We talked a little bit yesterday about what I wanted Lion to do rather than just lay there. The problem is, I don’t know. He said he’s sort of stuck in position by the bed. Our Sleep Number bed isn’t as bad as sinking into a memory foam mattress, which left us feeling like turtles stuck on our backs, but it tends to keep you in place. I’m not even sure I was thinking about him moving anywhere. I think it was more of an attention thing. With the TV on (not muted, not paused), I guess I felt like he was distracted. That’s one reason I hate spending so much time in bed. We’re just always there. I feel like I’m competing for TV time and whatever else is going on. I also wonder if Lion would be snoozing so much if we watched TV in the living room.

Regardless of that, I moved over to snuggle and started playing with my weenie. He was responding, but he wasn’t getting quite as hard as I would have liked. When I sat up to play with him, I really didn’t want to use my hand. We’ve been experimenting to see if I can still edge him with my hand. In the back of my mind, I thought it was the best of both worlds. If I can give him an orgasm by hand, I have the option of keeping it for myself or making Lion eat it. He hates it, so obviously, it’s something I do from time to time. However, I miss sucking him. I shared that with Lion, and he graciously suggested I should do it. What a guy! I mean, what a nightmare having a woman suck your cock.

I managed to edge him at least three times. He was very close for two of them. Then he sort of lost it. I think it still felt good, but he wasn’t as hard. Unwilling to give up on him, I kept going. I thought maybe I could revive him. He doesn’t always stop. Sometimes I’ve just let him come down too much, and more sucking gets him hard again. Not this time. I asked if he was broken. He said he wasn’t, but we weren’t getting anywhere. Then my arm started to fall asleep. You know, once that happens, it’s very hard to get that tingling to stop. But I had to.

I don’t know how long it has been since I edged Lion. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I sucked him. I think I’ll continue to prime the pump with my hand and follow up with my mouth. It seems to work best for both of us.

[Lion — I’m sure I will regret this comment. If Mrs. Lion wants to feed me semen and she is using her mouth, she can kiss it to me after I have come.]

lion being jerked off by Mrs. Lion
Mrs. Lion working on my weenie

I spent most of Labor Day struggling with the blog. If you got weird screens and errors, they were my fault. I could have avoided the entire mess by doing a little research. Typical male, right? Plunge in headfirst. Anyway, I got everything going and fixed it the way it should be. It’s now late on Monday afternoon, and I am finally done screwing around with the site code. All this work was to get me off of a very expensive ($200/year) site stats platform and onto one I host in the cloud ($60/year). Whew!

I’m not sure how I feel about sex today. Mrs. Lion can certainly get my motor running. Sunday night was a lot of fun when she used her hand instead of her mouth. It’s a worthwhile effort, I think. If her experiment works, she will have two lion-teasing choices. I’m enjoying the process. I still think that maybe some technique changes could help the cause. Maybe I can demo what I think works for me. I did this way back in 2014 during my last jerk-off.  I don’t know if that will help.

I did a little research and watched some handjob videos. The guys appeared to be at a fairly low level of arousal until a minute or two before they came. Some of these videos had 15 minutes of steady rubbing before there was a result. I’m not alone in this. I think that endurance works. Even when Mrs. Lion sucks my cock, I go through periods of lower interest, and I get pretty soft. If she persists, I get hard again, and arousal increases. I can’t explain it. I don’t think I am alone in this.

As of today (Monday), it’s been 5 days since my last orgasm and spanking. Mrs. Lion hasn’t mentioned a “just because” spanking for today. That doesn’t mean I won’t get one later. If she decides to skip it, I won’t mind a bit!

Lion was lamenting the fact that he hasn’t had any full hand jobs in a while. No, he wasn’t exactly lamenting because he gets more than his share of blow jobs, but he is correct in that I haven’t been able to get him much further than an erection by hand. I set out to try and change that last night.

I can usually get him hard. Sometimes I can get him very hard. It all depends on how horny he is and if I’m doing it “correctly”. There never used to be a problem, but now, unless I hold him a certain way, we don’t get very far. I assume it also depends on whether I’ve tied him up or used clothespins or some other torture device. The more turned on he is, the better shot I have at getting him hard. Duh!

I won’t say a blow job guarantees victory. He’s remained stubbornly soft quite a few times. It’s not that he does it on purpose. It’s probably the same reasons he doesn’t get hard for hand jobs. The difference is after he gets an erection. Then a blow job has a higher degree of success.

When I suck him, I tend to close my eyes. I think I can concentrate more on his noises and if he changes motion or hardness. Plus, the scenery isn’t the most exciting. When I give him a hand job, I either close my eyes for the same reason or I stare off into space. I’m still concentrating but the scenery is different. The problem with doing this when I’m jerking him off is that I sometimes change my grip without realizing it. Plus, Lion can see me and it may look like I’m bored. Not bored. Concentrating.

Neither of those tactics worked last night. I don’t know if I’ve just lost my touch giving him a hand job or if I’ve spoiled him too much with blow jobs. What guy would want a hand job instead of a blow job? Now I’m left with a dilemma. Do I continue to see if I can regain the ability to edge him manually or do I go back to the tried and true blow jobs? I know he’s been conditioned to only having sex on his back. Have I conditioned him to only want blow jobs?

On the other hand, last night was just four days after his last orgasm. Is that enough time for an experiment? Can he possibly be horny enough to make the assumption that hand jobs don’t work? Well, he can be horny enough. He has been in the past. However, I don’t think I’m ready to throw in the towel just yet. I’ll keep trying hand jobs. I may mix some blow jobs in, but I’ll stick to hand jobs to continue the experiment.

Yesterday, my post was about my little Twitter survey asking ladies if they liked to masturbate men. I expressed my surprise that the majority of respondents didn’t like making men ejaculate that way. It seems to me that jerking a guy off is the least involving form of sex for a woman. I think Julie of strictjuliespanks said it best:

” I don’t find it incredibly sexual, more like fun, and every decent handjob has an element of teasing to it. I find the spurty to be a nice little reward for my efforts…”

We, males, find it very sexual. It’s usually not our first choice of the kind of sex we want, but it is still a way to get off. A woman doesn’t have to undress or even allow the male access to her body. She can even wear a glove and avoid any skin-to-skin contact. It doesn’t matter. She will arouse and, if she wishes, make him ejaculate. It’s sex for him, but not for her.

It can be an expression of power. He can be rewarded with sexual release almost as easily as giving him a treat for doing a simple chore. It can be a humiliating show of control when she does it while other women (and men) are present.

In a vanilla context, masturbating a man is a simple way of relieving his sexual tension without requiring much effort from his partner. It can be performed discreetly almost anywhere. Unzip, rub, replace, and zip. A quick five minutes in the car, in a family restroom, a friend’s bathroom is all that’s needed. Convenient and quick.

Obviously, we get it. We understand it is an activity that requires no real involvement with us. For the woman, it’s a mechanical process that calms us and keeps us docile. A man who has just been jerked off is very unlikely to be sexually aggressive, at least for a while. Jerking him off is a nice way to avoid saying you have a headache.

Most of us will accept this sexual gift. We will understand that it isn’t necessarily an expression of love. It’s a nice thing to do for a horny male. If more young women understood this, a lot of unwanted pregnancies could be avoided.

For more than seven years, my primary sexual outlet was Mrs. Lion’s hand. Eventually, I stopped responding to her efforts to get me off with her hand. That was after thousands of teasing and ejaculation sessions. I always hoped for more but was happy to get her hand. Handjobs rarely come with foreplay. That’s one more reason why it was a go-to for my lioness. I suppose that playing with my penis was foreplay when it was the overture to some other, more involving, sexual activity.

I think that Mrs. Lion will be able to go back to handjobs again. She may need to change her technique a bit, but I can’t believe that I’m really immune to manual stimulation. I’m not complaining. Since she has had difficulty getting me to the edge with her hand, she has used her mouth. I much prefer that!

Oral sex is more involving for the woman. It’s penetrative and requires more energy and commitment. Even if it doesn’t turn her on, she can’t claim it isn’t really sex. On the other hand, it’s fair to say that a handjob is sufficiently impersonal and physically safe to be considered a nice thing to do without committing to a sexual relationship.

I know that both Mrs. Lion and I have been writing a lot about this subject lately. We have very different approaches to what we say. We have one thing in common: we consider jerking off a man to be a safe way to manage male sexual needs. One of the women’s lib movement casualties is the idea that providing a release for a man is a nice thing to do.

I don’t want to go into the rhetoric, but essentially the idea is that a woman’s role isn’t to satisfy every many she meets. I agree. That’s a silly thought. However, it’s equally silly to return to the Puritan notion that sexual expression is reserved for marriage. OK, we haven’t regressed that far, but we have returned to the “nice girls don’t do it” idea. My point is that sex isn’t binary. If you believe that any activity resulting in an orgasm is socially equal, you are missing important information.

First of all, giving someone an orgasm doesn’t mean you are in love. It means that you want to make him (or her) happy. You feel safe enough to touch (allow to be touched) “secret” areas of the body. That means there is enough trust to begin intimacy. I think that if you are comfortable giving (getting) kissed deeply, you are also ready to provide (receive) a handjob.

I realize this is radical. Think about it. You feel safe enough to put your tongue in each other’s mouths. Why wouldn’t you feel equally safe massaging his penis? Both activities are fun. Neither will get you pregnant. Nobody says you have to marry someone because of a handjob. The idea is that by making orgasm a nice thing to do for someone you have a romantic interest in, you are removing the pressure to go further. Intercourse can be reserved for the next, bigger step.