Learning Curve
Yesterday, I was extremely horny. Mrs. Lion’s tease on Sunday night had a strong effect on me. Mrs. Lion said that she would give me an extra tease and deny last night. First, she told me to roll over for spanking. She asked if there were any items on my list that needed discipline. When she asked me, I realized that there was now one: I forgot to remind her that Monday night is punishment night. So, in addition to her “practice” spanking, she had to discipline me for forgetting to remind her.
She used the large wooden spoon last night. Each swat really hurt. I squirmed away a few times. She patiently pulled me back into position and continued. This went on for some time. My bottom stung for an hour after she finished. She reminded me that I got more swats because I forgot to remind her about punishment night. I will be sure to remind her on Thursday.
A half hour later, she did a long tease and deny. She edged me over and over. At the end she used her mouth. Her last oral edging went a bit too far. I ended up with a ruined orgasm. She was genuinely sorry she did that. I wasn’t upset. That ruined orgasm reduced the tension I had been feeling. It was my fault. I didn’t signal the oncoming orgasm soon enough. I’ll have to ask her if I should add that omission to my list for Thursday.
Over the last year of so we’ve learned a lot about enforced chastity. I thought I knew all I needed, but I was wrong. Mrs. Lion, being much smarter about these things, understood that we both needed a lot of training before we were seriously pursuing enforced chastity. I had to learn to handle the emotional roller coaster that being kept horny and unable to come causes. Mrs. Lion had to learn to harden up and try to enjoy my frustration. That is very difficult to do.
The problem is that when I asked her to lock me up, I had done lots of research and had thought about enforced chastity for over fifteen years. I figured that I was truly ready. Mrs. Lion agreed because she knew that she would make me happy by locking me up. Neither of us understood what it would really be like. We went through considerable pain and difficulty. It turned out that I need gradually increasing waits to help me learn to handle the frustration. Those same waits taught Mrs. Lion to handle me.
Based on my email and what I read on forums and other blogs, it appears that the majority of men starting out with enforced chastity expect to be where I am today. They believe the same things I did; enforced chastity is easy to do and a keyholder only had to tease and set release dates. I think that one reason so many couples quit is failure to realize that enforced chastity requires substantial training for both partners.
When I sprung domestic discipline on Mrs. Lion, she immediately realized that we both had a lot to learn if we want to succeed in our FLR (Female Led Relationship). I have to agree. There are quite a few new things for us in FLR: We both have to get used to Mrs. Lion observing and correcting my behavior; we both have to learn how to handle serious discipline; and, we have to make her authority second nature to both of us.
Each of these challenges flies in the face of our life experience. Mrs. Lion is a giver. She works hard to accommodate and make people happy. She doesn’t like being in charge and certainly doesn’t like to punish. I am a very autonomous person who is generally in charge of things. I have no real experience being submissive. I have experience being spanked, but only for fun where the sensation builds slowly and the entire experience is erotic. In the past, Mrs. Lion has punished me with a few hard swats that hurt a lot. I had a hard time accepting them and generally squirmed away after four or five.
Successful domestic discipline goes way past the level of spanking we ever tried. This video shows a reasonable domestic discipline spanking. Neither of us is prepared for that. The objective of any domestic discipline punishment is to emphasize the authority of the top and to provide a real deterrent to future misbehavior. There are many kinds of punishment other than spanking. But Mrs. Lion has selected spanking as her first method.
Last week she decided to give me a nightly spanking. Her plan is to get practice doing punishment spankings and to give me a chance to learn to take them gracefully. Her plan was to do this every day for a week. Progress has been slow. This isn’t easy for either of us. I think she might want to extend her daily sessions until we both reach a point closer to that video. I suspect I will need to be restrained for much of this. She learns much more quickly than I do.
I realize that I am in for a painful period of learning. But if FLR / domestic discipline is going to work for us, we have to take discipline to an entirely new level. Clearly, neither of us can handle the kind of spanking I need to get. In the process of learning domestic discipline, we both have to learn to be more aware of my behavior and for Mrs. Lion to begin developing a standard she wants me to meet. That will not happen quickly.
At least the process itself is familiar. We’ve had the same sort of challenges with enforced chastity. In the process of learning, we discovered significant benefits for our relationship; so many benefits, that we won’t be quitting for any reason. That’s positive feedback and suggests that if we seriously pursue FLR/domestic discipline. we may discover new benefits for our marriage.
As with enforced chastity, Mrs. Lion needs to remember and to remind me that I asked for this change. As each practice spanking gets more severe, I may need to be reminded that I asked for this and there is no backing out. Yes, Mrs. Lion, I understand and accept that. I am willing to have difficulty sitting while we learn about domestic discipline.
