By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Tuesday night, while I was jerking Lion off, I was thinking we’ll be switching back to oral sex. This has nothing to do with hand jobs being humiliating for him. I still consider them sex. I just like oral sex because we’re more connected. I like the intimacy. Ironically, after we were done, Lion asked if we were ever going to do oral again. Great minds think alike.

This week has thrown me off. I don’t know if it’s because I have Friday off or if it’s because others at work have time off. I’ve had chores lined up since Sunday and, even though I’ve been plugging away at them, I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. The bed hasn’t been changed. The dog’s toenails are still lethally long. The laundry is still in the dryer. But I have been doing things. Honest.

I didn’t think Lion would be horny last night. We watched the Lucille Ball movie. He loves “I Love Lucy”. I can take it or leave it. We tend to watch reruns so much, I get numb to them – even shows I love. On the other hand, we find shows we haven’t seen in a very long time that are fun to watch again. I guess that’s the good thing about streaming services.

At some point today, I’ll change the bed. I have to do it when he’s not in it and I’m not working. That’s been the challenge this week. By the time I’m done working, he’s had his shower and is snuggled under the covers to get warm. Since I’m pretty distracted today, I’ll probably change the bed after lunch. Lion will be back in his office, feverishly writing.

Once the bed is changed, with a nice clean comforter on top, we won’t have to worry about crumbs, dog hair and the other accumulated crap. Lion can safely and comfortably stretch across the bed for his blow job. I doubt he’ll be too horny so close to his orgasm, but I still like sucking on my weenie. Sometimes he surprises me by getting hard. He may not be able to do anything with that erection yet, but we can still have some fun. I think that’s more incentive to get the bed changed.

By:
In: CBT

Mrs. Lion and I can’t seem to understand one another in terms of humiliation. She prefers “embarrassing” to the “H” word. I admit that I don’t get it. Julie, of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com, wrote a wonderful comment that bears discussion.

I think of it [sic. Jerking a man off]  just that way myself! I don’t even think of a handjob as a sex act from my point of view. It’s amusing, like pulling a puppy’s tail (not that I would advocate pulling puppies’ tails, it’s more a turn of phrase. But if boys had tails, I would pull those!). I am certainly aware of his embarrassment, especially when done in company or when I let another woman do it (lesbians seem to enjoy doing it just as much, which further confirms it’s not much of a sex act to us). I mean, it is objectively funny, him getting so hard, the tip getting all bulgy and purply, the way he jiggles his hips as he gets closer, the little moans, and the spurty is the most fun of all, only slightly more fun than the crying when you stop before it happens and make him put it away.

She captures the way it feels to me. The idea that it’s amusing to the woman and profoundly intimate to the man is the essence of a humiliating experience. If he is aware that she doesn’t find masturbating him sexual, it further widens the emotional gap. I imagine that most women don’t find giving a man a handjob as a sexual act to them. There is no contact other than her hand. Some women make it even more impersonal by wearing a glove.

Mrs. Lion regularly edges me. I know that my hips are moving, and I’m making noises as I get close to coming. When she stops before I can finish and kisses the head of my cock and tells me that’s all, it’s frustrating and humiliating. She’s not only shown that she can get me hard and ready to ejaculate. She’s stopped and has the power not to let me finish. She can do this without any arousal on her part.

The essence of sexual humiliation is encapsulated in that act. I’m vulnerable and at her mercy. She brings me to the point of orgasm and then won’t let me finish. I have to groan and accept the frustration. I’m putting on quite a show. She’s just used her hand. I can see how that is amusing. It doesn’t matter. I can’t wait for Mrs. Lion to pull my tail again.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Here is how the conversation went:

Mrs. Lion: “Why is masturbating embarrassing?”
Lion: “I thought you read my post.”
Mrs. Lion: “I did.”
Lion: “I explained it in my post.”

Ahhh. Well, that clears it right up. Then this morning, he said there’s a great comment from Julie on his post. “She really gets it!” Okie Dokie. I’m glad. I don’t, but I’m happy she does. Of course, the first conversation happened when I started snuggling with him. Part of me hoped he would explain it more to me and part of me hoped it was pillow talk. Neither happened.

I can understand how masturbation could be embarrassing when other people are involved. But then, wouldn’t any sex act be embarrassing when other people are involved. I don’t necessarily mean actually participating. I mean watching. Let’s say it’s a play party. If you’re bound and gagged and people are watching, I’d think that would be pretty embarrassing. If you’re being flogged or spanked and people are watching, I can see it being embarrassing. In a private setting, not so much. Why would masturbation be embarrassing in an intimate setting? I wouldn’t think it would matter if the masturbator were clothed or not. Would it be embarrassing if I was fully clothed while I punished Lion?

Maybe it’s my level of comfort with having people around. For that matter, perhaps it’s my level of comfort with sex. I’m not a prude, but I certainly feel like one when compared to Lion or Julie. I would be embarrassed if someone else masturbated Lion while I was there. I think I’d even be embarrassed if someone else masturbated Lion if I wasn’t there, but I knew it was happening. And I’m not even the one being masturbated. Of course, this also goes for any other act, sexual or BDSM related.

For the record, I do see jerking Lion off as a sex act. I’m touching his penis. I’m getting him aroused. I’m making him come. Sex. Granted, it’s not as intimate as other things, but I think it qualifies as sex.

[Lion — OK, let me try to explain. First of all, I was embarrassed to explain how I was humiliated in a face-to-face conversation. It bothered me at the time. Being jerked off makes me very vulnerable. My most intimate activity is happening. If my partner is also involved, as in intercourse or oral sex, the vulnerability is mutual. Jerking me off, however, doesn’t require any exposure or vulnerability on the part of the person doing it to me. I don’t expect that the person who is masturbating me is getting any sexual reaction. She could be fully dressed, even a lesbian. Jerking a man off amuses some women. They find it funny to watch a man go through arousal and orgasm while they just rub his penis. It isn’t sex to them. It is to him. Unequal vulnerability can be humiliating. At least I see it that way.]

By:
In: Sex, Hand Jobs

Mrs. Lion wrote about teasing me on Monday night (“An Edged Lion is a Happy Lion“). She’s worked out her handjob technique and can now masturbate me to orgasm if she wants. Or, as is usually the case, bring me to the edge and let me teeter. For the last year, almost all of my sex has been oral. Yes, I love it.

An orgasm is an orgasm, you might think. Most guys will agree an oral orgasm feels better. It does for me. I’m not sure if it’s the actual orgasm or something else that makes me like it better. From a strictly physical point of view, an oral orgasm is produced with slower motion. Most people can’t bob up and down on a cock as fast as they can jerk it off. A second factor is that the mouth gently encircles the penis. There is contact all around.

When Mrs. Lion is between my legs, her tongue contacts my most sensitive area on the underside of my penis. Her head motion is fairly constant. Even if she lets me come, the relatively slow head motion is almost like being edged. It is very exciting. Even vaginal sex doesn’t offer that advantage. Movement tends to get faster the closer I get to orgasm.

I think there is another factor that works in favor of a handjob. Oral or vaginal sex requires intimate contact with my partner. My penis is inside her mouth or vagina. When I ejaculate, it is inside her. Even if you exclude her orgasm, she is still very involved. A handjob is much less personal. Very little contact is involved on the woman’s part. All she has to do is wrap her hand around my penis and move it up and down. When I ejaculate, she can wipe it off if some get on her hand.

On the other hand, I am intensely involved. I’m consumed as the arousal builds. I’m every bit as excited when I ejaculate as I am when we are both intimate. The investment and reaction are all mine. This is why in the BDSM world, masturbating a man as part of the scene is effective, particularly at a party.

Being naked and spanked or having clothespins on my balls is a little embarrassing with an audience watching. Being jerked off is far more humiliating. Sexual humiliation is magnified when the humiliated person reveals something private, and the partner or audience isn’t vulnerable at all.

A handjob certainly counts as an activity of this kind. Mrs. Lion can be fully dressed and jerk me off. The contrast is obvious. She could go shopping, and I am naked and erect. She can treat masturbating me like a reward, a sexual doggy biscuit. I’m not saying that she thinks this way. I’m saying that I do. It’s one of the best parts of a handjob. No, I don’t like it better than oral or vaginal sex. I prefer them. The sexual humiliation factor does make the mechanical nature of a handjob more fun for me.