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In: Spanking
My butt after Monday’s “just because” spanking. It’s sore, but not nearly as bad as it feels after a disciplinary spanking.

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, I got another “just because” spanking. She is still working out the best way to spank me with our new spanking bench. She set the timer to ten minutes but disregarded it when it went off. I guess she wasn’t finished. That’s fine. It’s the DWC method.

These “just because” spankings aren’t as painful as my punishment spankings. We agreed that there shouldn’t be any real difference, but so far, the damage is less when it isn’t a punishment. Monday night, I was very happy that Mrs. Lion didn’t hit as hard as usual. The position I’m in on the bench stretches my bottom. This makes the paddling hurt much more. I know. That’s a good thing. Spankings are supposed to hurt as much as possible.

In the past, we tried having me on my knees, with my head on the bed. That puts my rear at about the same angle as it is on the spanking bench. I couldn’t hold that position. Now, I can’t move. I’m strapped down and can’t do anything to reduce the pain. All I can do is yelp and scream. Don’t you feel sorry for me? Of course not! It’s what we both want.

Right now, it hurts when I sit. It isn’t as bad as my last punishment, but it does hurt. Mrs. Lion likes to experiment, so I expect that another “just because” spanking is coming up as soon as I heal from this one. Based on my experience and my reading, this isn’t a bad thing. Other than helping Mrs. Lion increase my discomfort, it also focuses our attention on our disciplinary relationship.

It isn’t just about punishing me for disobedience. I’m starting to think that isn’t the most important aspect of our domestic discipline. I can’t put my finger on it, but things are lighter around here for a few days after a spanking. Mrs. Lion is more playful. She even pays more sexual attention to me. She teases me about being spanked and will play-threaten me with a paddling.

I’m more playful too. And, I have to admit, I feel more sexual. That’s no big surprise. I get turned on by being spanked. But, that doesn’t explain Mrs. Lion’s changes. I think she gets turned on too–not in a sexual way, but an emotional one. She doesn’t exactly enjoy spanking me but likes her ability to blister my bottom. We are similar this way. Neither of us exactly likes the actual spanking, but we both get value out of it after it’s done.

When I think back to the “experiments” when Mrs. Lion spanked me almost daily, we were both more physical and affectionate. There’s no question that my reaction to spanking is different than hers. She isn’t turned on by it. But it affects her.

Will a drastic increase in spankings really benefit us both? Will I stop bleeding if Mrs. Lion toughens my hide? Will she find more reasons to catch me? Maybe if she knows she will spank me anyway, she will finally enforce interrupting her and other annoying things I may do.

One of the problems with disciplinary spanking is that it is reserved for punishment. I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion stop punishing me. I think that recreational butt-blistering is something that might help us both. Also, maybe we should go back to the Box O’Fun and Zapardy and Spankardy too. I think inertia has taken hold in the lions den, and we need to work to drive it away consistently. If Mrs. Lion agrees, I will have to get used to painful sitting.

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In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity, Spanking

The news this morning reported that the divorce rate in the US is at a 30-year low. The average marriage lasts almost 20 years. That’s very good news. Mrs. Lion and I are married for almost 16 years. We are both happy campers. Popular opinion would suggest that we shouldn’t be happy or still together. The main causes of divorce are sex and money. We have a Grand Canyon-sized gap in the sex area.

About a decade ago, give or take several years, Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex. I didn’t. For a while, we went down the expected path of an upset, horny husband and a quiet, distanced wife. She gave me a handjob about once a month. Sex was dead. If we continued this way, it might have driven us apart. Mrs. Lion was feeling neglected, and I wanted real sex.

If it weren’t for the fact that we are completely in love, I would have probably found sex outside of our marriage, and inevitable separation and divorce would have followed. I can’t imagine not being married to Mrs. Lion. I can’t hurt her.

I’m not going to claim that male chastity and domestic discipline saved our marriage. It didn’t. What changed was the size of the gap between us. It closed up completely. Orgasm control and domestic discipline provide tools that allow us to bridge the sexual interest gap.

It turns out that the issue wasn’t the loss of love or goodwill. It was working out ways to replace the normal sexual pull of two horny partners with something else that works. Male chastity and domestic discipline are games couples can play. Please don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean they are casual leisure-time pursuits. They aren’t. But, they are also not lifestyle changes designed to cure and manage serious problems. Ask couples who try to control a partner’s drinking. All the spankings in the world aren’t going to cure alcoholism. By the same token, those spankings will train a man to end an annoying habit.

Here’s how these two games work for us. Because Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself, she has no biological drive to push her into sex with me. Male chastity is an agreement that I get no sex that she doesn’t provide. She agrees to tease me at least every other day and, when she decides I am ready, makes me ejaculate. Male chastity devices are available to assure that I obey this agreement. She locked me in one full time for over three years. I only got out when she wanted to tease me.

Over time, I was conditioned to happily allow her to tease me to the edge of orgasm and stop. I have learned never to gratify myself. It’s an exciting game for me and a manageable way for Mrs. Lion to keep me sexually happy. I guess it is similar to owning a cow. If you take on that ownership, you need to milk her regularly. It’s the same thing with me. Mrs. Lion knows I need a certain amount of attention and eventual release. Since we agreed to how this would be provided, there are no hard feelings and passive-aggressiveness about sex. We have a happy solution to a serious problem.

Domestic discipline is a little different. On the surface, it looks like a way for a woman to control her husband. Bad behavior is punished painfully with spankings. The idea is that these spankings if delivered consistently for offenses, will help cure those bad habits.

The reality isn’t like that. First of all, I like the idea of being spanked. It’s sexually arousing. Because of that, I want Mrs. Lion to discipline me. That’s the male side of the game. The female side is different. Mrs. Lion knows I like the idea of being spanked. It’s this interest in it that makes me meekly accept punishment. In that respect, DD is a game, and she spanks me because I want it.

But that’s not all. If Mrs. Lion’s spankings are sufficiently strict, I will hate being paddled. This fear of pain works the same with an adult as it does with a child. I unconsciously associate the pain of a spanking with the behavior that earned it. This only works up to a point. Serious character flaws like excessive drinking or smoking are unlikely to be spanked away. Interrupting or forgetting a chore can be cured with a sufficiently severe butt beating.

That doesn’t mean the behavior is eliminated. It is corrected until I “forget” how much I hate the result of breaking a rule. In practice, once the behavior is under control, reminder spankings are generally needed a month or so after the last “reminder.” In the beginning, before the behavior is controlled, every offense has to be punished. That’s how it’s played.

You might think this is all work by the female for her kinky male’s entertainment. On one level, it is. However, game or no game, domestic discipline works. The offenses do taper off. Yes, I still forget to set up the coffee pot. Every time I do, Mrs. Lion blisters my bottom as a reminder. It works.

There is another, more subtle benefit for the wife. The agreement that allows her to set the rules and enforce them guarantees that her voice will be heard. He (me) may rule the den, but she can make sure I hear any objections she might have. She can punish me any time she wants. We agree that she has that right. I don’t have anything to say about it.

On one level, that’s a very sexy idea. It’s hot thinking that she can spank me for any reason at all. The actual spanking, along with the reminder of why I am being punished, is no fun at all. I’m too stupid to remember that. A ten-minute DWC spanking refreshes my memory.

Rather than wait until I offend again, Mrs. Lion provides a reminder regularly. It’s my “just because” spankings. I get these to keep the reason I need to follow her leadership front of mind. The theory is that if these are provided often enough, I will offend less because I have a fresh memory of what happens if I break a rule.

We haven’t proven that this works as intended. We have learned that “just because” spankings recharges Mrs. Lion’s observational batteries. She doesn’t particularly like spanking me. She really enjoys observing me and catching break rules. From her point of view, spanking me doesn’t improve the game for her. Simply catching me offend is her fun. She knows that spanking is my side of the equation. Simply catching me and growling has little effect on me. Catching me and punishing me raises the stakes of the game for me. That makes me work harder to avoid being caught. She has to work harder to catch me.

If I manage to avoid being caught for too long, the game loses appeal for her. I forget why I need to avoid punishment. A “just because” spanking reminds us both. Mrs. Lion hasn’t figured out how often we need these. I think she decided that at least once every two-to-three weeks, I need paddling. She isn’t sure how often she needs to spank me to recharge her interest in the game.

Both games have real consequences for me. Mrs. Lion knows this. She’s learned that she can spank me as hard and long as she wants without causing real injury. She also knows that I will docilely wait for her to make me ejaculate. She may not revel in power over me, but she gets real value from our play.

By:
In: Spanking
one cheek sized paddle
Broad-faced, stingy paddle. Click image to view larger.

I was under the weather on Saturday. I barely finished my post before I had to go to sleep. Whatever was causing my malaise seems to have left town. I feel much more like my old self now. I let Mrs. Lion know so that she can move forward with her plans to make me yelp.

She pointed out that I reacted more to a spanking on the bench. It hurt more, a lot more. The bench simulates the classic over-the-knee position. My hips are on the bench, and my legs hang free. That stretches my glutes. I’ve learned that this position is the most painful. It hurts a lot less if my legs aren’t bent as far.

the spanking spoon against lion's ass
Spanking spoon. This spoon-shaped paddle packs a mean wallop.
(Click image to view larger)

Mrs. Lion also benefits. She can move around me and easily adjust her position for maximum effect. It’s not as intimate as OTK. The loss of intimacy is offset by the greater leverage that translates to a lot more pain. Given this increase in sensation, Mrs. Lion has more options. If she begins my spanking with one of our larger paddles, she will generate a lot more sting and general redness. If she then switches to the spanking spoon, she can easily produce her trademark’s long-lasting pain.

There’s no reason why she can’t just do ten minutes with the spoon. It will be a lot worse for me, but isn’t that the idea of spanking me? This is all up to her.

I’m still tired, but it isn’t as bad as it was on Saturday. So please forgive the shorter-than-usual post. I’m sure things will be back to normal tomorrow.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

I must have an overactive imagination. If I were a reader of my blog, I would be curious about the people who spend all that time writing about their sex lives. After all, the Lions have written over 2 million words in more than 5,000 posts. That’s daily newspaper-level journalism. Since nobody has asked, I decided to do the ultimately egotistical thing and interview myself.

Lion, how much time do put into this blog?

Good question! (I ask myself the best questions) I spend about an hour a day writing my post and another two or three hours a week doing other chores around the website.

That seems like a lot of time. Don’t you have a life?

That’s rude! No wonder nobody asks me that. We don’t have a very active social life. Mrs. Lion and I keep to ourselves. There are other, more productive ways I could spend the time and energy I put in here. But I don’t. In the beginning, eight years ago, I had fantasies of developing some sort of online community. That dream faded quickly. Now, I write because I like writing. I also use the blog as a way to communicate with Mrs.  Lion.

Wait a minute. She sleeps next to you. Isn’t it easier to just talk with her?

I suppose. The posts here give us a way to propose things thoughtfully and tell each other what we feel about topics that might otherwise be overlooked. We also send emails to one another during the day. They tend to be the “We need more mild, dear” sort of things: bigger ideas, particularly risky, sexy stuff, work best in the blog.

Like what?

I have (stupidly?) encouraged Mrs. Lion to learn to deliver truly serious adult spankings. I give her feedback about how she is doing. I also propose new ideas for her to consider. One of the most valuable benefits of this communication is that it is clear and in writing. If I’m getting too weird or misreporting how we are doing, Mrs. Lion and our readers will sometimes call me out. It’s easy to go back and read what we wrote before. For whatever reason, we use our posts to keep us on track.

Why write every day? You can’t have that much to say.

So far, I am rarely at a loss for topics. Knowing that I committed to writing a daily post forces me to think about what’s happening in our lives. I have to go out into the Interweb and see what others are writing about. Writing daily posts demands that I actively think about what we are doing and what we might want to change or improve. Writing daily posts is an excellent way to avoid slipping into sexual entropy.

The blog has also helped me improve my writing skills. I think my prose has improved over the years. Writing the blog also encouraged me to write fiction.

Speaking of that, how is your book doing?

Did you have to ask that? (Of course, I did. I’m talking to myself.) Sales are horrible. It isn’t so much that Fan Mail is crap. I think it is a good read for its genre. I have no tools to promote it.  I’ve been working on a second book. I’m trying to use what I learned in writing the first one to improve my style. Given the lousy sales of Fan Mail, I am hoping to find a way to get the new book published by a real publisher. To do that, I need to find an agent. I had no luck with the first book. By the way, you can buy the Kindle edition of Fan Mail for only 99 cents. The paperback and hardcover versions are more expensive, but the price is the cheapest I can set. Spend a buck and help my ego! Click here to order or sample.

Let’s talk about sex. You seem to enjoy that.

It’s a lot less depressing than book sales. This blog has recorded every sexual activity we have had since 2014. I love sex, and I enjoy sharing.

Why do you publish pictures of your genitals and ass? You know, they aren’t unique.

They aren’t? Are you trying to depress me? There is a kind of naughty excitement exposing my nether regions to the public. No, I wouldn’t be flashing in subway cars if I didn’t have the blog. Some of the images are legitimate examples of the subject of the post. For example, it doesn’t make sense to show a chastity device that isn’t locked onto a penis. Since my penis doesn’t require a model release, it is a perfect subject for those shots.

In our early years, there were more gratuitous shots that were more for my titillation than for reader education. More recently, I reserve exposure to illustrating posts. For example, images of the results of my spankings provide an idea of how Mrs. Lion is doing in the punishment department. Some of our loyal readers enjoy seeing this.

There are very few sex bloggers who don’t end up flashing their readers. What can I say?

How are things going outside of the stuff  you write about here?

It’s a little more difficult. I was furloughed in April 2020 due to COVID. I haven’t been called back. I don’t think I will be. Fortunately, unemployment insurance has helped. Mrs. Lion is working so that we manage. I’m concerned about what will happen in September when unemployment runs out. It won’t affect the blog right away, but we may disappear if things get very tight. There are costs involved with our website.

Naturally, these worries affect all areas of our lives. I’m optimistic that we will figure out how to keep going.

Are you getting tired of interviewing yourself?

Oh no. I could go on for hours, but I won’t.

Last question. What is the one thing you believe your readers would ask if they gave a shit?

I think it would be, Do you really do all that stuff you write about?

And your answer…

Yup. We really do!