We Didn’t Plan On This
We got home last night around dinner time. We weren’t hungry though. By the time we got somewhere we could have lunch is was almost 3pm, so we watched some TV and had a small bite around 9. I’ve been uncaged the last five days. I’m writing this on Tuesday night. Per my rules, I am naked but still uncaged. Mrs. Lion has assured me that this condition will be corrected tonight. On Monday night, after a surprisingly strong spanking (for fun: hers), Mrs. Lion edged me once. She tried again, but I just wasn’t staying hard. This is a fairly new occurrence. I generally lose my erection after a ruined (or full) orgasm, but stay hard when teased or edged. The cause is most likely my worry over our current situation. I had an interview last week, but the hiring manager still hasn’t completed interviews due to the holiday, so no answer yet. If this latest change isn’t situational, it may be part of a more general change.
Even though I have been uncaged, nothing has changed in my sexual behavior. I am not getting more erections nor am I inclined to do any illicit playing, even in the shower. True, it’s only been a few days since my last orgasm, but normally I am very interested in coming by now. I could be conditioned away from informal arousal. Wearing a chastity device for eighteen months is bound to have some effects on me. I seem to have learned that I don’t own my arousal and am close to unable to get turned on without Mrs. Lion providing direct stimulation. This wasn’t a goal either of us expressed before or during my enforced chastity. As I think about it, I shouldn’t be surprised.
The big question in my mind is where is this leading? Will I permanently require my lioness to directly stimulate the penis before I can get erect? Is this something she wants? I’m very sure she has no intention of training me this way. But my arousal and ejaculation does belong to her. It seems the penis is now truly her toy and not mine. I can see that many guys would consider this to be the most desirable outcome of enforced chastity. I’m not sure I do. But I’m also not sure I don’t. The fact is that I have no choice. This conditioning wasn’t planned. It just happened.
Of course, I might be wrong and most of my problems with arousal are caused by the financial problems we are having. Some of this has to be due to my worry. But a lot of it is the result of a pattern we have maintained for a year and a half. In that time I have either been physically unable to stimulate myself due to the chastity device, or under direct supervision where playing with myself would be greeted with punishment. Even now, sitting at my desk without a cage, and writing about arousal, I have absolutely no desire to play with it.
This doesn’t upset me at all. After thinking about it for a while I realize that this is exactly what I asked for and what Mrs. Lion has enthusiastically embraced. This un-submissive lion has very submissively surrendered even the ability to get hard without his lioness explicitly wanting it hard. I’m either discovering my true nature or I’m the poster lion for behavioral conditioning.
Perfect!
Last night, as promised, I tied Lion to the bed and whomped his poor buns. He said he never asked to be whomped. True. He said he just wanted to be tied down. True. Be careful what you ask for.
Once he was restrained I got out my whomping sticks. I told him which ones I had and ran them across his butt. I started out with my hand then I moved on to a crop that has a leather hand-shaped head. This crop amuses me. Lion says horse people like silly crops. I think kinky people must have some input in that area too.
When I finally started hitting him with the crop, he said it hurt and started to squirm. I told him he shouldn’t move. He said it really hurt. Good. It’s supposed to. He kept squirming. He said he didn’t want it to hurt so much. I don’t remember asking him. I remember taking into account the fact that he wanted to be restrained. I remember promising to play with him. I don’t remember asking him how he wanted me to play with him or how much he wanted it to hurt. Nope. That was my decision. And I decided it should hurt a little more than usual.
I wasn’t looking to leave a mark. I just wanted him to feel it. He hasn’t really been whomped in a long time. Sure, I’ve spanked him recently, but not really very hard. A Lion needs a good, hard whomping every now and then.
Earlier in the evening he said he was horny. I should have sprung into action then. By ten he was not as horny. I managed to edge him once, but then he went soft again. When we were hunkered down for the night, he said I am very good at making him very horny. Perfect!
Vacation’s End
Our trip is drawing to a close. We will be on our way home today. Sunday was a quiet day around the campground. We took a trip into town to upload our posts and then explored the local area; then back to camp for lunch. Later, we took the dog swimming in the lake. Well, not swimming, she wades up to her chest and then sticks her head in the water and blows bubbles. The water was very warm and refreshing. I waded too.
There’s a lot to be said about being uncaged. I’ve enjoyed the feeling of freedom. Sunday night I was lying on top of the bed and commented that it felt good to be naked, then I said that I was generally naked. “Not this naked,” Mrs. Lion said pointedly. I gave her a blank look. Just as she said, “You usually wear a cage.” The light came on in my head and I nodded.
I said, “It’s really nice this way.”
She replied, “I’m sure it is but you will be back in your cage soon.”
So much for my pubic service announcement in favor of wild lions. Saturday, after our punishment/play activity I mentioned that I thought I would be tied down. She told me that could be arranged. That didn’t happen Sunday night. Maybe Mrs. Lion was giving me time to recharge my sexual battery. I’m writing this Monday morning so we can upload it when we go to town. Perhaps tonight (Monday) the camper bondage equipment will be used. I did notice that she kept the very nasty wooden spoon on her nightstand. She usually returns it to her toy bag. Monday is punishment day but I haven’t accrued any swats so far.
Mrs. Lion continues to be more assertive. She hasn’t gotten to the point of just telling me what to do, but she makes decisions when I ask for them. This is fine. I’m not sure that a working Female Led Marriage (FLM) is the dominatrix fantasy where the male is little more than a pet. For the record, I never had a fantasy like that. When I bottomed in the past, I was tied down and got sensation play. I don’t think I could manage the dictatorial “mommy” role that many men report their dominant wives take. I don’t believe their reports are accurate. That’s just fantasy.
Our model appears to be evolving into one where I remain an independent big kitty, but I am required to ask for permission when feasible. That means when Mrs. Lion is available, I must ask before doing. For example, when I wanted to take a shower last night, I asked first. Or, before dressing or undressing I also ask. I think it would be cool if she told me to undress sometimes. That might be a safe first step in more assertive domination. When we are out, she does ask me if I would like to go look at one place or another, but I hope that if there is somewhere she wants to go, that she just goes there without checking with me.
I think there is a fine line between sensible FLM and fantasy D/S scenes. Our model has to work all the time. I also think that like enforced chastity, FLM has to evolve. A year ago Mrs. Lion would have allowed me to be wild anytime I wanted. (I may be wrong about that, but it is the sense I got.) Now, I have no doubt that my input isn’t relevant as to when the cage goes back on and when it may come off again for a short time. She has taken full control of my sexuality. Neither of us question that.
If you look back at our posts during the summer of 2014, Mrs. Lion questions herself and her ability to be my keyholder. This summer she shows no such hesitation or self-questioning about chastity. She has new questions now. But like enforced chastity, it won’t be long before she owns that role too. Her style is a deliberate one where she takes very small steps. Sometimes they are too small. She generally recognizes that and the pace increases. One of the nice benefits of daily postings is the ability to look back and see where we were a year or more ago. I am very surprised at how much we have both changed. I am far less assertive and much more willing to wait until Mrs. Lion chooses to let me orgasm. Even since March, I am beginning to internalize her role as my disciplining wife. The spankings hurt just as much, but I’m better able to understand and accept that I will get them or worse if I attempt to escape. I wonder if other couples evolve this way
Lion Days of Summer
Today is our last day away. Tomorrow we begin our five hour journey home. I’m sorry we have to go back. Despite our rocky start on Thursday, our mini vacations are a welcome distraction from our finances.
Yesterday was fairly quiet. I hadn’t slept well the night before so I took a few catnaps throughout the day. We went on a little adventure and found a different campground for future reference. We took the dog for a swim and had dinner outside. Even though we’re camping, we don’t spend a lot of time outside. Generally it’s too hot to spend much time out of our air conditioned luxury.
I continued to make decisions yesterday. I know they seem like tiny decisions, but since I’m not used to making decisions I need to get used to making them. What to eat, when to eat, when to go to bed. I really dislike making all the decisions but if I let even one go by I’m afraid I’ll stop making any. I can’t return to my inertia state.
We didn’t play last night. I was tired. We snuggled while watching TV. It’s always nice to be close to Lion. While snuggling I asked him about his buns. He said they didn’t hurt for very long after I swatted him the night before. I didn’t think they would, but I had hoped he would have some lasting effect of my chomping. Nope. I thought I bit him very hard. I guess I’ll have to improve my technique. Lion hide really is tough.
Tonight we’ll play. I have no real plans for him. I’m fairly certain he’ll be edged, but beyond that I don’t know. Being on vacation doesn’t lend itself to having definite plans. At least I don’t think so. Lion, of course, likes to have plans. Just one more way we’re opposite.
