Lion Coupons Revealed
Mrs. Lion wondered what coupons I have. Here is the inventory of coupons available to me as of today:
3 One day uncaged1 Weekend breakfast of my choice
1 Orgasm of my choice (oral, etc.)
2 Lion’s choice: anything I want
6 Extra play sessions (non-orgasmic)
1 Deduct one misbehavior from offense list
3 Reduce wait by one day
1 Weekend breakfast
That’s quite a pile of goodies! Of course, I can’t use the reduce wait time coupons since I don’t have any idea when I will next orgasm. The others, however are available. Some expire by 8/1. Most are available until used. I’m not sure I will use the orgasm coupon. Though, I may change my mind over time. It doesn’t expire.
It’s Good to be Good
Lion was a very good boy yesterday. He reminded me it was punishment day. He had nothing on his punishment list. He did the laundry. He ran some errands. He cooked dinner. It was only fitting that I give him a reward for his hard work.
I wasn’t sure what his reward would be. Should I give him an extra play session last night? Should I give him a get-out-of-jail-free orgasm? Should I make breakfast on the weekend? So many choices. As is usually the case, it came to me in the shower. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought he should have two separate rewards. One for doing all those chores and one for not having anything on the punishment list.
Reward number one, for the chores, is an extra play session. This is not a play session of his choosing. I may ask him what he wants, but I am not bound by it. He gets to choose a non-play night that he would like some Lion attention. This coupon expires August 1 for no reason other than the fact that I thought it should expire.
Reward number two, for not having anything on the punishment list, is an opportunity to subtract one item from a future punishment list. Maybe he has only one item and he wants to avoid punishment that night. Maybe he had nothing on the list, but forgot to remind me about punishment night so now he has that on his list. Maybe he was very bad and has six things on the list and wants to avoid some of those swats. Whatever the reason, he can eliminate one item. This coupon also expires on August 1.
He was very happy with his Good Lion coupons. He filed them away in the Lion coupon hiding place. I don’t know how many he has now. I tear them up as he uses them. Not that I think he’ll try to reuse them. I just think it makes a statement. This coupon is gone. Rip. You have received your reward. Rip. I don’t know if he even notices when I do it. It may be more for my benefit.
It’s still easier for me to reward him than punish him. That doesn’t surprise me. I know he wants me to add items to his list. It’s just so difficult when he does so many things for me already. Generally the only time he gets a punishment is for doing something I told him not to do. Stubborn boy that he is. I’ll have to step up my game and start noticing more.
Is This Submissive?
A few days ago I wrote a post about rules and their use in enforced chastity or FLR. One of our readers, Naga di Kandang offered a comment with a very interesting quote:
It’s not submission if I’d be doing it anyway.
Interesting point. Does this mean that if I would wear a chastity device on my own, wearing one and giving the key to my wife isn’t submission? Is something submissive only if I am forced to do it? If I like what I am told to do, am I not being submissive?
Granted, something feels more submissive if I wouldn’t do it on my own. But I think is way too narrow a definition to assume that only things I wouldn’t do on my own are submissive. For example, I want to wear a chastity device but I want an orgasm more frequently than Mrs. Lion allows me. So, in a different sense, my submission is demonstrated by my having to wait to orgasm past the point I would get off on my own.
Rules, of course, are great ways to provide submission opportunities. Even if I would be naked around the house at times, my rule requires it all the time unless we have company who wouldn’t understand. So, while it is something I might do on my own, it isn’t something I would do all the time.
These examples demonstrate my take on submission. I would define it as allowing someone else to control parts of my life. If Mrs. Lion kept me locked only as long as I thought I want to wait, then that isn’t submission at all. But if I get to come when she decides, then I am being submissive. If she has the right to make any decision she chooses, even if she doesn’t counter a decision I made on my own, I am still submissive to her.
I think submission has four key components: control, obedience, discipline, and rewards. All four have to be present in a D/S relationship. Intensity or frequency of activity are not important, at least in terms of the definition. But if I am submissive to Mrs. Lion, she has the ability to control, order, discipline, and reward me. Failure to obey is punished.
This can be very subtle. In many enforced chastity relationships, the D/S dynamic is very subtle, but by definition it has to be there. If a keyholder or dominant wife is aware of the four components, she can enhance her male’s feeling of submission by providing all four regularly. It’s not rocket science, but conscious awareness is important for success.
Ongoing Experiments
We had a very successful play session yesterday afternoon. Lion’s buns were very pink by the time I got done with them. He did, however, squirm a bit and insist that I was hitting too hard and for too long. I disagreed and kept going. That’s sort of a first for me. Usually he complains about the same time I was going to stop and he takes that to mean that he influenced me. This time I decided to keep going even if I would have normally stopped.
It’s been a very long time since he’s had a sore bottom for fun. I took a picture of his rosy cheeks but I don’t think the picture quite showed the effects of all my hard work. At least Lion felt it. And Mr. Weenie was at attention when he rolled over. It didn’t take long for Lion to reward me with a yummy mouthful. Between tying him up, the long spanking, and the orgasm, he was one happy boy. He was even talking about it hours later when we went to bed.
I’ve decided to use the orgasm calendar near the tv to indicate Lion’s last orgasm rather than his next scheduled one. That way we can both see how long he has waited until the next one even if he doesn’t know when that elusive next orgasm will be. [You can see this information if you look at the right column] And I will take my cues from him to see when to give him one. As he mentioned in his post, he’ll go through a lull of a few days where he won’t want an orgasm. Then his need will increase for a while. At some point it will drop off. My goal is to keep his interest up for as long as possible. Sometimes I may go beyond the point where he loses interest, but that’s too bad. He can’t always have everything exactly when he wants it.
I don’t think I’ll intentionally give him any ruined orgasms. This time the experiment is my ability to read him. A ruined orgasm with throw things off. And, of course, we are still continuing the experiment of domestic discipline. I will not be giving him daily maintenance swats. I think I’ve gotten quite good at whacking him hard enough for him to get the message. I need to find reasons to correct his behavior now.
