By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

Wednesday night, I got a “just because” spanking. Mrs. Lion wanted to explore using her new yoga pillow. She also wanted to work on her technique to spank my most tender spots: the soft skin inside my crack and the tender area on the inside of my thighs. She has the small, blue for that. Overall, the spanking was painful but mercifully short. Her “inside” work with the blue paddle didn’t hurt much. I think she’s still working on how to swat those areas.

Generally, I yelp when she connects solidly with my posterior. Those are the only sounds I tend to make. It occurred to me that maybe we are missing a useful element of the spanking process. I may be overthinking this, but it seems to me that an essential element might be amplifying the humiliation of getting a bare-bottom spanking. What I mean is that, for the most part, Mrs. Lion disregards any sounds I make. She goes about her business punishing me in silence.

There’s nothing wrong with this. Domestic discipline’s whole point is to make me learn through pain that I need to obey my lioness consistently. Sometimes, I think she stops a little early. Let me clarify. After the spanking is over, I sometimes think she probably should’ve spanked me longer. I never think that while she is beating my bottom.

begging for orgasms

A long time ago, a girlfriend decided I was entirely too quiet during sex. She liked verbal feedback. I was not enthusiastic about providing it. One afternoon, she started jerking me off. Once she had me very excited, she told me that she would only continue if I told her how much I wanted her to keep it up. At first, I was pretty lame. You know, “oh boy, oh boy, this feels good.” She knew I would quickly learn. When I was very close, she stopped and said, “You can do better than that.” I was in no shape to disagree. I began begging her to please keep playing with my cock. She did only as long as I kept sincerely telling her how much I wanted it.

It felt silly to me when I did it. She knew it would. She also knew that I would eventually learn to do this more naturally. Making me tell her how much I liked what was happening became a condition of sex. If I got quiet, she would stop. Eventually, I learned to be a little noisier during sex. I think I liked the slight humiliation the process included.

if i’m not begging her to stop, i must need more swats

It occurred to me that maybe both Mrs. Lion and I need to become more verbal during discipline sessions. It’s not natural for either of us. Feedback is beneficial. Mrs. Lion is starting to realize this and sometimes lets me know that she’s just warming me up. However, aside from asking me if I’m ready after she’s paddled me for a while, she doesn’t say, “Now we will get started with the real spanking.” I think that would have a big effect on me.

For my part, I would think that it would be useful to keep me from withdrawing into myself during a spanking. After all, spanking is a conversation of sorts. I remember that Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com says that a key part of any spanking she delivers is getting her husband to beg her to stop. I know she means real begging, not the sort of, “Oh, please stop Mistress,” stuff. She wants real begging and pleading. I’ve basically disregarded that since it’s something I don’t want to do. I think that it’s useful. For one thing, Mrs. Lion would know I don’t like doing that, and sincere begging would only come when I’m getting truly desperate.

This gives her some idea of how successful her spanking is. More importantly, it’s an opportunity to verbally interact during the punishment. We’ve tended to skip the “scolding” aspect of spanking. Neither of us is very verbal that way. Maybe we should try adding words. I’m not saying that when I start to beg earnestly enough, Mrs. Lion should stop punishing me. She should continue until she’s decided I’ve had enough. But, maybe a condition of even thinking about stopping is when I’m sincerely and humbly begging forgiveness.

I’ve been hesitating as I write this because I absolutely won’t like it one little bit if she makes me do it. I also know that I will do it if it helps end the spanking. It’s the polar opposite of my earlier jerk-off training. That training worked because I really wanted an orgasm. This training will work because I want the spanking to end.

It isn’t so much that the begging will amplify the punishment’s value, even though it will. It’s more that Mrs. Lion and I are actively communicating during punishment. There is something about having to beg and knowing that the begging is required, but it still gives me no extra control, which adds an extra humiliating dimension to being spanked. There is a lot of value to adding verbal to the strong non-verbal communication during a spanking.

By:
In: Anal play, Spanking

We tried the yoga pillow again. Well, Lion tried it. I spanked him while he was trying it. His cheeks were still not spread open enough to spank into the crack. I’m not sure what we’ll need for that. I was concentrating on hitting near the crack and spreading his cheeks to hit inside. Lion tells me I hit to the side if I swat where I think I should. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it when he sits. He just feels it more if I get the majority of the swats in the middle.

Between switching from the wood paddle for his cheeks to the smaller paddle for inside his cheeks and concentrating on the placement of those swats, I wasn’t really able to figure out if he’d had enough. When I asked him if he thought that was enough of a warmup, he asked why I was hitting him. I told him it was “just because.” And if it was just because, it didn’t really matter how long I hit him, so I stopped a few minutes later.

I know the just because swats are supposed to be the same as a punishment, but I really wanted his cheeks open so that I could swat inside the crack. If that wasn’t happening, there didn’t seem to be much point. If I owed him swats, I certainly would have continued. He would have needed to learn a lesson, or at least be reminded that he’d broken a rule.

spanking inside his crack is still a challenge

My issue remains, how do I get his cheeks spread open? Lion suggested trying over the knee again. I don’t think either of us is acrobatic enough to do that. Maybe there’s a way, but I don’t want to take a chance on him falling. I can’t remember if our spanking bench opened him up or not. We dismantled it a long time ago anyway. Oh well. The search continues.
[Lion — I could spread them for you.]

I didn’t do anything anal with him. Maybe we’ll do it tonight. I figured spanking was enough for one night. I still have to give him a haircut, but I may be able to put it off one more day. I’m finding that taking a shower earlier adds to the chaos of coming home and doing whatever needs to be done before dinner is started. I like having some time to decompress from the day. Lion says he thinks a shower is calming and de-stresses him. I’m sure I’ve found showers comforting at some point, but taking one before dinner makes me feel rushed. I suppose I’ll get used to it, though.

The lion may be ready for some weenie attention, especially if we do anal play. It’s been a few days. Even if he doesn’t have an erection, he’ll still like being played with. Think of it as snuggling for his private area.

By:
In: CBT

I wonder what works reliably for most men. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are more and more sex toys dedicated to masturbating men. In the past, the market was limited to sleeves like the Fleshlight that claim to imitate the sensation of being inside a vagina or a mouth. They consist of a silicone sleeve that you lube up and have at it. We have a couple of those. I can’t claim we’ve adequately experimented with them since Mrs. Lion only used our Fleshlight once.

magic wand on my hard penis
The Magic Wand is the only vibrator that reliably gets me off. That’s me in the picture.

The second category is male vibrators. Women have been using vibrators forever. Vibration on the clitoris reliably produces orgasms for most women. Until very recently, the only male vibrator was a crossover from the female toybox. I’m referring to the Magic Wand. This is a potent vibrator that, when applied to the right spot on the penis, will produce an ejaculation. We have one, and Mrs. Lion has had excellent success getting me off with it.

This is how the Autoblow ai works. The position, stroke length, and speed are computer controlled.

The third category includes devices that provide friction and movement. The Autoblow simulates the sensations of oral sex; at least, that’s what the manufacturer claims. We have one and have only used it once. It felt pretty good, but I didn’t sense any oncoming orgasm. Perhaps it requires further experimentation. There are a few other products that use suction pumps to provide a more realistic oral sex experience. They are loosely based on milking machines. They consist of a hard plastic shell with a latex sleeve inside. The penis is inserted into the latex sleeve, well lubed, of course, and the suction pump pulsates and forces the penis in and out. Many years ago, I had one of these and managed to get myself off after a lot of experimentation reliably.

The Jett puts two powerful vibrators where they will do the most good.

More recently, male vibrators have come on the market. These devices rely on powerful little vibrators. They are usually sleeves that situate the vibrator just under the underside of the head, where it will do the most good. The theory behind them is that men need stronger vibration than women. One, made by the same people who make Autoblow, claims to be based on the devices used to help paralyzed man ejaculate. I’ve tried several of these devices and have had absolutely no success with them.

The whole point of male and female masturbators is to provide sensations that feel like they’re coming from a partner. Obviously, the best male masturbator is the hand. That gets boring for most guys. Since I can’t masturbate, I don’t have any recent practice. I’ve given some thought to what might work for me. There’s a vibrator from Lilo that is sleeve-shaped and contains a powerful vibrator. What makes this device unusual is that you can connect it to your cell phone via an app. The device contains several sensors that detect temperature and pressure, plus other parameters. The manufacturer’s idea was that some smart developer would create an app that used the sensors’ feedback to improve the experience intelligently.

Lelo SDK

As far as I know, nobody has built that app yet. Too bad. Just judging from the way I react when Mrs. Lion stimulates me, it’s obvious that what feels good changes in the course of stimulation. This is where an intelligent device has a chance to become amazing. Mrs. Lion has pointed out that my erection can grow harder and softer depending on my state of arousal. The pressure sensor in the Lilo measures this. Increased blood flow to the penis also would increase the temperature. There is a sensor for that as well. This ideal app would monitor these parameters and vary the intensity and speed of the vibrator, attempting to optimize pressure and temperature. If the pressure or temperature decreases, it would start changing the parameters again, trying to optimize the reaction of the penis.

It would be exciting if someone develops it. I know that Lilo has been selling their device as an SDK (Software Development Kit). I think that their device probably isn’t sufficiently complex to really do the job. I would think that aside from vibrating, it would have to inflate to increase and decrease pressure on the penis. It would also need a way to move the vibrator around to find the “sweet spot.”

It seems to me that there isn’t much information about enhancing male arousal. The assumption seems to be that stimulating the penis in some general way sufficient to get a guy to ejaculate. I think it’s time to build devices that try to optimize ejaculation. As Lilo has shown, it’s completely practical to develop sensors and device controls that would allow an app to improve male stimulation.

I’m not claiming that the same wouldn’t be helpful for women as well. It’s just that guys haven’t been seen as much of a market for sophisticated sexual toys. I also think that there is very little incentive for scientists to learn what optimizes sexual experiences. It seems to me that if someone put effort into actually creating the better sex toy, the world would indeed beat a path to that orifice.

By:
In: Anal play, Spanking

I have been so tired lately. Worse than usual. Obviously, this is not conducive to working, household responsibilities, or taking care of Lion. It may be one of the reasons I haven’t been following through when I tease/threaten Lion with activities for the evening. I’m not sure what to do about it, but I will bring it up at my doctor’s appointment on Friday.

Several days ago, a butt plug was delivered. It’s a PVC plug from Extreme Restraints. When I saw it, I thought it might be a nice addition to the glass butt plug Lion bought recently. I thought they’d be about the same size at their small ends, with the PVC one having more marked separations between the bumps. After it arrived, however, I realized it’s much bigger. Not that we can’t or won’t use it. It’s just not quite what I had pictured. Certainly, the PVC will be squishier and perhaps easier to tolerate than the glass one. We won’t know till we try.

Speaking of trying, we haven’t revisited the yoga pillow since the first time we tried it. If I don’t give Lion a haircut tonight, we may revisit the pillow and see if we can’t find a suitable crack-spanking position. Lion has suggested a smaller rubber paddle for that purpose. It may work well, but it’s short so that I won’t have the same leverage as a longer paddle. I guess to find a good position, I can use it. It’s not like I have to abandon a longer paddle altogether. I can use the smaller paddle when I want to whomp his crack and the longer one when I swat the outer areas.

Last night, we watched one of my shows. I still like it, and Lion still doesn’t. However, it’s what he said when I told him I hadn’t thought about watching my show in the living room while he watched his in the bedroom that bothered me. He said there isn’t a surface to sit on in the living room. Previously, this was true. The couch was my go-to place for clean sheets and comforters that I didn’t want to fold and put away. A few months ago, I cleared things out. Then, when his treadmill was delivered, the area was taken over by all the cardboard it arrived in. Within a week, I had that gone. There may be a few random things in the living room, but I worked hard to get most of the stuff out, and I’m confident I could find a place to sit to watch TV if I want to.

Yesterday, Lion received some chair pads that are supposed to improve our posture when we sit at our desks. He said it has the added benefit of being squishier for a spanked bottom to sit on. Uh. No. Nope. No way. What’s the point of spanking a butt if it’s going to be comfy? He shouldn’t be allowed to cradle his sore buns after all my hard work to tenderize them. Sorry, Lion. The chair pad can be used for posture, but not the day of or the day after a spanking, making it difficult to sit. He’s lucky I don’t find a different kind of chair pad that hurts more when he sits with a sore butt.

Yup. Sometimes I’m a bitch.

[Lion — The new chair pads aren’t very comfortable. They are soft but too small.]