Have Trouble Sitting?

Do you or don’t you? We’d like to know.

I think the proliferation of blogs featuring women in sexually controlling roles signals a much larger change. This has been slow in coming, but now it feels like it is becoming more generally acceptable. Male chastity remains a rather small corner of this shift. That’s not surprising. It’s pretty extreme in terms of sexual control.

That’s not to say there are many marriages that practice active female control. Of course, women have long worn the pants in the family. But they’ve done so subtly without asserting authority. That’s changing. I think that women are more willing to speak up and let their partners hear them assert themselves.

Ok, that’s sociology. But more interesting to me is the growing trend of women topping men. In the 90’s so-called dominant women were few and far between. Men wishing to bottom outnumbered female tops 20 or more to one. Now, barely twenty years later, dominant women seek submissive men (as evidenced in blogs and fetlife) nearly as often as men seek dominant women. Cool!

When it comes to sexual blogs like ours, men outnumber women in terms of our readership. Almost 60% of our readers are men. That’s actually a great number. Most of the Internet is over 80% men. I find that all of the women who comment on this blog are in a dominant/top role. All of the men self-report as bottoms/submissive. This isn’t surprising since The Journal is about our female-in-charge relationship.

You don’t have to be full-on femdom to participate. I suspect most of our readers have an interest but don’t necessarily live in a female led relationship.

I’m curious about something. I wonder how many of the men reading here are spanked by women? Conversely, how many of our women readers spank men? Obviously, I’m spanked. I know that studies of male and female fantasies consistently reveal that over 75% of men dream of being restrained and/or spanked. This is usually in the context of a sexy scene, not female domination.

The reason I’m using spanking as a sort of yardstick is that it is sexually acceptable so it is likely to be the first activity when a woman asserts herself sexually in a way that puts the man in a clearly-understood-to-be vulnerable position.

This isn’t a case of me looking to validate my submission. I’m curious about you. Our readers are part of a demographic. I wonder how that demographic defines itself.

I realize that a sizable number of our male readers don’t get spanked or dominated in classic ways. They wear chastity devices as their only act of submission. The reason I didn’t pick chastity device wearing as my measure is that many women simply allow their men to wear the devices. They don’t necessarily actively participate in the lockup. However 100% of men who get spanked have their partners actively engaged.

I’d be interested to learn if you spank or are spanked. It doesn’t matter why. It just matters that a bottom is being swatted. Maybe we could also have a spanked bottom gallery. How would you feel about a picture of your reddened butt published?


  1. Author

    I am spanked but it isn’t her “go to” punishment. Still she doesn’t hold back any more. So I guess I’m glad it isn’t the go to punishment. As to the cage, initially it was me that was the driving force behind it, but a funny thing has happened and it now seems more important to her. I’m just getting over some surgery. For a couple of weeks I was “Wild” all the time. As soon as I was able to wear it without difficulty, she told me to buckle up and put it back on! I was still recovering and would have been happy to go a little longer without it. lol

    1. Author

      Spanking is Mrs. Lion’s go-to punishment. It’s also high on her play list too. What is your go-to punishment?

      1. Author

        The zapper. She loves to see me jump or hear me make my noises. She likes to surprise me so that I do jump and make noises. Once she starts, she gives me 50 in a row (sometimes more). I then control my movements as best I can and my lips are sealed. So she waits and surprises me again.

  2. Author

    i was spanked a few times my a Mistress that i enjoyed serving. She spanked for Her pleasure. My wife never participated in FLR. and has left me after 40 years.
    long story

  3. Author

    My wife and I started out with birthday spankings many years ago. Sexual spankings really began with me giving them to her. Since we started leaning towards a FLR I am the only one to be spanked, even on her birthday. She seems to prefer using her leather belt on me and about the only time it is in punishment is for when I leave the wet wipes container open. I swear that I don’t do it on purpose! I would be happy to be spanked, whipped, cropped, flogged and caned much more often than she does now, but will just be happy for what I do receive.

  4. Author

    Definitely spanking, paddling and some caning going on here . My key holder participates for sure . Love the gallery idea! Do you think though that it may cause these amazing women to take it as a challenge at our expense to show their game?!!

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