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In: Male Control (training), Masturbation, Orgasm
Wait times between orgasms over the last year.

Sex, namely orgasms for me, have been discussed lately. When we started male chastity, the objective was to control and delay my ejaculations. Unlike many men in male chastity, my keyholder, Mrs. Lion, decided that she wanted control but not to extend the time between my orgasms to weeks or months. Initially, she made me come every night. That was too much for me. Then she extended my wait to three or four days. That was enough time to let me get really horny.

Over the years, the wait grew a little longer. She decided that seven to ten days was appropriate for me. This worked for a long time. Within the last six months, when Mrs. Lion decided to get me off, I couldn’t get there. Even though she tried almost every night, it took over twenty days before I could ejaculate. Mrs. Lion decided I needed orgasm therapy. She tried to get me off instead of teasing me. It didn’t work until February, when I ejaculated between three and ten days after each orgasm.

This was more normal. It seems that seven to ten days is a natural frequency for me. At least that’s how I’ve been over the last seven times. I wonder if this is a case of “use it or lose it.” Am I trained to perform at this frequency? Our experience with other training has demonstrated that I can be trained. I’ve learned to wait until I either get permission, or Mrs. Lion starts eating before anything goes into my mouth. I also have been trained not to masturbate and not to spill onto my shirt. I also remember (almost always) to set up the coffee pot.

Apparently, our male chastity activities have trained me to stop wanting orgasms in less than a week after the last. I am able to ejaculate in less time. I have done it in just three days. Mrs. Lion has decided to reverse this training. I’ve wondered what we can do to fix it. Julie of strictjuliespanks made an interesting observation:

“I get it if you think chastity enhances your sex lives in some way (e.g., along BDSM excitement lines), but it doesn’t seem to be doing that for you anymore. An impartial observer may even say the opposite is going on? Why not give unfettered masturbation a go for a while? Train yourself back into being more of a sexual being through self-pleasure. Don’t sex therapists prescribe something like that to get back in touch with your sexuality? With my husband, we encourage it in one another and make a bit of a game out of it by making it an on-the-spot spanking offense to be caught “red-handed” in the act.”

Julie is suggesting that I begin masturbating again. It’s almost a form of physical training to restart my libido. I’m not sure I can do that. If Mrs. Lion wants me to try, I’m seriously worried that she will stop her efforts. She also mentions that if she catches her husband jerking off, it earns him an immediate spanking. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t want me to jerk off, we can reverse Julie’s rule. If Mrs. Lion can’t make me ejaculate, I earn a spanking. If she’s up for it, she can do it immediately after stopping.

I’m not suggesting that if I can’t ejaculate every day, I get spanked. At least in the beginning, maybe give me two days to recover. On the third day and beyond, no orgasm earns a spanking. Once I reliably ejaculate in three days, go to two. What do you think, Julie?

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In: Sex

One benefit of blogging is that it’s easy to see change over time. In 2014 it was a huge deal for me to surrender sexual control. I agreed to stop masturbating and let Mrs. Lion decide what sexual relief I would get. I asked her to lock my penis in a male chastity device. That was very exciting to me. After a while, wearing a chastity device became routine. I completely broke the habit of jerking off and accepted Mrs. Lion’s sexual control.

Now, in our eighth year of doing this, I can’t imagine taking things into my own hands. I don’t resent it if Mrs. Lion decides not to please me. It’s up to her. I still get horny and hope for relief. More often than not, when Mrs. Lion decides to stimulate me, I’m tired and not as responsive as either of us would like. Part of it is a sign of age. Most is a subtle shift in the part of my brain that controls sex.

I worried that perhaps I was losing some of my ability to reach orgasm. My doctor checked testosterone levels. Mine is dead center in the range of acceptable values. Physically, I’m fine. Any changes are in my head. There is indeed such a thing as sexual boredom. Both sexes can grow tired of the same old thing. Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to get me off. If you eliminate vaginal and anal intercourse, there are only two.

For a very long time, Mrs. Lion used her hand for teasing and orgasms. More than 99% of my sexual stimulation was from her hand. She has an excellent hand, by the way. Eventually, I stopped responding when she tried to jerk me off. I couldn’t get to the edge or ejaculate that way. She also has a sore shoulder that hurts when she masturbates me. Being an inventive lioness, she switched to her mouth for both teasing and ejaculations. That works fine. I hope it always will. I do love it.

Not long after we began blogging, Mrs. Lion’s libido turned off. She lost interest in sex. She was able to orgasm–I gave her several. She didn’t enjoy them and didn’t want more. This has been my biggest challenge. All sex is for me. I feel selfish. Also, Mrs. Lion has no motivation to get me off other than her altruistic desire to make me happy. I’m grateful for that, but it does make me feel like her favorite charity.

She feels bad because she knows I want her to want sex. She doesn’t want sex, and if it weren’t for me, she would be perfectly happy without a sex drive. She’s trying to revive her interest in sex with a change in the medications she is taking. One of them does frequently kills interest in sex. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be fine with the status quo. Sure, I miss two-person sex. Mrs. Lion knows that. We have other, more important things. We are deeply in love. We are best friends. That counts more than sex.

By:
In: Punishment
Lion’s shock collar. It always makes him jump.

Apparently, Mrs. Lion has been giving thought to how she can communicate with me when I’ve done something to displease her. She’s expressed concern that verbal cues might cause undue attention in public. I thought she had some good ideas on that score. Another idea was to have me wear my shock collar when we are out and about. She could then zap me when she wished to let me know I was getting in trouble.

These are excellent ideas. I’m not too fond of either of them, but I have to admit they would certainly get my attention. What’s not clear is whether the zap or reprimand constitutes my entire punishment. Is Mrs. Lion saying that the instant feedback warns me that the paddle will be coming when convenient for her? Knowing her, it probably won’t. However, regretted as I will, I think a spanking should be part of every reprimand.

A more interesting question is what will provoke these zaps and reprimands? Obviously, forgetting to set up the coffee pot will require that. What will? Is this the solution to the problem of how to begin expressing displeasure at things I say? I’m all in favor of any technique that will help her more actively correct me. It’s uncomfortable for me when I think I’m doing something she doesn’t like, and she doesn’t say anything or do anything.

I may respond immediately to a reprimand or zap, but I can tell you that I’m doubtful to learn any significant lesson that way. I wish it weren’t that way, but I tend to forget the zap or verbal rebuke almost as soon as I get them. I’m far more likely to learn when my instructor is a paddle being applied to my bottom. Mrs. Lion knows this. In a way, this is good news. We both agree that, at least for the time being, I need more spankings, and Mrs. Lion needs more practice delivering them.

Even though we agree on this, implementing any new practice is difficult for us. Maybe we have to go back to the sort of technique we used we first began domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion made sure I had several easy-to-break rules that would get me in trouble more than once a week. I know she’s been thinking about this subject but hasn’t been able to articulate anything yet. I think she might want to consider ordinary conversational niceties. Perhaps requiring me to ask permission before speaking (Yuck!) Or some other practice that would help us get better at our disciplinary roles.

Mrs. Lion has been having problems with her stomach and shoulders. This pain necessarily distracts her from more entertaining activities. I hope she will soon be able to get back on the horse and resume her disciplinary role.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

The other day I was working in my home office. I’m on a quest to get an agent. It’s a frustrating process that is unlikely to work out. Unsolicited submissions like mine are almost always ignored. Do you know a literary agent that might help me? Anyway, the doorbell rang, and Mrs. Lion answered it. She was home early from work. It was one of her friends who was stopping by on the way out of town. They chatted. I felt odd. I was, as usual, stark naked. Her friend knows me, and I expected her to say hello. I wondered if she would poke her head into my office. She didn’t say hello or poke. I was glad because it would have been embarrassing. I was also a little upset she didn’t say hello. I thought she liked me. [Mrs. Lion — I bet she thought it was a little odd you didn’t say hello to her.]

Saturday night was definitely not frustrating. Mrs. Lion gave me a huge oral orgasm after a nine-day wait. I loved it! In her post yesterday, she commented that I asked her to use her hand a different way when teasing me. I may have offended her a little. I didn’t mean to do that. It just didn’t feel very good, and I had a suggestion that improved things a lot. I hope that feedback wasn’t inappropriate. [Mrs. Lion — Not offended. I was trying to be funny in my post.]

We’ve been discussing adding dialogue to my spankings. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure she can do that. I understand. She had a very steep learning curve to give me disciplinary spankings. Adding scolding is another challenge that may be more than she wants to accept at this point. We received a very instructive comment on the subject from Julie of strictjuliespanks (one of my favorite blogs). Here’s what she said:

“Scolding during spanking and getting a response I find to be very useful as a way of gauging how much to spank that day. When his responses go from a bit surly to heartfelt, contrite, and pleading, it acts as a sort of “yellow” signal that he’s about done. Mind you, as lion says, that’s when you can announce the warmup is over and punishment will now start.

Scolding requires a bit of practice but is really pretty easy in the end. Just don’t be at all concerned with being repetitive. You can ask over and over again “will you ever do that again?”. Add in a few “I think it’s ridiculous that a man your age needs to be punished like a little boy” and you’re all set. Better yet, lion is a writer, and is obsessed, so ask him to print out a long list of scolding phrases that turn his crank. Each time you can pull out 2 or 3 new ones. Once you have a repertoire of a dozen or so, it’s more than enough as you can chain them together in so many different ways.”

It’s excellent advice. I can see how adding this to my punishment can be very challenging. Speaking of challenges, Mrs. Lion agreed that she would find ways to express her displeasure if I am a know-it-all or interrupt her. She can probably give me “the look” when I do it and follow up later. We discussed pre-spanking activities. Often, Mrs. Lion’s shoulder will be hurting, and she won’t feel up to beating me. We talked about her soaping my mouth or doing some other unpleasant, low-energy thing close to the offense and then spanking me when convenient for her. We both agree that spanking is the best way to punish me. The other activities serve as placeholders.