Here we are at Monday again. I have a job interview today. With any luck I can get back to work. Today is also punishment day. I have been accumulating some offenses now that Mrs. Lion has decided to pay more attention to my behavior. I am not looking forward to tonight’s spanking. No, not looking forward at all. These sessions are seriously painful. Yesterday, when Mrs. Lion told me that I had eaten before her at lunch, I felt a twinge in my stomach. I know what’s coming. I don’t like it at all. As she is fond of saying, “You asked for this.” Well, I did, but right now I can’t remember why.
I guess I am at one of those times when things all seem to pile up. A big part of it, of course, is our growing financial problems. These problems distract me from our FLM and enforced chastity. As we have both been writing, there are significant benefits keeping me locked in my chastity device. There’s no real chance that I will be allowed to be wild in the future. The FLM is another thing. Neither of us is sure what benefits we will discover as we go along. I think that one important potential plus is that Mrs. Lion will become more comfortable being assertive and expressing her wishes. That by itself would make it worthwhile as far as I am concerned. Another potential benefit is to make me more aware of her needs and more aware of my actions.
Our relationship is very cooperative. We already share chores. We both look for ways to make things easier for each other. So, FLM isn’t intended to shift all the domestic stuff to me. Mrs. Lion has expressed no interest in managing our finances, so I will continue doing that for now. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion has no explicit plan on how she wants things to change. Based on what she has said, at this point it is for my benefit. In other words, she is doing it to make me happy. This is exactly how we started enforced chastity. In the beginning, I could call it off at any time if I didn’t like how it was going. Now I can’t. Mrs. Lion won’t let me. Of course, I don’t want to stop either. The frustration is a small price to pay for the improvements in our communication.
I never dreaded being locked up the way I dread punishment. Enforced chastity is about pleasure, albeit postponed pleasure. FLM is about control; raw power. The benefit for me is praise and avoiding painful or humiliating punishment. Right now it is pure negative reinforcement. Intellectually, I know this is a very good thing for me. I have never been punished directly. My mother punished me indirectly with guilt trips. This new, painful way is healthier. But it isn’t fun at all. Since I’m not particularly submissive or masochistic, there is no pleasure in punishment. But then, isn’t that how it should be. Spanking a masochist is a reward, not a punishment. So, Mrs. Lion’s very painful spankings are exactly right as punishments for me.
What is the up-side for us? Being more attentive to my behavior and punishing me as required is a lot of extra effort for Mrs. Lion. For my part, I have to be extremely careful or suffer very painful spanking. Both of us have to make difficult changes. As I mentioned before, FLM does give my lioness a mandate to be assertive. She is, by nature, a go-along type person. She also is very good at overlooking things that ultimately bother her. The reward for that behavior was lack of conflict. FLM removes the conflict and replaces it with domestic discipline. She no longer has to worry about a fight with me if I interrupt her and she calls me on it. She just has to note it and punish me at the appropriate time.
In her previous marriage she risked painful arguments if she triggered any disagreement. So, she learned to agree even if she didn’t want to do it. She has been like that with me. Even though I never attack her if she disagrees or calls me on something, the difference hasn’t gotten through on a deep level. Since FLM goes a big step further: if she disagrees or is displeased, she takes action to assert her position as my disciplinary wife.
Even though there is no strong reason for this new role assignment in terms of me acting out or doing things destructive to myself or her, FLM appears to offer significant benefits. One of the big ones, I think, is the requirement that she is vigilant. She feels the obligation to note my offenses and then punish them. This sort of awareness is a sea change for her. Under FLM, she properly places the onus for things I do on me. Instead of stuffing any feelings, she now is required to express her displeasure and then punish me for causing the problem.
It’s much more than teaching the lion manners or to not make a mess in the kitchen. It’s teaching the lioness to consciously note lion breaches and to act on them. It’s not permissible for her to just gloss over issues. Her agreement to this power exchange requires her to take on a new role. It’s my hope that this new role will ultimately make her happier and more self confident. It will make me neater and more polite. Mrs. Lion has learned how to punish me in ways that I dread and want to avoid. My expectation is that, like enforced chastity, we won’t see real benefits for some months. It takes time for a power exchange this profound to take root.