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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

Here we are at Monday again. I have a job interview today. With any luck I can get back to work. Today is also punishment day. I have been accumulating some offenses now that Mrs. Lion has decided to pay more attention to my behavior. I am not looking forward to tonight’s spanking. No, not looking forward at all. These sessions are seriously painful. Yesterday, when Mrs. Lion told me that I had eaten before her at lunch, I felt a twinge in my stomach. I know what’s coming. I don’t like it at all. As she is fond of saying, “You asked for this.” Well, I did, but right now I can’t remember why.

I guess I am at one of those times when things all seem to pile up. A big part of it, of course, is our growing financial problems. These problems distract me from our FLM and enforced chastity. As we have both been writing, there are significant benefits keeping me locked in my chastity device. There’s no real chance that I will be allowed to be wild in the future. The FLM is another thing. Neither of us is sure what benefits we will discover as we go along. I think that one important potential plus is that Mrs. Lion will become more comfortable being assertive and expressing her wishes. That by itself would make it worthwhile as far as I am concerned. Another potential benefit is to make me more aware of her needs and more aware of my actions.

Our relationship is very cooperative. We already share chores. We both look for ways to make things easier for each other. So, FLM isn’t intended to shift all the domestic stuff to me. Mrs. Lion has expressed no interest in managing our finances, so I will continue doing that for now. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion has no explicit plan on how she wants things to change. Based on what she has said, at this point it is for my benefit. In other words, she is doing it to make me happy. This is exactly how we started enforced chastity. In the beginning, I could call it off at any time if I didn’t like how it was going. Now I can’t. Mrs. Lion won’t let me. Of course, I don’t want to stop either. The frustration is a small price to pay for the improvements in our communication.

I never dreaded being locked up the way I dread punishment. Enforced chastity is about pleasure, albeit postponed pleasure. FLM is about control; raw power. The benefit for me is praise and avoiding painful or humiliating punishment. Right now it is pure negative reinforcement. Intellectually, I know this is a very good thing for me. I have never been punished directly. My mother punished me indirectly with guilt trips. This new, painful way is healthier. But it isn’t fun at all. Since I’m not particularly submissive or masochistic, there is no pleasure in punishment. But then, isn’t that how it should be. Spanking a masochist is a reward, not a punishment. So, Mrs. Lion’s very painful spankings are exactly right as punishments for me.

What is the up-side for us? Being more attentive to my behavior and punishing me as required is a lot of extra effort for Mrs. Lion. For my part, I have to be extremely careful or suffer very painful spanking. Both of us have to make difficult changes. As I mentioned before, FLM does give my lioness a mandate to be assertive. She is, by nature, a go-along type person. She also is very good at overlooking things that ultimately bother her. The reward for that behavior was lack of conflict. FLM removes the conflict and replaces it with domestic discipline. She no longer has to worry about a fight with me if I interrupt her and she calls me on it. She just has to note it and punish me at the appropriate time.

In her previous marriage she risked painful arguments if she triggered any disagreement. So, she learned to agree even if she didn’t want to do it. She has been like that with me. Even though I never attack her if she disagrees or calls me on something, the difference hasn’t gotten through on a deep level. Since FLM goes a big step further: if she disagrees or is displeased, she takes action to assert her position as my disciplinary wife.

Even though there is no strong reason for this new role assignment in terms of me acting out or doing things destructive to myself or her, FLM appears to offer significant benefits. One of the big ones, I think, is the requirement that she is vigilant. She feels the obligation to note my offenses and then punish them. This sort of awareness is a sea change for her. Under FLM, she properly places the onus for things I do on me. Instead of stuffing any feelings, she now is required to express her displeasure and then punish me for causing the problem.

It’s much more than teaching the lion manners or to not make a mess in the kitchen. It’s teaching the lioness to consciously note lion breaches and to act on them. It’s not permissible for her to just gloss over issues. Her agreement to this power exchange requires her to take on a new role. It’s my hope that this new role will ultimately make her happier and more self confident. It will make me neater and more polite. Mrs. Lion has learned how to punish me in ways that I dread and want to avoid. My expectation is that, like enforced chastity, we won’t see real benefits for some months. It takes time for a power exchange this profound to take root.

By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Rules

Lion has been a good boy for weeks. Well, at least I haven’t punished him for weeks. It’s not that he hasn’t been interrupting me or doing things that he should have been punished for. I just haven’t held him accountable for them. Yesterday was different. He added two things to his list although I said I’d count them as one. And I probably should have added a few more.

The biggest offense happened while Lion was watering one of his plants. He brought it into the kitchen and as he was returning it to the window he spilled water all over the kitchen floor. Then he spilled more water as he brought the plant back to get rid of the excess water. Not really that big a deal, but it was a mess and Lions get punished for their messes in this house. The second offense is the very soggy sponge I encountered when I went to help clean up the mess. When I grab a sponge I want it to be ready to clean up a mess. I don’t want it to create another mess. Big deal. Just squeeze it out before I use it. As far as I’m concerned it should be ready to use without squeezing and I make the rules. Since those two offenses happened together I’m willing to consider it one offense. Later on, my pet interrupted me but I didn’t include that as an offense although I should have. I did tell him that he interrupted me, as a warning.

Technically, I could have added a few more transgressions to the list. When we were out shopping, I was driving and Lion was busy on his phone. Lost in his phone is more correct. He stopped responding to me. This occurred a few times while we were out. He doesn’t appreciate when I don’t respond to him when I am on my iPad so I have made an effort to be more aware of what’s going on around me while I am playing a game. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, or Mrs. Lion and Lion in this case. When he ignores me in the future he will be punished. Fair warning, my pet.

Last night was also the return to edging. I’ve never been good at oral presentations, but Lion liked the one I gave last night. When I was done I asked what his horniness level was. He said he was going to say it wasn’t high but after my attention he was giving me a standing ovation. I then edged him a few times. I think he’s well on his way to being a horny boy again. I love it when he’s horny. He is safely locked in his cage once again although he said he didn’t even notice he was wild. I’m sure he liked the freedom of peeing standing up, but the cage is so comfortable he can’t tell when it’s on. I’m happy about that. He should be comfortable. I’d feel bad if he wasn’t. That’s why I allow him to be wild when there’s a sore spot. I’d much rather clear it up than have him squirming in pain. Administering pain is my job, not the cage’s.

By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Sex, Spanking

This morning, as I was unloading the dishwasher, I had a flashback to this past weekend. Lion fell on the deck and hurt his back. Not knowing how bad it was, and fearing it would get worse with time, I told him to lay down. He said it wasn’t really bad and then winced. We were unloading the dishwasher and he was trying to bend over. I told him he either needed to sit down or lay down and he finally listened. It turns out that it wasn’t bad after all but it’s better to be safe than sorry. It wasn’t until this morning, unloading the dishwasher, that I realized why he listened to me. Once I repeated myself he was afraid to get punished. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I guess if I had a firmer grip on domestic discipline I would be happy that he obeyed a command. As a wife I’m grateful he listened. As someone who loves him more than anything, I was just trying to take care of him and it hadn’t even occurred to me to play the punishment card. So what’s the difference? In my mind, from now on, I’ll be wondering if he’s doing something because he agrees or because he’s trying to avoid punishment. Who cares? Isn’t this what I should be striving for? I guess so. But I think I’m still at a point where I’m fighting being in charge. I hope that will change.

As you’ve probably read, Lion had an orgasm last night. His scheduled date wasn’t until Thursday but I took pity on the poor quivering mess of horny Lion in front of me and decided to end his misery. He thinks eleven days was a long time to wait. When I checked the calendar, his next date is much longer. Good thing I decided to adjust things. From sixteen days down to…. Nope. I can’t say. Mostly because I don’t remember off the top of my head, but also because Lion shouldn’t know.

We will continue with the nightly edging. It was a good experiment. It’s nice to have him spring to attention the second the cage comes off. And knowing he’s grumbling to himself because he’s super horny is amusing. Poor Lion. I also decided I can use this edging as a punishment if I want. Did he do something wrong? Uh oh. No edging tonight, my pet.

Last night was also maintenance swat night. He got six semi-hard swats and he took them very well. He yelled a little into the pillow but he stayed still. I used a wooden spoon because it was the first thing I found. I’ll probably try different paddles, more or less swats, and harder versus softer swats as we go along. I can’t let him get accustomed to the maintenance swats anymore than he should get accustomed to punishment swats.

As you can see, I’m still all over the map with punishment and being in charge. Sometimes it feels like the most natural thing to do. And then it turns around to be something I hate. I’ll reel it in eventually.

By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Spanking

It seems that Lion is satisfied with being unsatisfied. I guess that’s a good defense mechanism when you have no idea how long the wait is until the next orgasm. I was wondering if he’d hit a wall at some point and really start begging for release. So far that hasn’t happened. Will it happen if I push him longer and longer? I don’t know. I think he’s adopted the mantra “I can make it one more day.” With that mindset he should be able to make it through any sort of wait.

I know he wants to come. I know I want him to come. My goal is for us both to make it to the scheduled date while doing the nightly edging. Once we hit that date I don’t know how we’ll proceed. I’m sure Lion wants the nightly teasing to continue. It might. I haven’t decided yet. I may go back to the every other night schedule with a few extra days thrown in to keep him on his toes. Let’s just make it through this experiment before we start another one.

That said, tonight we start another experiment. It’s the first maintenance spanking night. I’m not at all sure how it will go. How will it differ from a punishment night? I guess the short answer is that Lion will actually get some swats. He’s been a good boy for so long he hasn’t earned any swats. Rather than manufacturing rules that he can’t help but break, now I will punish him for no reason. Makes sense to me. (No, it doesn’t and I don’t think it ever will. Just nod your head and agree with the crazy person.) Except I’m not really punishing him. I’m just giving his buns a reminder of what it’s like to be punished. In case he breaks a rule and needs a real punishment, which is on a different day.

I suppose I should make it a rule that he has to remind me it’s maintenance spanking night in case I forget, just like he has to remind me about punishment night. I know I’ll forget. At least initially. It took me a few weeks to remember punishment night. So the same rule now applies to maintenance spanking night. Lion has to remind me before 8:30 pm or the infraction will go on his punishment list. One of us is bound to forget at some point early on.

I just got my morning email. Lion reports that he is super horny today. It would be nice if tonight is his night. Is it? I’m not telling.

[Lion — I really hope that Mrs. Lion continues the daily edging. Beyond being sexy fun, it gives us yet another reason to be physical with one another. I really love that. My vote is to keep it up. Also, maintenance spanking isn’t punishment with no reason. It is practice. We both need to handle discipline more naturally. Mrs. Lion needs to be more comfortable just waling away to punish me. I have to learn to stay still. There’s a reason. Practice makes perfect.]