Aging And Enforced Chastity
One of the most common complaints from vanilla people about enforced chastity and FLM is that it is too structured. Sex, they say, is too structured. It’s supposed to be spontaneous. Really? I wonder how that is working out for them. Based on my experience and what I am told by others, spontaneous appears to be a synonym for nothing happening. Spontaneous sex is driven by one of the partners getting horny enough to overcome inertia and make a move. Or, worse, because a partner feels guilty for not having sex with the other. In either case, the frequency of sexual contact generally goes down over the years. That was our story. It appears that the vast majority of people who find themselves going down that path just learn to settle for less sex. Eventually, they stop entirely. Some people believe that this is a natural process. Aging does affect sex drive, but does it eliminate it? It doesn’t.
Maybe this pattern of diminished sexual contact is the reason why the vast majority of couples practicing enforced chastity are over fifty. Enforced chastity is almost exclusively proposed by the male. Almost every fantasy, however, has the chastity imposed by the keyholder. The fantasies always include a D/S aspect where the woman takes control and uses the male for her pleasure while he is helplessly locked into a chastity device. This is a very hot fantasy for many. Some guys find the courage to ask their partners to try locking them up. What happens next determines if sex will return to the couple.
In our case, we started with Mrs. Lion getting her keyholding cues from me. She interpreted my fantasy and played it back to me. It was very exciting — for me. Mrs. Lion enjoyed making me happy, but enforced chastity and the power exchange did nothing for her. I suspect that this isn’t unusual. A great many women have no interest in taking sexual control of their mates. As time went by, Mrs. Lion became more assertive and less interested in fulfilling my fantasy. She continued to do this to make me happy. For us that’s how it stays. Mrs. Lion’s interest for sex is virtually non existent. I remain hopeful her libido will return.
If the keyholder finds her sexual interest waking up, enforced chastity soon becomes her favorite indoor sport. Many keyholders have over 20 orgasms for each one provided to her caged male. He learns to focus on her pleasure. Yes, he gets massively horny and wishes he could come too. But over a year or so he learns to shift his sexual focus to her. That may seem hard to believe if you haven’t experienced it, but it is the almost-universal response to long term enforced chastity. The caged male, which of course includes me, learns to enjoy being teased and edged. I love when Mrs. Lion edges me. When I finally get to ejaculate, it is always an amazing event. But my focus is no longer on that orgasm. I’ve learned to love equally the teasing and edging. If at some point Mrs. Lion wants orgasms, I know I will find them at least as much fun as my own.
I know that when people take on something new that has a strong effect on their lives, they believe that what they are doing will solve everyone’s problems. This isn’t the case with enforced chastity. It won’t work for everyone. The reason? To work, enforced chastity requires trust between the keyholder and caged male. It also requires constant, honest communication. Mrs. Lion and I have learned to communicate how we feel and what we want. It isn’t easy for either of us, but we have learned. We had to learn. Enforced chastity requires complete honesty, trust, and constant communication. You can tell when it is successful if both partners enjoy the experience and never want to quit. That’s us.
House Arrest
My Lion feels like he’s under house arrest. He’s bored. He’s lonely. He needs a hobby. I have encouraged him from time to time to become involved with the local BDSM community. At one point he did give a talk, but I don’t think people were as interested as they were on the east coast. Maybe people are less structured here. From what I saw, which was not much, people on the east coast love their classes. The one time I went to the local center here, the focus was more on how much sex you can have with how many people. Maybe that’s unfair, but that’s what I got out of the “welcome to the neighborhood” type meeting. Needless to say, I haven’t been back.
It’s times like these I wish we had more friends. I’m sure Lion would feel less isolated if he had other outlets. Maybe he needs the equivalent of the old hardware store where all the guys went to hang out and complain about their wives. He’d probably feel just as uncomfortable as I would if I went to the hairdresser to gossip about the Joneses and their son who’s always in trouble. Lion was watching the Donna Reed show as I left for work this morning and, although I’ve never seen it, I’m sure that’s the type of thing they did. I’m not saying Lion has to get off his butt and do something. He’s been working very hard around the house and keeping himself pretty busy. But I was out of work for a long time before I decided to go back to school so I know how boring it is to be home alone for weeks and months on end. How many times can you reorganize a sock drawer?
All I can do for Lion is keep things as normal as possible. Last night was punishment night. He got six hard swats and stayed still for the most part. Before we went to sleep he noted that we hadn’t played last night. I said I thought he wouldn’t be horny after his orgasm. He agreed he wasn’t. But I think he missed the attention. It’s not that I decided to go back to the every other night routine. I just figured he wouldn’t be horny. That said, I haven’t decided if we’ll continue on with nightly edgings. I was thinking we’ll just play things by ear for a while. When we first started living together, Lion got sex nightly. Play and sex. After a while that gets tiresome. Not that I was bored with him, but can you really expect to maintain nightly play sessions?
Tonight is maintenance spanking night. He’ll get his whacks and then a little later we will play. Will he get edged? It depends on how horny he is. And what I feel like doing to him. And how he reacts to what I do to him.
Confessions Of A House Lion
It’s been phoneless Monday. I expected a call scheduling my second round of interviews for a contract position. Nothing moves quickly it seems. The weather here is refreshingly sunny and warm. It got over 70 deg. yesterday. That’s summer weather around here. We have a hummingbird feeder right outside my home office window. Business has been very brisk. We must have gotten a good review in the Audubon Guide To Dining Out. Diners are stacked up in holding patterns waiting for a turn at the nectar. Watching the beautiful, impossibly small creatures is constantly entertaining.
Yesterday was my first day after Sunday night’s unexpected orgasm. I’m still feeling happily sated. Last night was punishment night. I’ll let Mrs. Lion tell you about that. My days are spent reading job sites in search of that elusive employment. I also do the laundry, clean the bathrooms and the kitchen. Now that the weather is better, I will try to find a reason to be outside more. As Mrs. Lion mentioned, I am social and I don’t like being alone. Chores don’t ring my chimes. I just don’t have that domestic nature that many chaste males seem to share.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a take-charge person. I love my new role as a disciplined, caged male, but I have none of the domestic instincts that others share. It’s really hard to stay focused on enforced chastity and FLM when my general disposition is not very positive. I loved my orgasm on Sunday night. It felt fantastic. I slept better than usual. But then the unhappy reality of unemployment turned a Sunny Monday into a dismal day.
The fact is that sexual stuff is not a priority right now. The problem is that the real priority is pretty much out of my control. I can control doing the laundry and cooking. Maybe I should try to feel more excited about that. The part we need to fix our smoker arrives today. I can put in an hour fixing it. That will be big fun. If I can get it going, we can have ribs on Wednesday night for dinner. Yum!
What does this have to do with enforced chastity and FLM? Nothing at all. I suppose that the fact that I am naked nearly 24-hours-a-day and that Mrs. Lion expects me to be a house lion has a lot to do with our FLM. I remain in my chastity device. Tonight is maintenance spanking night, and Mrs. Lion will edge me before we go to sleep. I look forward to all of that. The problem for me is the waiting. Waiting is hell; especially for a house lion.
Punishment
This weekend was not a very good one. Our camper is stuck. Our brand new smoker needs a new part. The only thing that actually worked right was Lion’s orgasm. It wasn’t his scheduled date, but I adjusted for certain variables. Number one was that I needed something good to come out of the weekend. Number two is that I’m hedging my bets that he will get a job soon and a bonus orgasm along with it. Fingers crossed! Number three is that I can give him an orgasm whenever I want to. Can’t argue with that!
Tonight is punishment night. He’s not looking forward to it at all. I told him we’d be working on him not squirming. I bet he’s dreading it. I always wonder if he gets himself too psyched up for it. Could it possibly be as bad as he thinks it will be? Or is it worse? I remember one time a friend and I skipped some classes. While we were wandering around town we happened to see her parents. She was positive she’d be killed when she went home. In fact, her mother was far worse. She kept telling her to wait till her father was ready to deal with her. When she finally confessed to her father, it turns out, he never saw us. But he said he bet that week of thinking she was in trouble was probably far worse than any punishment he could think of. So I wonder if Lion builds up the severity in his mind to a point that is far worse than anything I will do to him. Not that his butt won’t be stinging. I just don’t think it will be as bad as he imagines.
So far I’ve been sticking to spanking as punishment. I can’t think of another thing that is as powerful. And easy. Delaying his orgasm won’t have much affect now that he doesn’t know what the date is. Besides, spanking stays with him long after the actual swats are administered. He can sometimes feel the sting for hours. The only thing I can see changing about punishment is maybe making it more timely. As soon as he does something, I’d need to punish him. That won’t work all the time, of course. For now I’m keeping things the way they are. But I’m also keeping my options open. He wants me to make decisions. I may decide that his next infraction deserves to be dealt with immediately. Poor Lion butt.
