Here we are at Monday again. I have a job interview today. With any luck I can get back to work. Today is also punishment day. I have been accumulating some offenses now that Mrs. Lion has decided to pay more attention to my behavior. I am not looking forward to tonight’s spanking. No, not looking forward at all. These sessions are seriously painful. Yesterday, when Mrs. Lion told me that I had eaten before her at lunch, I felt a twinge in my stomach. I know what’s coming. I don’t like it at all. As she is fond of saying, “You asked for this.” Well, I did, but right now I can’t remember why.

I guess I am at one of those times when things all seem to pile up. A big part of it, of course, is our growing financial problems. These problems distract me from our FLM and enforced chastity. As we have both been writing, there are significant benefits keeping me locked in my chastity device. There’s no real chance that I will be allowed to be wild in the future. The FLM is another thing. Neither of us is sure what benefits we will discover as we go along. I think that one important potential plus is that Mrs. Lion will become more comfortable being assertive and expressing her wishes. That by itself would make it worthwhile as far as I am concerned. Another potential benefit is to make me more aware of her needs and more aware of my actions.

Our relationship is very cooperative. We already share chores. We both look for ways to make things easier for each other. So, FLM isn’t intended to shift all the domestic stuff to me. Mrs. Lion has expressed no interest in managing our finances, so I will continue doing that for now. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion has no explicit plan on how she wants things to change. Based on what she has said, at this point it is for my benefit. In other words, she is doing it to make me happy. This is exactly how we started enforced chastity. In the beginning, I could call it off at any time if I didn’t like how it was going. Now I can’t. Mrs. Lion won’t let me. Of course, I don’t want to stop either. The frustration is a small price to pay for the improvements in our communication.

I never dreaded being locked up the way I dread punishment. Enforced chastity is about pleasure, albeit postponed pleasure. FLM is about control; raw power. The benefit for me is praise and avoiding painful or humiliating punishment. Right now it is pure negative reinforcement. Intellectually, I know this is a very good thing for me. I have never been punished directly. My mother punished me indirectly with guilt trips. This new, painful way is healthier. But it isn’t fun at all. Since I’m not particularly submissive or masochistic, there is no pleasure in punishment. But then, isn’t that how it should be. Spanking a masochist is a reward, not a punishment. So, Mrs. Lion’s very painful spankings are exactly right as punishments for me.

What is the up-side for us? Being more attentive to my behavior and punishing me as required is a lot of extra effort for Mrs. Lion. For my part, I have to be extremely careful or suffer very painful spanking. Both of us have to make difficult changes. As I mentioned before, FLM does give my lioness a mandate to be assertive. She is, by nature, a go-along type person. She also is very good at overlooking things that ultimately bother her. The reward for that behavior was lack of conflict. FLM removes the conflict and replaces it with domestic discipline. She no longer has to worry about a fight with me if I interrupt her and she calls me on it. She just has to note it and punish me at the appropriate time.

In her previous marriage she risked painful arguments if she triggered any disagreement. So, she learned to agree even if she didn’t want to do it. She has been like that with me. Even though I never attack her if she disagrees or calls me on something, the difference hasn’t gotten through on a deep level. Since FLM goes a big step further: if she disagrees or is displeased, she takes action to assert her position as my disciplinary wife.

Even though there is no strong reason for this new role assignment in terms of me acting out or doing things destructive to myself or her, FLM appears to offer significant benefits. One of the big ones, I think, is the requirement that she is vigilant. She feels the obligation to note my offenses and then punish them. This sort of awareness is a sea change for her. Under FLM, she properly places the onus for things I do on me. Instead of stuffing any feelings, she now is required to express her displeasure and then punish me for causing the problem.

It’s much more than teaching the lion manners or to not make a mess in the kitchen. It’s teaching the lioness to consciously note lion breaches and to act on them. It’s not permissible for her to just gloss over issues. Her agreement to this power exchange requires her to take on a new role. It’s my hope that this new role will ultimately make her happier and more self confident. It will make me neater and more polite. Mrs. Lion has learned how to punish me in ways that I dread and want to avoid. My expectation is that, like enforced chastity, we won’t see real benefits for some months. It takes time for a power exchange this profound to take root.

This morning, as I was unloading the dishwasher, I had a flashback to this past weekend. Lion fell on the deck and hurt his back. Not knowing how bad it was, and fearing it would get worse with time, I told him to lay down. He said it wasn’t really bad and then winced. We were unloading the dishwasher and he was trying to bend over. I told him he either needed to sit down or lay down and he finally listened. It turns out that it wasn’t bad after all but it’s better to be safe than sorry. It wasn’t until this morning, unloading the dishwasher, that I realized why he listened to me. Once I repeated myself he was afraid to get punished. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I guess if I had a firmer grip on domestic discipline I would be happy that he obeyed a command. As a wife I’m grateful he listened. As someone who loves him more than anything, I was just trying to take care of him and it hadn’t even occurred to me to play the punishment card. So what’s the difference? In my mind, from now on, I’ll be wondering if he’s doing something because he agrees or because he’s trying to avoid punishment. Who cares? Isn’t this what I should be striving for? I guess so. But I think I’m still at a point where I’m fighting being in charge. I hope that will change.

As you’ve probably read, Lion had an orgasm last night. His scheduled date wasn’t until Thursday but I took pity on the poor quivering mess of horny Lion in front of me and decided to end his misery. He thinks eleven days was a long time to wait. When I checked the calendar, his next date is much longer. Good thing I decided to adjust things. From sixteen days down to…. Nope. I can’t say. Mostly because I don’t remember off the top of my head, but also because Lion shouldn’t know.

We will continue with the nightly edging. It was a good experiment. It’s nice to have him spring to attention the second the cage comes off. And knowing he’s grumbling to himself because he’s super horny is amusing. Poor Lion. I also decided I can use this edging as a punishment if I want. Did he do something wrong? Uh oh. No edging tonight, my pet.

Last night was also maintenance swat night. He got six semi-hard swats and he took them very well. He yelled a little into the pillow but he stayed still. I used a wooden spoon because it was the first thing I found. I’ll probably try different paddles, more or less swats, and harder versus softer swats as we go along. I can’t let him get accustomed to the maintenance swats anymore than he should get accustomed to punishment swats.

As you can see, I’m still all over the map with punishment and being in charge. Sometimes it feels like the most natural thing to do. And then it turns around to be something I hate. I’ll reel it in eventually.

kitchen spanking paddle
This is our “kitchen spanking paddle”. It hangs from the refrigerator. It’s been there as long as we’ve lived here. It’s been many years since Mrs. Lion has used it. That is very likely to change now.

First the news. Last night Mrs. Lion finally gave me an orgasm after 11 long days waiting. She teased me for a long time. I showed a great deal of interest in more. She has great hands. She told me that it wasn’t my scheduled night. Being a good team player, I said, “I don’t care.” She asked if I really wanted to come. I rolled my eyes and said, “Yup! To my great surprise she moved between my legs and gave me incredible oral sex. It felt wonderful. And for the record, now that it is over, I still feel wonderful. I don’t feel any post-orgasmic letdown; just a nice sleepy feeling like I am a happy lion puddle. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

Our progress in enforced chastity and domestic discipline happens in spurts. We (usually me) come up with something new. It could be longer waits, maintenance spankings, more teasing, or tougher rules. We then try it and write about it. After a few tries, if Mrs. Lion decides to continue, we formalize it. For example, I suggested FLM* and domestic discipline.  Mrs. Lion agreed to give it a try. An important component of both is discipline and punishment. These are two activities that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to do. So, in typical lion fashion, we established a set of explicit rules and set punishment days on Mondays and Thursdays. I was charged with keeping a list of my offenses (you can see it on the right column of this page if you scroll down). Mrs. Lion decided that spanking is her preferred punishment. She worked hard to make punishment spankings painful. I had a lot of trouble holding still.

If you have been following our progress, you know that I have managed to be a good lion and avoid being punished. That left us with imperfect spanking skills for Mrs. Lion and poor spankee behavior for me. Essentially, Mrs. Lion needs to be desensitized to hurting me and I need to learn to hold still no matter how much it hurts. In keeping with our past methodology, we have just instituted twice-weekly maintenance spankings on Tuesday and Friday nights. These spankings are the same as punishment spankings. Their purpose, however, is to allow us to learn effective discipline. It’s not easy to do, but if we don’t do it, we both feel that our attempts at discipline will not be effective and we may just let it die out.

We have had success with enforced chastity because we made a commitment to pursue it and scheduled activities. Now, we are in a new, experimental phase. Mrs. Lion is not telling me when I will finally get an orgasm. She has also increased tease and denial to an every-night activity. I’m experiencing heightened arousal. I try to get hard many times a day when my mind drifts to my dear lioness.  As she pointed out to me, what man wouldn’t want daily sexual activity? Well duh. I think that my daily sexual activity has a more positive effect than getting a guy off every day. I do hope this experiment becomes our habit.

Yesterday, during the day, in one of our email exchanges, I mentioned that more frequent punishment spankings for practice would make it easier for her to just spank me on the spot when needed. She disagreed and reminded me that we have a paddle in the kitchen. We do. It hangs from the refrigerator (see image) and is easily accessible. Years ago when we first started playing with rules, Mrs. Lion would use it when I dropped ice or food. She would just tell me to bend over and give me a couple of swats.  This little paddle really hurts. She stopped using it years ago. Now that domestic discipline is in force, when I break one of my “kitchen” rules, we have added it to my list of infractions and I am spanked during one of our scheduled sessions. Maybe Mrs. Lion will return to using her kitchen paddle to put the punishment closer to the infraction. Either way, I get punished. She has expressed an interest in punishing closer to my wrongdoing. Maybe we can use the kitchen paddle to help make that a habit. Will I get both bedroom and kitchen maintenance spankings? If she starts using that dusty paddle again, I am very sure it won’t be just two or three swats.

Our pattern is to try things and then learn after we have done them for a while whether or not they  work for us. One thing we’ve learned is that if we don’t commit to something and make sure we go at it full force, we will drop it long before we can discover its benefits. So, for a while we will have to practice domestic discipline. We both have to learn on a visceral level our places in this power exchange.

* FLM Female Led Marriage.

It seems that Lion is satisfied with being unsatisfied. I guess that’s a good defense mechanism when you have no idea how long the wait is until the next orgasm. I was wondering if he’d hit a wall at some point and really start begging for release. So far that hasn’t happened. Will it happen if I push him longer and longer? I don’t know. I think he’s adopted the mantra “I can make it one more day.” With that mindset he should be able to make it through any sort of wait.

I know he wants to come. I know I want him to come. My goal is for us both to make it to the scheduled date while doing the nightly edging. Once we hit that date I don’t know how we’ll proceed. I’m sure Lion wants the nightly teasing to continue. It might. I haven’t decided yet. I may go back to the every other night schedule with a few extra days thrown in to keep him on his toes. Let’s just make it through this experiment before we start another one.

That said, tonight we start another experiment. It’s the first maintenance spanking night. I’m not at all sure how it will go. How will it differ from a punishment night? I guess the short answer is that Lion will actually get some swats. He’s been a good boy for so long he hasn’t earned any swats. Rather than manufacturing rules that he can’t help but break, now I will punish him for no reason. Makes sense to me. (No, it doesn’t and I don’t think it ever will. Just nod your head and agree with the crazy person.) Except I’m not really punishing him. I’m just giving his buns a reminder of what it’s like to be punished. In case he breaks a rule and needs a real punishment, which is on a different day.

I suppose I should make it a rule that he has to remind me it’s maintenance spanking night in case I forget, just like he has to remind me about punishment night. I know I’ll forget. At least initially. It took me a few weeks to remember punishment night. So the same rule now applies to maintenance spanking night. Lion has to remind me before 8:30 pm or the infraction will go on his punishment list. One of us is bound to forget at some point early on.

I just got my morning email. Lion reports that he is super horny today. It would be nice if tonight is his night. Is it? I’m not telling.

[Lion — I really hope that Mrs. Lion continues the daily edging. Beyond being sexy fun, it gives us yet another reason to be physical with one another. I really love that. My vote is to keep it up. Also, maintenance spanking isn’t punishment with no reason. It is practice. We both need to handle discipline more naturally. Mrs. Lion needs to be more comfortable just waling away to punish me. I have to learn to stay still. There’s a reason. Practice makes perfect.]