By:
In: Edging
I’m back to this grip. It worked in the past, and it’s doing fine now.

Lion and I have been playing dueling music. I turn mine up so I can just barely hear his. When his is quiet, I worry mine is too loud so I turn it down until his gets louder again. I’m not sure he even hears mine at all. Don’t worry. That’s not the most exciting thing going on.

I snuggled close to Lion last night. As usual, he didn’t give me any indication if he was horny or not. Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t know. How can he not know? I mean, if I’m close and I’ve been letting my hands wander, even if it isn’t down toward my weenie, he should be able to tell if anything is happening. Am I wrong? Maybe we need some clarification. I guess he could know if he’s horny if he feels it independently of my ministrations. If he doesn’t know if he’s horny, he may be arousable. That’s actually what happens when he gives me an orgasm. I’m not horny, but I can have an orgasm if he tries. I won’t say it works one hundred percent of the time, but it can work.

[Lion — I don’t ever remember it not working. Maybe I should go back to giving her orgasms.]

Similarly, I can’t guarantee that Lion will respond if I use all the weapons at my disposal. I could tie him up, put clothespins on his balls and suck my weenie, and he could still not be arousable. The worst, I think, is when he’s horny but not arousable. I don’t know if that means there’s some underlying reason (a nagging thought or he’s starting to feel sick and doesn’t realize it yet) or maybe I’m just not doing enough to get his motor running.

I did get his motor running last night. It didn’t take that much either. I used my hand. I don’t think he prefers my hand now. I’m just glad it works for him again. For a long time, my hand was almost his sole source of release. From time to time I’d use my mouth. I didn’t think I could tease him with my mouth. When I sucked him, he was pretty sure he’d have an orgasm. Then my shoulders hurt too much to jerk him off. I guess my grip changed and it didn’t really work for him anyway. So I switched exclusively to my mouth. Lion wasn’t upset. He loves when I suck him. Me too! I get all the Lion cream directly.

I’m not sure why I tried using my hand again. I think Lion requested it. The change I made was moving to his side of the bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and that angle seems to work for both of us. I wind up using my right hand and, even though I’m teetering on the very edge of the bed, it’s a more comfortable position. My grip works better for him. My shoulders don’t hurt. Everyone wins.

To Lion’s dismay, I only edged him last night. He was ready for more. I got him so close he was sure I’d let him come. Nope. I told him he’d have more fun tonight. He hopes he’ll be horny again tonight. Well, yeah. Me too. My weenie was nice and hard. I’d like a command performance.

By:
In: Male Chastity

I got a fortune cookie many years ago that said, “The secret of patience is finding something to do in the meantime.” This little message has been a huge help to me over the years. This isn’t easy to do when it comes to sex. In 2017 I wrote (“Maybe Tomorrow”) that BDSM and edging helped distract me from the joys of ejaculation. By then, I was pretty used to rationed orgasms. Now, after four more years have passed, I’ve pretty much forgotten what sex-on-demand is like.

No, I’m not saying that I always got sex whenever I wanted it. When a partner wasn’t available, my trusty left hand was always there. That ended in 2013 when Mrs. Lion told me that I couldn’t jerk off again. She prevented me from cheating and trained me by keeping me locked in a male chastity device for over three years. The last time I jerked off was in December 2013.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get myself off. I get horny, and Mrs. Lion isn’t about to get me off. At times like those, I fondly remember my halcyon days of self-abuse. There is a big difference between the lion of 2013 and today. I’ve stopped expecting orgasms. I get one on average every two weeks (2021 average). I want more, but I don’t expect them.

Orgasm on demand is a topic with a big divide between men and women; at least, I think it is. Women regularly tease us for our constant need to get off. Some women, like Mrs. Lion, make sure we want to get off by edging us regularly. The divide is real for a very good reason: Female orgasms are the peak of a slowly building wave of pleasure. A woman can have a lot of fun without getting over the top. On the other hand, men don’t start having real fun until they are within seconds of ejaculating.

This suits a biological purpose. Women need to have fun to welcome a penis. An orgasm isn’t required to get pregnant. Men have to experience an orgasm to ejaculate. We, males, are wired to have real fun only when we ejaculate. It serves nature’s needs. This difference in experience explains why most guys define sex in terms of orgasms. Women have a much richer sexual vocabulary. I think that male chastity teaches our female partners how big the gap is between the sexes.

Male chastity exploits our male need to ejaculate. The combination of a device that prevents masturbation with regular sexual teasing without orgasm drives us wild, at least in the beginning. At the very least, it sets up a sexual dependence that most males never experience. When we lose the ability to jerk off, we are dependent on our partners for release. If I’m grumpy because I’m horny, I can’t do anything to improve my mood.

Male chastity has taught me to be patient about sex without having something else to do in the meantime. Ironically, after eight years of this, I’m still not happy about waiting.

By:
In: Male Chastity
When Lion asked to be locked in a chastity device, the first thing I did was have him jerk off while I watched. I wanted to learn how he did it. Then, I told him that he could never jerk off again.
(That’s him in the picture)

I had no idea we’d been practicing male chastity for eight years. I have a hard time believing we’ve been together for almost twenty years. It makes perfect sense when you do the math, but where does the time go? I won’t say every aspect of male chastity is perfect, but it’s been great overall. Two things that stick out in my mind that aren’t so good are Lion’s inability to maintain an erection when he’s standing and my inability to give him as much attention as he’d like. The standing erection only really mattered when I wanted sex. I enjoyed anal sex. My failure to provide him with attention is less of an inability and more of a failing.

While I still don’t think it has anything to do with my not wanting sex, I tend not to make sex for him a priority. I used to. He got sex every night. He got an orgasm every night. As married couples do, we slowed down. Lion wouldn’t ask for sex. He didn’t want to be rejected. I guess I got tired of always being the one initiating, so I stopped asking too. Sex became a once-a-week or so activity. Eventually, Lion proposed male chastity.

When Lion gets an idea in his head, he runs with it. I mean, he reads everything he can find, he buys any toys or equipment needed to explore it fully, and he talks about it incessantly. If he discovers a new paddle, we have it in every possible configuration. Enemas? Let’s buy a case. More is better. Usually, we explored those things for a while, and they died off. So when he suggested male chastity, I assumed the same would happen. Ha!

When he explained that he’d been feeling neglected, I felt horrible and knew I had to change things. Male chastity or not, Lion needed more attention. It just so happens that male chastity pretty much requires more attention. True, it doesn’t provide as many orgasms as he might have liked, but if he was looking for attention, he was going to get it. Fairly early on, we decided I should unlock him and tease him at least every other night. I have a habit of allowing inertia to take over. I could easily have left him locked up for days without really thinking about it.

The first thing I asked Lion to do was masturbate for me. I wanted to see his technique so I could try to imitate it. If anyone knew how to arouse him and give him an orgasm, it would be him. Then I locked him up and told him he wasn’t allowed to touch himself again. The second thing I did was give him an orgasm every night. Hmmm…doesn’t male chastity mean less sex? I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it was because he’d gotten an orgasm every night when we first started living together, and I was trying to right the ship. Maybe it was because I felt bad that I’d neglected him for so long. Whatever the reason, it became clear that Lion couldn’t maintain an orgasm a night for more than a week. But at least he had fun along the way.

It took a while, but we got into a rhythm, and all was right with the world. He had fairly reasonable wait times. I made him wait for an agonizing 28 days once. At a certain point, he stopped being as horny as he was in the beginning. He was harder to arouse. We figured out he has a sweet spot of four to seven days. He tends to be horny within that window. Not that he’s not horny other times. He’s just reliably horny then.

We’ve been through a lot in those eight years. Lion has had multiple surgeries, some of which have left him less able to do things. We’ve speculated that my having to do more around the house has left me stressed out. Truth be told, I’m wondering if I never recovered from our move a few years ago. That was incredibly stressful for both of us. It might have been the beginning of the end for me in terms of having enough energy to give Lion attention. What I need to do is to go back to my original self-imposed every-other-day rule. If Lion is up for attention, he should get it every other day. It’s too easy for me to wallow in inertia. Who knows? Maybe it will help my stress level if I focus more on keeping to a play schedule.

You know me. I’m always up for an experiment.

By:
In: Male Chastity
1-inch long jail bird

We have just completed our eighth year of male chastity. In December of 2013, I showed Mrs. Lion a Chinese chastity device I found on Amazon. I explained my understanding of Male Chastity and asked her to lock me into it. At the time, neither of us imagined male orgasm control would become a permanent part of our marriage. After eight years, it looks like it is.

Right from the start, Mrs. Lion came up with something that made a profound change in how I think about sex. She banned masturbation. Bear in mind, this wasn’t just a rule she created. She also had me locked into a male chastity device 24/7. I couldn’t masturbate if I wanted to.

The first time I was allowed out of the device for more than a few days was over three years later. By then, I had been conditioned not to jerk off. It didn’t cross my mind that I could. I’m not entirely sure I can make myself ejaculate at this point. Maybe it’s still possible. I just lost interest in doing it.

The other important change is that I stopped expecting an orgasm when we did anything sexual. Mrs. Lion would edge me nearly every night. She only let me ejaculate when she decided I should. In the beginning, I complained and whined about being left hard with no place to come. Once I stopped believing I was supposed to come every time my penis was stimulated, I stopped complaining when I was horny and left with no outlet.

Women who read this will shrug. The guys know what a big deal this is. Sure, when I was younger, I would make out and even pet with a female. Usually, that wouldn’t end in orgasm for me. When I was home alone, my left hand took care of the problem. I suspect that for most guys, sex has usually been in their own hands. That changed for me at the end of 2013.

I’m not sure what life would have been like if we didn’t take up male chastity. Mrs. Lion’s sex drive would have disappeared, and I would have faced a tough situation. Before December 2013, she didn’t realize that I masturbated. She thought I didn’t need much sex, I guess. I suppose that I’d still be jerking off a couple of times a week. I might have become more distant because I was feeling neglected. That’s what was happening when I suggested locking me up in a chastity device all those years ago. I guess we dodged a bullet.