Here is how the conversation went:
Mrs. Lion: “Why is masturbating embarrassing?”
Lion: “I thought you read my post.”
Mrs. Lion: “I did.”
Lion: “I explained it in my post.”
Ahhh. Well, that clears it right up. Then this morning, he said there’s a great comment from Julie on his post. “She really gets it!” Okie Dokie. I’m glad. I don’t, but I’m happy she does. Of course, the first conversation happened when I started snuggling with him. Part of me hoped he would explain it more to me and part of me hoped it was pillow talk. Neither happened.
I can understand how masturbation could be embarrassing when other people are involved. But then, wouldn’t any sex act be embarrassing when other people are involved. I don’t necessarily mean actually participating. I mean watching. Let’s say it’s a play party. If you’re bound and gagged and people are watching, I’d think that would be pretty embarrassing. If you’re being flogged or spanked and people are watching, I can see it being embarrassing. In a private setting, not so much. Why would masturbation be embarrassing in an intimate setting? I wouldn’t think it would matter if the masturbator were clothed or not. Would it be embarrassing if I was fully clothed while I punished Lion?
Maybe it’s my level of comfort with having people around. For that matter, perhaps it’s my level of comfort with sex. I’m not a prude, but I certainly feel like one when compared to Lion or Julie. I would be embarrassed if someone else masturbated Lion while I was there. I think I’d even be embarrassed if someone else masturbated Lion if I wasn’t there, but I knew it was happening. And I’m not even the one being masturbated. Of course, this also goes for any other act, sexual or BDSM related.
For the record, I do see jerking Lion off as a sex act. I’m touching his penis. I’m getting him aroused. I’m making him come. Sex. Granted, it’s not as intimate as other things, but I think it qualifies as sex.
[Lion — OK, let me try to explain. First of all, I was embarrassed to explain how I was humiliated in a face-to-face conversation. It bothered me at the time. Being jerked off makes me very vulnerable. My most intimate activity is happening. If my partner is also involved, as in intercourse or oral sex, the vulnerability is mutual. Jerking me off, however, doesn’t require any exposure or vulnerability on the part of the person doing it to me. I don’t expect that the person who is masturbating me is getting any sexual reaction. She could be fully dressed, even a lesbian. Jerking a man off amuses some women. They find it funny to watch a man go through arousal and orgasm while they just rub his penis. It isn’t sex to them. It is to him. Unequal vulnerability can be humiliating. At least I see it that way.]
It’s for sure a sex act for him, and if he snuck behind my back to get a handjob from another woman without permission, it would for sure be cheating. It’s just not a sex act for me. I don’t get sexually aroused doing it (except insofar as I get aroused topping him). I do get aroused giving my man a very hard paddling or whipping, oddly.
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