By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Rules

The other day, Lion made a list of Good Lion Rules. In response to my post from a few days ago he made a rule never to remind me that he’s horny. I should know he’s horny and I don’t need a commercial for it. I have two issues with this rule.

1) Should I know he’s horny? Do I know? Contrary to my previous beliefs, Lion is not always horny. In addition, he may be horny in the afternoon but not at night. He does go through cycles where he’s not very horny for a few days at a time. Whether it’s from age, tiredness, stress, etc. he just doesn’t want sex and sometimes no amount of coaxing will make it happen. Is that ok? Of course it is. He is certainly allowed to postpone play or an orgasm if he is not interested. I’ll want to know why, of course. My primary responsibility is his well-being, but I will never insist that he perform if he is not up to it.

2) I never said he killed the mood. In my post I was giving examples of the differences between us. He thinks about sex more than I do. I wasn’t thinking about his being horny. I was thinking it was nice to be close. Two different points of view of the same moment in time. Knowing that he was horny didn’t make it any less nice to be close to him. I think it’s nice to hear that he’s horny. Last night I had to ask. It’s nicer to have that information supplied. On the other hand, I don’t need to hear it hourly. A few times a day will suffice. It makes me smile when I get an email that tells me he’s horny. His emails usually do brighten my day, but to know he’s horny really makes my day.

Once again, we need to find a balance. How many times can he tell me before it gets annoying? I don’t have a number in mind. I can’t tell him that today if he tells me six times that will be fine, but tomorrow he better not tell me more than twice. Unfortunately it won’t be that cut and dry. I do know that, up to this point, he has never crossed that threshold. Yes, hourly would be crossing the threshold. Beyond that we’ll have to play it by ear.

[Lion — Ok, point taken. I will do sexual weather reports at least twice daily. If I do too many, I risk a spanking. That’s an incentive to become a good forecaster.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Yesterday there was quite a bit of reaction to my post about my self-imposed rules to be a better lion. I am grateful for the support. Mrs. Lion has a very difficult challenge. It’s not that I am particularly difficult, well maybe I am, but it has more to do with her feeling confident in her decisions and actions. Over the last year or so she has gained much more confidence and authority as my keyholder. I can’t con her into giving me orgasms anymore. I come when she decides. I don’t get input unless I need to delay an orgasm. There is nothing I can do, other than use a coupon, do get an orgasm when I want. One reason I don’t use my orgasm coupons is that I like it this way. I surrendered control. That’s the deal and it is exactly what I am getting now.

FLR is a logical extension of our enforced chastity. If anything, FLR is even more exotic than enforced chastity. In a very real way, everyone practicing FLR is also probably practicing orgasm control too. Surrender includes everything, even sex. On the other hand, enforced chastity is only about sex. It requires a much more limited surrender on the part of the male. In a way, at least in our case, it was the enforced chastity that made it clear to me that I would be even happier with a much more general surrender.

Once more, Mrs. Lion agreed. Once more she is taking baby steps trying on her expanded authority. She has begun perfecting Domestic Discipline (DD). She has very successfully learned to administer a disciplinary spanking that is absolutely no fun to me. I like being spanked, but her disciplinary spankings are no fun at all. I dread getting one. Most scary for me, she is just starting. As her confidence grows, my discomfort and the color of my bottom will deepen. I actually look forward to that; not because I want more severe punishment, but because it means that Mrs. Lion has embraced her role and wants to make her point(s) in a forceful way I won’t forget.

I know that typical FLR fantasies refer to very severe DD as a key component of the domination. I am not referencing a fantasy here. I know that while the spankings I have been getting really hurt, they are rather brief and both of us are still learning. This post is yet another case of me creating a situation I will probably regret.

You may wonder why I would do that. Me too! Actually, it is because I want to focus my surrender. I want FLR, like chastity to become Mrs. Lion’s. Yes, I asked for both. I don’t think I could end my enforced chastity even if I want to. Mrs. Lion has embraced it and has found real benefits in my surrender. FLR is currently in the “it’s Lion’s thing” phase. It will take a lot before it too moves to the point where I can’t control any part of it, or stop it, no matter how much I try.

It’s only when we reach that point that we will benefit the most. Yes, FLR and enforced chastity are consensual. Both also involve full-time power exchange. At some point once the limits are well understood, the power exchanged evolves. The submissive partner completely accepts the good will and the love of the dominant partner. Input is still accepted, but ending the activities is no longer in the power of the submissive partner.

It’s that way with our enforced chastity. Even though we had negotiated a review date in March 2016, we both know that nothing will change at that time. Mrs. Lion has decided there is no reason for me to be wild again. I am permanently and happily caged for good. I don’t know if FLR will turn out the same way. I think we both sense that it may turn out the same way as enforced chastity. The power exchange isn’t easy for either of us, but the deeper into it we travel, the happier our marriage. I don’t understand why, but we have both independently observed this about chastity. I am pretty sure that FLR will continue making things better and better.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

As I was tying Lion to the bed last night he told me his camera was on his dresser in case I wanted to take a picture of his red buns. I hadn’t thought about it. I rarely think about taking pictures of the things we do. So I took that to mean that he wanted a picture.  No problem. (Click here to see it.)

I knew he had been dreading punishment all day. In his email early in the day he made it sound like I would leave him bruised and bloodied. As if this was the punishment to end all punishments. I’m not sure why. He had one infraction on the list. It wasn’t even a particularly terrible one. He’d made me feel bad. And? Nope. That was it. So why would this punishment be worse than any other? I’m wondering if part of the punishment is the time leading up to the actual swats. You know, you crashed Dad’s car and you know you’re in for it, but once your imagination takes hold you’re sure Dad’s going to kick you out of the house and disown you. In reality the repair costs $500 which you pay him back a little at a time from your cashier job.

Once I finished with Lion’s very hard swats I took a picture. He wasn’t particularly red. He said if I did more swats but maybe not as hard it would show up better in the picture. Am I punishing him so he remembers what he did and, hopefully, doesn’t do it again? Or am I punishing him for the camera? His red butt does remind me that he’s probably still feeling it, but between feeling it and seeing it, I’d rather have him feel it longer. I don’t know if a few harder swats make him feel it longer or not. I’m still experimenting. I know they hurt like hell at the time, based on his yelling and squirming.

Lion wonders if I should be punishing as he makes mistakes. Maybe what I should do is ask him what’s on his list more often. Even on non-punishment nights. That might convince him that I’m paying attention. Whomping him on specific days gives me time to consider the “crime”. I was really mad when he did X, but after talking to him about it I understand why he did it and I’m not so mad right now. Y didn’t bother me very much at the time, but after thinking about it, it’s really starting to piss me off. I don’t care why he did Z, he should never do that again. For now, we’ll stick to Mondays and Thursdays as punishment days.

By:
In: Male Chastity

Last night was punishment night. I had one (major) offense. As discussed further in this post, I had hurt her feelings by inappropriately responding to an idea of hers. As she promised, she got out the restraints and fixed me firmly to the bed, face down. I don’t know how many swats I got, but each one was very painful and I tried hard to escape them. Of course, as she planned, I couldn’t. It still hurts, a stinging sensation when I sit. She used the bloodwood paddle, hitting me with the side that has the non-skid sandpaper-like material applied. When she was done, she said she used very hard swats. I told her that I guessed she might have. She took a picture. I don’t look as sore as I feel. I’m not including the picture. You have to be tired of looking at my ass. If you do want to see the result, click here for a picture.

Once I was tied down, she asked me why I needed to be spanked. I told her. It felt humiliating to admit it while in such a vulnerable position. I was not looking forward to this punishment. For the record, while I normally love to be tied down, I did not enjoy or find tonight’s bondage arousing. Tonight was not a play night. The last time I was punished it did happen on a play night. Staying locked in my cage and having no release or play to anticipate heightens the punishment. Our next scheduled punishment day is April 6. I hope there will be no need for any spanking. It’s also not a play night.

I’m not sure if these scheduled punishment nights are working for Mrs. Lion. We set this up when it was anticipated that various small offenses would quickly accumulate and by scheduling specific days for punishment (Monday and Thursday), it would make things easier on Mrs. Lion. We don’t seem to be accumulating little things. Of course, Mrs. Lion may be planning to find more things that need correction. In that case, the schedule does make sense. If not, perhaps she should punish when she decides it would be helpful. If too much time goes by without punishment (a week?), it might be helpful to provide a “maintenance” spanking so neither of us forgets the power exchange.

At least for me, nothing is as simple as it seems. This is particularly true of enforced chastity and FLR (Female Led Relationship). I’ve managed to make every mistake in the book. The longer we are doing this, the more effect my mistakes have on Mrs. Lion. For example, the other night we were snuggling. I just had to remind her that I was horny. Obviously I was. It had been more than a week since my last orgasm. My commercial for an orgasm was a mood killer for her. Earlier, I objected strongly to her idea of giving me “honey-do” lists of chores. It made her feel badly. She felt it was her fault that I was unhappy. In a perfect world that stuff would make her angry rather than hurt. But that isn’t going to happen. She loves me and feels sad when she thinks she has made me unhappy.

So, my dear lioness internalizes my missteps instead of correcting them. That isn’t a criticism of her. She is as new to all this as I am. She is particularly vulnerable now. I’m being selfish if I think she should automatically know exactly what to do in every case. She shouldn’t. It’s too easy for her to think this is her problem. If she only had a thicker skin. If she only disciplined me when I react badly. So many “If only’s”. So much lioness internalizing. No lion blaming. I have to take responsibility for my actions, especially the ones that cause my love pain.

Blogs that feature male-submissive fantasies like to include lists of things that a submissive should do. I hate those lists. Most of the time they include absolutely stupid “rules”. Today I am publishing a list. This list is not a set of rules for anyone but me. It is my list of things I need to do in order to make my enforced chastity and submission work for both of us. I’m sure there are more things I need to do as well. This list addresses the things that have hurt Mrs. Lion’s feelings.

  1. Never object to any thoughts Mrs. Lion has to enhance or change my submission or chastity. Accept her ideas and encourage her to implement them. The only answer to questions about advancing her authority is “Yes”.
  2. Never remind Mrs. Lion that I am horny. She knows me and doesn’t need commercials for an orgasm.
  3. Never remind Mrs. Lion it is play night. Only remind her of things she asks me to remember for her.
  4. Gracefully accept punishments, restrictions, and rules.
  5. Obey any requests or orders. Do not object. Ever!
  6. Always thank her for anything she does: punishments, orders, chores, and rewards.
  7. Enthusiastically embrace my chastity and submission.
  8. Always remember that Mrs. Lion is doing things in my best interest. No questions. No objections.

That’s my current list. If I expect FLR to work, I have to make these changes now. Our chastity is running smoothly, but it will be better for Mrs. Lion if I follow these rules. I suspect this list is applicable to anyone in FLR or enforced chastity. I know I won’t always successfully implement every item. Mrs. Lion, please punish me if I forget. The more successful I am in following these rules, the better our life under FLR will be.