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In: Punishment
Lion’s shock collar. It always makes him jump.

Apparently, Mrs. Lion has been giving thought to how she can communicate with me when I’ve done something to displease her. She’s expressed concern that verbal cues might cause undue attention in public. I thought she had some good ideas on that score. Another idea was to have me wear my shock collar when we are out and about. She could then zap me when she wished to let me know I was getting in trouble.

These are excellent ideas. I’m not too fond of either of them, but I have to admit they would certainly get my attention. What’s not clear is whether the zap or reprimand constitutes my entire punishment. Is Mrs. Lion saying that the instant feedback warns me that the paddle will be coming when convenient for her? Knowing her, it probably won’t. However, regretted as I will, I think a spanking should be part of every reprimand.

A more interesting question is what will provoke these zaps and reprimands? Obviously, forgetting to set up the coffee pot will require that. What will? Is this the solution to the problem of how to begin expressing displeasure at things I say? I’m all in favor of any technique that will help her more actively correct me. It’s uncomfortable for me when I think I’m doing something she doesn’t like, and she doesn’t say anything or do anything.

I may respond immediately to a reprimand or zap, but I can tell you that I’m doubtful to learn any significant lesson that way. I wish it weren’t that way, but I tend to forget the zap or verbal rebuke almost as soon as I get them. I’m far more likely to learn when my instructor is a paddle being applied to my bottom. Mrs. Lion knows this. In a way, this is good news. We both agree that, at least for the time being, I need more spankings, and Mrs. Lion needs more practice delivering them.

Even though we agree on this, implementing any new practice is difficult for us. Maybe we have to go back to the sort of technique we used we first began domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion made sure I had several easy-to-break rules that would get me in trouble more than once a week. I know she’s been thinking about this subject but hasn’t been able to articulate anything yet. I think she might want to consider ordinary conversational niceties. Perhaps requiring me to ask permission before speaking (Yuck!) Or some other practice that would help us get better at our disciplinary roles.

Mrs. Lion has been having problems with her stomach and shoulders. This pain necessarily distracts her from more entertaining activities. I hope she will soon be able to get back on the horse and resume her disciplinary role.

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In: Punishment, Spanking

The other day I was working in my home office. I’m on a quest to get an agent. It’s a frustrating process that is unlikely to work out. Unsolicited submissions like mine are almost always ignored. Do you know a literary agent that might help me? Anyway, the doorbell rang, and Mrs. Lion answered it. She was home early from work. It was one of her friends who was stopping by on the way out of town. They chatted. I felt odd. I was, as usual, stark naked. Her friend knows me, and I expected her to say hello. I wondered if she would poke her head into my office. She didn’t say hello or poke. I was glad because it would have been embarrassing. I was also a little upset she didn’t say hello. I thought she liked me. [Mrs. Lion — I bet she thought it was a little odd you didn’t say hello to her.]

Saturday night was definitely not frustrating. Mrs. Lion gave me a huge oral orgasm after a nine-day wait. I loved it! In her post yesterday, she commented that I asked her to use her hand a different way when teasing me. I may have offended her a little. I didn’t mean to do that. It just didn’t feel very good, and I had a suggestion that improved things a lot. I hope that feedback wasn’t inappropriate. [Mrs. Lion — Not offended. I was trying to be funny in my post.]

We’ve been discussing adding dialogue to my spankings. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure she can do that. I understand. She had a very steep learning curve to give me disciplinary spankings. Adding scolding is another challenge that may be more than she wants to accept at this point. We received a very instructive comment on the subject from Julie of strictjuliespanks (one of my favorite blogs). Here’s what she said:

“Scolding during spanking and getting a response I find to be very useful as a way of gauging how much to spank that day. When his responses go from a bit surly to heartfelt, contrite, and pleading, it acts as a sort of “yellow” signal that he’s about done. Mind you, as lion says, that’s when you can announce the warmup is over and punishment will now start.

Scolding requires a bit of practice but is really pretty easy in the end. Just don’t be at all concerned with being repetitive. You can ask over and over again “will you ever do that again?”. Add in a few “I think it’s ridiculous that a man your age needs to be punished like a little boy” and you’re all set. Better yet, lion is a writer, and is obsessed, so ask him to print out a long list of scolding phrases that turn his crank. Each time you can pull out 2 or 3 new ones. Once you have a repertoire of a dozen or so, it’s more than enough as you can chain them together in so many different ways.”

It’s excellent advice. I can see how adding this to my punishment can be very challenging. Speaking of challenges, Mrs. Lion agreed that she would find ways to express her displeasure if I am a know-it-all or interrupt her. She can probably give me “the look” when I do it and follow up later. We discussed pre-spanking activities. Often, Mrs. Lion’s shoulder will be hurting, and she won’t feel up to beating me. We talked about her soaping my mouth or doing some other unpleasant, low-energy thing close to the offense and then spanking me when convenient for her. We both agree that spanking is the best way to punish me. The other activities serve as placeholders.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Punishment

I think we are moving into a new phase of our female-led activities. For one thing, I’m accepting that reality is very different from my fantasies. Mrs. Lion is never going to be the strict mommy/mistress I initially visualized. She’s my wife and likes me to be her strong, independent husband. That makes sense. It was who she married. Where does that leave our female-led relationship?

The answer is straightforward. We have clearly defined areas of authority that Mrs. Lion strictly enforces. There are just two now: She controls when I get sex of any kind. The other is that I must obey specific rules she has given me. The sexual area has always been a bit fuzzy. Mrs. Lion is very responsive to me when I tell her I am horny. She generally will either tease and edge me or make me ejaculate when I tell her. This gives me considerable control in an area I supposedly surrendered.

I’ve come to realize that if I’m going to truly surrender, I have to stop sending sexual messages. If Mrs. Lion wants to know if I am interested in sex, all she has to do is play with my/her weenie, and it will let her know. There is a risk if I don’t suggest I want sex. She could ignore me entirely. She did that for several years before we started male chastity. Locking me in a chastity device served to remind her that I was completely dependent on her for any sexual activity. With it off, there is no reminder.

There are days when she isn’t feeling very good. Her shoulders can be sore or she has a headache–a real headache. She’s justifiably uninterested in providing sex for me. I can’t argue with that. She needs to take care of herself. The problem is that if I am silent, I think she believes I am uninterested. She can “forget” how much I want sex if I don’t talk about it. In the past, I broke my silence and asked for sex. I didn’t have to do this when I was locked up. The device served as a visual reminder and did a good job of reminding her that she agreed to play at least every other day. [Mrs. Lion — It may have been a visual reminder, but I never actually looked at it and said, “Oh, that’s right. I need to unlock Lion.” I agree that there are times when I can’t remember if we played yesterday or maybe it was the day before, but I don’t think that would change with the cage on.]

Maybe we need to go back to full-time wear. I’m certainly happy to do it. I’m also happy to remain wild. I don’t cheat. It may be that Mrs. Lion will get the benefit of me being locked up. It’s something for her to consider.

The second area of our female-led relationship is obedience. Mrs. Lion has the right and obligation to punish me for anything I do that she feels needs correction. In practice, this comes down to enforcing two rules: no eating before she starts or gives me permission and setting up the coffee pot each day. In practice, the only time I’ve been punished is when I forget the coffee pot.

We both agree that I need more opportunities to earn punishment. We need this, or inertia will set in, and the disciplinary relationship goes by the board. If only I lost connection with my role, Mrs. Lion could correct it with her paddle. We both lose it, and FLR fades until one of us remembers. I think that we never really formed the right habits. She wrote about this yesterday. I think we agree.

By:
In: Punishment

I spent all day Friday trying to figure out how to get a literary agent. It’s probably impossible, but I really need one. By the time Mrs. Lion got home, I was bleary-eyed from sending emails to agents. I have no hope of success. Perhaps trying to be a novelist is unrealistic. Too bad. I like to write. I’m learning that being a commercially unpublished author is a lot like being an actor: rejection is constant. I need to find something less depressing to do.

Mrs. Lion has pushed back at scolding along with spanking me. I get it. If she continues paddling the way she did a few days ago, she doesn’t need to say a word. The paddle does all the talking for her. I have to be careful not to try to push Mrs. Lion past where she has to be. She needed to learn to disregard my yelps and continue spanking until her point is made. Adding the scold is more me trying to change things when they don’t need fixing. She is thinking about other rules, new or old, to begin enforcing. She agrees that the only one she has been enforcing is that I consistently set up the coffee pot. She agrees this is a low bar. I’m sure she will find new opportunities to catch me.

It’s time for me to shut up and let Mrs. Lion steer the ship alone. I know she is having trouble thinking of rules she wants to enforce. I’m not helping by discussing it with her. I have to trust that she will do it on her own.