By:
In: Edging, Orgasm, Spanking

Lion is happy again. He’s thinking about the future. Unfortunately, he’s forgetting about the present. Having cell phone reception is such a novelty where we are, we were both checking email and surfing the web while we waited for our pizza at lunch yesterday. I gave each of us a slice and we continued on with our online activities. When I looked up again, Lion was busily chewing and reading. I asked if there was a problem. He looked at my uneaten pizza and knew he was in trouble. He then sheepishly reminded me it was punishment night. It certainly was.

I have been taking it easy on the poor boy. Not for the whole six months he was unemployed. We kept things as normal as possible for the first four months or so. As the time wore on and Lion got more and more down about being out of a job, it didn’t seem right to have business as usual. He didn’t feel like playing and punishing him, while probably just what he needed, did not seem fair. Now all bets are off.

When I came out of the bedroom last night I was holding the hairbrush paddle. I made Lion stand up with his hands on the counter and I gave his buns a whole bunch of nasty whacks. He was sure I was done about halfway through. Nope. He needed a few more whacks. He said all he did was take a bite of pizza before me. Was he saying the punishment didn’t fit the crime? Who decides that? I think it’s me. So he got those extra whacks, grumbled a bit and then sat down.

He may not have liked the punishment, but he knew the fun was coming. As soon as I touched him he was hard. I don’t think I edged him so much as got him all riled up. I was afraid to give him a ruined orgasm. It’s just as much fun to get him somewhat close and stop anyway, especially on a night he knows he’ll get his orgasm. It’s one thing to know it’s coming and quite another to know exactly when.

I teased him for a bit with my hand and then couldn’t resist using my mouth. I can get his motor running better with my mouth. I tortured the poor boy. I knew he was ready, but I kept asking him. It’s so much fun to hear him tell me he’s ready when all he can do is whisper. Finally I let him come.

Lion is once again a satisfied boy. Normally he wouldn’t be horny again for a few days, but he is sometimes horny as soon as the next day. I have a feeling he’ll tell me he’s horny on the way home today. It’s a sign that things are returning to normal.

By:
In: Edging, Orgasm

Lion is definitely not broken. I wasn’t going to edge him last night, but the second I touched him he jumped to attention. He’s a horny boy. He was very close to whimpering last night. The poor boy. I’m so mean to him sometimes.

We were talking yesterday about his bonus orgasm. My original plan was to wait until he actually started his new job. The problem is, that’s the date of his next scheduled orgasm. What kind of a bonus is that? So then my idea was to wait until he got used to the idea of having a job. If last night is any indication, he’s already used to the idea. But he wasn’t going to get one last night since tonight is his night.

Lion now has an embarrassment of riches. He’ll get three orgasms in the next two weeks. It’s not really an extreme amount considering his average of an orgasm every ten days or so. He has his two scheduled orgasms. The only thing he knows about the bonus is that it will happen sometime between tonight and the 21st. Should I let him decide? I don’t think so. If he wants to decide when his orgasm will be he has coupons for that. He’s reluctant to use them. So it’s up to me.

I know Lion will have fun in the next few weeks. I will too. I love giving him orgasms almost as much as he loves getting them. It’s fun for me to edge him and torture him before finally putting him out of his misery. I also love the silly smile on his face afterwards. And he’s usually out of breath and wiped out. But the best part, to me, is the cream filling. He hates to eat it, but I love it. That’s my bonus.

So in the next few weeks we’ll both be lucky. Lots of play. Lots of Lion cum. Win-win-win.

By:
In: Advice for a new keyholder, Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Orgasm, Punishment, Spanking

I think enforced chastity is growing up. More and more people are opening the windows to let the dank, sweaty smell of perversion out of the chastity room and letting in the sunshine and fresh air of orgasm control. More and more reality is surfacing. Yesterday, Thumper wrote a post on the realities of becoming a keyholder. It’s a refreshing view of how he sees the role. I’ve written a few posts about this too. Thumper has a wide readership and good search engine coverage. I am very happy to say we do too. What that means is that more people will get a realistic view of enforced chastity instead of the fantasy crap that turns so many people off. There’s a new blog that presents what I think is a honest view of one woman’s introduction to being a keyholder. The Adventures of Miss Kitty and Rover is only three posts old. A woman who has been learning to top her partner is starting out as a keyholder. It’s an interesting read. If you haven’t seen it, I keep a list of interesting blogs on the right column of this blog. It’s updated to show the most recent posts. I regularly read these blogs and I think they offer useful and interesting insights into enforced chastity and FLM. I also think it is high time that we bloggers promote one another. I don’t lose you as a reader if I help you find other, more interesting things to read. It’s a sign of maturity that we promote one another.

This is one of those posts that will make things harder and more painful for me. I am writing it out of my desire to be completely honest about what I think is right for us. Mrs. Lion and I have been maturing in enforced chastity as well. Power has gradually shifted from my suggestions — sort of topping from the bottom, but really education — to Mrs. Lion independently owning my penis and its use. As Thumper pointed out in his post, this doesn’t often make me very happy, but it is exactly what I need. Use of my penis is completely up to her. For a long time she used it in the way she believed would make me happy. I did enjoy all the orgasms that yielded. But I didn’t like the degree of control I exercised over getting them. Mrs. Lion has taken firmer control. At my request, she has told me the earliest date I can expect my next orgasm. Currently, it’s August 15th, our anniversary. I still have nine days go to. It will be one of my longest waits. Mrs. Lion edges me every night just to keep my interest up. She is edging me many times each time. Before, she would edge me three or four times and lock me up. Now she keeps going way past that number. Before she is done, I am bucking hard trying to get past the edge. I think she likes that.

In fact, I get the feeling she is enjoying her keyholder role more and more. At least I hope she is. She seems to be learning that making me frustrated and unhappy with my wait is a good thing. She is definitely learning that making my spankings as painful as possible is the right way to do them. Monday night her spanking created a sore spot that I told her about. She made a point of hitting that spot harder and more often. On Tuesday night, our maintenance spanking night, she asked about the spot and then made sure she hit it. I really hated it each time she found it, but I have to admit I am proud of her for disregarding my complaints and doing her job as my disciplinary wife and keyholder.

I admit it; I’m spoiled. I’m very used to calling the shots. I resist when things go past the point I want. I don’t think I top from the bottom, but I let Mrs. Lion know when she has gone “too far”. I am unhappy with my current 18 day wait. That is longer than I want to wait. To quote an online friend, “Suck it up, buttercup.” I was unhappy with a sore spot continuing to be hit hard. It went past what I wanted; way past. My internal limit for a wait is 11 days. Anything past that feels like too much. Spankings should hurt, but not *really* hurt. Yes, I see the problem with that. These are soft limits that define the boundaries of my comfort zone. When we started out, it made sense to respect those soft limits. It gave both of us a chance to fit into our roles.

Enforcing soft limits is a form of control. Intentionally violating them transfers control from me to my lioness. I absolutely hate waiting 18 or more days, especially with more and more teasing. It’s horrible! But, you know what? It’s establishing Mrs. Lion’s role as keyholder. Ignoring my soft limits establishes her authority. Exceeding my soft limit on spanking pain is another good way. It’s harder to do. She may have to tie me down and gag me (to avoid my complaining and screaming) to do it, but the effect it will have is profound. I need to know without any doubt that I have no control; none. This hasn’t happened up until now for two reasons: First, it’s a lot of extra work to tie me down and gag me. Second, it’s very difficult to hurt someone past the point they want or expect it.

For this to happen consistently, Mrs. Lion has to embrace her role. I think she has made remarkable progress. Since she can’t add her own orgasms to the mix, any satisfaction she can get out of being my keyholder and disciplinary wife has to come from a different well. I know she has no love of power or control, so controlling me more completely won’t provide her with any new joy. One source of joy can be giving me what I need. That’s a lot different than giving me what makes me happy or what I want. By definition, her roles aren’t intended to make me happy, or for that matter, unhappy. They are roles of ownership and control. Does that equate with the more unhappy I am the better she is doing her job? It sounds that way, doesn’t it? I don’t think so. Yes, some pain and frustration is needed. Inflicting them is the only way to see if the power exchange is, in fact, working. My reaction to this 18 day (or more) wait will inform her about my acceptance of her control. I can complain a bit, even whine. If I get on her nerves, then she needs to let me know. She knows how to do that.

I freely admit that I have not let go of my wish to control or at least influence when I can come. I like to think I can stop Mrs. Lion from hurting me “too much” when she spanks me. I know I have to learn that I can’t do either, ever. This will take time and a lot of unhappiness on my part. Lions are stubborn and are not easy to tame. Poor Mrs. Lion.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Orgasm, Punishment, Sex, Spanking

I like what Mrs. Lion’s wrote in her post yesterday. It started me thinking about exactly what I care about in terms of getting off. When I am in the process of being teased and edged, coming moves front and center in my mind. At that time I really want to come and will do anything to convince her to finally let me ejaculate. At other times my interest goes from no interest at all to active fantasies that envision an orgasm.

When it comes to being made to wait for an orgasm, I am as torn about how long is the right length as is Mrs. Lion. It isn’t a matter of how long I can wait. I’m sure I won’t turn into a puddle of desire no matter how long I go without coming. More likely, the longer the wait, the less interested I will grow. Other guys have reported this. Yes, the teasing is amazing and I love it. It can become an end in and of itself. One reason I asked if I could know my next orgasm date is that I can look forward to it. In a very real sense it keeps my desire growing during the time it would normally wane. In her post, Mrs. Lion said,

“Depending on how he handles his knowledge of the scheduled date, I may wait the full amount. It’s up to him. And not in the he’s-calling-the-shots way, but in the how-much-does-he-whine way.”

Does this mean that if I whine enough, Mrs. Lion will give me an early orgasm? I hope not. For me, at least part of the “fun” of waiting is being able to do some whining about how much I want to come. If Mrs. Lion reacts to this by giving me an early orgasm, she’s misunderstanding my complaints. A certain amount of “poor lion is so horny” is part of the game. On every level there is no imperative to get me off early. The way I feel is quite simply that it isn’t how long I have to wait. What counts to me is that Mrs. Lion is in total control and I can’t influence when she will let me come. That’s true if my wait is five days or 500. The thrill is loss of control; of knowing that my release is 100% at Mrs. Lion’s whim.

In the past I’ve felt that I’ve gotten some orgasms because I whined about needing one so badly. I winced a little inside when that resulted in a handjob to orgasm. I don’t want it to be up to me. I want it to be up to her. That’s what makes things so exciting. I suspect that Mrs. Lion worries that she isn’t making me happy when I am in distress because I want an orgasm. I think that is why she said that whether I go the full time or not is up to me. The one thing I want is that it isn’t up to me at all. I think she should enjoy my distress, not feel badly about it. If the mood strikes her to make me ejaculate, then she should.

This is just like spanking. She works hard to spank me hard enough and long enough to make her point. I know she doesn’t want to hurt me. Perhaps the fact that she is doing something she doesn’t want to do could motivate her to be more severe; punish me for making her feel badly for hurting me. I think that part of the problem here is that I initiated enforced chastity and FLM. Mrs. Lion does it for my benefit. I think that she feels she isn’t succeeding if I’m not having fun.

To be completely clear, I’m not suggesting longer waits. I’m also not suggesting shorter ones. I’m not saying that I should be spanked more soundly. What I am saying is that I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge, sexually and otherwise. I have given her ideas about how I see it working. I think she evaluates her performance on  how much I like what she does. In my opinion, that’s a mistake. She should judge how well her punishments work by observing if my behavior improves. If not, I probably need the volume turned up. In terms of enforced chastity, I think that she is most successful when she makes sure I have no control over when I get to come. Whining about being very horny should be greeted with a laugh, or if I am annoying, added days to my scheduled release. What will make me truly happy is learning that I have absolutely no control over things. That is what a power exchange is all about.

[ Mrs. Lion — It was supposed to be a contrast. It’s up to Lion how long he waits based not on his calling the shots (topping from the bottom), but on how much toddler activity there is. Tantrums and snarky behavior will not earn Lion a speedier orgasm; he’ll earn at least an additional two days to his wait.  A certain amount of whining is to be expected. Too much ceases to be cute. Whine at your own risk, Lion!]