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In: Spanking

The plan was for a “just because” spanking on Monday. The lion restraining strap was supposed to be delivered in time. It wasn’t. The post office tracking site changed from “Delivering Today” to “Delayed in Transit.” So far, it’s been ten days since it was mailed, first-class, from Texas. Our once-efficient postal service is in the crapper. I’ve requested a refund, and Mrs. Lion is planning to take me shopping at the local Grange for a horse strap the right size for me. She assures me that my spanking isn’t going to be delayed much longer.

Mrs. Lion is very perceptive. She is a lioness of few words. She doesn’t need many to make some profound points. On Monday, she made a brief comment that I needed to be spanked because I was thinking too fondly about getting my bottom paddled. There it is, the most contradictory aspect of domestic discipline.

Like male chastity, domestic discipline is almost always initiated by the husband who wants to be punished for his offenses. If you spend time reading what these men say, it’s clear that there is a sexual element to the idea of being taken in hand. It’s certainly true of me. The idea of being spanked turns me on. Does that mean domestic discipline is just kinky sex play?

It can be. Some couples use it that way. For most, it is more serious but with sexual overtones. I think we are a good example of this. I’ve always liked the idea of being spanked. For many years, when I bottomed, spanking was part of the play. Some of those spankings were just as severe as the punishments I receive. I would be erect when the spanking began. I would lose my hardon within a minute or so once it started. When it was over, my cock needed some serious coaxing to stand up again.

The next day, if it hurt to sit, I would have fond memories of my beating. I wouldn’t get physically turned on, but the twinges reminded me of the play. You might think that my domestic discipline spankings would be experienced the same way. In the beginning, they were. I would be hard when Mrs. Lion started to spank me. The erection would disappear shortly after she began. Same as a play spanking, right? Well, no.

A punishment spanking starts very much like the play variety. Mrs. Lion takes it easy and gives me a chance to get used to the stinging swats. It’s a little like novocaine before a root canal. It dulls the pain just enough to keep me from trying to bolt. Then, she hits harder. The speed and force increase. She keeps me on the edge of my ability to stand the pain. Her goal is to make it hurt and keep hurting. The timer guarantees that she won’t stop for at least ten minutes. That’s a very long time when someone is beating your bottom.

Her goal is to leave me with a very sore, bruised bottom. It will hurt to sit and even to lie down on my back for days. I will understand that this is what happens if I break a rule or disobey. Mrs. Lion makes it clear that if I hurt, it is my fault. I do hurt a lot. My bottom is swollen with blisters and bruises. She says I brought it on myself.

Here’s where it gets weird. For a while after the spanking, I lose any desire to be spanked. The idea does not turn me on, and I do my best to avoid another. For one thing, if I offend soon after a spanking, Mrs. Lion will almost certainly increase the time to more than fifteen minutes. She is perfectly happy to spank my already-sore bottom. I absolutely don’t want that. This is how she wants me to feel. If I fear punishment, I am going to do my best to avoid it.

As time passes, I begin to forget how unhappy the spanking made me. I will start getting turned on thinking about Mrs. Lion spanking me. I won’t intentionally disobey, but I won’t fear the consequences of making a mistake. I’m beginning to remember being punished fondly. This is unacceptable.

The cure is simple. Mrs. Lion spanks me, “just because.” It’s a disciplinary vaccination to restore my fear of her paddle. It turns down the sexual excitement of punishment and restores my respect for the pain I will feel. In my case, if I haven’t earned a spanking for misbehaving, I need a booster spanking every two to three weeks.

Mrs. Lion needs a different booster shot too. Each time she punishes me, she is reminded of her role. Without fail, after I’m spanked, she becomes hyper-aware of my behavior. The beating recharges her hunting instinct. She is on high alert. I’m not sure how frequently she needs to beat me to stay at the optimum threat level. My “just because” spankings are scheduled around my loss of fear of the paddle. There’s a possibility that Mrs. Lion needs more frequent boosters.  If she does, I hope she gets them, or more correctly, gives them to me.

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In: Punishment, Spanking

Mondays are punishment days. On this punishment day, I will be spanked. Mrs. Lion sent an email asking when the restraining strap for our new bench would arrive. I checked the post office website. It said that we would get it today. I relayed that information to Mrs. Lion. She replied that I would have a sore butt tonight.

The last time she spanked me was 19 days ago. That is too long, I think. We both agree that regular “just because” spankings are needed to help my focus. Mrs. Lion has been waiting for the new spanking bench and restraint strap to arrive before this one.

I wonder if Mrs. Lion finds it too difficult to spank me. I’m not talking about the actual beating. She seems to have no problem with that. I’m thinking about the setup. She has to select her implements of choice, drag out the spanking bench and strap me in. Before the bench, she got the yoga cushion and put it on the bed. My point is that this is a sort of ritual that complicates what should be very organic: I disobey or break a rule and I get spanked.

The prep steps have to get in the way. I can see that they would discourage her from punishing me. She needs to feel comfortable reacting to bad behavior by spanking me. As I recall, when she used the small kitchen paddle, if I did something wrong, she would have me bend over the counter while she used the paddle to remind me to behave. Since I am already naked, there is no effort beyond getting the paddle (It hung on a hook in the kitchen) and spanking me with it. Mrs. Lion didn’t appear to find it difficult to discipline me that way.

I was affected by these spankings too. It was made clear that an offense would be punished. There is no escape. Nowadays, punishment is more of a ritual. Mrs. Lion usually waits until after dinner. Then she gets the yoga cushion and puts it on the bed. I get into position, and she whomps me. There is no conversation. This works. I get the message loud and clear. I suspect that if it were less of a hassle, Mrs. Lion would get a paddle and let me know how she feels more often.

For example, when I interrupt her, she usually makes an angry face. I get a little twinge, but I am not deterred. I will usually tell her that I’m not interrupting and I need context. That may be true, but I upset her. If she went back to the kitchen paddle technique, the angry face would be followed by an impromptu spanking. My position might not be ideal, but a message would be sent. The message would be two-way. I would be reminded to behave, and she would get in the habit of not just growling, instead make me understand her displeasure in a way I understand.

lion's butt paddled with paddle tramp
Mrs. Lion’s kitchen paddle. It’s compact but powerful. Cut from hard oak, Mrs. lion used it to send her message with me bent over the kitchen counter.

These impromptu spankings will probably not be full 10-minute DWC productions. They don’t have to be. They could be a sort of reminder of more to come later. My thought is that I get the painful reminder as soon after the offense as possible. Mrs. Lion can finish the punishment at a later time. I think the biggest drawback of our DWC punishments is the very reason they work so well. To be effective, they have to be a full ten minutes long. That’s a big interruption in the middle of a conversation or household activity.

I’m not suggesting we abandon the DWC spankings. I think that the less complete on-the-spot swats can be very helpful for us both. Perhaps when Mrs. Lion wants to growl, she does it with me bent over something and her paddle swatting my bottom. I imagine that over time this will translate to a follow-up DWC punishment. The key is to use the paddle to underline that I did something I shouldn’t and that there is a need to punish the offense. The only way we will learn is to do it.

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In: Punishment, Sex, Spanking

Julie, from strictjuliespanks wrote about daddy issues. She also growled about my comment regarding her taste in podcasts. We do disagree about some things. I know she gets very turned on thinking about a strict daddy figure. It’s a fun role to be that daddy. It’s about obedience, spanking, and sex. What could be bad?

There is a darker subtext. No, it isn’t about a grown woman acting out sexual daddy fantasies. I think that’s healthy and good clean fun. It’s about the other side of the coin: mommy play. I’m not referring to the practice of being an adult baby or a full-time little boy. Daddy play is just that; discreet scenes. It isn’t a lifestyle. People who enjoy power exchange generally accept this sort of play. That isn’t true of little boy play.

You could argue that when a woman spanks a man, it is a form of mommy play. Spanking, at least in our part of the world, is considered a children’s punishment. So, when Mrs. Lion spanks me, it is maternal by definition. I don’t think she sees it that way. She says that she sees it as a service. She is providing something I want. She relates to enforcing rules as a sort of game. There’s nothing wrong with that. The net result is that I get spanked if I break a rule. I’m a naughty boy. I’m not consciously living out a mommy fantasy. Mrs. Lion doesn’t see her role as my parent.

I digress. My point is that very few women think of themselves as being mommy when they spank their husbands. As Julie has written in her story, “Visiting Julie At Her Cottage,”

True to her ‘Strict Julie’ moniker, Julie unrelentingly paddled Lion’s low ass and upper thighs into a horrible hamburgered mess of scarlet red, purple, black, and white. Lion screamed on every stroke. David could see the excitement in Julie’s face, her glassy stare as she got into her zone, as she did the one thing she loved most of all: bringing unrelenting, near unbearable pain to a willing male ass.

‘When I get into this state, I can just keep going forever,’  Julie said, ‘which is why I give myself a count. Ha ha!’

While this is fiction designed to turn me on, she expresses something I’ve heard before from many women who spank men. They are sexually aroused by doing it. Why isn’t important. The fact is that they enjoy doing it and get aroused in the process. My first BDSM partner was like this. She told me that when she made me squirm, it was particularly exciting. The first thing she wanted as soon as she finished spanking me was sexual release.

Spanking is highly sexual to people of both sexes. A woman turned on by spanking her partner doesn’t need a role to blister his butt. She likes doing it. It’s irrelevant to her what fantasies he has about what she is doing to him. If he wants to imagine that she’s his mommy, she doesn’t care. If she is asked to take on that role, she might do it for the duration of the spanking but will probably not find it arousing other times.

On the other hand, playing daddy to a grown woman is very hot for many men. I’m sure there are deep psychological reasons for this. For me, at least, it’s a neat package that includes spanking and sex. I couldn’t do it for more than a scene, though. I wouldn’t want to live with a woman who wanted to be a little girl full time.

The difference between mommy and daddy play is that when a man wants his partner to be his mommy, he gives up the male role as an active partner or leader. Like it or not, we are all conditioned to believe that males should be strong, loving leaders. Women have centuries of conditioning that has trained them to like and accept this. There is a lot of conditioning to overcome when the roles are reversed.

Mrs. Lion spanks me, and she enforces her will with a paddle. The spankings are real. They aren’t sexual play. I don’t think of my role as being one of a child. I don’t want my wife to be my mommy. For the record, my mother had very little to do with me. She often said, “Childless couples are the happiest.” The last thing I want is for Mrs. Lion to be like her.

I’ve written about how real lions behave. We don’t see each other as big cats. But we have learned from their behavior. Unlike humans, lions have a more balanced kind of male/female relationship. The lionesses hold the ultimate authority in lion society. They choose to admit a lion into their pride. They allow him a lot of power. In fact, human observers believed until very recently that lions were in charge. King of beasts. Not so much.

Thanks to inexpensive, small cameras, we’ve learned that the lioness is the real boss. She may appear in the background, with the male appearing to lead the way, but closer observation reveals that isn’t true. If a lion does something a lioness dislikes, she will growl and snarl at him. If that doesn’t work, she will give him a painful bite on the rump. He never retaliates. He appears to apologize and beg forgiveness.

It’s almost like a democracy. Leaders maintain their authority with the permission of the governed. We live that way. On one level, our domestic discipline is something I want and need. Mrs. Lion accommodates it. On a deeper level, it is a tool that she can use to express her displeasure. I’m conditioned by all of the spankings I get for minor offenses to accept punishment from my wife unquestioningly. She doesn’t need a reason to spank me. Well, I don’t need to accept or even know the reason. When she wants to punish me, I present myself for discipline—no questions or arguments. I may be stronger, but I can’t resist any more than that lion who has a bleeding bite on his rump.

Sex isn’t involved. Neither of us wants it after I am punished. A hug might be nice, but I rarely get that. My lioness did what had to be done. Period. She works hard to make my spanking as unpleasant as possible. That’s what I said I want. I do. It isn’t roleplay. It’s something different. Is it maternal? I don’t think so, but if you believe that only a mommy or daddy spanks, then I suppose it is. Mrs. Lion and I don’t think so.

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In: Spanking, Sex
This spreadsheet records every orgasms I’ve had since January 2016.

Before starting this blog, I had no real interest in tracking my activities. For the first two years, Mrs. Lion and I often debated how long it had been since my last orgasm. Since we write a male chastity blog, it made sense to keep a record so that there would be an easy way to answer them if questions come up. In January 2016, I created a spreadsheet that let me record each time Mrs. Lion got me off. I’ve faithfully maintained it ever since.

Over the years, I’ve published summaries of this data. Many men who are under orgasm control find these statistics fascinating. I don’t share that interest so far as other men are concerned. I’m obviously interested in my own data. There have been trends in my wait times. Most of them are due to issues in my life that made sex difficult. After the first year or two, Mrs. Lion settled into a seven-to-fourteen-day wait for me. Apparently, she considers that adequate satisfaction for her mate.

Obviously, I don’t get a vote regarding this pattern. I’m not supposed to. I’m not complaining. After all these years, I’m used to this control. It’s the way things are in our marriage. I can get aroused all I want, but no ejaculation. We don’t consider this exotic or kinky. It’s just the way things are.

This widget in the right column of this website tracks how long its been since my last orgasm and spanking.

We also practice domestic discipline. If I break a rule–we don’t have many–I am punished. Mrs. Lion spanks me. I haven’t maintained a record of when I get spanked or the offense that earned me punishment. However, I have a clock on this website (right column) that tracks the time since my last spanking and why I earned it. Mrs. Lion has no problem remembering why she punished me but often forgets how long ago she spanked me.

This turns out to be important. If too much time goes by between spankings, I forget why I want to avoid one, and Mrs. Lion becomes less observant of my behavior. It’s obvious why I would start to forget how unhappy a spanking makes me. After all, I’m turned on at the thought of being spanked. That’s balanced by the painful reality of Mrs. Lion’s paddles. Her loss of observational interest is interesting.

My theory is that since she considers observing my infractions as a sort of game when we don’t “play,” that is, observe an infraction and spank me. I think she forgets she is playing. Every time she paddles me, it reminds her to be on her toes, looking for new reasons to blister my bottom. It’s these reasons why I get “just because” spankings. To avoid these problems, Mrs. Lion will spank me if more than a couple of weeks go by without blistering my bottom. She decides exactly when to administer a “just because” spanking.

Like orgasm wait times, Mrs. Lion can lose track of the interval since my last spanking.  We have a timer in the right column that tracks how many days since my last beating. According to that timer,  as of Saturday, it’s been 17 days. I imagine she hasn’t checked out our site. I’m probably due now. For the record, I am absolutely NOT looking forward to it—poor me.