Just Sex, Yes Please

One benefit of blogging is that it’s easy to see change over time. In 2014 it was a huge deal for me to surrender sexual control. I agreed to stop masturbating and let Mrs. Lion decide what sexual relief I would get. I asked her to lock my penis in a male chastity device. That was very exciting to me. After a while, wearing a chastity device became routine. I completely broke the habit of jerking off and accepted Mrs. Lion’s sexual control.

Now, in our eighth year of doing this, I can’t imagine taking things into my own hands. I don’t resent it if Mrs. Lion decides not to please me. It’s up to her. I still get horny and hope for relief. More often than not, when Mrs. Lion decides to stimulate me, I’m tired and not as responsive as either of us would like. Part of it is a sign of age. Most is a subtle shift in the part of my brain that controls sex.

I worried that perhaps I was losing some of my ability to reach orgasm. My doctor checked testosterone levels. Mine is dead center in the range of acceptable values. Physically, I’m fine. Any changes are in my head. There is indeed such a thing as sexual boredom. Both sexes can grow tired of the same old thing. Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to get me off. If you eliminate vaginal and anal intercourse, there are only two.

For a very long time, Mrs. Lion used her hand for teasing and orgasms. More than 99% of my sexual stimulation was from her hand. She has an excellent hand, by the way. Eventually, I stopped responding when she tried to jerk me off. I couldn’t get to the edge or ejaculate that way. She also has a sore shoulder that hurts when she masturbates me. Being an inventive lioness, she switched to her mouth for both teasing and ejaculations. That works fine. I hope it always will. I do love it.

Not long after we began blogging, Mrs. Lion’s libido turned off. She lost interest in sex. She was able to orgasm–I gave her several. She didn’t enjoy them and didn’t want more. This has been my biggest challenge. All sex is for me. I feel selfish. Also, Mrs. Lion has no motivation to get me off other than her altruistic desire to make me happy. I’m grateful for that, but it does make me feel like her favorite charity.

She feels bad because she knows I want her to want sex. She doesn’t want sex, and if it weren’t for me, she would be perfectly happy without a sex drive. She’s trying to revive her interest in sex with a change in the medications she is taking. One of them does frequently kills interest in sex. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be fine with the status quo. Sure, I miss two-person sex. Mrs. Lion knows that. We have other, more important things. We are deeply in love. We are best friends. That counts more than sex.


  1. I get it if you think chastity enhances your sex lives in some way (eg, along BDSM excitement lines), but it doesn’t seem to be doing that for you anymore. An impartial observer may even say the opposite is going on? Why not give unfettered masturbation a go for a while? Train yourself back into being more of a sexual being through self-pleasure. Don’t sex therapists prescribe something like that to get back in touch with your sexuality? With my husband we encourage it in one another and make a bit of a game out of it by making it an on-the-spot spanking offence to be caught “red-handed” in the act.

    1. Author

      Mrs. Lion mentioned letting me masturbate in front of her. She’s spent the last seven years enforcing a “hands off” policy, at least not to the edge and beyond. I have two concerns: I may not be able to do it anymore. I also worry it would return us to the bad old days when that’s almost all I got.

  2. Once again I read your post and nod in agreement, yep me too.
    My wife has little libido now, but she pleases me as she knows I like it.
    I also quit masturbating years ago, to focus my attentions on her.
    She does not require my hands off approach, but I really don’t find it interesting anymore.

    When she does provide me with a hot session it is totally worth waiting for.
    Giving up sexual control to her and being in her hand makes me very happy.
    Julie and her husband are relatively young, but Lion and I are grudgingly finding that “everything has its time”.

    1. Author

      Maybe that time can be reduced. 🙂

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