As you read in Lion’s post this morning, he didn’t have his scheduled orgasm last night. After dinner I wasn’t feeling well and he just wasn’t that horny. I’m sure he would have been hornier when I got through with his spanking, but he wanted to wait until I could enjoy myself too. Not that I enjoy myself when I spank him. But enjoy giving him a blow job.

This morning I was thinking about the delay in his orgasm and suddenly it occurred to me that if he didn’t have a scheduled date I can adjust for his horniness level. Duh! I hadn’t thought of that before. So what if I think he should have an orgasm on the third Thursday in August. If he’s not horny on that day he won’t have one. No harm no foul. He’d never know I wanted him to have one. On the other hand, if I want to share that with him to let him know what he missed then I can do that too. Aw, too bad, Lion. Tonight was orgasm night but *insert reason* so now you don’t get one.

I’m sure there will be times, like last night, that he won’t really care if it gets delayed. Other times he will. That’s the chance he took when he asked me to lock him up, be in power, and lead the sexual relationship. Silly boy.

I wish I had more conviction than I sound like I have. This is one of those times that I’m talking a good game. This aha moment came to me just a few minutes ago so I’m all full of confidence. When I actually put it into practice I will be a bundle of nerves. Not that Lion won’t go along with it, but that I can pull it off. It’s very easy for me to be nice to him. It still bothers me to be mean to him even if it’s what he wants.

Even something as simple as touching his balls on a daily basis seems strange. Not that I don’t want to touch them. I do that all the time. I’m just more likely to touch his buns than his balls. I can see how touching his balls would have more significance from a chastity point of view, but I don’t see why touching his buns doesn’t have the same effect. Is it just the proximity to Mr. Weenie? His buns are just as much mine as his cock and balls are. Oh, well. Something else I don’t understand, but I’ll do it because he wants it.

So this afternoon, we both forgot we have plans tonight, I will tie him to the bed and give him his spanking. And then, after he’s all nice and rosy cheeked I will give him one of my patented Lioness blow jobs. And we will enter the realm of non-scheduled orgasms.

frilly male panties
At first the idea of wearing panties may be exciting. After the first week of wearing them, it loses the thrill and becomes a potent symbol of submission.

First, the news. Yesterday was my scheduled orgasm day after a nine day wait. I wasn’t very horny. The reason, I think, is that I had two ruined orgasms last week. It makes my real wait only a couple of days. Mrs. Lion was a bit under the weather. Her stomach was bothering her. So, we rescheduled for today. I hope that later I will be tied up, spanked, and given a great oral orgasm. But let’s see how Mrs. Lion is feeling.

Today, I want to talk about autopilot. This is control that doesn’t require direct effort on the part of the dominant partner. In typical BDSM, the actual domination and submission is practiced over the course of a scene. For part of an evening, the top does those nasty things to the bottom. At the end, both go back to their normal lives. FLR and enforced chastity generally extend over very long periods of time: years for most. This requires a different strategy to maintain the power exchange. That’s where autopilot enters.

The objective is for the submissive partner to feel the power of the top all of the time. Clearly, no top or keyholder has the time or energy to micromanage and supervise her male full time. One of the best things about wearing a chastity device is that it acts as a full time reminder of the keyholder’s power. Erections and sexual release are impossible. The device is locked on and at some level the male is constantly aware it is there over his favorite toy. It definitely works that way for me. I can’t forget that Mrs. Lion owns my sex life.

When more extensive power exchange is wanted, i.e.: FLR, other techniques might be helpful. Most, if not all, males who want this sort of relationship have fantasies where he is required to follow “rules”. These rules tend to be slightly humiliating requirements for him to follow at all times. If something is to be full time, like the chastity device, it has to be generally invisible, or at least explainable,  to the outside world and not prevent him from leading a normal life as far as strangers are concerned. This is surprisingly easy to do and even easier to enforce.

A few of the possibilities are: nudity when at home, wearing panties, shaved pubes and other body areas (pits, chest, ass, legs), diapers, etc. You get the idea. None of these rules require much effort for the top. All keep the bottom very focused on his role. These rules do require some work on the part of the top to have the maximum effect. At least once daily she should “inspect” him to assure he is following the rule. A quick, discreet panty check somewhere in public is excellent. Diapers, particularly when wet are easy to detect with a quick touch. The keyholder should make a point of chastity inspections at least once a day. This should include handling the cage and his balls. It’s a powerful reminder of her power.

I’ve asked for some of these from time to time. I just knew they were in my fantasies. I hadn’t taken the time to consider why I wanted, for example, to wear panties. I isn’t because I like them. I absolutely don’t. But that’s sort of the point. It’s something I wouldn’t do on my own. Just by having to wear them sends a powerful message about Mrs. Lion’s power. As a matter of fact, me in panties does nothing for her either. I am not attractive in frilly undies. In fact, all of these rules are unlikely to do anything for the top. Surprisingly, after a short initial period of excitement, the bottom will stop liking it too. That’s when the rules are working. They rub his nose in the fact that he has no control. That’s the point of what we are doing, after all.

I told Lion the other night that he’d get a nice spanking today. One that he might need to be tied down for. As if he ever needs a reason to be tied down. That’s a treat all unto itself for him. And he wouldn’t really need to be tied down if I do the spanking correctly. But, like I said, tying him down is an added treat.

He hasn’t had a nice long play session in a while. I’ve been too busy and tired. Without my second job I can be a lioness of leisure on the weekends. That probably means Lion will get a lot more attention. Good and bad. I can also pay more attention to his mistakes which will then be added to his punishment list. Uh oh. Poor Lion. But I’m sure he’ll be happier too. He likes being the center of my attention, no matter what kind of attention it is.

I think we can both benefit from the added distraction of a long play session. There’s been too much bad stuff happening. It would be easy to get dragged down. Playing is a good way to keep us involved with each other. We are normally the center of each other’s world, but no more so than when I’m whomping on his butt or pegging him. It’s just me and my Lion. And by the end of the night he’ll receive his orgasm. He hasn’t been too horny lately. I’m sure that will change. He’s never said no after a good whomping, especially when he’s been restrained.

Since I suggested we incorporate Female Led Relationship (FLR) / domestic discipline in our marriage, Mrs. Lion has been giving me “maintenance spankings” every day. Her idea, as she wrote in a post, was to give me small punishment spankings every night as a way to get used to disciplining me. As she said, it took her a while to feel good about edging me; in the beginning she felt she was being cruel. So, by giving me daily punishment spankings, she can desensitize herself about hurting me.

I agreed it was a good idea. I am using the opportunity to be better behaved when getting hard swats. I’m not doing very well. I try to get away. I know that people who have experienced punishment spankings as children learn to hold still and take the swats. Failure to do that resulted in restarting the spanking. On occasion, Mrs. Lion has added swats if I do try to squirm away. I’m not learning very well. I suspect it will take a long time for me to learn to hold still. Mrs. Lion has gotten very good at administering painful swats. She appears to be getting the experience she wanted.

I know from my prior experience that there is a very big difference between punishment spanking and play spanking. Both end up at the same intensity, but play spankings start soft and get harder as the bottom’s endorphin level rises. That way the spanking never really hurts. I know that if the pace is exactly right, the spanking feels good even though the swats are at full punishment force. Obviously, in a punishment spanking, it is supposed to hurt. The swats start at full, painful intensity. That’s what makes it difficult to administer.

For Mrs. Lion or any other dominant partner to be effective with punishment, she needs to be unconcerned with my reactions and perform the spanking with the intent of sending a clear message. Mrs. Lion has no history of corporeal punishment, giving or receiving, so there is no context for this new FLR punishment regime. I have no experience as the punishee, so I’m not much help.

If punishment is to be part of a relationship, the punisher has to be comfortable making her partner unhappy at times. That, after all, is the entire point of punishment. Right? There is a very positive benefit of punishment: once completed, there is no guilt. If I do something wrong and I get punished, the case is closed and I have paid the price for my transgression. No guilt. A sore bottom, but no guilt. That works for me.