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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Humiliation, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment, Rewards, Sex

One of our loyal readers, mot0324, posted an interesting comment yesterday:

After all this time I am surprised that you want a “wild penis”. Having worn my JB for several years I no longer feel comfortable without the feeling of confinement.

You and Mrs. Lion have a great blog, thank you for sharing your adventures. And best of luck with the job search. Although I was able to retire early, I realize many folks don’t have that option, either mentally or financially.

First of all, thank you for the good thoughts. It helps to know that our friends care beyond enforced chastity and FLM. This reader brings up an interesting point. He said that he needs to be wearing his Jail Bird in order to feel comfortable. He doesn’t say what specifically, feels uncomfortable when it is off. In my case, I used to want the device on all the time because it meant that Mrs. Lion was in control and would provide stimulation. Going without the cage, I feared, would return us to the lack of sexual activity we suffered for years prior to our enforced chastity. To me, the cage was the symbol of the new, exciting changes we had made.

More recently, I’ve learned to completely trust the changes we have made. I no longer think that the cage is the driving force. Both of us have adopted enforced male chastity and FLM. The cage is a tool and a symbol, not the source of our changes. I don’t mind wearing the cage. I like it. It’s like my wedding ring; a symbol of my commitment to my lioness. Of course, it’s more than that. It physically prevents me from erection, and in a weak moment, self stimulation. It’s bondage that I experience 24/7.

So why would I wish for more uncaged time? I have to admit that it was more convenient. I could pee standing up without making a mess. I could touch my penis. Touching didn’t result in my getting hard. I think the cage and our commitment has made self stimulation close to impossible at this point. The cage isn’t needed for that. I liked being wild. Part of this enjoyment probably comes from the fact that I am not constitutionally submissive. I am learning to submit. I didn’t arrive that way. Mrs. Lion is challenged to train me to submit. Sadly for her, this lion is, at best, a switch. I’m more of a wild beast in need of taming. So an unfettered penis reminds me of my wild days when I could do exactly as I wished.

This might seem odd to you. After all, I asked Mrs. Lion to do enforced chastity and FLM. Some deep down part of my lion heart craves the control this provides. I recognize that and I do my best to cooperate with my taming. This is fairly unusual. All enforced chastity and FLM is consensual. The male asks to surrender. The female agrees to take charge. I freely admit that is exactly what happened to us. I knew this is what I need.

Initially, my desire to do this was driven by very hot fantasies about how it would feel to be dominated. I’ll bet this is what starts it off for most guys. Many dominant women promote these fantasies to put their partners in the right state of mind to begin submitting. In our case it came all from me.

As we also know, after a relatively short time reality sets in. A large number of couples abandon it at that point. Sometimes the woman finds enforced chastity and FLM exciting and will help keep her male’s interest alive. Strategic rewards and punishments continue to feed his original idea of how things would work and he stays engaged. I realized that Mrs. Lion didn’t have the tools to do this with me. She also was neutral, at best, about enforced chastity. Since I have decades of experience as a top (dominant), I helped her learn how to keep me interested and involved. It didn’t take long for her to work it out for herself.

Despite the fact that I completely understand the process, I began to become conditioned. I learned not only to accept orgasm control (the point of enforced male chastity), but enjoy it. With sexual stimulation as the reward, obedience became something I like to do. Now, with suspension of stimulation as a punishment, I’m learning that I can’t be even a little selective in what I choose to obey. I’m addicted to being edged, teased, and occasionally brought to orgasm. I need that and need it often. Withholding these sessions hurts.

All this circles around to the chastity device itself. I no longer need it to prevent me from unauthorized penis play and masturbation. I just don’t do it even when wild. Like the commenter, I am used to having it on, but I don’t think I need it there all the time. So, after a few wild days, I wanted more. No big reason, just because. It was good, I think, that I did. Because when Mrs. Lion handed me the base ring even after I asked for more free time, that little action sent a powerful message: It doesn’t matter if I think I can be good while wild. It doesn’t matter that I wanted some more time. All that matters is what Mrs. Lion wants. She wanted me back in the cage; so back I went.

There is a subtle difference between consent and choice. I consented to surrender control. Once I did that, I gave up the right to make individual choices that differ from Mrs. Lion’s wishes. It was very good that I wanted more wild time because it gave Mrs. Lion another chance to let me know that I didn’t get a choice. She wanted it on NOW, so it went on. Lions don’t get to decide.

Even more importantly, laid-back Mrs. Lion was assertive and had me do what she wanted even though she knew I didn’t want to do it. She has a hard time with “No!” I have a hard time with that too. My education in submission requires a lot more no’s accompanied with rewards for my instant obedience. As she stated in an earlier post, we both need our brains rewired so that our roles become automatic and easier. I need to learn instant obedience and feel the consequences and rewards when I react incorrectly or do as I should. I need to hear, “Good Job!” and “Good Boy!” when I obey. I also need the opposite along with punishment when I fail.

Mrs. Lion has a problem with this. She thinks it’s demeaning; like talking to the dog. In a way she’s right, but in a more important way I’m not unlike the dog when it comes to obedience. I am being trained to obey, even do tricks. I need the same kind of direct feedback to succeed. Over time, I will feel rewarded when I hear, “Good Job!” or “Good Boy!” Whatever works is what we need to do.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment, Sex

Mrs. Lion always tells me that I see big changes in what she considers a small step. It’s true; I can easily generalize a single event into a trend. I’m trying not to do this, but I do think we turned a corner Wednesday night. In her post on Wednesday, Mrs. Lion announced that disobedience would result in loss of sexual play. This is significant for three important reasons: First, Mrs. Lion came up with this on her own with no input of any kind from me. Second, this punishment has no redeeming value for me. It doesn’t relate to any fantasies I have had and is truly unpleasant to contemplate. Third, Mrs. Lion can inflict the punishment without any effort on her part. I’m already locked in my cage. All she has to do to punish me is to not let me out of my cage. No action at all on her part.  All three reasons make this punishment completely cost free for her. Even more significant is that I had no input on this decision.

On Wednesday night Mrs. Lion teased me and edged me a few times. It felt amazing. For the first time in ages I was really horny. I couldn’t stop myself from bucking. It felt great with Mrs. Lion loosely holding my penis. When she saw me getting close, she opened her hand. Frustrating! I kept bucking. After a few seconds I felt her hand tighten. I bucked harder. I was really close and mentally bracing for another letdown. I bucked faster and faster. I was ready to come. She’s going to let go; I know she will. But she didn’t. I fucked her hand as hard as I could and had an amazing orgasm. I didn’t produce much semen. That is a bit worrying. I figured with this much arousal there would be a good amount. In a way it was a good thing. Mrs. Lion fed me every drop.

I was feeling very self-satisfied having had such a wonderful orgasm. Mrs. Lion said, “You know what?”

“What?”

“I got aroused while you were bucking.”

Now that was exciting! I asked if she would like me to give her some orgasms. She said no. Still, we both agreed this is a very good sign. Neither of us want to over-analyze this. She said that it turned her on to see me bucking for my orgasm; me doing the work instead of her. That makes sense to me. She has let me have an orgasm before when I was fucking her hand. I really like how it feels. Passively accepting the stimulation isn’t as exciting for me. Though, I think that if I always bucked my way to edging or orgasm, it would lose the excitement value.

In any case, two significant things happened on Wednesday: Mrs. Lion exerted her power without my agreement or support, and she got aroused while stimulating me. Both of us are more challenged to change. She is internalizing and exerting her power and she is experiencing some awakening of her libido. I am clearly losing control and face real penalties for failing to obey. Whatever the reasons for all this, it is real progress.

By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Sex

Lion listened to me yesterday, like a good boy. He brought in the laundry from the camper and washed all the clothes. When I got home I was supposed to go out to get the food in, but I had a few other more pressing things to do. I decided we could do it today instead. Lion offered to do it. I said I would. I didn’t ask or tell him to do it, but if he does it he won’t get in trouble. I know he’s trying to help. I just didn’t want him to do too much or think it was all on him to clean out the camper yesterday. Because he was a good boy, he earned his play session.

Throughout the day Lion told me he was horny. He told me a few times last night too. Rather than be upset at his announcements, I was happy. I like having a horny Lion. And he’s only been really horny in the past week or so. Boy was he horny! It’s fairly rare that he gets that hard. I mean he gets hard, but when the head really stands out he means business.

I edged him a few times. He was really frustrated. Then, as I was just holding him, he started bucking. I’m a sucker for this. Most of the time, Lion just lays there. I do all the work. It’s nice when he puts some effort into it. I’m not saying every time he starts bucking he’ll get an orgasm, but the combination of a super hard Lion and the bucking made me allow him to come. Somehow it’s sexier to me when he works for it. I even got a little turned on by it. That’s definitely a good sign. We’ve been waiting for signs of life in that department.

I’m sure many of you think I’m giving Lion too many orgasms. Too bad. It’s my decision. He’s my toy and I can play with him however I want. The only thing that matters is whether we’re having fun. I’m going to speak for Lion when I say we’re definitely having fun.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

We got home last night around dinner time. We weren’t hungry though. By the time we got somewhere we could have lunch is was almost 3pm, so we watched some TV and had a small bite around 9. I’ve been uncaged the last five days. I’m writing this on Tuesday night. Per my rules, I am naked but still uncaged. Mrs. Lion has assured me that this condition will be corrected tonight. On Monday night, after a surprisingly strong spanking (for fun: hers), Mrs. Lion edged me once. She tried again, but I just wasn’t staying hard. This is a fairly new occurrence. I generally lose my erection after a ruined (or full) orgasm, but stay hard when teased or edged. The cause is most likely my worry over our current situation. I had an interview last week, but the hiring manager still hasn’t completed interviews due to the holiday, so no answer yet. If this latest change isn’t situational, it may be part of a more general change.

Even though I have been uncaged, nothing has changed in my sexual behavior. I am not getting more erections nor am I inclined to do any illicit playing, even in the shower. True, it’s only been a few days since my last orgasm, but normally I am very interested in coming by now. I could be conditioned away from informal arousal. Wearing a chastity device for eighteen months is bound to have some effects on me. I seem to have learned that I don’t own my arousal and am close to unable to get turned on without Mrs. Lion providing direct stimulation. This wasn’t a goal either of us expressed before or during my enforced chastity. As I think about it, I shouldn’t be surprised.

The big question in my mind is where is this leading? Will I permanently require my lioness to directly stimulate the penis before I can get erect? Is this something she wants? I’m very sure she has no intention of training me this way. But my arousal and ejaculation does belong to her. It seems the penis is now truly her toy and not mine. I can see that many guys would consider this to be the most desirable outcome of enforced chastity. I’m not sure I do. But I’m also not sure I don’t. The fact is that I have no choice. This conditioning wasn’t planned. It just happened.

Of course, I might be wrong and most of my problems with arousal are caused by the financial problems we are having. Some of this has to be due to my worry. But a lot of it is the result of a pattern we have maintained for a year and a half. In that time I have either been physically unable to stimulate myself due to the chastity device, or under direct supervision where playing with myself would be greeted with punishment.  Even now, sitting at my desk without a cage, and writing about arousal, I have absolutely no desire to play with it.

This doesn’t upset me at all. After thinking about it for a while I realize that this is exactly what I asked for and what Mrs. Lion has enthusiastically embraced. This un-submissive lion has very submissively surrendered even the ability to get hard without his lioness explicitly wanting it hard. I’m either discovering my true nature or I’m the poster lion for behavioral conditioning.