn’t his night. Until it was. And he let out a big moan, which is a relatively new thing. He has always been a quiet ejaculator. I think he’s been more vocal since he’s been caged. Maybe it’s all that pent up energy. Whatever it is I like it. That’s another bonus of chastity.

I hope Lion has some fun today at his class. Then he can have more fun applying that knowledge to cooking me dinner. Win-win.

By:
In: Male Chastity

As Mrs. Lion commented some time ago, when I get interested in something new, I jump in with all four paws to learn everything I can. I’ve done that with Female Led Relationships and Domestic Discipline. I’ve noticed that each of the communities: enforced chastity, female led relationships, and domestic discipline have a range of acronyms that rival the Pentagon in obscurity. Here are just a few I uncovered:

PIV This one stands for Penis In Vagina. In the chastity and other related kink communities this is apparently shorthand for fucking. I’m not at all sure why anyone would use such an idiotic acronym. I wonder if they have DIV (dildo in vagina), PIA (penis in asshole), or PIP (penis in pants). Apparently this acronym is the GPS for penis location.

FLR This means Female Led Relationship. In this case, it’s not too obscure and it does shorten a meaningful term. Of course, there’s also WLM (Wife Led Marriage) and FLM (Female Led Marriage). These shouldn’t be confused with KLM (Royal Dutch Airlines).

DD Domestic Discipline. This term is rather vague. Some people, who have formed a DD community, take this to mean a relationship where the dominant partner (generally the male) disciplines the submissive partner. Very much like enforced chastity, there are a huge number of websites spouting all sorts of “rules” and processes to conduct a DD relationship. I think you can get a master’s degree in DD as presented on the Web. The FLR folks tend to make DD much simpler. To us, it means that the female partner uses punishment (not erotic) to help her male.

CDD Christian Domestic Discipline. This is a specialized branch of DD that uses biblical references to justify male-dominant disciplinary relationships. My reading of some of their literature and web sites suggests that this is a lot less consensual than the non-religiously based domestic discipline.

LDD Loving Domestic Discipline. Some people insist that this is different than just DD, but since all domestic discipline is consensual, the distinction here is probably just Internet nit picking.

TTWD This Thing We Do is a euphemistic reference to Domestic Discipline that some people prefer.

HOH Head Of Household. This is the DD boss, usually the husband.

DW Disciplinary Wife. This is used instead of HOH when referring to a wife-dominant relationship.

TiH I admit this one stumped me. It stands for Taken in Hand and it references the submissive partner in a domestic discipline relationship. It’s a sweet euphemism for submissive partner.  It’s actually nice, if not necessary.

BSM This refers to the Blended Spanking Method (no kidding). The DD folks apparently use this term to “warm up” the TiH for a severe spanking. Seems to me that defeats the point. More like an erotic fantasy to me.

CD The chastity folks use this to reference a Chastity Device. This is any device that prevents sexual access to genitals. Nowadays, it almost always refers to a male chastity device, though it can also mean one intended for females.

JB is a Jail Bird chastity device made by Mature Metal. So many people have them that an acronym makes it easy to reference it for the typing impaired.

CB refers to one of the CBx (CB3000, CB2000, etc.) devices.

This all reminds me of the 10-4 Good Buddy days of CB radio. The specialized, mostly-fantasy websites create new acronyms every day. I think it helps people feel like they belong to the in-crowd by understanding the crypto-talk on these sites. All I can say is: Our FLR, WLM with DD is progressing well. My JB CD prevents me from any PIV at all. Of course, when I break a rule, as the TiH, the HOH makes sure I get severe DD.

Yeah!