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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

Maintenance Spanking sure sounds like an oxymoron to me. What does beating my butt maintain? It’s not as silly as it sounds. As I have read about it, maintenance spanking has two functions: it reminds the spankee of his submissive role, and perhaps more important, it reminds the dominant of her role. It also, interestingly, provides important communication. Of course, the concept of being hurt without any specific reason.

I know that when I read about this, I found the idea unpleasant. After all, Mrs. Lion’s disciplinary spankings are very painful. She always delivers them with cool authority. They hurt and she expects them to hurt a lot. Each time I get one, it is for one or more misses on my part. It’s earned retribution. It’s true that when we first started FLM, she spanked me every night for a week. She did this to help herself learn that it was OK to inflict pain that way. It was a necessary self-training exercise for her. It didn’t make it hurt less to know that, but I had to agree it was a worthy purpose. Ultimately, it helps her be better in her role.

According to my reading, some couples who practice domestic discipline believe that frequent physical reminders of the power balance are needed to keep the surrendered husband under control. This is the FLM equivalent of making men practicing enforced chastity wait very long times between orgasms; it keeps them submissive and obedient. The theory there is that for days after an orgasm, a male will be lazy and uninterested in serving his keyholder. I don’t feel any less willing to serve Mrs. Lion an hour after I come than I do after waiting for two weeks. If there are guys whose docility is affected by getting to ejaculate, then they certainly should be given very infrequent orgasms.

I think it is different with domestic discipline; at least during the first year or two. Very few women will instinctively reach for a paddle and spank their husbands if they break a rule or fail to keep a promise. Yet, the root of domestic discipline is for the surrendered husband to be disciplined severely after any infraction. Mrs. Lion is nowhere near that point with me. That change will take time; a lot of it. After all, it took her many months to get comfortable with frustrating me day after day. It’s not easy for her at all. Disciplining me is ever harder.

To be fair, I am not accustomed to accepting punishment without question. It is easier for me. All I have to do is present my bare bottom. I do try to escape after a few swats. That is certainly unacceptable behavior. There are only two ways we can improve our disciplinary roles: Either I have to have many more opportunities to mess up so that Mrs. Lion has a reason on every punishment day to discipline me, or we have scheduled maintenance spankings with their own rules.

As I see it, I have to be trained to lie still for a very painful spanking, not try to roll over or squirm away. Mrs. Lion has to learn to be ruthless and to spank hard and fast regardless of my displeasure. Both will take a lot of practice. We have to avoid confusing maintenance spanking with discipline. In the case of discipline, Mrs. Lion will tie me down in order to keep me in place for my full punishment. That will get much more painful as she learns to feel good about administering it.  Maintenance spankings are a learning experience. My thought, which I know I will regret if Mrs. Lion does it, is that she has me assume the spanking position and administers a number of punishment swats. I have to hold still. If I don’t, she tells me that she is starting again and she does. This repetition continues until I learn to hold still. In the first sessions, I would hope we would start with a fairly small number of swats. Over time the number increase as does the speed they are administered.

To avoid confusing discipline with maintenance, I think we should do maintenance on a different night. If punishment is Monday and Thursday, maybe maintenance is Wednesday and Saturday. That is up to Mrs. Lion. Like many things about FLM, the concepts seem odd and not applicable to us. But as I think about them more, I realize they would help us too.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Last night, after I had unlocked Lion to do some manscaping and then edged him a few times in search of pre-cum, we were watching tv. I was on my iPad and Lion asked a question. Before I could respond he both asked if I was paying attention and then declared I wasn’t paying attention. The truth is, I was trying to form a coherent thought. We’d been watching something about the Northern Lights and it was mesmerizing even if I was also on my iPad. It annoyed me that he was so quick to jump to the conclusion that I wasn’t paying attention.

First of all, I’ve been trying to be better at responding to him even when I am in the middle of something, especially when it’s “just” a game. Secondly, sometimes I am reading something interesting and he really is interrupting me, but he wants me to drop everything to answer him (or lock him back in the cage, or help him look for a snack, or whatever). Thirdly, sometimes Lion gets involved on his iPad (or a book or magazine, etc.) and doesn’t answer me, but I realize he’s in the middle of something so I wait until he’s through before I engage him.

So what did I do when he declared I wasn’t paying attention? Did I tell him he was a bad boy and that little outburst required punishment? Did I grab a paddle and take care of it that very instant? Nope. I turned off my iPad, plugged it in and didn’t do anything. Fail! It didn’t even occur to me till later that I should have punished him. True, I can still add it to the list. But I need to get into the mindset of punishing him right away. Or at least telling him to add it to the list right away. It just highlights that I am not very good at punishing him. Yes, I am effective with the swats, but I am not effective at calling out behaviors that need correction.

Mrs. Lion has a lot of work to do to conquer the punishment beast. Luckily, Lion makes his share of mistakes to give me more practice.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

I took Lion’s advice last night and spanked him more times but with less force. I decreased the whompage. He still squirmed and yelled and seemed highly offended. He didn’t like the hard swats. He didn’t like the easier swats. I get the feeling he doesn’t like punishment swats. I pointed out that I am only doing what he wants me to do. That didn’t make him feel any better. He said he didn’t think his butt was as red as it was with the hard swats. Is that the point really? I don’t care how red his butt is. Sure it’s cute when it’s red and on fire. But he can’t see it so it doesn’t really matter how red it is. He needs to feel it.

His punishment list wasn’t very long and they weren’t really big mistakes anyway so it wasn’t a big punishment. I’m sure at some point in the future he’ll have something big on the list that requires both a lot of swats and hard swats. I’m positive he won’t like that. I’ll need to tie him down and stuff a sock in his mouth. He normally buries his face in the pillows so I don’t really need a sock. For a huge punishment he might need a bullet to bite. But I’m not sure I’d ever do that big a spanking. A big punishment would need a little more creativity. Something that will really stick with him. He’s been telling me that spanking is not the only way to punish him. He might get what he asked for. And then, of course, be sorry he asked for it.

Lion’s been very lucky lately in the orgasm department. Technically this wait was supposed to be fairly long, but we’re playing by my rules and even though he can’t break my rules, I can. I’ve decided whenever the whim strikes me I’ll make him come. He’s not any more or less attentive so that’s not an issue. He tries to be a good boy. It will boil down to how much pity I take on him for being horny and how much I want to taste him. Sometimes being in charge is a good thing. Other times it’s a giant headache.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

That is the question. Even though Lion is not working, he likes to wake up and have breakfast with me before I go to work. I usually do the same thing if I’m not working and he is. It starts the day off right. Part of my normal Sunday night routine is asking if the alarm is set. Lion assures me it is and we go to sleep.

I woke up a few minutes before seven today. For some reason I was thinking that the alarm would go off at 7 and all would be right with the world. It wasn’t until it was actually 7 that I realized that the alarm should have gone off at 6:30. Crap! Lion was still sound asleep so I got up to feed the animals and get ready for work. No breakfast for me. No coffee. Just hit the ground running. I did manage to get some coffee in a travel mug and grab a muffin on the way out the door.

Just before I left I went to give Lion a kiss. I may not have had breakfast but I always try to give him a kiss. Even when I leave before he wakes up he always gets one. Sometimes it’s on his shoulder, but it’s a kiss nonetheless. The silly dog woke him up just before I could make it around to his side of the bed. He mumbled something about it being early and I said it was actually late.

I don’t know if the alarm did, in fact, go off but the volume was low or if it never went off. And I should probably set my own alarm anyway if for no other reason than a fail safe. But I’ve been sitting here wondering if this qualifies as a punishable offense. It’s not like Lion stayed up all night thinking about ways to wreck my morning. He didn’t purposely make the alarm not go off. It could have been avoided if I had just set my own alarm. And it seems like yet another piece of electronics is out to cause trouble in the house. The coffee maker leaking is the other one. We must have some bad ju-ju going on lately. Do ghosts migrate in the spring like birds do? Maybe that’s what going on.

So I’m leaning toward not punishing him for the alarm. We’ll just chalk it up to Monday morning. And ghost migration.