Mrs. Lion always tells me that I see big changes in what she considers a small step. It’s true; I can easily generalize a single event into a trend. I’m trying not to do this, but I do think we turned a corner Wednesday night. In her post on Wednesday, Mrs. Lion announced that disobedience would result in loss of sexual play. This is significant for three important reasons: First, Mrs. Lion came up with this on her own with no input of any kind from me. Second, this punishment has no redeeming value for me. It doesn’t relate to any fantasies I have had and is truly unpleasant to contemplate. Third, Mrs. Lion can inflict the punishment without any effort on her part. I’m already locked in my cage. All she has to do to punish me is to not let me out of my cage. No action at all on her part. All three reasons make this punishment completely cost free for her. Even more significant is that I had no input on this decision.
On Wednesday night Mrs. Lion teased me and edged me a few times. It felt amazing. For the first time in ages I was really horny. I couldn’t stop myself from bucking. It felt great with Mrs. Lion loosely holding my penis. When she saw me getting close, she opened her hand. Frustrating! I kept bucking. After a few seconds I felt her hand tighten. I bucked harder. I was really close and mentally bracing for another letdown. I bucked faster and faster. I was ready to come. She’s going to let go; I know she will. But she didn’t. I fucked her hand as hard as I could and had an amazing orgasm. I didn’t produce much semen. That is a bit worrying. I figured with this much arousal there would be a good amount. In a way it was a good thing. Mrs. Lion fed me every drop.
I was feeling very self-satisfied having had such a wonderful orgasm. Mrs. Lion said, “You know what?”
“I got aroused while you were bucking.”
Now that was exciting! I asked if she would like me to give her some orgasms. She said no. Still, we both agreed this is a very good sign. Neither of us want to over-analyze this. She said that it turned her on to see me bucking for my orgasm; me doing the work instead of her. That makes sense to me. She has let me have an orgasm before when I was fucking her hand. I really like how it feels. Passively accepting the stimulation isn’t as exciting for me. Though, I think that if I always bucked my way to edging or orgasm, it would lose the excitement value.
In any case, two significant things happened on Wednesday: Mrs. Lion exerted her power without my agreement or support, and she got aroused while stimulating me. Both of us are more challenged to change. She is internalizing and exerting her power and she is experiencing some awakening of her libido. I am clearly losing control and face real penalties for failing to obey. Whatever the reasons for all this, it is real progress.