Clothing Optional
Yesterday we spent hours fixing the lawn tractor. When we were done, the belt was too loose. Argh! Today we have to take it all apart again. Not looking forward to that at all. Last night, Lion did his computer magic. He was working till about 11 pm. Then he came looking for love. Too late. I was hunkering down for the night. He was hungry and horny, and out of luck for both.
In this morning’s post, Lion brought up a few interesting topics. The first, being part of a community, is difficult for me. As an introvert, I have a hard time in social settings. I’m not even very comfortable with after work activities. One of my coworkers is getting married and we had a small get together the other night. It’s not that I don’t like my coworkers (although there are a few…). I just don’t have the social butterfly gene that my older son and daughter have. The second, his wanting me to be clothed around the house while he’s naked, got me thinking.
When we first got together it was specifically for play sessions. He was naked. It made sense that I be naked too. After all, the sessions usually ended in sex. When I moved in, we slept naked. My clothes were in another room of the house. I usually didn’t get dressed until I ventured in that direction. In my life before Lion I stayed in pajamas (usually a t shirt and shorts or sweatpants) until I needed to leave the house. I didn’t run around naked because there were kids in the house and you never knew who would show up at the door.
Since we spend so much time in the bedroom, watching tv, eating, etc., it’s more comfortable to be bottomless. And I usually feel hot. My skin may feel cold, but I feel very warm. When I come home from work I shed my work clothes and put on a t shirt. No bottoms. First of all, I don’t have that many clothes. Second, why make any more laundry than necessary? Third, I’ll probably be hot in a few minutes anyway. So let’s just cut to the chase and stay in a t shirt and undies. And, by the time the nightly edging comes around, those will be tossed. I work up a sweat playing with my Lion.
Lion has told me in the past that he likes it when I’m clothed and he’s not. I try to accommodate him, but I can only go so far. Unless he thinks a sweaty Mrs. Lion is sexy. I we turn down the heat so I am comfortable then he’s too cold. I don’t know how people play in leather outfits. I would be a puddle by the time I got all dressed. Anyway, until I find clothes that feed Lion’s fantasy of a clothed female that also feeds my need to be cool, I’m going with clothing optional.
CFNM
It’s been busy here. We are trying to repair an ancient lawn tractor and I am working hard to complete the migration to the new server. The Journal works! Mail works, but a bunch of other stuff doesn’t. It will be a while before I can get it all sorted out. Last night I left the computer for the bedroom with things still up in the air. Some of the problems are stubborn and annoying. Enough of that. I’m writing this before I head back to bed. I’m not sure how responsive I’ll be after all this aggravation. I’m sure Mrs. Lion will report on this tomorrow.
Steeledsnakecharmer wrote a post yesterday about, among other things, community. She talked about the isolation of not being able to share our lifestyle with, as she calls them, muggles. I know exactly what she means. In her post she mentions a friend who was shocked a neighbor was on his deck naked. Charmer was amused since Snake, like me, is kept naked all the time (CFNM – Clothed Female Naked Male). I’m bare-assed on the deck all year ’round tending the grill or smoker. We don’t have any neighbors who can see our deck, so our secret is safe.
But Charmer’s point is a very good one that also concerns me: there is no available community where enforced chastity and FLM people can get together. I was a member of a BDSM organization for over 30 years. There was never a special interest group, or even a workshop on either subject. Thanks to the Web, some of us can read of each others’ adventures. I like that a lot. But I would really like to meet in person and just talk.
It’s not that Mrs. Lion and I hide our enforced chastity / FLM lifestyle. It’s close to invisible to the “muggles”. Mrs. Lion doesn’t give orders. She’s way too sweet for that. She asks me to do things. Only we know that if I don’t do what she asks, my butt will be paddled. Muggles would never notice. They would just think I am agreeable. No one thinks twice about the woman paying for things. Even if Mrs. Lion decides to order food for me when we go out, it would hardly turn a head. So we can go on with this lifestyle invisible to the outside world. I don’t see any reason why I want to share my kinks or power exchange with strangers or, for that matter, with friends who aren’t into the same thing.
I’ve been kept naked at home for over a decade. During that time, I’ve noticed that Mrs. Lion tends to run around bare too. I am very sure she never did that before meeting me. I’ve asked her why she does it. Her answer is that it is “more comfortable”. I don’t know about that. Part of me would like her dressed more of the time. I really like the contrast that CFNM offers. I want her to be comfortable, but I can’t help but wonder if she hasn’t unconsciously copied me. I’ve been this way for almost the entire time we’ve known one another. I can’t remember when she started, but she’s out of her clothes as soon as she gets home. I do like contrasts, but a happy lioness is more important than CFNM. We now have NFNM.
All Apologies
Like a good boy, Lion reminded me about maintenance spanking night. And then hoped I’d forget. I didn’t. Since they are not punishment swats, they are not evil. He made it through the six swats with no problem at all.
When we started our nightly edging session, however, he had a problem. For whatever reason, no amount of oral stimulation could produce enough excitement to get him to the edge. He apologized. I said it was no big deal. He apologized again. I told him there’s no way I can insist he be aroused. I can’t force him to the edge. Over the course of a few hours he must have apologized five times. It really wasn’t a problem. He says it is. He says there must be a problem.
Here’s the problem as I see it. He thinks he let me down. And he’s sure if he can’t perform one night it means he’s “broken”. Let me assure you. Lion is not broken. Nightly edging might be too much. There’s nothing saying I can’t still fondle him without doing anything else. Even if we snuggle and I just massage his balls it still counts to me. And he’s not letting me down because I’m doing this for him. I’m more likely to think I let him down. Why didn’t I turn him on enough to get him to the edge? What’s wrong with me? But I didn’t think that last night because I realize that things don’t always go according to plan.
Maybe he’s worrying about something. We have to fix the lawn tractor today. Maybe he’s thinking about how much work that will be. Maybe he’s worried about how much I will be hurting from crawling around on the ground. Maybe he’s worried about how much he will be hurting from being in awkward positions. Maybe he’s worried about the stupid bolts being impossible to get off. He could also be thinking about the job situation. So many things to think about that make getting excited more difficult. And none of those things adds up to my being disappointed or his being broken. [Lion — She’s right. I am worrying about money. Yesterday it got the best of me for a while]
Tonight we’ll try again. And if it doesn’t work again we will snuggle and I will fondle him and we’ll try the next night. And the next night. And so on. Because as much as I am stuck with Lion, he is stuck with me too. And we don’t let each other down.
Male Orgasm And Teasing
Tonight I am going to do some needed server maintenance. This involves considerable work. I’m moving to a newer version of the operating system as well as installing newer versions of other software. I tried to pick a time which is least annoying to you. Please bear with me while I do this work. The site may come up during the effort. It may be a disaster when it does. That’s all part of the process. With any luck we will finish before midnight PDT. Thanks for understanding.
If you’ve been reading along, you may have noticed that I have been having a bit of an epiphany. I finally realized that I no longer expect to ejaculate when having sex. I’ve become a reluctant arousal junkie. I’ve decided that this change works well with my biology. I am not very happy ejaculating every day. I think my age has slowed down my recovery time. But I am very happy with stimulation on a daily basis. As we age, we stop making as much of critical hormones as we did when we were younger. This causes a reduction of libido as well as erectile capability. I’m happy to say I don’t have a Viagra dependency yet. My equipment functions quite well, thank you.
Last night there was an interesting, at least to me, event. Mrs. Lion edged me very very close to ejaculation. To my surprise, some fluid came out. My first thought was that I had a ruined orgasm, but it didn’t feel that way. Mrs. Lion happily consumed the stuff. She reported that it was precum. This is unusual for me. I barely produce any, but this was a copious flow. She had hit just the right spot in my sexual cycle to provoke that emission. We both enjoyed that it happened. I don’t think it would be a good idea to try for a repeat. Odds are very good that next time it will be a ruined orgasm.
I never imagined that we would need a vocabulary for male arousal stages. Males have a very short arousal-to-ejaculation sequence. It takes no more than two to three seconds. During that brief time, various glands are stimulated to release substances, muscles contract and semen is emitted. The pleasurable sensations last through the full ejaculation, which can be ten seconds or more. This is why when stimulation is removed right after triggering the three-second sequence, it feels so bad. That additional stimulation encourages the muscle contractions that make semen squire as well as provide the sensation we all love so much. From a biological perspective, once ejaculation is triggered, the orgasm is done. Since we need additional stimulation to move that ejaculate out and into its target, a ruined orgasm can stop the fluids from leaving home (the glands) and just emit a bit. Apparently, as long as there is a semen reserve, a man has the ability to stay hard and come again.
Prostate milking can empty the prostate. This gland is the primary fluid source for ejaculation. If it is empty, a male is unlikely to be able to come regardless of stimulation. Some guys report that if they aren’t allowed to ejaculate that they get “blocked up.” I can’t find any confirmation of this condition. Sperm, which is formed in the testes, if not needed for ejaculation, will just be absorbed back into the body. That’s why males like me who have had vasectomies don’t have giant, sperm-stuffed balls.
What about non-orgasmic teasing? I’ve been wondering if there are any long term physical effects of this. I understand the psychological effects on me, but I am not aware of any profound physical effects. One thing, however, has changed. Over the last decade or so, I don’t produce much semen if I am just jerked off or fuck without a lot of other stimulation. At times, nothing at all has come out when I ejaculated. A few minutes later as I am getting soft, semen does drip out. However, if I am teased over the course of an hour or so, something inside me gets charged and semen flows at the appropriate time. After a multi-day wait with regular teasing, my semen production goes up nicely. I don’t know what this means. It’s just what happens to me.
Based on what I have been able to find out, not being allowed to ejaculate, even over long periods, has no detrimental physical effects on the male. It turns out that all our favorite mythology about blue balls and aching to come, are just that, myths. After sufficient tease and denial training, we can all learn to live comfortably in a continual state of heat. Sorry guys.
