Mrs. Lion’s spanking skill has improved significantly in just the last year. (Left 2020, Right 2021)

Mrs. Lion gave me a very intense oral orgasm last night. It was eight days after my last one. This is in the sweet spot we discussed In the past (7-10 days), but twice as long as the four days she announced in recent posts. Life got in the way, I guess. It doesn’t matter. I’m very happy with how things turned out. We also discussed hair removal before she waxed me on Saturday. I let her know that if she preferred furry legs, I was fine with them too. She left the front of my legs unwaxed and removed all of the hair north of my mid-thighs.

Thanksgiving weekend has been very nice so far. We’ve snoozed in the afternoons and had delicious dinners. Saturday night was spaghetti and vodka sauce. We wanted Chinese food, but our local restaurant was closed for the holiday. Assimilation! Humph! We’ll pick up Chinese food next week after the long holiday weekend.

Mrs. Lion has been doing very well in learning new skills. She’s become an efficient and neat waxer. I didn’t have to scrape any wax off of my body in the shower. Her spanking skill is fearsome. No part of my posterior is safe from her paddles. More importantly, she is confident in her prowess. My feedback is no longer desired. She has me yelping from start to finish. I’m not looking forward to my next spanking. When I think back to those first barely-felt lovetaps, I realize I created a monster. I’m proud of her achievement.

Our dog is calming down. More correctly, we are calming down and handling her more professionally. Dog training has nothing to do with the dog. It’s training the handlers to properly correct and train their pups. Come to think of it, the same is true of lion training. As Mrs. Lion grows in her disciplinary skills, my behavior improves. Consistent, unemotional correction is the key. From my perspective, the more consistent Mrs. Lion is with me, the more secure and happy I am.

Wait times between orgasms over the last year.

Sex, namely orgasms for me, have been discussed lately. When we started male chastity, the objective was to control and delay my ejaculations. Unlike many men in male chastity, my keyholder, Mrs. Lion, decided that she wanted control but not to extend the time between my orgasms to weeks or months. Initially, she made me come every night. That was too much for me. Then she extended my wait to three or four days. That was enough time to let me get really horny.

Over the years, the wait grew a little longer. She decided that seven to ten days was appropriate for me. This worked for a long time. Within the last six months, when Mrs. Lion decided to get me off, I couldn’t get there. Even though she tried almost every night, it took over twenty days before I could ejaculate. Mrs. Lion decided I needed orgasm therapy. She tried to get me off instead of teasing me. It didn’t work until February, when I ejaculated between three and ten days after each orgasm.

This was more normal. It seems that seven to ten days is a natural frequency for me. At least that’s how I’ve been over the last seven times. I wonder if this is a case of “use it or lose it.” Am I trained to perform at this frequency? Our experience with other training has demonstrated that I can be trained. I’ve learned to wait until I either get permission, or Mrs. Lion starts eating before anything goes into my mouth. I also have been trained not to masturbate and not to spill onto my shirt. I also remember (almost always) to set up the coffee pot.

Apparently, our male chastity activities have trained me to stop wanting orgasms in less than a week after the last. I am able to ejaculate in less time. I have done it in just three days. Mrs. Lion has decided to reverse this training. I’ve wondered what we can do to fix it. Julie of strictjuliespanks made an interesting observation:

“I get it if you think chastity enhances your sex lives in some way (e.g., along BDSM excitement lines), but it doesn’t seem to be doing that for you anymore. An impartial observer may even say the opposite is going on? Why not give unfettered masturbation a go for a while? Train yourself back into being more of a sexual being through self-pleasure. Don’t sex therapists prescribe something like that to get back in touch with your sexuality? With my husband, we encourage it in one another and make a bit of a game out of it by making it an on-the-spot spanking offense to be caught “red-handed” in the act.”

Julie is suggesting that I begin masturbating again. It’s almost a form of physical training to restart my libido. I’m not sure I can do that. If Mrs. Lion wants me to try, I’m seriously worried that she will stop her efforts. She also mentions that if she catches her husband jerking off, it earns him an immediate spanking. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t want me to jerk off, we can reverse Julie’s rule. If Mrs. Lion can’t make me ejaculate, I earn a spanking. If she’s up for it, she can do it immediately after stopping.

I’m not suggesting that if I can’t ejaculate every day, I get spanked. At least in the beginning, maybe give me two days to recover. On the third day and beyond, no orgasm earns a spanking. Once I reliably ejaculate in three days, go to two. What do you think, Julie?

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Working back in the office is more distracting than working from home. I’d think it would be the other way around. I also have a more challenging time figuring out what day it is when I’m in the office. I guess I’m just backward. The other day I had a headache and was concerned I was getting a cold. It’s also interesting that I didn’t feel sick until I went back to work in the office. I was OK at home. Oh well.

I wasn’t sure Lion would want to play last night. He was snoozing when I got home. We watched a nature program, and I think he was a little distracted, but he was still getting hard. I finally asked if he wanted to come out from under the blankets. He did. I know I said I was going to start anal training, but I haven’t so far. I’ve been running some errands after work, so instead of walking in the door and snuggling in with Lion, I’ve had to take care of a few things. By the time I get the dinner dishes done, I’ve forgotten all about anal training.

Lion seemed excited enough to make it to the edge, but sometimes he’s hard to start with and fizzles out as we go. We have a theory that he needs a sort of orgasm training. I joked that I’d make him come every night like I did when we first started male chastity. I knew he probably wouldn’t be able to do that, but I did want to encourage more orgasms. With that in mind, unless I get too tired or he gets soft, I’ve been marching toward the edge.

Luckily, Lion stayed hard and started making I’m-getting-closer noises. It was taking a while, and I was sweating, but I got him there. He usually asks if he produced much cum. It wasn’t a lot, but I did get some. I assume he’ll make less if he gets more orgasms, but I’ve never been able to figure out the volume versus wait time. I want to say his wait time was seven days this time around. Does that mean if he comes in five days, he’ll have less? Not necessarily. There doesn’t seem to be a correlation. And it really doesn’t matter. While I love getting a mouthful of Lion cream filling, it’s more important to me that it feels good for him. I’ll get my yummy goodness eventually.

Tonight might just be snuggling and idly playing with my weenie, but I don’t expect much interest. I may be wrong. I encourage all interest. We are in training, after all.

Maybe I’m just weirder than the average lion. It seems to me that a gigantic area of interesting and entertaining kinky fun is almost entirely omitted from writing and practice. When you consider the range of stuff people write and read about, it’s a little surprising that something this obvious isn’t front and center. I’m referring to “conditioning”.

No, I don’t mean going to the gym and keeping your muscles toned. I’m referring to changing someone’s behavior. Almost everything written about power exchanges involves the top making the submissive partner do something. Female led relationships, like ours, carry penalties when I break a rule or fail to do something I should. Coercion and punishment are the main themes.

I’m not objecting to these practices since Mrs. Lion and I consistently partake. I have demonstrated the success of punishment-based learning through my success in consistently following my rules. All this is great and we would never change what we are doing. But it leaves a very big area untouched. You can’t really teach someone to be better at doing something pleasurable with spankings. You also can’t provide reinforcement while something is going on with the paddle. There is definitely a place for positive feedback.

All of us are involved in unconscious conditioning behavior. When it comes to sex, we reward our partner by showing our arousal when we are touched in a way we particularly like. I don’t think that many people actually plan the use of positive reinforcement as a way to condition their partners. Probably the most famous conditioning experiment was done by Pavlov. He rang a bell every time he gave his subjects food. He was, of course, working with dogs. After a while, every time he would ring a bell the dogs would salivate. They had been conditioned to associate the sound of a bell with food.

One male fantasy that is based on this sort of conditioning involves the man ejaculating on command. Given the physiology of most men over the age of 17, this rarely works. The idea is that his partner masturbates him, and when he is close to ejaculating tells him that she wants him to come before she reaches a certain count. The idea is that he learns to associate her order to ejaculate with the actual act. If she always does this when he is very close to actual orgasm, it works. It almost never works from a standing start. Enough warm up is needed to get him close enough to the edge before she actually tells him to squirt.

It occurs to me that there are other, less extreme possibilities. Ejaculation may be the ultimate male expression of male sexual arousal, but it is far from the only useful one. One possibility that immediately comes to mind is foreplay. A nearly universal complaint from women is that their partners don’t spend enough time on foreplay. This has less to do with the man being inconsiderate than it does with the difference between males and females when it comes to sexual response. Nonetheless, it’s something women can teach.

For example, what if when both partners are naked, she takes the lead and begins kissing him. At the same time, she plays with his penis. He will quickly grow erect and will respond to her fondling. She will continue playing with him and masturbating him as long as he passionately kisses her. If he stops, she stops. It won’t take very long for him to catch on. She never does it enough so that he will ejaculate during kissing, but just enough to keep him very aroused. Seem a little bit like Pavlov?

Over time, he will become erect when he kisses her. His arousal will grow the longer he keeps it up. She no longer has to bring her hand anywhere near his penis. He’s been conditioned to associate sexual arousal with kissing. This won’t happen immediately. It could take quite a while. Almost any sexual activity can be conditioned this way.

I think there’s a good reason, maybe not a good reason but a reason, that more women don’t try this. I think a lot of women want to assume the man should automatically get this pleasure from the specific activity. He might, but probably not to the same degree that she does. Men and women are different. Women are erogenously sensitive over a much wider area of their bodies than men. Men tend to focus sexual pleasure on their penises. They can learn to enjoy non-penile stimulation, but let’s face it, we guys prefer direct contact.

Many women don’t like that about men. They think we should enjoy non-genital stimulation the same way they do. Without training, we won’t. The question becomes whether it makes sense to ignore the “shoulds” and just go ahead and do the training. Who knows, it might turn out to be big fun.